


How They Hold You Like a Gun

by Simon_Northcote



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Canon Typical Child Soldiers, Canon Typical Human Trafficking, Canon typical child abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Delta!Violet AU, Enemies-To-Friends-To-Lovers, F/F, F/M, Gaslighting, Kidnapping, Multi, Slow Burn, Sophie Lives AU, The Abusive Relationship tag does NOT reffer to Clementine and Violet, Torture, War, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-04-24 16:05:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 125,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19176721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simon_Northcote/pseuds/Simon_Northcote
Summary: “You have… history with Lilly, right?” The young leader asked, and made a gesture to her arm, where the brand was. “And you have history with the New Frontier. And listen. If I’m being honest, I’m… not happy with what happened. I’m not angry either. I’m just conflicted right now. But the others… They’ve already made up their minds. They don’t see it that way. Under normal circumstances, you’d be kicked out”“But?” She asked, heart beating fast, daring to be hopeful.“But, I already talked to them” Sophie continued. “You two could stay, but you’d have to do something for us in exchange”





	1. ACT I: TO BUILD A HOME

_"'Cause, I built a home_  
_For you_  
_For me_

 _Until it dissapeared,_  
_From me_  
_From you”_

_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust”_

–“[To Build A Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUFJJNQGwhk)” by The Cinematic Orchestra

 Δ

  **(Click "Next Chapter" to begin the story)**


	2. The Deserter’s Song

_“My eyes locked with a boy on the other side_  
_Hands dropped, he stood defenseless_  
_But he wasn't frightened_  
_His face was accepting_  
_But I couldn't pull_  
_I couldn't pull, I couldn't pull_

_And I could see it clear_  
_To fall was not my fear_  
_To make one fall was ”_

 –“[The Deserter’s Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O78edVvc-p8)”, by Radical Face.

Δ

It was dark and cold, and if it weren’t for the fire, Clementine wouldn’t be able to see anything past the head of the horse.

The McCarroll Ranch. An ally community to Richmond and, by extension, it was part of The New Frontier.

That description alone should be enough to imply that Clementine was not concerned in saving bullets in them.

The man shot her horse. The animal gave an infernal shriek, throwing Clementine to the ground and gasping in pain as bright red blood flooded from its body like a river.

She did now know the man, but she did not care. White hot rage blinded her and she shot him in the face, completely disfiguring him. It brought her a morbid satisfaction to watch the red patch where once he had a face.

She made her way to the nursery. The flames devoured the building as if they were alive. Under the sound of cracking wood and fire, she could hear the rapid stutter of a machine gun, somewhat suffocated by the walls. There was screaming, and sobbing, and something that sounded like an explosion at some point. It was far enough to get in and out without being noticed, if she acted quickly.

The nursery was a small room with lockers against the wall opposite to the door splashed with a dark red liquid, and several tables with feeding bottles, medical supplies, toys and very small folded clothes. It was empty. Not a single person stood there to watch the kids, although it made sense for Clem to think that, as for a moment she thought there really was no one there.

But the soft cries from one of the lockers reached her ears before she turned around and left to look for the boy somewhere else.

He recognized the sound. She would recognize it anywhere.

She raced to the locker and struggled with the lock. Through the slits, AJ’s eyes found hers, and he cried and cried out of sheer terror.

“AJ” She breathed. “It’s me. It’s me. You need to be quiet”

She put a finger against her lips and hushed him. It was a gesture he thankfully recognized. He mimicked her and forced himself to remain quiet.

The gunshots were closer now. There was another explosion outside, rushed footsteps and yelling. She hadn’t realized how hot it was until that moment.

“Is it here?” A strong male voice demanded to know.

“N-no” A second female voice replied.

Clementine only had a few seconds to hide under a table, behind the tablecloth, before the door swung open and a woman was pushed inside by a man with military boots.

“Please…”

“Quit talking. Is this where you keep the children? Because I don’t see any”

The man talking examined the tables and the drawers. Clementine’s heart was stuck in her throat, beating cold. She considered attacking them, getting rid of both of them and getting the job done. But if the man was accompanied, that would certainly get them all killed, or worse.

She—She couldn’t let them take AJ. No. Just… she couldn’t lose him again. Oh, God, please don’t take him again.

“Cut the bullshit. Where are the kids!?”

There man raised his assault rifle and aimed at the woman, who broke into hysterics.

“Please! Don’t do this!”

“No one here has to die!” The man insisted. “Just tell me where the kids are, and everyone will get out of this unharmed”

“I know what you do to kids” The woman sobbed. “ _She_ told me. I know who you are”

“ _Who_?!”

There was a violent jerk and the woman fell to the ground. He kicked her dead on the face, sending her glasses flying away.

“Who told you what?!”

The woman’s eyes connected with Clementine’s, still hiding under the table. She simply observed. It was better not to get involved, not to give away her position.

The woman shook her head so violently she must have snapped her neck.

“I’ll die before I give you the kids, you—”

The bullet hit her in the cheek, killing her instantly. Clementine bit her tongue to hold back a scream. Her lifeless eyes were still staring at her.

Her heart was beating so fast she could hardly hear anything over the sound of blood rushing through her ears.

She man walked up to the lockers. Tears of fear, anger and frustration gathered up in Clementine’s eyes. She’d come so close, so goddamn close, and now they were going to take him again.

She gripped her gun. If she was going to die, she’d rather die defending AJ.

But before she jumped out and shot the man, the latter turned around without bothering to open the lockers. The door slammed shut and Clementine was left alone again with the silence, only broken by her ragged breathing and the blood drops hitting the ground.

She waited. Once she couldn’t hear the man’s footsteps anymore, she shakily came out of under the table.

She looked at AJ through the slits of the locker again. He had cowered into the corner of the locker, curled into a ball. He was crying softly, so softly she could barely hear him.

She tried to force the locker open once again, but to no avail. She didn’t want to make noise and attract the raiders.

Her eyes wandered to the dead woman. She had died to protect AJ. And, in a way, she had died to protect Clementine, too. A person she had never met. Someone who might be with the raiders for all she knew. And Clementine had let her die. She had left her die on purpose, because it was _convenient_ for her if the woman died instead of her.

Guilt settled in her stomach with a bitter feeling. She could have saved this brave woman. And to think she had came inside thinking about killing as many people as possible to get AJ back…

This woman had earned her respect. That’s why Clementine felt so invasive when she checked her pockets in search for a key. The cold metal of it made her anxious.

She quietly opened the locker and pulled AJ into her arms. He let out a soft cry when he saw the dead woman. Clementine had to cover his mouth with a bloody hand to quiet him.

“Shhh…” She whispered.

“Shh…” AJ mimicked. Blood stained his face.

“Yes, that’s right” She said. She grabbed a dark blanked from the pile and wrapped him in it. “Come on. Let’s get the hell out of here”

She pulled him to her chest and timidly opened the door. There were no raiders anywhere near, and the gunshots were far again. If she was quick, she could get out and pretend nothing had happened.

She walked quickly as a cat down the corridors. The gate she had come from wasn’t far, and she didn’t hear gunshots anywhere close anymore. She could hit the road again in no time.

The darkness seemed to seep into every corner not reached by the fire, like an ink that filled all the cracks. Clementine slithered along the darkness, across a room full of twin beds and around a corner, when her stomach dropped at the sight of a dozen of people on their knees, with their hands tied behind their backs and a man with a gun talking to them.

“You brought this on yourselves!” He claimed. Clementine recognized him as the man who had killed the woman back at the nursery. “If you had only given us the chance to talk with you, to bring you our proposal, none of this would have happened!”

About half of the people on their knees were children, Clementine noticed. Most of them were crying.

She immediately retreated into the corner, away from the view of the raiders, and pressed AJ close to her chest. The gate was behind them. There was no way she’d be able to escape through that path. Her only chance was to find another exit.

“You won’t have us” Another man, one on his knees, exclaimed with pride. “You can take us, but you will never _have_ us”

Another gunshot. A woman screamed and several children shrieked. AJ sobbed in Clementine’s arms.

“Shut up! Shut up! All of you!”

The room quickly fell into a tense silence. AJ’s sobs kept going, and Clem tried to cover his mouth again. What the fuck was she doing?! She had to get out, fast.

She scrambled away from the corner. AJ let out a weak cry.

“Who is there?!” The man yelled. Clementine’s blood went cold. “Go”

A new rhythm of footsteps echoed in the room and Clementine raced out the other door. She slammed it shut as soon as she crossed it, but that didn’t stop her chaser, who followed close.

She turned around a corner and fired a blind shot at the raider, which missed. With AJ crying in her arms and her heart racing like a horse, she sprinted through hallways and rooms red with fire and blood until she caught a glimpse of an open door that gave way to the forest outside. The raider shot at her and missed by mere inches. She rushed to the door to turn the doorknob, but before she could even touch it, her stomach dropped at the sound of a gun being cocked behind her.

“Stop right there!” The raider yelled. There was nowhere else to go. They were going to take AJ. They were going to kill her and take her little brother again.

“I’ll kill you” Clementine lamely threatened. She quickly shifted AJ’s weight to her left arm and raised her gun with her right one.

The raider was a girl of her age. Thirteen or fourteen years old, but not more. And she looked infinitely scared.

Clementine did not know in that moment she was meeting for the first time one of the most influential persons in her life, but it would take years for her to know this. What she knew was that this girl was aiming a gun at her head, and she did not want to die.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, Clementine with her heart in her throat. AJ let out a broken cry.

The girl looked at her with fear and almost pity. Her hand was shaking.

“Fuck” She breathed. She lowered her gun. “Get the fuck out of here”

Wait, what?

She was letting them go.

Clementine couldn’t believe it. She turned the doorknob with caution, her eyes never leaving the girl. Once she made sure there was no one waiting for her outside, she sprinted away without looking back.

Δ

Two years later, a car drove down an old road through the forest. Clementine on the driver’s seat, AJ behind.

Her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel. Despite being around midday, her eyelids were heavy and she had to make an inhumane effort to keep them open.

She hadn’t been sleeping well the last eight years. She couldn’t wait for AJ to be eight or nine, old enough to drive, so they could take turns. Would he be able to drive at six?

A low grumbling sound came out of AJ’s stomach. Clem chuckled, as if to frantically smother the terror that arose whenever she remembered how little food they had.

“You hungry there, Goofball?” She asked cheerfully.

AJ scrunched up his nose.

“Don’t call me Goofball” he said. “That’s for babies”

“Oh, so you’re all grown up?”

“Yes!” He insisted. Then, he added. “And I’m just a little hungry”

Clementine hummed. He hadn’t eaten anything in a few days. She could hold on for longer— nine had been her record, and this was her fourth consecutive day with nothing but water. But AJ was a growing six years old boy and he needed all the food he could get.

She opened the glove box and palmed around until she found something.

“Here” she said, handing him a bag of snacks that had probably gone bad years before. “Have this”

AJ enthusiastically grabbed the bag, before his smile fell.

“But… this is all we have left”

Clementine nodded with reluctance.

“Yeah, but… We’ll find something else soon. You eat it”

“And what about you?”

Oh, here we go.

“I already ate something” Clementine lied.

“You’re lying” AJ pointed out. “You would have given it to me if you found food. Because you always do that!”

“No, because… I ate tree bark”

It would be a lie if she said she hadn’t tried it when she was around twelve, but it hurt her teeth and made her sick, so she discarded tree bark from her diet forever.

“Tree bark?”

“Yup. You still have baby teeth. You need grown up teeth to eat tree bark”

“Gross!” he chuckled. “What does it taste like?”

Clementine shrugged.

“It tastes like wood, I guess”

They stopped at a train station a few miles later. Clementine stabbed a walker or two in the head and cleared the perimeter before letting AJ out of the car.

“Why didn’t you let me help?” AJ asked.

“You only have a gun” Clementine explained. “You’d have to shoot them”

And that would cause noise, and that would attract more. Yes, yes, they have both memorized it. It could be left unsaid.

“What if I use a knife?”

“You’re still too short. Once you grow taller, it will be safer for you. I promise”

She had taught him how to use knives, of course, but just in case. He wouldn’t be able to reach a walker head, and although the walker would lower its head to reach him, it would still be taller, bigger and stronger and Clementine wasn’t taking any chances. She only let him kill them when they were not a threat anymore.

They made their way inside the station. The trains were all unusable now, and there was no way in, anyways, to check if there was anything left inside.

They managed to force the door open, and they were received with the pleasing sight of two corpses tied to the chairs they were sitting on. Each had a clear stab on their temples, and they seemed to have been dead for a long time,

“Yuck” was AJ’s simple comment.

“Yuck indeed” Clementine agreed. There was a little empty bottle and a note by their feet. She gestured towards it. “Wanna read it?”

AJ silently crouched and grabbed the piece of paper.

“Please, leave us alone” he read. “This is what we wanted” He raised his head and stared at the bodies. “I don’t get it. Why would anyone want to be tied to a chair for forever?”

Clementine observed the bottle in the ground and the stabs in their heads.

“I think they wanted to be walkers” she explained. She pointed at the bottle. “When people want to… kill themselves, they may eat a lot of pills to make themselves sick, but—”

“But it doesn’t do anything, because it doesn’t destroy the brain” AJ finished. “But why would anyone want to die? It doesn’t make sense!”

Clementine shrugged and hoped it didn’t come off as insensitive.

“Sometimes, people think it’s the only escape. To get out of this world, I mean” she said. “But it’s not!” She rushed to add.

“There are other escapes?”

“No, I mean… Killing yourself is never an option. Understood?”

AJ nodded, absorbing everything Clementine taught him like a sponge.

“Understood” He looked at the corpses again. “If they wanted to be walkers, why did they kill them?”

Clementine shrugged again.

“I don’t know. Guess they thought they were a danger. I mean, they wouldn’t be wrong”

They continued to explore the station in silence. They found a can of food gone bad, and not much else. Clementine remembered the good old times, in which canned food was a good option that you could hope wouldn’t make you sick. An old blue hokey stick lay in the corner.

There was a locked door that led to another part of the station. Thankfully, AJ found the key in one of the corpses, and Clementine carefully made her way through the door, careful to cross before AJ.

It was a dark room, with the window covered with heavy wooden planks. There weren’t any walkers. In fact, there was a bed. A fucking bed! A big, mostly clean mattress with more blankets that you could count lay on the floor. There were boxes scattered around, with cans of food and even some medical supplies.

And when they moved the mattress, they found a small panel on the floor that, once removed, gave way to what could be called the basement of the building.

Cans upon cans upon cans of food piled up in what seemed to be infinite mountains of supplies. Clementine had never seen so much food together in her life. Her stomach ached at the sight.

She exchanged a look with AJ, who was smiling wildly.

“This is awesome!” He exclaimed. “We… we could stay here! We have a bed, we have food, we have—”

“I wouldn’t stay here if I were you” a new voice said. There was a click of a gun and AJ froze.

Clementine immediately stood up and went for her knife, facing the stranger.

It was a tall, pale man with holding a duffle bag with his left arm. His right one held the gun aimed at AJ. Clementine didn’t hesitate to put herself between them.

“We’ll leave” She said. “We didn’t touch anything”

The man made a long pause before speaking again. He dropped his bag on the floor.

“Well, that’s fortunate” he commented, stepping closer. “Give me a city name”

Clementine blinked.

“What?”

The man stared at her for a moment. He gave a chuckle.

“If you’re leaving, I assume it won’t bother you if I take the food, then”

“The food is ours” AJ chided. His hand flew to his own gun in his holster, without taking it out.

“It’s mine now” The man cocked his gun. He looked at Clementine for a long moment. “You don’t live here, do you? Where are you staying at?”

“Nowhere” Clementine replied, standing up straighter in an attempt to seem taller “We’re on the move”

“You don’t happen to have some… friends who live near?”

She shook her head.

“It’s only us”

The man chuckled.

“Well, isn’t that an unlucky choice. It’s hard living on your own, specially being so young”

He was blocking the door, and still aiming the gun at them, without making an actual move to take the food.

“Let us leave” Clementine demanded.

“And why would I do that?” He asked. He took a step closer.

“We’ll kill you if you don’t!” AJ threatened. The man diverted his attention to him.

“You’re a little fighter, aren’t you?” He walked up to him, but Clementine pushed AJ behind her, away from the man’s sight.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“Same as everyone else” The man said. From the short distance, she noticed his eyes were of different color: one blue and one brown. “Food, supplies… information”

“I have none of that” Clementine insisted. “Look, let’s just… walk away. We won’t bother you”

“Oh, of course you won’t” He sneered in a way that made Clementine’s blood go cold. “I have a group, you know. We could use someone like you”

He pushed his gun closer to her. Her heart started to race painfully.

“Clem…” AJ whimpered.

“No, thank you” She said. “We work better on our own”

“Oh, you can’t expect to be on your own forever” He insisted. “People need a group at some point, don’t we?”

Clementine made a gesture at AJ. They had practiced it before. Next thing she knew, a gunshot rang inside the train station and the man had dropped his gun and was now clutching his leg.

“You little shit!” He cried out. Blood poured out of the wound in an alarming way.

“Come on, AJ” Clementine told her little brother. He grabbed the man’s gun and rushed out of the room, Clementine following suit. The man tried to grab at her leg, but she kicked him on the nose and kept running.

The walkers lifted their heads. They had heard the gunshot, and the man wouldn’t stop screaming. They mindlessly followed the sound, and Clementine only got a second to run past them before any of walkers got a chance to grab her.

“Clem!” AJ cried out from his place next to the car. They hopped inside and Clementine turned the ignition key, but some walkers heard the engine and stumbled towards them, mercilessly beating the windows, the glass shattering more and more by the second.

Clementine didn’t waste time and pressed the pedal, and the car dragged a few walkers with it for a couple dozen of feet. One of them had gotten stuck in the front window, and AJ let out a shriek when it managed to break it, lunging at Clementine. She turned the steering wheel and the car gave a violent turn to the right. She couldn’t see anything. The walker grabbed her arm and she held it away with both hands on its neck. She couldn’t reach her knife, but AJ did, and he extracted it from her pocket and stabbed the walker on the head. The corpse fell limp on Clementine. She pushed it off her and returned to the steering wheel. The car gave a jump when it drove out of the road and into the dirt, and Clementine tried to redirect it but then it gave another jump, and she lost control of the wheel. There was a sudden twist and a turn and a painful crash halted the movement.

Her head throbbed as she looked around in a numb haze. She couldn’t see AJ. She tried to open her mouth to call out for him, but it was as if it didn’t respond to her anymore. With clumsy movements, she tried to unfasten the safety belt. It took her a moment to realize she was hanging upside down.

Her mouth tasted like copper. Her vision was blurry and dark.

She finally saw AJ, lying unconscious on the ground. She reached a hand out, as if to touch him, but he was too far away. Outside, out cold for the monsters to take.

Then, there was a person, lifting him up.

“Don’t…” Clementine slurred. “Don’t take him…”

She caught a glimpse of a head of red hair before her eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This took me like two months to write but here it is! "How They Hold You Like A Gun"!  
> I'll be honest with you, i have the entire ACT I already writen and I'm programming the chapters to be automatically posted every five days. It will have Seven chapters, and while they're bein posted, I will work on ACT II.  
> I've been wanting to write this for a long time. This is inspired in the Delta!Violet AU in Tumbrl. I'm so happy I finally get to post this!  
> Quick disclaimer: I am 15, so I apologize if anything seems dumb or childish. And english is not my first language, so I apologize if anything is hard to read. Please tell me if that's the case and I'll see what I can do to fix it.
> 
> Chapter Two: "Third Family Portrait", will be posted on June 16th, 2019.


	3. Third Family Portrait

_"And by the turn of summer we packed up all we owned_  
_And with my mom and brothers we started for the coast_  
_And I would count all the clouds on the way_  
_And you and I would name them while the world around us changed_  
_And I remember asking if the place we're moving would have more food_  
_And my mother grew as distant as can be_  
_and mouthed, ‘please’”_

–“[Third Family Portrait](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43P2ZpX7fjQ)”, by Radical Face.

Δ

When Clementine woke up, the first thing she realized was that she was in a bed.

Terror hit her like a freight train. She hadn’t slept in a bed in… years. The sheets were surprisingly clean and soft, and the mattress was more comfortable than anything she had ever slept on.

She wasn’t in the car. She didn’t remember getting there.

Next thing she realized with a pang of panic was that AJ wasn’t next to her.

She quickly sat up, and felt a pull on her left arm. It was held down to the bed post by several thick layers of duct tape. She immediately tore it off, making her skin ache.

The room was quite small, but on two of the walls there were double beds, a desk with a chair and a bookshelf. Opposite to the door wall, there was a chest of drawers and a window above it. There was also a big closet next to the door. The walls themselves were incredibly worn out, with the old beige paint cracked, dirty and ruined, and patches in which the planks of wood were uncovered.

It looked like no one had put a foot in the room in years.

She tried opening the door with shaky hands, but it was locked. Her heart started beating faster, deafeningly loud in her ears. She was locked in an unknown room, in an unknown place, and AJ was nowhere to be seen.

They had taken him again. They were taking her little brother away from her again.

No. Just… She couldn’t let that happen. She needed to get AJ back.

She swallowed and took in a deep breath. Panicking wouldn’t get AJ back. She tried to bring her frantic heart to peace.

She found a toolbox in the closet, inside of which there was a sharp palette knife. She forced the lock open with some difficulty due to her shaking hands, stored the knife in her pocket and quietly pushed the door open.

The wood creaked under her boots as she stepped into the hallway. Much like the room, the beige paint had been destroyed beyond repair. The windows were dirty and shattered, and litter was scattered around in the floor. The walls were covered in graffiti, bad words and such. The chill that seeped through the broken windows sent a shiver down her spine. There was a distinctive smell of dust, a telltale sign of the lack of care the place received.

One end of the hallway, at her right, was blocked by piled up debris and unused furniture as a makeshift barricade. So she advanced towards the left. She quietly stepped ahead, careful not to make too much noise and paying close attention to any sound or sign of life.

She stopped at the corner. There were footsteps. Not too far, and coming closer. With her heart in her throat, she tightened her grip on the knife and waited.

A girl turned around the corner. She was redhead, short and a bit chubby. She had an incredibly clean black gun in her hand. The sight shot a pang of dread through Clementine. They had guns, and she only had a knife. They could shoot her on sight. They could shoot AJ. They had taken him and they had guns. He could be hurt…

Clementine immediately jumped from her spot and pushed her against the wall. She grabbed the girl’s wrist and held it next to her head, the gun aiming at the ceiling.

“Drop the gun” She demanded, pressing the knife to her neck.

“Hey! Get off me!” She yelled. She had a bit of a southern accent.

“Where am I? Where’s the boy?”

“Hey!” A new voice yelled. A boy in plaid with a bow and arrow drew his weapon and aimed at Clementine. “Let her go!”

Clementine froze. She was in disadvantage. She couldn’t do this. They had her. They held her at arrow’s point and there was not getting out of this one and AJ was nowhere to be seen. She could feel tears prick her eyes.

“Where is he?” She asked pathetically. She didn’t sound intimidating, or strong. She sounded an awful lot like a little girl.

“We don’t have to tell you shit” The boy said. “Let her go, drop the knife or I’ll shoot”

She sucked in a shaky breath. She could usually push her fear aside so easily.

Fuck. She had panicked, hadn’t she?

She had no choice. She slowly stepped away from the girl and dropped the knife.

“There” She said. She glanced at the gun in the girl’s hand. The girl made a movement with her hand and Clementine’s heart gave a painful leap in her chest. For a moment, she thought she was going to shoot her, but it was just a gesture. The girl’s arm dropped to her side.

The girl then walked towards the boy, still glaring at Clementine. She looked more pissed off than she looked scared.

“Jesus Fuck! I patch you up and this is the thanks I get?” She protested, casually picking up Clementine’s knife.  The boy put a protective arm around her, although it didn’t look like she needed any protection.

“I told them she’d be trouble” The boy bitterly commented. He looked at Clementine again. She was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling that was not exactly guilt, but it wasn’t far. More like embarrassment “Will you behave now?” The boy asked. “Because I don’t want to put up with shit like you putting a knife at my girlfriend’s neck”

“I will” she promised. “Just… Please tell me he’s safe”

“Safer than we are with you, it seems” The redhead girl complained.

“Good” The boy said. “Now, follow me and don’t do anything weird”

They guided her down the hallway, with the boy standing behind her in case she made any dangerous movement. The girl looked angry and infinitely exasperated, with the kind of face of someone who hates their job with every fiber of their being. The boy just seemed mildly pissed.

Clementine’s heart kept angrily hammering against her ribcage. Her hands were clenched into fists, nails digging painfully into her palms. It helped. It distracted her from the fear.

She wanted to insist, ask them where AJ was, but it didn’t seem like she was getting any reply anytime soon and she didn’t want to test her luck. It was better to wait for the right moment to ask the questions she wanted to make.

They opened a door at the end of the hallway that gave way to a big open space, a courtyard surrounded by strong brick walls. A big building with a set of stairs leading to it stood tall and proud to the right, with a gate in the wall opposite to it. There was a small roundabout in the center or the yard, but the concrete was cracked and it was overgrown with tall grass and small bushes. In the middle of it, a flag pole with an old ripped t-shirt proudly waving in the breeze. Two picnic tables sat not too far. There was a makeshift watch tower, where a young boy who couldn’t be older than twelve observed the perimeter. Another boy of the same age was drawing at one of the picnic tables, accompanied by a girl who was absently talking to him. When she saw Clementine, she tapped his shoulder, and he raised his head to stare at her. The courtyard was otherwise desert.

“What is this?” Clementine asked.

“What does it look like?” Was he boy’s dismissive response.

“Be nice, Aasim” a new voice commanded. The girl who was at the picnic table with the boy walked up to them. She had auburn hair and ice blue eyes. “Hey, I see you’re awake!” She stretched a hand out, as if to ask for a handshake “I’m Brody”

Clementine hesitated before shaking her hand.

“Clementine” she introduced herself.

“I see you already met Aasim and Ruby”

“You won’t believe what this little shit did” Ruby said. “She put a knife to my fucking neck! Can you believe it? As if gauze grew on fucking trees. First, the boy bites me and now _this_!?”

“He did what?” Clementine asked. She didn’t buy it. It must have been provoked. AJ wasn’t the type to attack people.

“I mean, if I were them I’d be scared too” Brody explained. “I’ll take it from here. You can go rest”

Ruby looked about to protest again, but Aasim took her hand and guided her to the picnic tables.

“I’m sorry this is your first impression of us” Brody said. “Ruby’s… not in a great mood. And you holding her at knife point doesn’t help, either”

“Did you have to lock me in?” Clementine complained.

“We don’t know you” Brody explained. “And we didn’t know if you’d survive. We needed to take precautions. I hope you understand”

Clementine wanted to be angry, to demand to be taken to AJ, but the girl had a point, and she invoked such a calm energy, she couldn’t bring herself to be mad at her. It didn’t seem fair.

“I’m sorry”

Brody shrugged.

“She’ll get over it soon, I hope. I promise we’re not usually like this” Brody smiled at her in a calming way. “Is your head feeling alright?”

Clementine’s hand instinctively went to her head. There was a strip of gauze wrapped around it, and her temple hurt—probably where she had been hit. Her hat was gone.

“I’m alright” She said, a feeling of disappointment invading her. She had gone through hell and back with that hat and now she’d lost it. But she could grieve it later.

“That’s good to hear” Brody replied. “Your boy is fine. He’s been causing some trouble. He wanted to be with you, you know?”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“Then why wasn’t he with me when I woke up?”

“Like I said, we didn’t know if you’d… If you’d get better. We didn’t want to lock him in a room with a walker”

She had to admit, it made sense. Now, she was almost thankful they have thought about it.

“Where is he now?” She asked.

“Inside the admin building” Brody gestured to the big building in front of the roundabout. “He’s in good hands. Don’t worry” She started walking towards it. “Come on, I’ll take you to him”

Maybe she should have been suspicious. What if it was a trap? If they wanted to hurt her? If AJ was already hurt, or worse?

But as soon as the doubts came, they left, and her lizard brain was invaded by the excitement and anxiety of seeing AJ again. Suspicion and fear were unimportant. She needed to have AJ by her side.

So she followed Brody inside the admin building. The main hall had two doors at the sides and a big stairway that led to a second floor, with a big, warm window illuminating the room behind it. Much like the rest of the school, it was littered with debris, broken glass and useless furniture. Hanging above them, an old, broken chandelier. A soft piano music echoed in the building. Clementine realized it had been years since the last time she heard music.

“What is this place?” She inquired.

“It was a boarding school” Brody explained. “They said we were ‘troubled youth’, so they sent us here. Some say they did us a favor. It’s a good place to hide”

Clementine followed her through one of the doors of the first floor, through a small hallway that led to a room that made her blink and stutter in her walking.

The first thing she noticed was the piano, and the boy playing it. There were rows of bookcases against the wall, books piled up next to the unlit fireplace, above which hung a big portrait of an old, well-dressed man whose eyes had big red crosses painted on them. Books scattered around the coffee table in front of it, next to an endless amount of yellow music sheets. There was a girl sitting by the coffee table, drawing something on a sketchbook at the sound of the music.

One would think it was the room of an intellectual.

AJ was there, staring quietly at the piano.

Clementine breathed out. An immense weight was instantly lifted off her shoulders, her heart unclenching and her eyes watering.

“AJ…”

AJ turned around. He drew a brilliant smile and ran towards Clementine.

Clementine met him halfway there. She fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. It was as if all the pieces of the puzzle had finally clicked together and she could breathe again and process the world around herself, as if things were the way they were supposed to be once again, they were _right_ , and all the laws of nature were being respected again. AJ was safe and in her arms and the mechanism of the world rewound back to its correct functioning.

“Oh, my god. You’re okay” She breathed.

“I am!” AJ smiled. “Are you okay? Your head is hurt”

“I’m okay” Clementine said as she checked him for wounds. “They patched me up and now I’m fine. How have they been treating you?”

“They were nice. Most of them” He said. “That girl got angry when… uh…”

“She says you bit her” Clementine told him, putting on her stern mom mask. “Is that true?”

“She snuck up behind me! I didn’t mean to”

“I know you didn’t mean to. But… you can’t go around biting the people who helped us. Understood?”

AJ sighed hopelessly.

“Yeah. Understood”

“Good!” A new voice said. It was the piano boy. “You’re not dead!”

The piano music stopped and the boy turned around in his seat to face them. He was tall and skinny, and he was wearing a big trench coat that must be about half his weight.

“I’m Louis” he introduced himself. “But you may call me the Piano Master. Or The Walker Slayer. Whichever you prefer.

“Don’t listen to him!” The girl in the chair said.

“We’ve been taking care of him for you” He explained, and gestured to the girl by the coffee table. “Me and her. She’s the boss here. I’m just her right hand man”

The girl chuckled. She was tall and pale, with shoulder-length red hair tied into a ponytail. She looked oddly familiar.

“Oh my god, Louis, I hate it when you call me that!” She laughed. She stood up and walked up to Clementine with a radiant smile. “My name is Sophie”

She shook Clementine’s hand. Now that stood close to her, one head taller, and Clementine could take a good look at her, she noticed a big, scary scar running from the left corner of her mouth to her earlobe, which was disfigured by the cut. Clementine absently shook her hand, trying to place her.

“Clementine” Clementine replied.

“Oh, we know. Your boy hasn’t stopped talking about you” She was still smiling, but it suddenly looked forced and compromised, more out of pity than out of anger.

It suddenly clicked in her head, where she had seen her before.

“You’re the one who brought us here” Clementine stated.

Sophie smiled.

“I was!” She said. “Aasim and I were out scouting when we heard the car crash. He didn’t want to _leave_ you there, you know. He just didn’t… umh…” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Didn’t want to bring you here. I managed to convince him. I mean, obviously” She smiled wider. Then, she spotted someone behind her and let out of Clementine’s hand, suddenly uninterested. “Hi, baby”

She approached Brody and placed a kiss on her check. Clementine couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“You might as well get used to it” Louis commented, shrugging with a smile “In the moment they see each other, it’s like they forget about the rest of the world”

“It seems like it” Clementine absently agreed. They walked to the other side of the room, talking about something she didn’t get to hear.

“So…” Louis pressed the piano keys without paying much attention. “How’s your head?”

“It hurts a bit”

“Hope Ruby hasn’t been giving you much trouble. She can be… a bit hard to deal with when she’s mad”

Clementine half chuckled, instinctively reaching a hand to place it on AJ’s shoulder. She was still a jumpy.

“Have you…?” She glanced at AJ. He was playing with his hands “Have you guys seen anyone when you brought us here?”

Louis’ fingers pressed the wrong keys and stopped for a moment before resuming the song. It sounded artificial now.

“I don’t know” he said. “I wasn’t there, but that’s what—”

“Clementine!” Sophie called. Brody was standing by the coffee table now, checking the books. “How are you feeling? Is your head…?”

“I’m fine” Clementine replied.

Sophie smiled.

“Good. Good. I’m glad. We were pretty worried when we found you” She took a seat on one of the chairs by the coffee table, with Brody standing next to her “We would like to ask you some questions. Would now be an okay time?”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“Uh… Sure”

She recalled holding the other girl, Ruby, at knife point. She was already coming up with arguments to defend herself if that was what they wanted to talk about.

“Please, sit down” Sophie asked. Clementine did as she was told “I’ll try to be as direct as possible. Is it possible that… you might have not been alone when we found you?”

“What do you mean?” Clementine asked.

“Is this about the man?” AJ inquired, sitting down on the third chair.

Brody turned her head to look at him.

“A man? Did you see a man?”

Sophie reached out to take her hand. She whispered something Clementine didn’t get to hear, but it seemed to comfort Brody.

Right. The man. Clementine had almost forgotten about him, but now the image of those two different eyes staring at her the same way a predator would look at their prey were pulled to the front of her mind.

She looked at AJ. God, so much could have gone wrong.

“He said we were stealing from him” AJ explained. “But that’s not true! We got there first!”

“There where?” Sophie asked.

“The train station” AJ said. “Right, Clem?”

“Yeah” Clementine nodded. “We found food in there, and then he showed up and tried to take it from us”

“Maybe he was just defending his food” Sophie said tentatively, although it seemed more like she was talking to Brody than to anyone else. Trying to comfort her.

“I don’t think so” Clementine said. “We told him we’d leave, but then he started to talk to me about… joining his group or something”

There was a tiny whimper. Clementine almost missed it. It took her a second to realize it had been Brody.

“Fuck. Sophie…”

“Heeeeey, Brody!” Louis suddenly said, unrealistically cheerfully. “Why don’t we… Uh… Take a walk? I think we could both use—”

“Shut up” She muttered. He hands were shaking “You know…!”

“Brody, love” Sophie said. She took her hands in hers. “It’s okay. We’ll talk about this later. I got this”

Clementine looked at them as if she was watching a play, as if she were an outside observer. She guessed she kind of was one.

Her heart started beating fast again. She exchanged a look with AJ and she took his hand, trying to comfort him even if she couldn’t comfort herself.

She thought about her interaction with the man. The gun aiming at her, the way he looked at AJ, as if he were a tool and he was thinking about the different ways he could use him.

What did he say to her?

_‘We could use someone like you’_

“Clem” Sophie said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Is Clem alright? I mean, can I call you that?”

She gave her a confused look.

“Y—Yeah, yeah, sure”

“Good. Clem, is everything okay?”

Clementine looked around. Louis was walking out of the room, with an arm around Brody’s shoulders. He gave Sophie one last worried look before closing the door behind him.

“She’s having a panic attack” Sophie said. “She has anxiety, you know? God, I wish I could help her”

“I had a friend like that, once” Clementine said. “Kind of, I guess. Her name was Sarah. It… it got her in trouble and I never knew how to help her”

“Brody is smart” Sophie stated defensively. “She’s a good fighter. And she’s kind. She’s so sweet” she smiled sadly. “I’m rambling, aren’t I? Sorry. Guess there are more urgent things to talk about right now” She stood up. “Come on, you two. Let’s have a walk.”

Δ

The sun was already starting to set.

They walked to the main yard, the one with the roundabout, with AJ walking close to Clementine. Brody and Louis were nowhere to be seen. The same boy from before was still drawing at the picnic tables, and Aasim was on the watch tower. Other than for them, the yard was empty.

“Could you tell me about your previous groups?” She asked politely. “I mean, you couldn’t have been alone this whole time”

Clementine shrugged. Sophie led her to a bars gate on the wall opposite to the dorms. Past it, the wall surrounded a big square of grass, with no edification other than the walls surrounding it and what looked like a greenhouse on a far corner.

“I was with this group at a motor inn when it all started, but it fell apart pretty soon”

“Oh. I’m sorry. That was… eight years ago, right?”

Clementine nodded. She couldn’t remember the name of most of those people, let alone their faces.

“Lee took care of her!” AJ intervened. “He was a man she found in her backyard one day. He took care of her”

Clementine and Sophie chuckled. She knew, by the way Sophie was looking at her, that she understood tan this man’s absence in the present day was the result of memories that were far from happy and did not need to be recalled in the moment. She left her questions unasked.

“What about your parents?” Sophie asked as she unlocked the door.

Clementine’s smile fell.

“They died in the beginning. I didn’t even get to say goodbye”

There was a moment of silence.

“I know what it’s like” Sophie muttered. She as struggling with the old, rusty lock. “My parents died on a car crash when we were eight. That’ how we ended up here”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“We?”

“My sister and I. Minerva. We’re twins”

“What happened to her?”

The door suddenly slammed open, the metal rattling as it hit the wall.

The sound startled AJ. He gave a jump away from Sophie.

Sophie walked through the open door, without checking if Clementine or AJ were following her.

“She… Uh…” She hesitated. “She’s not around anymore”

The area surrounded by the wall was bigger than Clementine had thought. It was as big as the space of the main yard and the admin building combined, with tall grass and bushes growing around, even a couple of small trees. The greenhouse stood at the corner, about seventy feet away from them. A tall fence started at one of its wall and it drew a big square that took about a third of the whole space, giving a ninety degrees turn towards the wall instead of ending at the admin building. Inside the fence, there were three adult horses and a baby one.

“I can’t believe you have horses” Clementine said with a smile. She hadn’t seen horses in years.

“They’re pretty, aren’t they?” Sophie agreed. “I always wanted a pony when I was little. Guess I finally got one” She made kissy noises to get a horses’ attention. One of them trotted up to her, and she petted its muzzle. “Come on. Help me feed them”

She walked towards the greenhouse, with Clementine following close behind. When she didn’t hear the familiar sound of AJ walking next to her, she turned around to find him observing a horse, paralyzed on his place.

“Do you like the horses, Goofball?” She asked him.

AJ took his time to answer.

“Can you eat horses?” He asked.

Clementine blinked.

“What?”

“I mean, if we ever get hungry. Can we eat horses?”

Clementine shook her head.

“I don’t think they’d want us eating their animals, AJ”

“Why do they keep them if they’re not going to eat them later?”

Clementine gestured to him to follow her towards the greenhouse.

“Some animals can be used for other things to. Horses are fast and strong, and you can ride them if you need to go somewhere quickly, or if you don’t want to get tired”

“…So the horse walks for you?”

“Yeah, basically”

She reached the greenhouse and held the door open for him.

“I’d like to ride a horse some day. I don’t want my feet to bled again”

Clementine tried to force a smile.

“That’s not going to happen again. I promise”

AJ finally followed her inside the greenhouse. It seemed bigger from inside than from the outside. It was warm, dirty and badly lit, and there was a series of big pots with plants hanging from the roof, on the ground and on the tables. Several shelves with gardening equipment, fertilizer and yet again more pots with plants stood by the walls.

“We’ve been trying to grow food outside the greenhouse as well, but they never survive the winter” Sophie explained. “Except for the potatoes, but I’m sick of potatoes”

“You grow your own food?” AJ asked in awe.

Sophie nodded.

“We do. We have mostly potatoes, tomatoes, a shit ton of herbs and berries… one of the trees outside is a baby peach tree, I think, but it hasn’t given us any peaches yet. And we’re trying to grow wheat to make flour. There’s also carrots, onions, beans, mushrooms, and we’ve recently managed to grow some lettuce”

Clementine looked around in admiration. She could barely recognize any of the plants, but the idea of not having to hunt, of having so much variety of food, being not only able to eat every day, but to choose what to eat and to actually enjoy it…

Her stomach growled. She still hadn’t eaten and she was already starting to get weak.

“Oh! Sorry” Sophie said “We should have had something ready for you once you woke up”

It took Clementine a moment to realize she was talking about food.

“I’m okay” She lied.

“Look, Omar’s still cooking for tonight, but you… uh…” Sophie looked around. “We don’t have a lot of things you could eat right now. Do you think you could wait?”

“We can wait. It’s alright”

“Good. Until then, I need help feeding the horses”

There were bags of hay on the corner, and Sophie, Clementine and AJ carried them outside, with some difficulty.

“The grass is not enough” Sophie explained. “This probably isn’t enough, either. But it’s better than just the grass”

The horses gathered around pretty quickly upon seeing he bags of hay. Sophie picked some from the bag and held it for them to eat, over the fence.

“I don’t think I can feed a horse” AJ said. “I’m too short for that”

“You can just watch if you want” Sophie reassured him.

“You have horses, plants… How did you do it?” Clementine asked, picking some of the hay herself.

Sophie Smiled and petted one of the horses’ head.

“Mostly trading with this one community. We were in such a bad state before we found them, but they’ve been life savers, I swear to God. They provide seeds, fertilizer, guns, bullets, medicine, some horses, and in exchange we…”

She shook her head, as if it didn’t matter.

“Clem, I brought you here because I wanted to talk about something without anyone freaking out” She started. “This man you say you saw…”

“What about him?”

Sophie sighed. She was looking at AJ, making sure he was distracted enough watching the horses feet away not to listen to their conversation. Clementine knew very well he was probably eavesdropping anyways, but she wasn’t about to stop him.

“Did he talk about… any other group? Besides his own. Another community, or…?”

Clementine took a moment to recall the interaction. She reached a hand and scratched a horse’s mane. It reminded her of her time looking for AJ on horseback.

“He did ask me if I had friends living nearby”

“…Fuck” Sophie muttered. “Just that? Did he say anything about a… a conflict or…?”

“No…?” Clementine shook her head. “He just asked me if I was with anyone and… Then he tried to convince me to join his group. With a gun. He said they could ‘use someone like me’. I didn’t think much of it”

“And what did he look like?”

Clementine couldn’t remember much, besides the man being tall and thin, and his strange eyes.

“His eyes were different” She said. “They had different colors”

Sophie rubbed her face.

“Shit. You kidding, right?” Sophie said. “Fuck. Fuck. And this was at the train station?”

“…Yes” Clementine replied. And taking a shot in the dark, she asked: “…You have history with him, right?”

“We… Fuck. It’s not like there’s a point in denying it” She paced around, her arms dropping to her sides before crossing over her chest again. “Yes. I know him. His name is Abel. I hate his guts”

“What did he do?”

Sophie opened her mouth to say something, but then another sound interrupted her.

“Sophie!” A loud voice called. “They’re here! They need help!”

“Shit” She muttered. “Come on. I could use a hand”

She ran off before she could get another word out. Clementine looked at AJ.

“So his name is Abel” AJ said.

“You’ve been listening?”

He nodded.

“Good” Clementine said. “Now, come on. We’ll talk about it later”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two was originally going to be far longer, but I divided it into chapters Three and Four, because it seriously got way too long. I hope the final result is not as bad as I feared.
> 
> Chapter Three: "Earth", will be posted on June 21th, 2019.


	4. "Earth"

_“I dig 'til my shovel tells a secret,_  
_Swear to the earth that I will keep it,_  
_Brush off the dirt_  
_And let my change of heart occur._

 _Sold soon after the appraisal,_  
_The hammer struck the auction table_  
_Louder than anything I've ever Heard”_

–“[Earth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGWtF1AttTw)”, by Sleeping At Last

Δ

They ran side by side through the grass, until they reached the bars gate and the main yard.  Louis and Sophie were there, but Brody and Ruby were not around. Neither were the younger boys. Aasim was still on the watch tower, shooting arrows into the darkness of the dusk.

“Marlon, get your ass over here!” A new masculine voice yelled somewhere behind the wall.

“Shit” Clementine muttered. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, nothing” Louis said with a smile. “Just some human eating monsters trying to eat our friends. No big deal”

“Louis, not the time” Sophie warned him. “Did you give her the knife back?”

“Nope!” He replied. He reached into his pocket with incredible calm and handed her her own hunting knife. They had taken it from her and she hadn’t even noticed. “Wanna come help us kick walker ass? We could use some ass kicking over here”

“Can I go?” AJ asked. It wasn’t until that moment that Clementine realized they hadn’t given him his gun back.

“I need you to watch my back on this one” Clementine told him, kneeling to his level. “We’re a team, right?”

AJ nodded.

“Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll watch your back”

“Aasim!” Sophie yelled. “Can you see them?”

“Uh… Yeah!” he said. He tensed his bow and aimed at arrow at _somewhere_ , but he didn’t loose. “Yeah, they’re by the traps”

“How many walkers?”

“Shit. Ten? Fifteen? I don’t know”

“Fuck. Okay” Sophie turned to Louis and Clementine. She had picked up a machete at some point. “Everyone ready?”

“Yup!” Louis said. He gripped his weapon, some wooden object with nails dug on it. “Ready as I’ll ever be”

“Good. Don’t use guns unless you have to. We don’t want to attract more to us” She commanded. “And Louis… Don’t you dare die today. We need to talk about something later”

“…Yeah, that’s not really inspiring me to stay alive right now”

Sophie gave him a death glare. Somewhere behind the wall, there was some grunting and panting.

“Okay! Okay. I get it, boss. I won’t die” Louis promised. “Against my better judgment” he added under his breath.

She opened the gates.

“Aasim! Watch out backs!”

“Sure thing!”

The three of them advanced into the darkness. Fifty or so feet away Clementine could see a torch lighting the night, held by a boy with a knife. He had what looked like a dead animal over his shoulder. The other boy had a compound bow, and was shooting at the walkers following them.

“Sophie! You took your time!” One of the boys said trotting up to her.

“Shut up, Mitch!” She chided. A walker lunged towards her, but she hit it the head with her machete, almost missing but killing it instantly. “Sorry. Go. We got this”

“Who is she?” The other boy asked the one with the bow and that horrible blond mullet. Like the other boy, he had a dead animal hanging from his shoulder. Clementine realized he was talking about her.

“For fuck’s sake, Marlon, I don’t have time for your bullshit” Sophie said, shifting into an oddly angry attitude.

The walkers were approaching them. Clementine gripped her knife tightly and kicked the nearest one on the knee. It tripped and fell and she didn’t hesitate to end it. She went for the next one.

“Get inside. We’ll take care of this” Sophie said.

“But…”

“Don’t make me say it twice”

The guy, Marlon, looked at her with such fear Clementine thought he might not be able to follow her order, but he turned around and ran towards the safety of the gates.

The other boy was about to follow him, but then Sophie placed a hand on his arm.

“Not you, Mitch” She said. “Help us clear this up”

Louis swung his weapon like a baseball bat, hitting two walkers at once. Only one died, the other one simply falling to the ground, and Clementine rushed to step on its head before it could grab him, but then Louis picked a small knife from his pocket and sliced a vertical rope by a tree that Clementine hadn’t even seen. Next thing she knew, a big rock was falling on the walker’s head, crushing it completely.

“Ha! Have that, person eater!” He exclaimed. He looked at Clementine “We have traps all over the place” he explained. “In case you wanted to do things with a bit more of… elegance”

Clementine shook her head, but she couldn’t hide her smile.

She rushed to the next walker, stabbing it through the throat and to the brain. It fell dead to her feet.

“Elegance? Are you serious?”

“Just because it’s the apocalypse and all it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve nice things” He swung his weapon again, completely missing the walker he was intending to kill. “Dammit”

“Louis!” Sophie called. “Are you done showing off!”

“I’m never done showing off, Soph!” He kicked the walker and stepped on its head.

Sophie was, surprisingly, quite clumsy. She brandished her machete without much skill and tripped over her own feet. Her weapon blindly sliced a walker’s shoulder, completely missing its head, and she had to kick it off to the ground and stab him again once it was immobilized.

Clementine made a mental note to stay close to her, just in case.

A walker lunged to her, only to be violently smashed against a tree by a giant log. She caught Louis grinning at her from the distance.

“Not bad, uh?” Louis said smugly, gesturing to his trap.

The walker was wounded, but still alive. Clementine stabbed it through the eye socket.

“Not bad, I guess”

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m not the one who didn’t die when he was supposed to” He absently poked the walker with his strange weapon, hanging several inches above from the ground. “Unlike _someone_ here”

Clementine looked at the weapon he used, trying to decipher what it was.

“This? It’s a chair leg” Louis explained, reading her expression. “I call it Chairles”

Clementine didn’t really know how to answer to that, so she raised an eyebrow and looked around, searching for the others. Sophie was still around, barely fighting off the walkers. Mitch and Marlon were closer to the gates, and Clementine noticed with a drop of the stomach how many walkers there were surrounding them. How did they get so far?

She gestured to Sophie with her head.

“You go” She told Louis. “I’ll help them with the walkers”

Louis first looked at his friends, then at Sophie, and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Cool. I can do that” He said before running off on Sophie’s direction.

Clementine didn’t look back and sprinted towards Mitch and Marlon.

A walker tried to grab her, but she kicked it to the ground. She was about to step on its skull when an arrow suddenly pierced it. She looked up to see Aasim in the watch tower, holding his bow.

He was still glaring at her, but Clementine was thankful he didn’t hate her enough to let her die.

Marlon and Mitch had dropped the dead animals and the torch and were fighting off the walkers to the best of their abilities. There must have be at least ten of them. Marlon had the compound bow, but it wasn’t very useful from so close, and Mitch had only a knife. One of the walkers took a hold of his arm and yanked it up to its mouth, but he grabbed it by the neck and put the knife through its empty eye socket. The monster fell dead.

Clementine grabbed one of the short ones from behind and dug her knife on its head. She threw its dead weight away.

“You guys okay?!” She asked.

“We got this—fuck!” Marlon cursed. He hit one of the walkers on the head with his bow, but it didn’t do much besides pushing it away for a moment, before it tried to get a bite at him again.

Clementine rushed forward and stabbed the monster dead.

A rock dropped from a high branch on a tree and crushed another one. It had triggered one of the traps.

“See?” Marlon gestured at the dead walkers. “Now, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“Mitch!” Aasim called. He shot an arrow at a walker, missing by a couple feet. “Get inside now!”

Mitch didn’t have to be told twice. He picked up the dead animals and ran towards the gates, closing them behind himself.

“Hey!” Marlon complained.

“We’ll open them again once you get rid of them!” Aasim pointed at something behind them. Clementine and Marlon turned around to see at least a dozen walkers approaching them, Sophie and Louis running towards them.

“Shit!” Sophie muttered. “We need to get this done”

“Excuse me, did I hear that right?” Louis asked, incredulous.

“Do you have a better plan?” Sophie insisted. “Do you want them attracting more? Revealing our—?”

“What I want is not to die, thank you” He said calmly. “We can shoot them from inside! There are traps and—”

“And!” Sophie continued. “And I need to tell you something later, and we _can’t_ let them drag attention to us right now, Louis”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Marlon asked.

“None of your fucking business” Sophie said through gritted teeth, not looking at him. Instead, she looked at the small herd approaching them.

Clementine knew how herds worked. Two or three walkers wandered around together, and like mindless animals, other walkers followed them, and more and more summed up with time and soon you’d find yourself surrounded by up to hundreds of monsters. One dozen would soon turn into two, and three, and walkers followed people. And if this man, Abel, was such a big threat to kids, if he was so close and if he was looking for them…

“You’re right” Clementine agreed. “We can’t take the risk”

“You two are insane!” Louis complained. “Like, legit crazy. Was the car crash really that bad?”

“Marlon?” Clementine asked the other guy.

“Sophie’s right” He stated. Sophie still didn’t look at him.

“Ah, fuck” Louis mumbled. “I’m not getting out of this one, am I?”

Marlon loaded his bow and fired an arrow, hitting the nearest walker dead on in the center of its forehead. Sophie gripped her machete nervously. It was obvious she wasn’t confident in her fighting skills, but she still took a step forward, putting herself in first line of defense, in front of Louis, Marlon and Clementine.

She gave the first strike, hitting the walker on its neck, and Louis had to stab it with his knife. Clementine pushed away the walker trying to grab at him and threw it to the ground. She crushed its skull under her boot.

Louis swung Chairles above her head at some point, hitting the walker reaching out for her. A rotten hand gripped her left ankle. She pushed her leg forward, bringing the walker closer to effectively kill it.

Arrows fired by Aasim and Marlon flew over her head. She turned around to find someone new shooting at the walkers from the watch tower as well. The walker going for her fell dead before it could even touch her.

A hand grabbed Sophie’s ponytail. She let out a yelp and blindly swung her machete until the arm was detached from the body, hanging from her with its fingers still on her head. She ripped it off and stupidly threw it at a walker. It distracted it long enough for Marlon to put an arrow on its head.

Suddenly, Louis let out a pained yelp. Clementine jolted and turned around. Her stomach dropped when she saw his hand on his stomach, blood flowing at an alarming pace.

“Louis…?” Clementine asked.

“It’s not a bite!” He rushed to say. He whimpered and took a step behind. “Sophie! What the fuck!”

Sophie looked at him. Her face was suddenly contorted with guilt.

“Oh, no, no” She mumbled. “Fuck”

The hot and heavy smell of death filled the air. Somewhere behind the gates, AJ yelled Clementine’s name. She took a step behind, backing up towards the gates. A walker grabbed her from behind, but she jerked her arm and killed it before it could get a bite of her.

Another step. The gates were closer. Louis dropped Chairles.

“Clem!” AJ cried.

“Sophie, get inside!” Aasim yelled. “Louis is hurt!”

Sophie put an arm around Louis and helped him closer to the gates.

“I’m sorry!” She whimpered.

Marlon gave Louis a worried look, and Louis forced a smile. A walker growled.

Clementine grabbed Chairles and swung it to hit the walker.

It didn’t feel like there were fewer walkers. It looked like every time one fell, two more raised. Her muscles ached and her vision blurred slightly from the lack of foods and sleep. She was pushing her body beyond its limits.

She forced the chair leg up and charged against another walker. Marlon fired another arrow.

They kept retreating back to the gates. It was only about sixty feet away now.

Sophie was next to them again. Her hands and clothes were stained in blood. She wielded her machete clumsily and inexpertly, and she was shaking from head to toe. She still stood tall, ready to fight.

Blood and flesh flew as the fight continued. With every step they took towards the gates Clementine felt more and more exhausted. She repeated her old technique over and over again: kick to the knee, knife to the head. Marlon had run out of arrows, and neither Aasim nor the new archer were as good of a shot as he was.

“Sophie!” Aasim yelled again.

Sophie and Clementine exchanged a look and made a silent agreement.

They turned around and ran, leaving the walkers behind. Fewer arrows were being fired now, as Aasim seemed to have run out of them and the new archer was the only one left.

Clementine ran as fast as her legs allowed her to, even though her muscles burned and screamed at her to stop.

There was a scream. AJ yelled something at her she didn’t get to hear.

Marlon fell to the ground. A walker held his ankle with a death grip and pulled him behind. He tried to reach for his bow, but it was too far. The monster got on top of him. He held it away by the shoulders with shaking, exhausted arms.

Sophie stopped and turned around. She silently stared at the scene before her, without moving an inch. And Clementine stared at her with a mix of fear, confusion and anger.

She wasn’t going to help him.

Then, Sophie turned around and sprinted away, the gates closing after her. Leaving Marlon behind.

Without thinking twice, Clementine gripped her knife tighter and ran in Marlon’s direction. She raised her blade and dug it deep into the walker’s brain. Blood and decaying matter splashed all over him as he panted and pushed the body off himself.

Clementine took in a ragged breath and looked around, her hands shaking and her eyes watering with frustration at the idea of fighting more.

There were none.

No, no more walkers. They had killed them all.

Bodies piled up in the hundred feet area around the school’s gates. Brown blood, rotten flesh and torn clothes were scattered around in the forest, along with used traps and an infinite amount of arrows.

She breathed in, breathed out.

They had made it.

She offered a hand to Marlon.

“You okay?” She asked.

“Agh, yeah” He said, taking her hand and propping himself up. He looked around with pride. “We did it, uh?”

Clementine didn’t reply. She was too tired to speak.

“Clem!” A voice called her. It was Brody. “Oh, God”

Clementine and Marlon tiredly walked towards the gates, once again. Marlon didn’t look angry or scared, even though he had literally seen the leader of his group abandoning him to die.

White hot anger suddenly invaded her.

Sophie had left a member of her own group to die.

They opened the doors again for them. Clementine could have passed out right there, on the ground, but AJ rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I was so scared!” He squeaked. “I thought you would—!”

“Hey, Hey. I’m okay. See?” She got down to his level and gripped his shoulders. “I’m alright”

He nodded shakily.

“Did Louis get bitten?” He asked.

“I don’t think so” She replied. “I think Sophie cut him on accident”

“Oh. Good. I thought he was bitten”

The doors were locked with a metallic sound, and finally, silence and the soft murmur of the wind brushing the tree leaves reined the main yard.

“Are you alright?” A voice asked. Clementine looked up to see Ruby standing next to her.

“No bites, if that’s what you mean” Clementine replied, trying to sound as friendly as possible. She didn’t want to get on Ruby’s bad side right now.

“That’s good to hear” Ruby said with a smile. She seemed to be in a much better mood than before, and Clementine was thankful for that.

“What about everyone else?” She asked.

“Is Louis okay?” AJ added.

“He’s alright. It was just a scratch” Ruby explained. “Sophie is not our most skilled fighter”

“Do tell” Clementine muttered. “Or the most caring leader, it seems”

Ruby took a step back and crossed her arms, a clear defensive stance.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“She left Marlon to die” Clementine explained. “Didn’t you see?”

Ruby’s expression shifted from confused to offended in a millisecond.

“How dare you!?” She demanded. “You know nothing about her, or Marlon, or what he did to her!”

“Is it worth abandoning someone?” Clementine asked, her anger slowly giving way to intrigue and a hint of embarrassment she tried to hide. What if it _was_ worth abandoning him?

“You’re no one to judge her” Ruby insisted. “If only you knew…”

She walked away without another word, and Clementine and AJ were left alone in the yard again.

Δ

“Clem?”

“Yeah?”

“Who do you think the community is?”

Clementine turned around to look at AJ, who sitting in the bed opposite to Clementine’s, in the bedroom Sophie had assigned them.

“What community?” Clementine asked.

“The community Sophie was talking about. The one that gave them the horses”

Clementine shrugged. She had been inspecting the bookshelf, trying to fix one of the fallen shelves and inspecting the three books on the top one. One of them was about psychology, one about geography and one about history, neither of which were of her interest, but she guessed they’d be good to help with AJ’s reading.

“I don’t know” Clementine told him. “I don’t know _all_ of the communities out there”

“Yeah, but… You’ve seen a lot of communities”

“A lot of those communities are not around anymore, Goofball”

AJ frowned, but didn’t ask Clementine not to call him that.

“And…” He got up and paced around in the room nervously. “What do you think Marlon did to Sophie?”

Clementine sighed. Ruby’s words had been playing in her head for the last two hours, stuck I repeat like a broken record. Even when they visited Louis on AJ’s request, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it only added more questions than answers.

Louis had been lying on a bed of the old infirmary, shirtless and with his stomach wrapped in bandages. He was all skin and bones, but he didn’t look in bad state. The wound had, in fact, been ‘just a scratch’, or as much of a scratch for Louis to stay in a good enough mood to make jokes.

“Hey there, little man” he had greeted AJ when he saw him come to visit him alongside with Clementine. He looked at her “…And hello to you too”

Clementine had smiled at him.

“How’s the wound?” She had asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing” he’d reassured her. “I have experience a _way worse_ agony by eating cantaloupe. I’d say it’s a three out of then”

They’d talked a bit, AJ narrating Clementine’s battle, embellished with detail and emotion and his spotless acting as he recreated the events. Louis and Clementine laughed at him, even though Ruby tried to kick them out when she came in. Louis had insisted that they stayed a bit longer.

“I’m dying, Ruby. Dying. You understand that?” He had said melodramatically. “I need someone to lighted up the mood, and they just happen to do the trick”

He winked at Clementine. She didn’t want to admit it, but all tall and skinny as he was, Louis was a bit attractive. She looked away and hoped she wasn’t blushing.

“Hey, Clem” He had said at some point, propping himself up with his elbows. Ruby had told him not to sit or stand up, but he seemed to consider her orders with quite some flexibility. “Ruby told me what you did”

She had raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“You saved Marlon. Even when Sophie left him… You could have just followed her, but you went back for him”

“I didn’t think it was right” She explained. “To abandon someone like that, I mean”

“Yeah” Louis agreed. “Yeah, abandoning people is not cool. Fuck” He let himself fall back on the bed again. “I know he did bad stuff, but… He’s still my best friend. I _need_ him. Hell, I don’t know what I’d do without him” He rubbed his face. “So, thank you for saving him”

“Clem always says murder is bad” AJ said as an explanation for her behavior.

Louis chuckled.

“It sure is, little man” He agreed.

“Louis…” Clementine sat down on the bed by his feet, careful not to touch him so she wouldn’t hurt him worse. “What happened between Marlon and Sophie?”

Louis smile suddenly fell and was quickly replaced by an expression of confusion.

“Wait, she didn’t tell you?”

Clementine shook her head.

“Tell me what?”

Louis opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before speaking again.

“Wait, I had a talk with her about this” he said. “I think… She wants to tell you herself. Later. I think”

“We won’t tell her you told us!” AJ insisted. “Could you please tell us?”

Louis chuckled again, but this time it was clearly forced.

“I’d love to tell you our darkest and deepest secrets, I really do!” He said. “…But I’m too scared of Sophie to do so. Maybe some other time”

They had left around half an hour later, empty handed and more intrigued than before.

Clementine had her theories, but they were all over the place. They ranged from theft through sexual assault, to a scene similar to the one she saw in the woods, Marlon leaving Sophie to be devoured by walkers.

“I think…” she begun. “Sophie is clearly angry at Marlon”

AJ nodded.

“Everyone is angry at Marlon. Except for Louis, but he doesn’t count because they’re best friends”

“They are. That means, what he did must have hurt everyone”

AJ kept pacing around the room, as if he were walking among a web of interconnected thoughts, ideas and theories and he were observing each one of them with a different perspective with every step he took.

“Well, Sophie clearly was the one who got hurt the worst” she thought about it in silence for a moment. “It almost feels as if the rest are angry at Marlon out of sympathy for Sophie”

“Sympathy?” AJ asked. He kneeled by the backpack lying against the desk. Sophie had given it back to them after the fight, but they hadn’t checked everything was still there yet.

“It means…” She tried to figure out a way to explain it to him. “It means you take the same stance as someone else because you care about what happens to that person, even if it doesn’t really affect you. Kind of”

“Oh” AJ said. He grabbed something from inside the backpack. “Clem! Your hat!”

Clementine immediately looked up and grinned at the sight of her old, worn out hat in AJ’s hand. She was glad to see it wasn’t gone after all.

“Thank God they bothered to grab it” She said as she took it from AJ’s hand and put it back on her head. It was a bit difficult due to the bandages still wrapped around it, but she managed. “Thanks”

“You’re welcome” AJ beamed. His smile quickly fell. “Clem...?” he started. “I don’t think Marlon wanted to hurt Sophie”

“That’s a possibility” Clementine said as she grabbed the history book. AJ liked stories, and history was like one big story, right? “Do you want to read this later?” She asked.

AJ groaned.

“Do I have to?”

“You need to practice your reading” Clementine insisted. She opened the book to check it wasn’t inappropriate. It was about medieval Europe “Come on. I’ll read with you”

“Ugh. Okay” he accepted. “If Marlon didn’t do it on purpose, then why is Sophie angry at him?” He asked.

Clementine sighed and closed the book.

“Sometimes, you can hurt people without intending to” Clementine said. “Even trying to do the right thing. And people can get angry at you if it’s too bad. Intention doesn’t always matter, Goofball”

“So you think what Marlon did was ‘too bad’?”

“I think so”

There was a knock in the door. AJ jumped and tensed up, but Clementine put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay” she reassured him. She looked at the door. “Come in”

The door opened slowly, and Brody peaked in.

“Hey” She greeted them. “I see you’re making yourselves home. That’s nice”

“It’s the best bedroom I’ve ever had” Clementine said.

“It has so many beds!” AJ added.

Brody smiled. She seemed a lot calmer than she had been earlier.

“I’m glad you like it” She said. “Omar sent me to get you. Dinner’s ready”

Δ

They had rearranged the picnic tables (three of them, Clementine counted) so that they made one long table in which everyone could sit together.

Marlon was not eating with the rest, it seemed. He had taken his role as an outcast of society very seriously and was eating alone in the admin building. He gave Clementine one sad look as he walked inside with his bowl in hand. She didn’t know whether to feel pity or disgust. She wondered if it was a common occurrence for him to eat alone or if he had decided to stay away from the group in light of the recent events.

The sun had set hours ago, and the yard was only light by the half moon and by the candles in the picnic tables.

A boy she hadn’t seen before was filling everyone’s bowl with something that looked like soup (his name was Omar, Brody explained). Clementine licked her lips at the thought of finally, _finally_ getting some food. She was so desperate, she almost dropped her bowl when Omar handed it to her, hot and full of the first cooked meal she had seen in years.

She sat beside AJ, with Brody next to her. Brody quickly forgot about her as soon as Sophie took her seat in front of her, and they started talking enthusiastically and calling each other pet names, like two idiots in love.

Clementine didn’t know how to feel about Sophie.

In one hand, the residual anger at the thought of the leader, the one who was supposed to protect the group, abandoning one of her own still remained, but it was stirred and washed out by the intrigue and the embarrassment of having made a quick assumption without knowing the full story.

And besides, it wasn’t as Clementine had never killed anyone before. As if she had never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. Who was she to judge?

She tried to avoid murder these days, though. For AJ.

AJ didn’t bother picking up the spoon. He drank his soup straight out of the bowl, without taking a moment to breathe between sips. He finished in less than a minute.

“You have something in your face” Someone said before Clementine got the chance to scold him. It was the boy Clementine had seen drawing at the picnic tables before. He was sitting beside AJ. He must be at least twice as old as AJ was, and when he turned his head to look at them, Clementine noticed to her horror a white, angry burn mark on the side of his head. “Here” he offered AJ a cloth for him to wipe the soup that had spilled on his cheeks.

“Thank you” AJ said as he picked the cloth and cleaned the food off himself. “My name is AJ” he introduced himself.

“I’m Tenn” the boy replied.

Clementine caught a head twitching through the corner of her eye, but she didn’t need to turn around to see Sophie observing her, with her head low, looking almost embarrassed.

“I heard you helped fight the walkers” Tenn suddenly said. It took Clementine a second to realize he was talking to her.

“I did” Clementine replied.

“Thank you” Tenn said with a genuine smile. “It was really nice of you” He looked at Clementine’s almost empty bowl of soup. “Do you like the food?” He asked.

“It’s the best food I’ve ever had” Clementine said. Truth was, she couldn’t remember ever eating anything that good. Warmth and strength returned to her body with every sip.

“Uh. Glad to see someone here appreciates my food” The other guy, Omar said.

“She’s just hungry” Aasim said bitterly.

“Of course she is!” AJ protested. “She hasn’t eaten in four days!”

Clementine almost wished he hadn’t said that. She didn’t want them to pity her.

“It’s a good thing we found you today” Sophie said. Her voice was weak and almost timid. Clementine paid extra attention to her words, trying to decipher what she was thinking about. “I don’t know what we’d have done if… you know” she forced a smile. She was talking about Abel. “There were a lot of walkers out there. Who know what could have happened”

Clementine was tempted to ask right there and then what the deal with Marlon was, but she considered that, if it was something so serious Sophie didn’t want Louis to discuss with her, her best chance at getting on Sophie’s good side wouldn’t be to ask her publically, in front of all the other kids. Rather, she’d wait until Sophie was ready to tell her, and maybe then she’d open up enough for them to discuss the Abel issue.

Thankfully, AJ spoke before she had to say anything herself.

“Can I have some more?” He lifted his bowl sadly.

Omar shook his head.

“That’s all we had. Sorry”

AJ looked down in disappointment.

“Here. Have this” Clementine gave him her bowl. It was almost empty, but every sip counted.

Sophie’s eyes soon diverted away from her.

Clementine looked around the table. She knew most of the people at the table: Aasim and Ruby were sitting next to each other, gossiping in a low voice and occasionally laughing. They looked a lot less angry when it came to each other. Omar was sitting at the end of the table, talking to Tenn about something Tenn didn’t seem interested in. And the boy with the bow that had helped her once the rest had run out of arrows was a kid that vaguely reminded her of a scarecrow (his name was Willy, she would later learn), with dirty dry hair and long arms. He was sitting next to Mitch, listening to what he had to say.  He was looking at him in a way that resembled the way AJ looked at Clementine herself whenever she talked to him about her adventures before he could remember, embellished and decorated with shadow shows against a tree trunk or photographs of the past she could manage to find for him.

Marlon wasn’t the only one missing.

“Where’s Louis?” Clementine asked. The question wasn’t directed to anyone in particular.

“He already ate” Ruby explained. “He’s not supposed to get out of bed”

“God, this is embarrassing” Sophie muttered, dropping her head on the table. Brody snorted at her gesture.

“No offense” Aasim started. “But you shouldn’t be allowed to hold a weapon ever again”

“Come on! Don’t be mean” Brody protested. She took her girlfriend’s hand. “She’s doing her best”

“I’m sure Louis will forgive you” Tenn intervened.

“He already has” Ruby said. “That’s not what he’s angry about, really”

Sophie looked down at her untouched bowl of soup, absently stirring it with her spoon. She was biting her lip and avoiding other people’s eyes, as if she were ashamed of something.

“So, Clem” Brody suddenly said. “You’re staying the night, right?”

Clementine looked at her.

“I was hoping you’d let me stay for a bit. Until we’re ready to leave, at least” She replied. She didn’t tell her she was desperately praying to gods she didn’t believe in that they let her stay, that they didn’t expect her to go live in the road again. She didn’t want to raise AJ on the run, without any other people but with herself. He didn’t deserve a life of fear and starvation.

Sophie finally raised her head a bit.

“You want to leave?” She asked in a low voice. “I mean, it’s perfectly fine if you do! What I’m trying to say is… you don’t have to” She looked at the rest of the kids at the table. “Right, guys?”

“You’re welcome to stay if you want, Clem” Brody said with a smile.

“Sophie” Aasim muttered. “We need to be careful”

“And I’m being careful, Aasim” Sophie insisted. She looked at Clementine again. “What… um… what about this? We’ll give you a sort of… trial period? Yes, a trial period, if that makes you guys feel safer” She was talking to her friends. “And… we’ll evaluate whether you can stay or not. But don’t worry! I’m pretty sure you’ll pass the test” She gave her a weak smile. She was feeling bad about something. Not something that was Clementine’s fault, probably, and Clementine felt a little glad that was the case, but the mystery remained.

She exchanged a look with AJ. She could not express with words the relief she felt at the thought, the possibility of having somewhere to stay. The dream of not living in the road had been only a dream for her, with no plan, no goal, just moving and making time, almost waiting for something. And maybe, she childishly thought, she could find a home in that school, among those people.

Yeah, a home would be nice.

“We won’t disappoint you” She said to Sophie.

Sophie smiled.

“I know you won’t”

Around half an hour later, they picked up their empty bowls and took them inside the admin building, where they would keep them until they’d get a chance to wash them.

Louis was pretty much not in bed. Instead, he was sitting next to Marlon, on the steps of the big stairs that led to the second floor. They were talking and laughing, their bowls mostly untouched.

Sophie and Louis exchanged a long look, but didn’t say a word. She left her bowl on one of the tables in the main hall and walked up the stairs, careful not to accidentally touch either of the boys.

A flicker of sadness and shame crossed Louis’ face, before being replaced by a wide plastic smile as he waved Clementine and AJ.

Clementine and AJ exchanged a look. They were thinking the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is June 21th! You know, that means it's the beginning of winter in the southern hemisphere! And in my province that marks the Longest Night so, happy Longest Night! I'm on vacations now but I can't wait to go home and write Act II. 
> 
> By this time, you must be wondering: when the hell does Violet show up?
> 
> And the answer is: Chapter Eight. Chapter Seven if you squint.
> 
> (Man, I worry I'm making Sophie "too perfect". I mean, her flaws become more visible in the next Acts, but until then I worry she's coming off as too much of a Marie Sue or whatever)
> 
> Chapter Four, "Radio War", will be posted on June 26th, 2019.


	5. Radio War

_“Now we lie on the floor_  
_While the radio war_  
_Finds its way through the air_  
_Of the dead market square_

_And the beast never seen_  
_Licks its red talons clean_  
_Sara curses the cold_  
_‘No more snow, no more snow, no more snow’"_

–“[Radio War](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uja-N8vfX44)”, by Iron and Wine 

 Δ 

Once they were back at their bedroom and Clementine placed the lit candle on the nightstand, the first thing AJ said is:

“Does that mean we can stay?”

He gave her a big toothy grin. God, he was adorable. Clementine wished she was strong so she could pick him up and spin him around.

Now that she had a moment alone with AJ to breathe, it hit her all at once. Sophie and Brody’s words. The acceptance. The almost promise of a home, for her and for AJ and for his future.

She felt tears pricking her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy.

“I think so!” She told him. She kneeled to be at his height. “But remember what Sophie said—we’re on trial period. We need to behave until they’re sure they can let us stay”

“What should we do?” AJ asked. “So we can stay, I mean”

“Well, for starters, not biting people”

AJ looked down.

“I said I’m sorry”

“I know. Just don’t do it again”

She stood up. AJ wandered around the room. He touched the bed curiously, kneeled to check what was under it, removed the covers and put them back again.

“There are not walkers under the bed, Goofball” Clementine reassured him.

“I know” AJ said. “How would a walker get under the bed? We would hear it”

The food had helped a lot, but Clementine still felt weak and exhausted. She took off her hat, her boots and her jacket, hanging it on the chair by the desk. She was left with only her pants and her old, short-sleeved t-shirt that once used to be white. Her scars, the large dog bite and the New Frontier brand, were both out to the cold air of the room. She wondered if the kids had means to wash their clothes. They did look quite clean, compared to AJ and herself.

AJ curiously opened the drawers beneath the window. Most of them were empty, but the first one had a roll of gauze and some other random items. Clementine took the chance to change her bloody bandages for clean ones.

“Clem…?” AJ asked, taking something from inside the drawer. It looked like a photo album. “What is this?”

Clementine took it from his hands and sat down on her bed. It read ‘Memories’ on the cover. The pages were yellow and fragile, and mostly empty besides the few Polaroid photos and other badly printed pictures held to them by thin strips of tape.

“It’s a photo album” Clementine explained as AJ took a seat beside her. “Back when we had cameras, people would take photos, print them and put them on these”

“Why did they do that?” AJ asked. He flipped one of the empty pages to reveal another yellow empty page.

“Because… they wanted to keep these memories safe” Clementine said. She wondered for a minute if she was being intrusive by exploring such a personal part of the kid’s past—because the people in the pictures were most certainly the kids, and she could even recognize some of them. There was a picture of a tiny seven-years-old Ruby angrily looking at the ground, and another one of a redhead kid-- probably Sophie—talking to a small blonde girl. She couldn’t recognize the rest.

Then, she flipped one of the pages. There were only three photos. On the right page, there were two identical girls, with long red hair, each holding a fish they had apparently just caught. The other one showed the same girls with a toddler boy who looked nothing like them. The words ‘Family’, ‘Siblings’ and ‘Memories’ were scribbled on the page.

“Is this Sophie?” AJ asked.

Clementine stared at the pictures for a long moment. She brought it closer to the candle to get a better look.

“She does look like Sophie”

“The boy looks like Tenn” He pointed out. “Are they siblings?”

“I think so” Clementine agreed with a smile. “Just like you and me”

AJ grabbed the album.

“Who is the other girl? Why does she look like Sophie?”

Clementine’s smile dropped.

“Sophie must have had a twin” She explained.

“What’s a twin?” AJ asked.

“A twin is… a sibling that looks just like you” Clementine said. “When moms get pregnant, they usually have only one baby at the time. But sometimes they have two at the same time, and then the two babies look the same”

“And they’re called twins when that happens, right?”

“Right”

The rest could go unsaid. Sophie had a twin. A sister. Her sister wasn’t around anymore, which must mean she was dead. End of story.

AJ frowned looking at the third photo, on the left page. It showed Sophie, her twin sister, and a girl Clementine recognized from one of the previous photos. She was blonde and considerably shorter than the twins. Below the photo, the letters B.F.F.s were written.

“What does this mean?”

“It means Best Friends Forever. She must have been friend with Sophie and her sister”

“And now she’s dead” AJ stated as a matter of fact.

Clementine gave him a sad look.

“She probably is”

She closed the album and put it back inside the drawer.

“Now,” Clementine said “time to sleep, Alvin Junior”

“Ugh” AJ protested. “I don’t want to”

“I know. But it’s late and you’re tired” She blew off the candle. The moonlight that seeped through the barred window was enough to get ready for bed.

AJ groaned, but got under covers. He was visibly uncomfortable.

Clementine looked through the wooden planks that covered the window and the dirty glass. She could distinguish a hint of red (Sophie’s red hair, probably) and people walking towards the admin building.

She was suddenly aware of the silence.

AJ was still awake, of course. She had spent enough years staying awake while he slept to be able to tell by his breathing.

They were arguing. Sophie and this other person. Clementine wondered if it was Marlon. She couldn’t hear them and she could barely see them, but they stood at a careful distance and by their body language, she could tell they were angry at each other.

Then, there were footsteps.

Clementine froze. Her hand instinctively went for her knife with a rigid movement. AJ sat up in the moment.

The wood creaked in the hallway. Whoever was out there was being careful, but not enough. The steps became louder and louder, until they reached Clementine’s door. In that moment, she rushed to stand by the closet, so she wouldn’t be so exposed. AJ followed suit.

They stood in silence. AJ’s hand palmed his pocket, but he didn’t have his gun anymore. They had taken it.

They held their breaths, ready to fight off the attack. But the attack never came. The silent wanderer stood in front of their door for one long minute, and then continued their march, down the hallway.

The footsteps and the creaking softly disappeared as the person walker away.

Clementine finally allowed herself to breathe in. False alarm, it seemed.

Then, suddenly, AJ swung the door opened and ran down out of the room.

“AJ!” Clementine whispered, not wanting to wake anyone up. AJ hadn’t heard her, and instead of stopping, he turned around the corner.

Clementine took in a deep, shaky breath and tried not to let fear get the best of her. AJ was probably thinking he was doing the right thing… somehow protecting her, or making sure they were both safe. She quickly walked down the hall, careful not to make a noise. She turned around the corner, and only found the hallway door open. She gritted her teeth and followed AJ outside. Worry was starting to settle in her stomach.

The main yard was lit only by the moonlight. All the candles had been blown off already.

AJ was climbing up the steps to the main building. Clementine ran in his direction, without caring about making any sound. She was about to call him, but then he crossed the door and was devoured by the big building doors.

Clementine pushed away her worry and rushed up to the gates. She carefully opened them, and was surprised when she saw the candles in the main hall, still lit and lighting the room. AJ was running up the stairs, and Clementine opened her mouth to call him, but then thought about it again. If the candles were left lit, that must mean there were still people in the building.

So she silently followed him up the stairs with quick, stuttering steps until she reached a short, dark hallway with a pair of gates that gave to an unknown room.

AJ was there, and so was their secret observer.

It was Tenn. He stood several feet away from AJ, in the corner.

Clem put a hand on AJ’s shoulder and forcibly turned him around.

“Alvin Junior, what do you think you’re doing!?” She demanded to know. “What part of ‘behave’ didn’t you understand!?”

“I thought he wanted to hurt us!” He whispered, gesturing at Tenn, who looked more confused than anything else. “I had to make sure he wasn’t a danger”

“I wasn’t going to hurt you” Tenn mumbled. “I just wanted to come here and I got curious when I walked past your door”

It wasn’t until then that Clementine noticed the light coming from under the closed doors.

The light, the voices, and the metallic, electric white noise.

“Fuck” Louis’ voice cursed from behind the door. “This isn’t working”

“It’s not hopeless. Aasim made it work the other day” it was Sophie’s voice.

“Yeah, well, Aasim is pissed at me. Who would have thought?”

Someone swore under their breath.

“We need to tell them what happened. If Abel’s really back…”

“They’re going to teleport here to lend us a hand. Yup”

There was more white noise, louder and angrier than before.

Clementine recalled her conversation with Sophie, and her mention of another community helping them out. She realized right then that she hadn’t wondered why such a small group hadn’t moved to this bigger and presumably safer place, especially if they were in danger.

Tenn put a finger against his lips, signaling at Clementine and AJ to stay silent. They kneeled by the doors.

So, Tenn had snuck out of his room at night to spy on his sister. It was nothing Clementine hadn’t done before, and she wasn’t about to sell him out.

Besides, she wanted to listen, too.

“I…” Louis drifted off.

“What is it?” Sophie asked.

“Nothing. I just…” He sighed. “I miss Violet”

There was a moment of silence, filled only with tired white noise. The name echoed and resonated in a deep, meaningful way, as if Louis was talking about a sacred person.

“I know” Sophie said. “I… I miss her too”

“It’s not that I don’t miss Minnie too, you know. But… Violet was my best friend. _Is_ my best friend. I think she snatched that place from Marlon now”

“Are you still angry at me?”

“Well, yeah! I’m pissed at Marlon too but you can’t just… do that!”

More silence. More white noise. Tenn looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“We’re gonna get them back” Sophie stated. “You know?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know” Louis said. “That doesn’t make me miss her less right now”

“I feel like she’d do this way better than me” Sophie muttered.

“What? Fix this thing? You know she got straight F’s in Arts and Crafts, right?”

“Jeez, how do you get an F in Arts and Crafts?” Sophie chuckled. “No. I mean all this leader bullshit. She’d know what to do with Abel and Clementine and…” A pause. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Louis. I don’t—I’m scared”

The white noise became louder for a second, before retreating. Clementine’s head perked up, suddenly listening a lot more attentively.

“You’re a good leader” he said. “For the most part”

“I just want everyone to be alright but what if… I don’t know. It only takes a moment. Tripping over a rock, not dodging a bullet on time…”

“Stabbing your friends with a machete…”

“It was an accident”

To Clementine’s surprise (or not so much), Louis laughed.

“I know. Just try not to murder me next time”

A long moment of silence followed. All Clementine could hear was AJ’s breathing. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath.

“What if I can’t protect us?”

“You’ve been doing a good job. Except for, you know”

“I’m sorry”

“Yeah”

Louis’ voice sounded different. Not quite with anger or irritation, but bordering on it.

“What do you think of her?” Louis suddenly asked.

“Clementine? I don’t trust her yet”

“Yeah, me neither” Louis agreed. “She’s cool and all but… I mean, what if this is all a trick? What if she’s with _them_ actually?”

“Sending her with a kid is a… unpractical plan” Sophie commented, as if trying to brush her fears away with logic. “If they wanted to keep her trapped, they’d keep him up north, so she’d _have_ to go back”

“Or maybe they thought we’d trust her more if she had a kid with her”

“Maybe. But I doubt it”

Of course they’d talk about her. Why was she surprised?

She found it strange.  They had seemed to trust her pretty easily, with Sophie telling her so much about the school and telling her she could stay... but then again, they had taken her weapons and still weren’t giving all of them back.

She wondered if she could leave if she wanted to. If she was trapped in the school.

The white noise became louder, and then, there were voices.

“There!” Sophie exclaimed.

“H… ello?” A metallic, young voice asked.

“Hello?” Sophie repeated. “Can you hear us?” There was a long moment of silence. “Give me a city name”

“Wh…at?” The voice asked. “Who is this?”

“Could you give us a city name?” Sophie insisted.

_A city name._

The voice said something Clementine couldn’t understand, and then it faded into white noise again.

“No, no, no!” Louis whined. “Fuck”

“Fuck indeed” Sophie agreed. “Almost”

“You know it could have been anyone, right?” Louis asked.

“I think I know that voice. That was… you know, the leader’s kid, right?”

“I don’t know? I don’t know!”

Clementine blinked and turned to AJ. She found him looking at her with a silent question. He was as confused as she was.

They were using a radio. Or a walkie talkie. Or something along those lines. And they were trying to contact… this community that helped them out, she guessed.

_‘Give me a city name’_

The white noise suddenly stopped. The radio clicked and was turned off. The only sound left was the one of Louis and Sophie shifting and pacing around in the other room.

She had completely forgotten to tell Sophie that detail. That Abel had asked her for a city name.

A city name, a city name… why did they want a damn city name? Was it some kind of code? Were they asking about a location?

Who was this community helping the school?

What did the school give them in exchange for so many resources?

She stood up with a rigid movement and pulled AJ up with her. She needed to get out. The sound made the wood under her feet creak, and she winced at the sound. The pacing at the other side of the doors ceased.

The doors were suddenly swung open and the light blinded her eyes for a moment. Sophie walked out and saw the three of them in the dark hallway.

She blinked in confusion.

“Tenn?” She asked, seeing her little brother. “Why are you up so late?” She took his shoulders and examined his face. “You were spying on us”

“I’m sorry” he muttered. “I wanted to know what’s going on. You never tell me anything! Minnie’s my sister too”

Sophie took in a deep breath.

“I’m trying to keep you safe, Tenn” She said. She looked at Clementine and AJ. “And you just… encourage him to spy on me?”

Clementine opened her mouth to lie and say that, yes, she had intended to listen to Sophie and Louis’ private conversation and let Tenn tag along. But then Tenn said:

“It was my fault” he looked down at his feet. “I brought them here”

Sophie sighed and rubbed her face. She had let her hair down, and now it fell just above her shoulders.

She gave Clementine another look, one that she couldn’t decipher.

“Tenn” Sophie said. “Could you please take AJ back to his room? I need to talk to Clementine alone”

AJ immediately looked at Clementine, startled by this suggestion.

“I want to stay” he said. “I don’t want to be alone without Clem”

Sophie looked at him with tired eyes. She seemed just as exhausted as Clementine.

“Nothing bad will happen to her”

The statement didn’t seem to calm him down in the slightest. The mere mention of the possibility of Clementine getting hurt made him even more worried, because it meant she _could_ get hurt where before the idea hadn’t crossed his mind.

“AJ…” Clementine started. She kneeled to be at his level. “Go back to your room. I promise, it’ll be fine”

AJ clearly didn’t want to leave, but he gave a hesitant nod.

“O… okay” he mumbled.

“Come on” Tenn said. He started to climb down the stairs, a clear look of disappointment and embarrassment in his face. “Let’s go back to the dorms”

AJ and Clementine exchanged one last look before he had to walk down the stairs, away from her sight.

Clementine had to admit, having AJ away from her made her feel nervous.

“Uh…” Louis started from his place on the doorframe. He had put on a grey t-shirt, but his trench coat was still missing. “What’s going on? What are you doing here?”

“She was spying on us” Sophie replied. “Isn’t that obvious?”

“Look, I didn’t want to spy on you” Clementine tried to justify herself. “AJ ran off and I found him here”

“And when you heard us talking, you stayed” Sophie stated. She exchanged a strange look with Louis. She was scared.

“Well, you were talking about me”

“I mean, you’re kind of a novelty here” Louis said. “You’re new. We had never seen anyone from the outside around here before…”

Clementine couldn’t help but feel like that sentence was to be followed by an ‘Except for…’, but then Sophie took a step forward and suddenly grabbed her arm.

“Clementine, please come inside” she commanded.

Clementine tried to tear her arm away from Sophie’s death grip, but the lack of sleep and the exhaustion meant most of her strength was gone, and Sophie, although  clumsy and bad in battle, was quite strong.

She let her guide her inside the room, with ever muscle in her body painfully tense and her heartbeats quickening with every second that passed.

Louis followed them and locked the door behind himself. Clementine’s stomach dropped.

There went her hopes of a home. She’d be kicked out. She’d be forced to go back to the road. And so would AJ. Or worse, they’d decide he shouldn’t pay for her crimes and they’d take him away from her. And a selfish, selfish terror invaded her.

She couldn’t be without AJ. That just… it wasn’t—wasn’t _right_. AJ was _supposed_ to be with _her_. That’s just how things worked. The sun came out in the east, plants grew on spring and AJ’s place was with her, with his family and they wanted—Oh, God, they’d take him away--

Sophie’s left hand palmed her arms, waist, hips and legs, looking for a weapon she didn’t have. She had left her knife at her room.

Then, she grabbed her left arm—the one with the scars, and squeezed it painfully. Clementine realized she was holding it to the light of the candles to observe them better. She was suddenly painfully aware of how visible the New Frontier brand was. She jerked her arm away from Sophie’s grasp. She let her go this time.

The walls of the room, like in the piano room, were covered by bookshelves and paintings ruined by graffiti, but it the ground was surprisingly clean and tidy. The windows were barred with wooden planks, covering the moonlight, and the only sources of light were the few lit candles around the room. A desk with a big chair behind it sat to her left. And, on the table, there was a big artifact, with dials and wires, a small screen, something that looked like an antenna, a microphone and speakers. It was an old radio, with some serious interventions done to it.

There was a low growl, and her blood went cold.

There was a beast, a four legged, canine monster lying half asleep by the desk. Some sort of bulldog.

She touched her scar, the dog bite. It had been six years, but the memory was still fresh in her mind. The animal would lunge at her and crush her skull with its jaws. It wasn’t weak and dumb, like a walker. It was awake and angry and aggressive and it was going to hurt her.

Sophie took a seat on the chair while Louis stood next to the desk.

“I promise you” Sophie said. “We’re not going to hurt you”

“You could let me go, then” Clementine rushed to argue. Her hands were shaking. She glanced at the sleeping dog.

Noticing her uneasiness, Louis petted the animal to wake it up. It opened its eyes and glanced at Clementine with little interest. He whispered something to it _(“Come on, Rosie. Get out of here”)_ and led it to the doors, which he opened slightly, just enough to let it go through.

“You’re scared of dogs?” Sophie asked casually.

Clementine gave a shaky nod.

“I had a bad experience with a dog, some time ago”

“I can see” She gestured to her arm. “Rosie is good, though. She’s not going to hurt you” She cleared her throat. “Now…”

“How much did you hear?” Louis inquired.

Clementine crossed her arms.

“You said you didn’t trust me”

“Yeah, we have our reasons” He commented. She glared at him, and one could swear he saw his life pass before his eyes.

“You were talking about… getting someone back”

Louis looked at Sophie, as if looking for guidance, but Sophie didn’t return his glance. She kept looking at Clementine with pained eyes.

“And?”

“And you were trying to contact someone” She continued. “You were asking for a city name. Abel asked me for a city name, too”

She looked between Louis and Sophie, trying to decipher their expressions, their thoughts. Her attention was caught by the radio transmitter once again.

_‘Give me a city name’_

“You’re with them, aren’t you?” She stated. The room was dark, and silent. The wind whistled outside. She looked up at them “You’re with Abel”

“God, no!” Louis cringed. “Dude… no. Are you serious?”

“They sent you to check we weren’t going behind their backs, didn’t they?” Sophie asked. “Figures. I knew they didn’t trust us”

“So you _are_ with Abel” Clementine continued. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out who Abel… who _everyone_ really was. Her only reason to think Abel was anything more dangerous than a road thief was Sophie’s way to talk about him. But if they were together… Although it did sound like the kids had reasons to ‘go behind their backs’. She didn’t know where that left her.

Sophie sighed.

“I’m not talking about Abel” She said. She gestured to Clementine. To her arm. “I’m talking about the New Frontier, dumbass”

Clementine blinked. Her train of thought stopped suddenly.

The New Frontier…?

What?

“You know them?” She asked.

“Uh... Yes” Louis said. “We, as a matter of fact, do know them”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were with them?” Sophie asked. “That would have made things a lot easier”

“Because I’m not” Clementine said, taking a step back. “I left them three years ago. Haven’t seen them since”

Louis looked between Sophie and her, as if he were watching a tennis match, while Sophie stared thoughtfully at her.

“You’re telling me you stumbled across this school on accident”

Clementine nodded.

“Pretty much. Yeah”

“And… why did you leave them?” Louis asked. “They seemed really nice last time we saw them”

“Believe me, they were anything but nice when I left” Clementine said “They branded me, raided multiple settlements, they killed a friend’s girlfriend and almost killed his niece, too” She explained. “They… they took AJ away from me. I left to find him”

“I’m sorry that happened” Louis said. “But… uh… correct me if I’m wrong. From what they’ve told us, that’s the kind of shit the previous leaders pulled. I actually met the new leader! He seems like a really cool guy. Even Mitch liked him. He’s like, the only nice adult on earth”

“His name is Javier García” Sophie explained. “Did you get to know him? Or did you leave before you got the chance?”

It took her a moment to remember who he was.

“Yeah. We were friends” She said. “I didn’t know he became the leader”

“Then I take you’re not really… updated about what’s going on, are you?”

Clementine shook her head.

“Last thing I know is that a group of assholes raided one of their places, the ranch where they kept AJ when he was a baby. I haven’t seen them ever since”

“Ugh, they kept a baby in a ranch?” Louis scrunched up his nose at the thought.

“How long ago was this?” Sophie inquired.

“About two years ago? I’m not sure.

Sophie was silent for a moment, as if she were doing silent mathematics in her head.

“Yeah, it makes sense” she said. She took a deep, shaky breath, calculating her next move. “What about Rockingham? You should remember what happened there”

Clementine blinked in confusion, digging into her memory, trying to figure out what Sophie was talking about.

“Sorry. What did you say?”

“Rockingham” Sophie repeated. “You know, at the subway station?”

“I don’t remember any subway station”

“You sure? Javier told us you were at a subway station with him, when his sister died”

“He doesn’t have a sister” Clementine said. “Not that I know of”

Louis covered his mouth. Clementine realized he was trying to stifle his laughing.

“What is it?”Clementine asked defensively.

Louis chuckled.

“Come on, Sophie” he said rather playfully. “She’s not a spy. Look at her!” He gestured to her. “She would have made up a lie already. She’s more confused than we are!”

Clementine couldn’t help but feel like she was played with, like the rug had been ripped from under her feet, like she was suddenly and vertiginously out of control.

“I’m sorry” Sophie giggled. She was giggling? “I just had to make sure”

“Sure of what?” Clementine demanded to know.

“Sure you weren’t a spy” Louis replied. Thank you very much, Louis. That was really informative.

“So you’re telling me you don’t know anything about Rockingham or what’s going on with the New Frontier and Abel?”

Clementine shook her head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Let’s just thank you’re not a spy” Louis said, carelessly sitting on the edge of the desk. “Aasim would owe me money right now, you know. If money was still a thing and all” He looked at Sophie. “Shall we tell her?”

Sophie thought about it for a moment.

“There’s nothing left to hide” She said. “And she’ll find out one way or another, anyways” She gestured to a chair at the other side of the room. “You might want to sit for this. It’s a long story”

Once Clementine had dragged the chair to in front of desk and taken a seat, she waited for Sophie to begin.

Sophie gave her a long, unsure look. She chuckled and looked at Louis.

“Where should I even start?”

“I’d suggest the beginning” Louis smiled.

“Right.  Right” She took in a deep breath. “I have a sister. Her name is Minerva. I take you noticed she’s not around here”

Clementine nodded slowly.

“I know. I’m sorry”

Sophie shook her head.

“I didn’t lie when I said she wasn’t around. She’s not dead. She’s alive. She was kidnapped”

Clementine’s eyes widened.

“Excuse me—Minerva _and_ Violet were kidnapped” Louis intervened.

“Shhh. I’m getting there” Sophie hushed him. She looked at Clementine again, and her gaze shifted into a much darker, sadder one. “Marlon used to be the leader. He took over after all the adults bailed and abandoned us to die, and we were okay with it” She started. “One day, around three years ago, Marlon, Minnie, Violet, and I went out for a supply run, in a town nearby, and we came across Abel and his crew”

Clementine listened silently, waiting for Sophie to keep going. Sophie took in a deep breath.

“He told us the same thing he told you” She continued. “He invited us to join his group, we said no, he insisted. When we tried to leave, he put a gun to our heads and tried to get Marlon to tell them where the school was, so they could take us all. And Marlon… that piece of shit…” She made a pause. “He made a goddamn deal with them: he’d sell us to them, and in exchange, they’d let him go. When I came back, I found out he had apparently done it ‘to protect the school’ “She made quotation marks with her hands. “I bet he did it to save his ass. We were thirteen”

“So… that’s why you hate him so much” Clementine figured out.

Sophie nodded.

“That’s why I—and most people here, are not happy with him”

Louis stood up and paced around in the room. He looked out the barred window.

“We couldn’t kick him out, we couldn’t kill him. I’m not even… I’m not even sure _I_ wanted to kill him” Sophie said. “We’re all family here. And I can’t forgive him no matter how hard I try. And I really tried. But… I don’t want him dead”

“What about today, then? Uh?” Louis intervened. “Because that looked an awful lot like you did want him dead”

Sophie looked at him with pleading eyes.

“That was a mistake” Sophie muttered. She looked like a child being scolded “I was angry and I… I didn’t think”

“Yeah. Whatever” Louis said dismissively. He didn’t _look_ angry, although he probably kind of was. He mostly looked sad and betrayed.

“Anyways” Sophie continued, forcing herself into a less… self-denigrating mental space. “They took us on a boat up the Ohio River. I remember Violet thought we were being sold into sex slavery” When she saw Clementine’s alarmed expression, she rushed to add: “It wasn’t sex slavery. Thank god. But… we weren’t treated nicely”

She studied Clementine’s expression for a moment. And, by her part, Clementine took a moment to examine Sophie’s face. She was pale, had bags under her eyes and her scar looked particularly prominent in the candlelight. She was trying to hard to be strong, to be a leader, but she was just a child. Clementine understood that feeling very well.

“It wasn’t just Abel” Sophie picked up. “It was a big group, called The Delta. They have this… giant community, up north” She opened her arms, as if to show with a gesture how big the group was. “They were at war with the New Frontier—they still are. They’ve been for years, and they were kidnapping people to fight on their side. Especially kids. They… torture them, brainwash them and make them kill their families. They know their enemies will try not to kill children, _their own_ children” She looked down and pressed her lips into a thin line. “They turn us into their child soldiers. That’s what they do” She raised her head again to look at Clementine. “It’s evil and perverse and—and my sister’s still there. And it’s a matter of time ‘till they find us and…”

“Hey” Clementine said, her comforting, almost maternal side getting the best of her. “It’s okay. I got it. You don’t need to keep going”

Sophie forced a selfless smile for her, took in a deep breath, and continued:

“When I was there…” She licked her lips. “I remember, there was this… little girl, who stole a knife and tried to escape. And I saw her, but I played dumb. So when they found her, and when they found out I was around when she stole the knife, they gave me he knife, and they… they forced me to use it to rip her nails out. All her nails. Like, even the toes. They held her down and she cried and… and I really didn’t want to do it! She was just a kid younger than Tenn! But they said they’d hurt Minnie if I didn’t and…” She shook her head. “Or this time, when they kidnapped a bunch of New Frontier men, they tied them up, and gave us the knives to kill them. T—They showed us how to slit their throats open and made us kill them. We were all kids. Some killed kids younger than them” She closed her eyes. “It’s not just the kind of stuff they do to us. It’s also what they make _us_ do” She explained. “The point is to make us do bad things and then tell us our families won’t want us because of that, so the only place we have left is… there. With the Delta. Because they can be really nice to people if you do what they say. And… and it works. It fabricates this fucked up sense of loyalty and home… they told us about a case, at a New Frontier settlement—not Richmond, but close. They managed to get a boy who was kidnapped back, but he ended up almost killing his parents and going back to the Delta” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Something else they do is to torture you so bad you won’t want to disobey ever again. They cut out limbs, they burn you, they starve you, they don’t let you sleep for days… They do this to children, Clementine. And once they’re done with them, they’re just… broken. They turn them into killing machines. I have seen it with kids as young as AJ. I don’t… I didn’t want to be there. I don’t want my sister to be there. So, months after we were taken, we managed to come up with a plan to get out” She licked her lips. “We tried to leave by the river, but Minnie and Violet…” She shook her head. “They got caught. We had to cross a bridge and they told me to go first. Next thing I knew... next thing I knew, the lights were on us, and the soldiers started shouting. I saw them take Minnie and Violet but then a bullet hit me and I just… fell. Into the river” She put a finger on the left corner of her mouth, over her scar. “That’s how I got this scar. The river dragged me away from them and once I woke up, I managed to find my way back here”

Even in the candlelight, Clementine could easily tell that was not a bullet scar at all. If she had to guess, she’d say it was made by a knife. The lie was evident, but she didn’t point it out.

“Of course, Marlon wasn’t happy to see me. He was terrified” Sophie chuckled bitterly. “I told everyone what had happened. And I beat him up. I thought I would want to kill him but I… I didn’t. The thought of killing him scared me. So we let him stay”

Somewhere behind Clementine, by the bookshelves, Louis hummed. Sophie either didn’t hear him or didn’t pay attention to him.

“Our next goal was to get Minnie and Violet back. And I knew where the group the Delta was at war with was, and I thought maybe we could help each other” She gestured to Louis. “Louis and I managed to travel there, meet up with Javier and establish some sort of alliance. I knew the Delta like the back of my hand. I knew their plans and their tactics. I knew what to expect. And Richmond had all the resources we needed. It was a fair deal, I think. All we wanted was to get Minnie and Violet back, and keep everyone alive in the meantime. That’s still the plan” She looked at Louis. “We act as some kind of… outpost? Is that the right word?”

Louis shrugged.

“Kind of, I think”

“Yeah. Like an outpost. We’re far closer to the Delta than they are, so they often stop here, or hide if they need to. The Delta doesn’t know anything about the location of the school, and we can observe them from afar. And with this thing” She tapped on the radio transmitter “and some luck, we can listen to their conversations without them even knowing. All the information that comes out of here is pure gold for the New Frontier. That’s how they’re getting the upper hand. Mostly”

“Mostly?” Clementine asked.

Sophie made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

“The Delta has far more soldiers and resources than Richmond” She explained. “And they truly believe in what they’re fighting for. They’re fighting to defend their home. Just like the New Frontier does. Just like we do”

“How did the war even start?”

“As you might know, the New Frontier used to raid other communities, under Joan’s jurisdiction”

“Is that all?” Clementine raised an eyebrow. “They could clear things up. Joan is dead”

“She is. But so are all the people the Delta killed in revenge. So are the kids they stole. Richmond, as the main settlement of the New Frontier, has a lot of resources, the technology, the infrastructure… everything the Delta wants. And instead of merging both communities…”

“They declare war on each other” Clementine finished.

“The Delta declares war on the New Frontier” Sophie corrected her. “They want to see the New Frontier destroyed. They want full control of Richmond. And the New Frontier would never give in, or accept any kind of deal or ‘merging’ after knowing what they do to children. As they see it, the New Frontier’s quest is almost on a… a moral level, I suppose. They want to destroy the Delta because they know they’re evil. The Delta wants to take what they have, because the New Frontier won’t accent to share with them”

Clementine hummed.

“It makes sense”

Sophie nodded.

“So, no. We’re not with Abel” She gave her that smile again, forced and sacrificed. “I hope that cleared things up”

Sophie was looking at her, but not at her face. Instead, her eyes were glued to the brand on Clementine’s arm. The New Frontier symbol. She instinctually covered it with her hand.

“What are you thinking about?” Sophie asked her.

“I don’t know” Clementine admitted. “It’s… a lot to take in”

“Are you still staying?” Was her next question.

It was a valid question. Staying meant having food, safe sleep, a roof over her head, walls to protect her and people to rely on. But it also meant fighting literal child kidnappers in a war that didn’t concern her.

But on the other hand, she wouldn’t survive another day on the road.  She’d be trapped in a war zone, and she ran the risk of being caught by the Delta, especially since Abel had already seen her. If she and AJ were alone, they’d barely have means to defend themselves. If what Sophie had told her was true, they’d take them.

They’d take AJ away from her.

“Do I have another choice?” Clementine asked. “They’d take us within the weak if we leave”

Sophie nodded. This time it was Louis’ turn to speak up.

“So, you’re staying?” he asked.

Clementine shrugged.

“I mean, if you still want me to, after I spied on you”

Sophie made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

“Already forgiven” she said.  She gave her a long, understanding look and stood up. “It’s not that I’m kicking you out” she said. “But you’re exhausted. And I bet your boy is worried”

Right. AJ. Clementine hadn’t noticed the time passing so fast.

“You’re right” She agreed, standing up. “Um… I’m sorry I interrupted you”

“It’s fine” Louis said. He smiled at her. “We spy on people too. No judging here”

He winked at her, and she couldn’t help but chuckle. He was kinda cute.

“It’s good to know you’re not, you know, a child kidnapper” Louis continued. “I like that in girls”

“Don’t you have lookout shift now?” Sophie asked playfully. She pushed his shoulder. “Go, leave us alone. You two” She looked at Clementine. “Go have some rest. I’ll take care of this”

She put a hand on the radio, and Clementine realized she meant she was going to stay awake, working on it.

“Are you sure?” She asked.  “You’re tired too”

Sophie snorted. She looked so tired she could barely stand.

“I’m fine. I slept in today” She dismissed her. “And Louis is staying up in solidarity. You go. Don’t worry about it”

Clementine gave her one last look before opening the door and walking out.

She knew trauma. She knew what Sophie must be going through. If she needed space, she would give it to her.

It was cold and dark outside. But she felt… surprisingly at peace.

She made her way to her room. She had so much to think about, her head buzzing with the new information. But maybe she could still get some sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is being writen on June 11th, so I have no idea what your reactions will be when I post this chapter. It's like time travel. I don't know, I thought it was interesting. Because I was thinking about what you'd think of my interpretation of Sophie. I mean, she's basically a fandom OC, and I don't like adding OCs to my fanfics, but this one actually does work. I wonder if this work will become popular or fade into oblivion and all my effort turns out to be pointless. I hope not.
> 
> (June 22th note: I realized I might not have clarified before, but the tags say "Abusive Relationship" and "Delta!Violet". This does NOT mean Violet and Clem will have an abusive relationship in the story. This is more like an enemies-to-lovers story, not *that*. They will have a healthy relationship. The Abusive Relationship tag reffers to something else)
> 
> June 25: Hey, as you might have noticed, I'm posting this one day earlier. I'm just impatient, I guess. Chapters will still be posted with five days of difference, with the exception of Chapter Five, which will be posted on July 1st, in six days. Is this irregular? Yes. Is this unprofessional? Yes. Do I care? Nope!
> 
> I feel like many of you have been waiting for this chapter. This is not a mystery story, guys, as much as I love mysteries (I'm keeping my idea for a mystery story for later). There are a lot of things left to be solved, though. Just you wait.
> 
> Chapter Five: Black Flies, will be posted on July 1st, 2019.


	6. Black Flies

_“And I don't wanna beg your pardon_  
_And I don't wanna ask you why_  
_But if I was to go my own way_  
_Would I have to pass you by?”_

–“[Black Flies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NPA__ra9uY)”, by Ben Howard

Δ

Summer soon gave way to fall, as the forest turned from a vibrant green to warm reds, oranges, yellows and browns. The air became colder and it became harder to hunt rabbits and possums in the woods.

Abel hadn’t found them that season. The kids remained hidden in their little fortress for the first couple of weeks, and then Clementine and Mitch had been sent into a scouting party to check the train station, which was cold and empty, with no sign of Abel other than the dried bloodstains on the floor.

“See you didn’t bring those fuckers to us” Mitch had said under his breath examined the bloodstain. “Fuck” he had chuckled with admiration. “You really fucked this guy up”

“Yeah, you’re welcome” Clementine had replied, trying not to laugh at his exaggerated use of the word ‘Fuck’.

She’d stayed at the school, in the end. Sophie had explained the whole situation to the other kids, who, since her arrival, had been wary of her, worried that she was one of the Delta kids. Once she’d supplied them with proof that she wasn’t, they finally let their guard down and started to relax around her and AJ. And with the passing of the months, she’d grown attached the place. She enjoyed the warm food and the baths and the beds. She even enjoyed cleaning the clothes and the sheets in the river, in love with the idea of putting on clothes that weren’t dirty with blood and sweat.

She was doing exactly that when she first saw Her.

She’d gone with AJ, Willy and Aasim to get the clothes clean. They’d do it once a week, and usually, less people would go, but Sophie had managed to contact the New Frontier with her radio, and they had told them a group of men would need to stay at the school for some time, and they wouldn’t have time to go out and clean their clothes and sheets for some time if they’d have to stay at the school and make sure nothing went wrong, plus all the new clothes they’d probably have to clean during the New Frontier men’s stay.

So it was better to get as much possible clean before their arrival.

“You know, I always tell them to do their own clothes” Aasim complained. “They just drop all their dirty clothes on _our_ baskets and expect _us_ to do their work. And Sophie is too nice to do anything about it, so _I_ have to be the bad guy and tell them to do it themselves, which they never do”

“Uh…” Clementine hummed. “What are you talking about, again?”

She wasn’t paying a lot of attention to what Aasim was saying. She was more focused on the cold, painful numbness of her hands and she dipped the clothes into the water and cleaned the blood off them.

She was nervous.

“He’s complaining about the soldiers” Willy chided with irritation. “He’s _always_ complaining about the soldiers”

AJ was playing several feet away with the small spear Willy and Mitch had made for him weeks before, so he could fish like everyone else. He was trying to catch some fishes, as they’d need more food if they’d be receiving New Frontier soldiers. As far as Clementine knew, though, they had enough for the moment and it wasn’t a source of concern, but AJ wanted to make sure.

“I don’t like the New Frontier either” Clementine sympathized with Aasim. “But they’re a better alternative than the Delta, I guess”

Aasim shrugged.

“I’m sick of adults”

He wrung the t-shirt he was washing and threw it on one of the baskets.

“Here. Help me with this” He said as he took a big bed sheet out of one of the baskets. Clementine inched closer to help.

They had ran out of the little soap they had left several months ago, and Clementine doubted the New Frontier soldiers would have some to trade, so they had resorted to simply dipping the clothes in the river and try to get them as clean as possible with water alone.

So Clementine and Aasim together worked on the bed sheets, both burning their hands with the freezing water.

And Clementine was nervous.

Terrified, almost.

“This is stupid” Aasim mumbled. “We should be hunting, scouting. Not washing some fucking clothes”

“Clean clothes are nice” Clementine tried to argue. The cold water burned her hands. The sleeves of her coat were too big to roll them up, and it was too cold to take the whole coat off, so the water soaked them and made her wrists burn and go numb. It was grounding. “And we have more than enough food” She added after a bit.

“Yeah, and we’re also at war. There are more important things to do than washing clothes”

Once they were finished, they managed to wring the bed sheet with some difficulty and put it down inside the basket for the clean clothes.

AJ wasn’t working a lot on the clothes. Clementine didn’t want him to get the cold water all over himself, in case he got sick, and he worked a lot better watching their backs than cleaning clothes anyways. Willy, on the other hand, was perfectly capable of washing the clothes _and_ watching their backs at the same time, yet he decided to use his time to wander around the fishing shack, bow and arrow in hand, observing their surroundings.

“You could help with this!” Aasim called. “Instead of sitting around doing nothing”

“I’m watching the perimeter! I saw something!” Willy protested. “You said it yourself! Cleaning clothes is stupid!”

“Yes! It’s stupid and we’d be done a lot faster if you helped us”

AJ, hearing the commotion, put his spear down and trotted up to Aasim and Clementine.

“Can I help?” He asked. “I could wash the clothes, too”

Clementine raised her head and gave him a warm smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Goofball” She reassured him. “We’re almost done. Go help Willy watch our backs, okay?”

AJ nodded, taking mental note.

“Okay. I’ll watch your backs”

 He ran off in Willy’s direction.

Aasim said something under his breath, sounding angry.

“What did you say?” Clementine asked.

“Willy can be stupid sometimes” He stated. “All he does is walk around with that bow and arrow all day while the rest of us work. At least AJ wants to do something useful”

“I mean, we’re at war, right?” Clementine said. “Having someone watch our backs is pretty useful”

“Come on, there’s no one here. We’re too far away from everything and no one knows where the school is”

“Abel did come pretty close last time”

“Yeah, and he left” Aasim shook his head. He put the last clean clothes (a pair of pants) in the last basket. “That’s all. Come on, help me get them inside”

They both carried the clothes baskets inside the fishing shack. It was five of them, and they had to do several trips because AJ wasn’t strong enough to lift them and Willy was too busy examining the bushes.

The shack was small. There was a big mattress in the ground with blankets, though no one ever slept there, and a table with fishing equipment. A series of ropes ran from wall to wall, meant to be the place where they hung the clothes after washing them, and several spears lay against the wall, and that was kinda it.

Sophie had told her she’d spent several days hiding there after escaping the Delta, before gathering the courage to approach the school.

“When I was there” She had told her, sitting on the couch “They told me no one would want me anymore, except for them. They told me my family was my enemy now, and they’d kill me on sight. And for a long time, I believed them”

It had been a bad day for Sophie. Everyone could tell she was thinking about the Delta. The memories haunted her with more cruelty around fall, the season in she escaped.

Talking seemed to help.

“I remember… I always put up a fight, you know? Violet sometimes stood up with me. They wanted to teach me how to use machine guns, but the thing was bigger than me, and I didn’t want to learn how to use it, anyways. You know, it’s a _murder machine_. I don’t like murder. And so this man tried to force me, and I hit him, and he hit me back. And he kept hitting me until I accepted. But this time they brought a prisoner… A boy of our age now. I didn’t… I didn’t want to shoot him, I swear. They had all these… techniques to keep us trapped. Their favorite one was to make us believe our families hated us. So they made us do unforgivable things. Combine that with the fact that our leader literally handed us to them… Yeah. I escaped, but I thought they’d hate me, so I hid from them. I… genuinely thought I was tainted. I thought there was no going back from what they made me do. Eventually, Louis found me and brought me home”

“I’m so glad he found me. And I’m so glad they forgave me. I should have known they’d forgive me. Because, you know, they’re _them_. But I was so scared, Clem. I hated myself so much”

Clementine now she limited herself to hang the wet clothes on the ropes, as she thought about Sophie’s words. Sophie never seemed particularly broken. She acted the same way the rest of the kids did, having been sheltered from the world for so many years. Still relatively innocent and hopeful.

She must really be burying everything, bottling it up. But then again, Clementine did the same. So who was she to judge?

The common anger towards the Delta she had been feeling for months settled in her stomach. She had never had any interaction with them, other than seeing Abel, but Sophie’s stories were enough for her to fear them.

Any of these days, they could come around and take everyone. Take AJ. Hurt him like they hurt Sophie.

Aasim was hanging the clothes, too, but he stopped at one point to observe one jacket in particular. It was brown and not very protective of the cold, but it was waterproof. Clementine recognized it as one of Ruby’s jackets.

“Is everything okay with Ruby?” She cautiously asked. Aasim rushed to hang the jacket without looking at Clementine.

It wasn’t a mystery Aasim and Ruby were going through a rough patch. Clementine had seen them fight twice already in the last month, and they were seen together less often.

“None of your business” Aasim said nervously.

“Okay, okay. I was just asking” Clementine tried to defend herself.

After a long moment of silence, Aasim said:

“She thinks I’m too rude sometimes”

“…Okay” Clementine replied, waiting for him to continue. Truth was, Aasim could be quite rude, but so did Ruby. She guessed it was a complicate combination.

“Listen, I just want to get shit done. Don’t expect me to be happy about it all the time” Aasim said. He gripped one of the soaking t-shirts, without hanging it.

“Look, we’re all scared” Clementine said. “But we can’t go around treating each other like crap” She grabbed the t-shirt from Aasim’s hand and hung it on the rope herself. “If we don’t work together, we die. We can’t afford to fight among ourselves”

Aasim sighed. He picked up the last clothes from the basket and hung them on the rope.

“You’re right” He admitted. “It just pisses me off that everyone’s so _relaxed_ back there. We should fortify the school, send scouting parties, get some actual training with guns…”

“Why don’t you suggest that to Sophie?” Clementine suggested. “I’m sure she’ll agree with you”

“I hope so”

They stacked the baskets together on top of each other and Aasim picked them up while Clementine opened the door for him. They walked out the shack and locked the door behind themselves.

Willy and AJ were nowhere to be seen. Clementine bit her lip and tried to remain calm.

“Where the hell is he?” Aasim grumbled. “Willy!” He yelled. Clementine cringed at the loud noise and smacked a hand over his mouth.

“Are you crazy!?” She snapped in low voice. “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea?”

Aasim smacked her hand away, looking embarrassed, and put the baskets on the ground.

“’Sim!” Someone whispered. Clementine and Aasim turned around to find Willy and AJ hiding behind some trees, feet away from the shack, hidden by debris and the tall grass. Willy had his bow tense, ready to loose.

Clementine and Aasim immediately understood, and rushed to hide with the younger kids.

“There’s a soldier” Willy explained. “They’re right there”

“Delta?” Aasim asked. He grabbed his gun from his pocket, but Clementine shook her head.

“Don’t use that. You’ll bring attention to us”

“They’re Delta” Willy continued. “I saw them talking to someone else and they said ‘Rockingham’”

“Shh!” AJ hushed them. They froze and silently listened for a sign of life. Despite the brushing of grass and leaves in the wind, Clementine could clearly distinguish the sound of footsteps, not far from them.

“Fuck” Aasim whimpered. “We’re screwed”

“We’re not” Clementine insisted. She gripped her knife. “Willy, are they alone?”

Willy gave a hesitant nod.

“I think so. I think the other left”

“Good. I’ll take them out” She looked at AJ. “Aasim, give AJ the gun”

“What?” Aasim looked offended. “No way”

Clementine didn’t have time for that. She snatched the gun from Aasim’s hands and gave it to AJ. He trusted him a lot more.

“AJ, I need you and Willy to watch my back, alright?”

AJ nodded. He checked the gun was loaded with a click.

“Alright” he agreed.

Clementine gave him a loving smile and stood up, knife in hand. She rushed to the side of the shack and peaked around the corner to see a woman (Her) struggling with the locked door. She had a military jacket and a big assault rifle, and the sight alone made Clementine’s blood go cold. She turned to see Willy and AJ armed and ready to fight. She couldn’t hear anyone else, and that was good, she guessed.

Fuck. How had she gotten so close to the school? How hadn’t they seen her?

She tightened her grip on her knife and jumped to dig it into the woman’s neck.

A brutal slap knocked her to the ground, followed by a kick to the stomach that left her breathless. She coughed and tried to find the knife that had fallen from her hand, but it was kicked away from her.

The cold barrel of a gun was pushed against her temple. A heavy boot pressed on the back of her neck. It would snap the bones if she moved.

Her heart gave a painful leap. She tried to take in a breath, but it was as if her ribs were locked in place. She tried not to look in AJ’s direction.

“What is this?” The woman asked. She pressed her boot harder on her neck, and Clementine held back a pathetic little cry. “You were trying to kill me” The woman stated.

Clementine desperately wanted to reply, but her mind had gone blank. She couldn’t think of anything that would keep her unharmed without giving away her position. All she could do is keep her distracted for long enough so AJ and the boys could run.

But AJ didn’t run. Instead, he jumped out of his hiding spot, gun in hand, aiming at the woman’s head.

“Let her go!” He demanded.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” The woman warned him, pressing the gun harder against Clementine’s head. “Give me the gun”

“No”

“Your friend here might get hurt”

AJ looked at Clementine, looking for advice.

“AJ…” She struggled. “Run…”

“Don’t you dare” The boot applied an immense pressure on Clementine’s neck, and for a moment she was terrified it’d actually snap. Clementine grunted and bit her lip. “I don’t have all day”

AJ raised the gun higher and put his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot.

“AJ, don’t… Don’t shoot” Clementine managed to get out. “Just…” Fuck it. “Give her the gun. It’s okay”

AJ looked at Clementine with surprise and fear, but he hesitantly obeyed, dropping the gun and kicking it by the woman’s feet. The woman grabbed it with a swift motion and hid it in her jacket.

“There’s a group traveling by car around here” She said. “You must have seen them”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Clementine replied, and trusted AJ was smart enough not to say anything suspicious.

“Oh, I bet you don’t” She stepped harder on Clementine’s neck. “It’s five cars. We’ve been following them for a while”

She must be talking about the New Frontier group that was going to stay at the school, Clementine figured.

“Why should I tell you anything?” Clementine huffed. “You’re going to kill me anyways”

 To her surprise, the woman chuckled.

“Oh, we can’t afford to kill everyone we come across in the woods”

Her voice was somewhat… familiar. Clementine couldn’t place where she had heart it before.

A dirty hand pulled at the collar of her coat, searching for something. Clementine tried to jerk away from that gross touch.

“What are you doing?!” AJ protested. He was looking around, searching for a potential weapon.

“You’re not with them, I see” The woman concluded. She’d been searching for the New Frontier brand. They were usually on the neck, but not in her case.

“Who’s ‘them’?” Clementine faked naivety. “What do you want?”

“Right now, I want you two to come with me” The woman stated, aiming the gun at AJ. Clementine froze in the spot. “You and your group. There’s no way you’ve been surviving here on your own”

Clementine gave AJ a tiny shake of her head.

_‘Don’t tell her’_

“We’re alone” AJ lied. “Everyone else is dead!

The woman hummed thoughtfully.

“Stand up” She commanded. She took her boot off Clementine’s neck and gave a step back, aiming the gun at AJ. Before Clementine could even plan to get her knife back, the woman snatched it away.

Clementine shakily turned around and propped herself up with her shoulders. Willy and Aasim had moved at some point. She caught a glimpse of them at the other side of the river, hiding behind the rocks. Willy was aiming his bow and arrow at the woman, but Clementine gave him an almost imperceptible shake of the head when the woman wasn’t looking.

For the first time, she saw the woman in the face. She was tall, and towered over Clementine. She wondered how she had ever thought she could take her out with just a knife. But she wasn’t as tall as she remembered. Somewhere in the back of her mind, there was the memory of the woman looking at her protectively from the roof of an RV, giving her maybe a bit more food than she was supposed to get that day and standing between her and the farm men with a rifle in her bloody hands, ready to kill to protect her.

It took her a moment to remember her name.

“Lilly…?” She hesitated, scared of getting it wrong.

But the woman’s expression shifted from ice cold to something else, something like horror or surprise.

“Clementine?”

She immediately lowered the rifle and offered her a hand. Clementine didn’t even think before accepting her help and propping herself up.

“Clem?” AJ asked. Clementine stood between him and Lilly.

She tried to remember the last time she’d seen her.                                                

“I thought you died” Clementine confessed.

Lilly sighed.

“I came close” she admitted. “It’s been a while, isn’t it?”

Clementine didn’t know how to reply to that.

“Lee isn’t with you” Lilly noted.

“He died years ago” Clementine explained. “Three days after you left, I think”

“Fuck” Lilly said under her breath.

So Lilly was with the Delta, but Clementine still couldn’t wrap her head around it. Lilly was alive. Lilly had always been nice to her. She was one of the few adults at the Motor Inn who paid attention to her and listened to whatever childish thing she had to say, and she’d been good friends with Lee. Lee had trusted her. And she had also betrayed his trust.

And now, she kidnapped children.

Clementine put a hand on AJ’s shoulder and took a step back.

“You know her?” AJ asked, incredulous. “She tried to kill you!”

“She was friends with Lee” Clementine explained. “From before you were born”

Lilly looked at them, somewhat confused.

“Is he yours?” She asked, almost with pity.

“He’s my brother” Clementine rushed to explain. It was a common misunderstanding, and it made her feel gross. She hated it when people assumed AJ was her biological son, considering their respective ages, even if sometimes she sort of felt like a mom. She hated the implications.

“I didn’t know you had a brother”

“Well, I do now”

The gun wasn’t aimed at them anymore, which she found strange, but Lilly didn’t seem scared of them.

“So you found your parents”

“They’re dead, too”

“Of course” Lilly sympathized. “I’m sorry”

Clementine frowned. Sorry?

She exchanged a confused look with AJ.

“Is everything you said true?” Lilly asked. “That you’re alone? You didn’t see anything?”

Clementine nodded.

“Like AJ said, everyone else died a long time ago” she lied. “It’s been just us for years” and to make her lie more believable, she added: “We used to travel by car, but it got broken some months ago. We’ve been just… trying to find food here for a while”

Lilly gave her a sympathetic look. She believed her.

“It gets lonely, doesn’t it?” She said. “I can’t imagine what it must be like to raise a kid on your own, being so young”

“We manage” Clementine dismissed her. It was true, though. She knew loneliness. And she knew it had been hard, to be alone with AJ for so long.

They weren’t alone anymore.

“Listen” Lilly said. “I live at a community up north, the Delta. We have walls, electricity, food…”

“You’re inviting us to join” Clementine stated. It wasn’t a question. Of course she would. Of course she’d try to kidnap her as well, to turn her into her soldier just like the rest.

She knew Sophie’s stories. She spent months listening to them. She wasn’t about to let Lilly take her.

“We can help you raise him” Lilly gestured at AJ. “Besides, we need survivors right now. We need people to defend ourselves”

“We’re not going” was Clementine’s quick response, pushing AJ behind herself. She surprised herself with how calm she sounded. “In my experience, groups are trouble. I can protect him better on my own”

If Lilly was trying to kidnap them, it didn’t look like so. She wasn’t holding them at gunpoint or tying their hands. She was just looking at them with a tired, thoughtful expression.

“You’ve changed” Lilly pointed out.

“I grew up” Clementine corrected her.

Lilly stared at her for a moment. 

“Be smart, Clementine” she warned her. “This is a warzone. You won’t survive a day without a group”

“Fine” Clementine crossed her arms. “I’ll go somewhere else, then”

Clementine noticed Lilly’s grip in her gun tightened. She unconsciously palmed her belt, where she usually kept her knife. The knife Lilly had taken away from her. She was defenseless.

Behind her, AJ tensed up, ready to run.

“I’d do anything for the Delta” Lilly said. “It’s my home. Do you understand that, Clementine?”

“Are you trying to kidnap me?” Clementine asked. She took a step back and bit her tongue, so she wouldn’t keep talking. But the anger started to invade her as she imagined Lilly, the woman who had once been so nice to her, beating and kidnapping a thirteen-years-old Sophie, forcing a machine gun into her hands and turning her into a killing machine. “Because if this is how you recruit your soldiers, I wouldn’t expect a lot of loyalty from their part”

Lilly hadn’t mentioned anything about soldiers. She didn’t realize she had said that until Lilly spoke again.

“Loyalty can be taught and learnt. Especially when you’re fighting for the right cause”

“Oh, and which cause would this be?” Clementine asked defiantly.

“To defend our people, for starters” Lilly argued. “We have a good thing, back at the Delta. Walls, medicine, hot water, we grow our own food… You must miss having a place like that”

“We’re not soldiers” AJ intervened. “We’re not fighting for you”

Lilly’s expression shifted into something Clementine couldn’t read anymore. Something cold and unexpressive, slipping into a different mental stage.

“You’ve been raising him a pacifist, I see”

“I’m raising him smart” Clementine retorted. “He knows better than to get involved with something that doesn’t concern us”

“You can’t run away from trouble forever, Clementine” Lilly took a step towards her. She didn’t need to raise her weapon to be intimidating. “You won’t be able to protect him forever”

“Leave us alone” AJ demanded.

“What will happen when he gets hurt? When he gets sick?” Lilly insisted. “You’re just a kid, Clementine. Not his mom”

“His mom is dead. I’m alive” Clementine argued. “I’ve been protecting him for years. We’re fine on our own”

“You say he was born after I left” She continued. “He’s never know anything but this, has he?”

No. He had never. And he never would.

“Don’t you think he deserves to know what it’s like to live in society? Not to be scared all the time?”

“I’m not scared” AJ snapped. “But you should be”

 Lilly raised an eyebrow, unamused.

“What makes you think you’re the most qualified person to protect him, Clementine?” Lilly insisted. “That other people won’t do a better job? Adults who know how to raise children. Real parents”

She wanted to take him away from her.

Clementine backed away from her and grabbed AJ’s arm.

“He stays with me”

“I never said he wouldn’t” Lilly said. “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be together. Or alone, in the woods, when you can be safe. Have a real home”

“AJ is my home” Clementine stated. “We don’t need anything else. We’re safer alone than fighting for you”

There was a long moment of hesitation, in which Lilly stared thoughtfully at them, gripping her assault rifle. AJ grabbed Clementine’s hand as they slowly backed away, muscles tense and ready to fight, even with no weapons.

Lilly would take them.

They had no means to defend themselves. They were two scared kids, and Lilly was an adult. A soldier. A soldier who kidnapped kids.

It was over. They’d be taken. There was nothing else to do. No salvation, no chances to get out. If Willy shot an arrow, they’d give away their position, and they’d be taken, too. If he didn’t, Lilly would take them and take AJ away from her.

She felt tears prick at her eyes, but she didn’t let herself cry. She had to be strong, for AJ.

Then, Lilly took a step forward and Clementine tried to back away, but Lilly’s hand suddenly gripped her shoulder.

“If you don’t want to fight for us” She whispered. “Get the hell out of here”

She let her go, and Clementine almost lost balance and fell over.

Lilly turned around, rifle in hand, and started to walk away.

“Good luck, Clementine” She said. Clementine didn’t know what to say to that.

And soon, Lilly had disappeared into the forest, completely out of sight.

Clementine let out a shaky breath.

She blinked.

What the fuck?

What had just happened? Did it really happen? She felt as if she had just been thrown into a parallel reality, because Lilly… and the Delta…

Just… what…?

“Clem…” AJ whispered. She turned around and nearly tripped over when AJ wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn’t hesitate to hug him back.

“What the hell was that?” Aasim asked as he approached her. He had left Willy to cross the river on his own, several feet away “She let you go?”

“I don’t know” Clementine confessed. “I… I think so”

“Clementine” Aasim said. “Who the fuck was that?”

“She’s… a woman I used to know, a long time ago” She explained. She took AJ’s hand. “Let’s go. I need to talk to Sophie”

Δ

When they returned to the school, the first thing Clementine noticed were the cars.

They were all parked inside of the school’s walls, of course. They had moved the picnic tables to make space for the two cars and the three pickup trucks that occupied one of the corners of the main yard.

Clementine was nervous.

In the months in which she’d stayed at Ericson, she had never seen anyone but the kid’s familiar faces. She didn’t see any Delta or New Frontier soldiers, and all the communication with the outside world were the short sentences Sophie or Louis shared with someone from the New Frontier through the radio transmitter when Clementine just happened to be at Sophie’s office. And even then, she had never talked with anyone, and she didn’t know any of the people Sophie or Louis talked to.

She wasn’t very fond on the New Frontier people.

So she had to admit she was pretty surprised to see the twenty-or-so soldiers in the yard, unpacking supplies and helping each other out of the cars. Two men were helping a wounded woman on one of the picnic tables, where Ruby was placing her medical supplies to treat the wound. Most of them had guns, from assault rifles to small handguns, but barely any other military uniform, besides two or three guys with army jackets. They were all adults of different ages, both old and young, except for one kid that looked strangely familiar, who was helping to put a tourniquet on the wounded woman’s leg.

It was so strange to see them there. To see someone who didn’t belong to the school. To see adults, specifically, as if it struck a chord of anxiety and all her walls were raised again.

She understood why Aasim didn’t want them there.

Clementine looked around, searching for Sophie or Louis. Sophie was talking to one of the men by the admin building, and Louis was nowhere to be seen.

“You go find Louis” She told AJ, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll talk to Sophie”

AJ nodded and ran off into the dorms. Aasim mumbled something about how he couldn’t believe Louis was the ‘right hand man’.

Rosie was tied to one of the columns of the admin building, barking furiously in the commotion.

There was some yelling. _Don’t you dare. She’s going to die!_ And then, a scream pierced the air and blood splashed all over the picnic table.

“I’ll go see if Ruby needs help” Aasim said, without even looking at Clementine, before walking in Ruby’s direction. When Clementine looked at the picnic table, she saw the bleeding stump where seconds ago there was the woman’s leg. The familiar kid was talking to the woman and trying to get her to calm down as she screamed. Aasim put a hand over her mouth to shut her up.

“Where are the rest?” Willy asked. Clementine had practically forgotten he was there.

“They must be in the admin building” She guessed. “You stay here and keep watch. We don’t need Lilly finding us”

Willy nodded, proud of being deemed useful for once, and turned to the watch tower.

Clementine walked up to Sophie and grabbed her arm.

“We need to talk” She said.

“Who’s this?” The New Frontier man Sophie was talking with asked, with little interest. He wasn’t very tall, but he was stocky, and he had a beard too long to be safe during the Apocalypse. The New Frontier brand on his neck glared at Clementine, and she could swear she could feel her own brand burning.

“Derek, this is Clementine” Sophie introduced her. Clementine could have slapped her.

“Wait a second” Derek said. “You’re the kid that caused all that trouble years back!”

“They should have thought about it before messing with me” Clementine retorted. She didn’t have time for that bullshit.

“Derek, Clem is on our side now” Sophie explained, with a hand on Clementine’s shoulder. “We don’ have time for infighting”

“Sophie, something happened” Clementine said. Derek looked mildly annoyed that he was being interrupted. “We need to talk”

“Can’t it wait?” Sophie asked. “We’re dealing with something important right here”

Clementine rolled her eyes. She wasn’t getting anything from her, it seemed.

“Where’s Louis?”

“He’s in the piano room. He just came back from hunting with Marlon”

“Fuck” Clementine cursed. Lilly could have seen him. “I saw a Delta soldier by the fishing shack” She blurted out, not minding whether she was interrupting or not.

Sophie looked at her with big, worried eyes.

“You shitting me” she mumbled. “Are you sure?”

“Willy recognized her. I’m sure. But not only th—”

“How curious” Derek said bitterly. “I was just telling Sophie about the Delta fucker we ran into just yesterday, but if you really need to talk so urgently…”

“No. Wait” Sophie said. The woman on the table screamed. “Let’s go inside, and then you two can explain what happened”

Δ

Inside the admin building it wasn’t much less populated, but it was certainly far quieter. Omar was handing bowls of warm food to the soldiers sitting on the ground or in the steps of the stairs, and Tenn was helping them patch up their minor wounds, such as cuts and bruises. Louis’ music echoed inside the rooms and through the walls, a cheerful jazz melody. Most of the soldiers either very old or very young, Clementine noted, and more than three quarters of them were women, as if they had ran out of middle-aged men. Yet, there was not a single kid, save for the familiar kid from outside.

“Is everything alright?” Sophie asked an old lady, placing a hand on her shoulder. The old lady smiled at her and took her hand.

“Those fuckers almost got us” She laughed with a gravelly voice. “Oh, you must have seen the look of their faces!”

Sophie smiled back, the pull of her skin stretching her scar.

“Come on” She said. “Let’s go to my office”

The only person in the office was Marlon, of all people. He was struggling with the radio transmitter, but he stopped upon seeing Sophie walk in. He immediately stood up.

“Marlon” Sophie pinched the bridge of her nose. “What the fuck are you doing in my office?”

“Guessed I’d check everything was in order” He said, gesturing at the radio transmitter. “With the New Frontier, I mean”

“Go downstairs and do something useful, for fuck’s sake” She hissed. Marlon raised his hands in surrender and walked out the door. Sophie closed it shut behind him.

“Now” she looked at Derek. “What happened?”

“We were scouting, you know” He started, absently scratching his beard. He looked so strange in the room, as an adult man in a place where Clementine had only ever seen children before. “In that town around here, when we saw these fuckers. Must have been about eight or ten of them, no more”

“A scouting party, probably” Sophie deducted. “They don’t usually go in such small groups”

“They didn’t use to be few soldiers” Derek retorted. “For all we know, they could be alone”

“Did they see you?” Sophie asked.

“Don’t think so” Derek replied. “They would have said something at least. We were making a stop, you know, so no sound engine to worry about. We hid for a bit until they walked by”

“The one I found said they were looking for you” Clementine supplied.

“They were what?” Derek asked with genuine surprise.

“You talked to them?” Sophie stood up. “Wait—Louis needs to hear this. Could you go get him?”

Clementine nodded. She gave Derek and Sophie one last wary look before leaving the room. She simply followed the music coming from the piano room to find Louis.

Marlon was by the door, listening to the music as well. Clementine tried to ignore him, but then he said:

“You know I didn’t want to cause any trouble, right?”

Clementine stopped. She really didn’t want to hear to his bullshit, but he continued:

“I know I fucked up big, but that was years ago! And I’m trying to...”

“What?” Clementine retorted. “You want to redeem yourself?”

Marlon didn’t reply. He looked at her for one long moment, and Clementine understood that she had hit the nail.

“I can fix things”

Clementine turned her head and grabbed the doorknob.

“Do what Sophie said and go outside” She commanded. Marlon looked down and obeyed.

Louis was, effectively, in the Piano Room, with capital letters, playing for AJ. Clementine sighed in relief when she saw them both happily chatting, safe and sound. She could allow herself to let her guard down and forget about the New Frontier soldiers and Lilly for a moment.

Godammit, Lilly…

“Clem-ster!” Louis called her. Clementine rolled her eyes at the stupid nickname. “I see you’re back from doing your super fun chores!”

“Yep!” Clementine replied, approaching them “I couldn’t wash _all_ the clothes myself. Had to leave some fun left for you guys”

“Thanks. That’s very generous of you”

It was warm inside, so Clementine took off her heavy coat. Her beloved leather jacket hadn’t been her only outfit in months, and the colder weather called for warmer clothes. Besides, the sleeves were still wet and cold.

“What are you playing?” She asked, sitting down next to Louis on the piano bench. It sounded a bit like jazz. Or was it blues? She didn’t know a lot about music.

“It’s an ode” Louis explained cheerfully. “To all the clothes we’ll have to wash now that the adults are here!”

Clementine chuckled.

“To get them to wash their own clothes”

“Amen!” He gestured to the music sheets he was reading with his head, never stopping playing. “Could you turn them for me?”

Clementine turned the pages, only to see they were blank.

“Uh…” She looked at him. “They’re blank”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Looking at the blank pages inspires me. Like blank canvas!”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“Really?”

“Nope!”

He lazily played one final chord.

 “AJ… uh” Louis mumbled. “AJ told me about what happened. Kind of”

“He did?” Clementine asked. She looked at AJ, who was reading one of the books and probably listening to them. “What did he say?”

Louis scratched the back of his neck.

“Something about a Delta soldier catching you and letting you go, I think. Are you okay?”

“…Yeah” Clementine crossed her arms and rested her head against his shoulder. She suddenly realized how suspicious that must have looked for everyone else, especially considering how casual and cordial Lilly had been with her, considering the circumstances. “About that… Sophie wanted to talk to you” She looked at AJ. “Could you go make sure she’s still in the office?

AJ nodded dutifully.

“I’ll go find her”

He ran out of the room, leaving Clementine and Louis alone.

“You okay?” Louis asked, playing with her hat.

Clementine forced a smile.

“Yeah. Yeah. Just…”

“AJ said you knew her” Louis said. “The woman, I mean. I think you owe me a tragic backstory now” When Clementine remained silent, he nervously added. “If you want to, of course! It’s okay to keep tragic backstories for yourself. It’s called self care”

“She was… an old friend, I guess” Clementine said. “I’ll tell you the whole story once we’re with Sophie. I don’t want to tell it twice”

Several minutes later, they were gathered in Sophie’s office, with Clementine, Louis, AJ and Sophie. Derek was there, too, for some reason. Clementine considered asking him to leave, because she didn’t know him and she didn’t _trust_ him. But she realized that would be way too suspicious, considering her story with Lilly and her story with the New Frontier, so she let him stay.

“Alright” Sophie said, taking a seat. “Clem, could you tell us exactly what happened?”

Clementine crossed her arms, looking at Sophie, sitting on her chair like the leader she was. She was giving her an encouraging smile.

“The woman I ran into by the river” She started. “Her name is Lilly. We knew each other, back when all of this started”

“All of this…?” AJ asked, confused.

“I think she’s talking about the beginning of the outbreak” Louis deducted. “You weren’t born yet, little man”

“Oh, right” AJ mumbled, remembering the talk with Lilly. Clementine gave him a sad look before continuing.

“She was pretty good friends with Lee” She continued. Everyone already knew who Lee was, after months of telling stories of him. “And she was always nice to me”

“Who?” Derek asked with a rough voice.

“He took care of her when she was little” AJ explained.

“So, your dad”

 “I saw her hit you” AJ reminded her.

“Clem” Sophie intervened. “Please continue”

Clementine nodded slowly.

“I hadn’t seen her in eight years. She killed a woman, stole our RV and I just… assumed she died”

“Well, no offense to her” Louis said. “But it sounds like she sucks at dying”

 “Did you tell her anything?” Sophie asked. “About us? About _here_?”

Clementine shook her head.

“I would never” She promised. She put a hand on AJ’s shoulder. “We told her we were alone, and she offered us to go to the Delta with her”

“She… _offered_ you” Louis stated. “As in, made you an offer. Asked about your feelings”

Clementine shrugged. She was confused as well.

“She was… kind of nice, I guess. After she realized it was me” Clementine guessed. “She said she… _they’d_ been following a group moving around in cars, and checked my neck. I think she was looking for the New Frontier brand” She didn’t miss Derek’s eyes staring at her. “She asked me if I’d seen them, I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about. She then insisted that I went to the Delta, I refused, and then…” she frowned at the mere thought. “She told me to get the out of here if I didn’t want to be taken”

“Well” Louis put his hands on his hips. “Sounds like we’re fucked”

““I… I know Lilly” Sophie said. “She was like… some sort of mentor, I guess. Back at the Delta. The Lilly I knew would never let a recruit go”

“Well, she did”

“She must have cared a lot about you, then” She stood up. “O—okay. So…”

“So, the fuckers did know where we were” Derek huffed. “Fucking assholes”

“Do you think they know you’re here?” AJ asked.

“Don’t think about it” Louis tried to comfort him.

“Clem” Sophie said gently. “Where did you say you saw Lilly?”

“By the river shack, a bit less than an hour ago”

“That’s not far” Sophie grabbed a hair tie from the desk and started to pull her hair into a ponytail. “Derek, if things go down…”

“My people are tired” He said. “And injured. We just a man and his wife just got bitten. I don’t know if they can fight”

“…The woman without the leg?” AJ timidly asked. “She doesn’t have the leg anymore. Ruby cut it off. She’s not going to die”

“I don’t know about you” Derek said. “But I don’t think she’ll be a good fighter one legged”

“But… dude, you have like… twenty soldiers!” Louis argued. “Right?”

“All adults” Derek said. “Except for the little stowaway, who, by the way, is not fighting”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Clementine asked. She knew the answer before Derek even opened his mouth.

“Most of their soldiers are children” He explained. “Because they know we won’t kill children. And they’re right” He took in a long breath. “Many of those children were stolen from us. They were New Frontier, and the idea is to take them back home unharmed”

“Wow. That’s… really dangerous” Clementine pointed out.

“You can be heartless if you want, but those kids have families” Derek argued defensively. “They belong with us, and we’re taking them home”

“Point is” Sophie said. “Lilly is close. I know her. She’s the leader of a… ‘Recruiting Party’” She looked at Louis. “They call them ‘Recruiting Parties’. Can you believe it?”

“Kid” Derek grumbled.

“Right. Right. She works with Abel, so I’d expect to see him again” She said to Clementine. “She was the one who trained me, with Minnie and Violet. She knows me. And she thinks I’m dead, too, which makes this hard” She crossed her arms. “The whole point of the school is that it’s hidden. The Delta has no idea where we are, or that we work with the New Frontier, or that we spy on them, and Minnie or Violet couldn’t have told them, because we were unconscious for most of the trip there, and even if we weren’t I don’t think they’d remember the way”

“So?” Louis asked.

“So, I think Lilly was telling the truth. She has no idea we’re here—She has no idea we exist, for starters. That’s good”

“That’s your only advantage, kid” Derek pointed out. “Lose that…”

“And even if we manage to fight them off, they’d come back. Richmond is way too far to retreat there, so we’d be out in the open”

“What do you suggest?” Clementine asked. They didn’t have much options. Chances were they already knew where the school was.

“Lead them away from the school” Sophie said. “They must have already noticed the building, but they have no reason to believe anyone but the New Frontier is here”

She reached inside one of the desk drawers and picked a map of the school and its surroundings. It had been made by the kids, but it was incredibly accurate. The school was represented by a black star in the middle of the map, and it showed the traps outside the school gates, the hunting grounds, the Ohio River, the train station, the fishing shack and even the nearest town, several miles away.

“Now” She started. “They might get to the building, but they can’t find us. Just checking the school will give away that someone lives here, so we need to make sure they look for us somewhere else, so once they’re gone we won’t have lost this place, and they won’t have any reason to come back and look for us”

“The train station” Clementine muttered. “That’s far enough, right?”

“Hm” Derek hummed. “Smart. If you make noise here…”

“We’ll catch their attention. I think Mitch can manage something” Sophie finished. “If they’re looking for you, you’re their biggest priority, so you’d have to lead them there”

“We can’t leave anyone behind” Clementine said. “If they get here, they’re lost. Especially if they’re wounded”

“We can’t all travel” He protested. “And we can’t put the kid in danger. They’ll cut my balls off if something happens” He looked at Sophie. “Let them hide here. You must have a basement or something”

Sophie thought about it for a second.

“We do have a basement… I guess we can lock and hide the door”

“Thank you. God bless you, kid” He thanked her. “I have a flare gun” He offered. “If that helps”

“That’s great” Sophie smiled. She grabbed a pencil on the desk and held it over the map. “Okay. Here’s the plan”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter in which I stop giving fucks about chapter lenght.  
> I really wished the game would have explored Clementine's relationship with Lilly a bit more. Needless to say the "We were family once. You won't hurt family" part is one of my favorite ones in the game and GODAMMIT Lilly was one of my favorite characters in Season 1 she deserved better than to be turned into a cartoon villain. Make her at least an Anti-Villain. Even an Anti-Hero. I feel like the writers just assumed everyone hated Lilly but!!! no!!! Give me morally grey Lilly back!!!
> 
> Chapter Six: "Alone, Made of Ice", will be posted on July 5th, 2019.


	7. Alone, Made of Ice

_“My body is made of boiling water_

_that keeps me from starting storms_

_These mountains are covered in a powder_

_that keeps me from feeling warm_

_Keep me alive, make me cold_

_Carve me up, and I will shine”_

–“[Alone Made Of Ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM0daiDlCQ0)” by Maldito.

 

Δ

As soon as the New Frontier men and women had finished unpacking what they’d need during their stay, they started packing up again on Sophie’s orders. They groaned and complained under their breath, but they didn’t waste a second and in a matter of minutes, they were ready to leave again.

The stowaway kid, as Derek had called her, was struggling to get the one-legged woman on a wheelbarrow she’d found somewhere. Tenn was helping her, but they didn’t seem to be making a lot of progress. Clementine couldn’t stop thinking about how familiar she looked.

She was small, and the woman was completely unconscious, so as soon as Clementine had finished helping the soldiers pack their things, she approached her, followed by AJ.

“Need help?” She asked.

“Yes, please” She replied. This time, with Clementine and AJ’s help, they managed to lift the woman and placed her on the wheelbarrow. The woman was a stranger, but now that she saw the kid clearly, she recognized her.

“Mariana?” She asked, pretty sure she had pronounced her name wrong, but the girl didn’t seem to mind.

“Oh, Clem! I suspected it was you, but I wasn’t sure” She exclaimed. “It’s good to see you”

She was almost as tall as her now, and was wearing a thick, fur-lined brown coat. A hunting rifle hung on her back, the strap holding it across her chest, but besides that, she looked almost the same as she had three years before.

“…Thanks” Clementine replied.

“Who is she?” AJ asked timidly.                                                                                                

“AJ, this is Mariana” Clementine explained. “Remember I told you about Javier? This is his niece”

“Oh! So this AJ” Mariana smiled, looking at the boy. “Clem talked a lot about you. Like, _a lot_ ”

“Come on, I didn’t talk _that much_ about him!”

“He was all you ever talked about!” Mariana playfully argued. “Come on, help me with this” She turned to Tenn. “You too, Tenn. I could use your help”

Clementine was surprised to find Tenn flustered and blushing.

“O—Okay” He stuttered. He followed Mariana to one of the pickup trucks, where a big number of firearms, from handguns to machine guns, waited to be checked and loaded.

“Do you know how to load these?” She asked, handing Tenn a handgun and sitting on the truck bed. Tenn timidly shook his head. Mariana proceeded to show him how to do it.

“Tenn is acting weird” AJ pointed out in low voice.

Clementine just smiled. She realized Mariana must be thirteen at the moment, curiously the same age Clementine had been when they first met, and Tenn was the only boy around her age in the school. Well, besides Willy, but she doubted Willy and Mariana would get along that way.

“Could you two help as well?” Mariana demanded. AJ didn’t hesitate to pick a gun and check it was in good conditions. “We need to load them, so they’ll be ready to use”

There were several bullet boxes inside the truck, some of which Clementine didn’t even know how to use, as she had never handled an actual machine gun, and Mariana had to show her. It was a bit embarrassing.

“Why didn’t you come back?” Mariana suddenly asked her as she helped her load the guns correctly. “We could have used your help, back at Richmond. Gaby was waiting for you”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“Gaby?”

“Gabe. You know. But… ‘Gaby’ is the right way to say it”

“...Okay” Clementine shrugged. “There was this big conflict in the area when I got AJ back. It was just as the ranch was being raided…”

“The McCarrol Ranch?” Mariana asked. Clementine nodded. “Yeah. That was… a big loss. They had a lot of children there, so that was one of the first places the Delta attacked”

“And after that, we just… kept moving. Stayed on the road. We didn’t want to get too close to Richmond because of everything going on there, but…”

“But you can’t run away forever” Mariana finished. “I know you’re not too fond on the New Frontier, so I understand you’d rather be away from us”

“It’s not personal” Clementine explained, earning a raised eyebrow from Mariana. “Okay, it’s a little personal. I mean… it’s not about you or your family. You’re cool”

“You really are!” Tenn awkwardly added. “You’re… Uh…. You’re really cool”

Mariana smiled.

“Thanks, Tenn” She said. “You’re cool too”

Clementine bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

Mariana’s expression shifted from playful to serious in a second.

“Clem… There’s something you need to know”

Clementine’s stomach sank, not daring to think about the possible bad news.

“What is it?”

Mariana put down the gun she was working on and took a deep breath.

“My uncle didn’t want me to come here. He said it was too dangerous, but I had to” She started. “They took Gaby”

It took a second for Clementine to process those words.

“What?” She asked, not wanting to believe her.

“They took my brother” Mariana repeated. “We were fighting them, even though Javier told us not to, and I saw them… I saw one of them… Pull him into their trucks and drive away” Her head gave a tiny twitch. She let out a shaky breath. “They took him. I know what they’re doing to him” She clicked and cocked her gun. “And I’m going to get him back”

Clementine stared at her in silence, and she realized with horror how much Mariana was like her when she was her age. Angry after her brother was taken from her, ready to kill to get him back.

AJ took Clementine’s hand.

“I’m sorry” Tenn muttered, putting a hand on Mariana’s shoulder with hesitation. “I… I really hope you get him back”

Mariana smiled sadly and hopped off the truck bed.

“Derek said I have to stay, which is stupid” She said. She looked at Tenn. “You’re staying too, right?”

Tenn opened his mouth to say something, but Clementine interrupted him.

“He has to come with us” She said. “We can’t risk them finding someone from the school”

“I’ll be safer at the train station” He reassured her. “Don’t worry”

Mariana smiled at him.

“Good luck” she said.

“And Mari…” Clementine took off her hat. “Could you please take care of this? It’s too recognizable”

“Sure” Mariana took it and hid it in her backpack. “How old is this thing?”

“Older than me, actually” Clementine chuckled. “It was my dad’s”

After Mariana was gone and Tenn was helping her secure the basement, AJ sat on one of the truck beds and asked:

“Who’s… Gaby?”

Clementine looked down.

“Gabe was my friend” She told him. She skipped the part in which she had kind of had a crush on him. “He helped me when I was trying to get you back”

“Do you think he’s dead?” AJ asked.

“He’s not necessarily dead” Clementine corrected him. “They don’t want to kill the kids. They need us”

They need _them_. She meant to say they needed _them_ , without including AJ and her in the equation.

Because if she included herself and AJ into the vulnerable group, that meant accepting the possibility, accepting the danger was real and telling her six years old brother, almost seven, that there were people out there who wanted to take him from her, to hurt him and force him to hurt people.

It meant accepting people would take her little brother from her.

AJ nodded solemnly.

“They won’t take us” He stated. “I won’t let them”

Clementine smiled sadly at him.

Take him away, just like they had taken Mariana’s brother away from her.

“Don’t worry about it, Goofball” She ruffled his hair. “They’re not taking us. They’re not taking _you_ ”

She put a hand on his shoulder.

Because—because she _couldn’t_ allow them to take him. She couldn’t let him be taken from her, she couldn’t... She’d break if he was taken. They’d break him and she would break.

“I’d do anything to protect you. You know that, right?”

AJ looked at her with big, trusting eyes.

“Even killing?” AJ asked.

Clementine nodded with hesitation.

“If I have to. Even killing”

AJ nodded, thoughtfully.

“I love you, Clem” He said.

Clementine pulled him into a hug, holding him impossibly close to her, in the safety of her arms, where no one would take him away from her ever again.

“I love you back”

 

Δ

Night fell quickly. The New Frontier soldiers parted by car, slowly and with the lights turned off, down the road, while Mariana and a few wounded soldiers stayed behind in the basement, with Rosie to protect them, and Clementine and the kids took the horses, galloping towards the train station.

AJ was on the same horse as Clementine and Louis, between her arms. He was silent and petrified, with his gun in his hand.

“You’re not going to fall” She reassured him, guessing that was what he was scared of.

“I know” he replied dryly.

“You know, when I dreamed about running off into the horizon with a girl, I didn’t think it’d be this way” Louis casually commented. His arms were wrapped around Clementine’s waist from behind. Some months before, the contact would have made her nervous and flustered, but quickly realized Louis and her worked far better as friends.

“What did you think it would be like?” She asked him.

“I don’t know, but I thought it’d be nice if we weren’t running towards our imminent deaths” he replied. “Just a thought”

It was the first time any of the kids took part in an actual confrontation with the Delta, and the tension was visible.

Shortly after they arrived to the train station, killing the few walkers wandering around and tying the horses to the railing by the station, behind a makeshift fence to keep them safe from the walkers and relatively hidden from view, so that they would rest after being forced to carry more than one person each.

“Okay” Sophie whispered, pulling on her hood to hide her red hair. “Mitch, do you have it?”

Mitch gave her a devilish grin and fished something out of his pocket. In the darkness, Clementine guessed it kind of looked like a canteen, or a strange box.

“With this baby, we’re definitely gonna catch their attention”

“Woah!” Willy exclaimed, running up to him and examining his new invention. Some sort of bomb.

“When the hell did you make that?” Brody asked.

“I have a few of these stored, just in case”

“Has anyone thought about the walkers?” Omar pointed out. “I don’t really feel like getting eaten alive today”

“Dude, you got it wrong” Louis said. “That’s part of the experience”

“Omar is right” Sophie said, ignoring Louis. “That’s why we’re gonna stay here. We’re gonna climb on top of that” She pointed at one of the train wagons lying around, like dead machines. “Or… The roof of the station. Or anywhere you want, really. Where you won’t be seen. Just don’t be alone”

“What are we supposed to do when they arrive?” Clementine asked. “Kill them?”

“Killing them would be a good idea, but that’s not the point” Sophie explained. “The point is to make them think we’re New Frontier, so they won’t know there’s anyone at the school and they won’t come back for us”

“So, not getting caught would be the ideal, right?” Louis said.

Sophie nodded.

“Don’t take risks going after them if they leave. If they’re following Derek, they’ll go after them and leave us alone, and they can deal with them a lot better than us”

They all nodded.

The clock was ticking.

Clementine’s first impulse was to follow Louis, with AJ by her side, bow and arrow ready to wait until Sophie fired the flare gun and hell came looking for them. So she found herself on top of a train wagon, next to Louis and AJ, observing the train station from above.

“So!” Louis cheerfully exclaimed. “What do you think will happen? Will we get kidnapped? Murdered? My money is on murdered”

“…We’re gonna win” Clementine stated, eyeing AJ and hoping Louis would get the message. “Because no one here is going to die” She squeezed AJ’s shoulder.

“Uh—right! Right. No one’s going to die, little man” Louis corrected his mistake.

“You don’t know that” AJ dismissively said.

Clementine and Louis exchanged a look. Louis’ eyes were full of worry, and Clementine didn’t know what to say.

“Are you scared?” Clementine asked him.

“Nah” Louis shrugged. “Just terrified. But it’s okay. I’m more scared of Sophie’s wrath once she finds out what happened to the snacks”

“…And what happened to them?”

“You have to promise not to tell her” He said. “Pinky promise”

Clementine chuckled. He had this way to make everything scary seem far away.

“Okay, I promise” She said. They locked their pinkies.

“You too, little dude” He extended his pinky to AJ. “I’m sorry, but we just can’t risk Sophie finding out about the super secret ninja mission I went on”

AJ laughed and mimicked Clementine’s previous action.

“Okay” Louis smoothed the fabric of his coat. “So…”

“Hey!” A voice called. “Can I be with you?”

“Sure!” Louis replied, quickly forgetting about his big confession.

He helped Marlon up, on top of the wagon.

Clementine turned around when she realized who it was, with a hand still on AJ’s shoulder. Fun was over, it seemed.

“Hey” Marlon greeted them. “Everything okay up here?”

“Yes” was Clementine’s dry response.

“…Anyways!” Louis clapped his hands. “We were just making our bets. Clem-ster here says we’re all going to live. What do you think?”

“Bets? Seriously, Lou?” Marlon shook his head playfully.

“Hey! There’s always time for bets!” He said. “For example, I bet those smelly bastards down there are going to save the day!” He gestured at the few walkers below that had started to gather around. “Now _that_ would be a plot twist”

“But you just said we’re all going to die!” AJ protested.

“Changed my mind”

Marlon chuckled. Clementine and AJ observed Sophie, on top of the train cabin abandoned opposite to them, on the rails, overgrown with plants and covered in debris. She was with Brody, Aasim and Mitch, working on the flare gun.

“Guys…” She warned them.

Sophie aimed at the sky and fired.

There was a loud bang and a whistle, and a red flare shot up to the sky, lighting the night in the color of blood as it kept going on and on, higher and higher until Clementine thought it’d just disappear among the clouds. Then it gave a turn and started to fall, swiftly to the ground, somewhere maybe half a mile away.

Now, they’d wait.

She instinctually froze, in silence, before the sound of Marlon and Louis bickering reminded her that she was _supposed_ to make noise this time. Mitch was giving Willy another small bomb, just like the one he had.

“You know, I was wondering” Louis started. “What if one of them is here?”

“One of them?” Marlon asked.

Clementine wished she had grabbed her binoculars. She realized they would most likely not hear the Delta soldiers coming, as they went by foot. They would have to watch for them, and it was dark and the forest provided a good cover.

Her heart started to beat faster.

They’d be there soon. She could die. AJ could die. Or he could be taken. And she just—She couldn’t allow that to happen.

Her hand went to the handle of her knife. She needed to be ready.

“You know, Violet. Or Minnie”

“I doubt they’d bring them here, Lou” Marlon contested. “They’d have already came back if they were around”

“I know, I know, but…. What if they can’t? What if this is our chance to get them back? What if we hurt them on accident? I mean, I love Sophie, but she’s not our most skilled swordswoman”

“We’ll be careful, then”

Silence fell over them for a moment. She could tell Louis was thinking about something.

Mitch lit the bomb and threw it before it exploded on the ground. The explosion wasn’t big, but it was loud. It thundered in the night and echoed against the wagons. The horses neighed in terror. Clementine’s heart raced painfully at the sound.

Sophie made a gesture across the passage between the two wagons.

“Lou!” She called “Come here! I need you for something!”

“Well, duty calls” Louis said. “Make sure not to die in my absence. That would be a real downer” He gave Clementine one last look and offered her a fist-bump she accepted before climbing down the wagon. He ran across the passage witch Chairles in hand and climbed on Sophie’s side.

Clementine was suddenly uncomfortable with Marlon’s presence, without Louis by her side.

She put a hand on AJ’s shoulder again and pulled him closer to her.

In the silence, far away, there was the sound of stuttering gunshots and screaming. The Delta and the New Frontier, fighting a war like the millions that had preceded it, dying like the millions of soldiers that had died before them.

It was almost ridiculous.

Clementine just hoped no one too important got hurt.

“I’m sorry” Marlon said suddenly. Clementine looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “About the girls. I shouldn’t—I was scared”

“Uh…” Clementine raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m sorry I gave them away, all those years ago” He mumbled. “I should have never done that”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t have done that” Clementine reprimanded him. “…Why are you apologizing to me?”

“I don’t know” Marlon replied. “I know I fucked up. I was… I was only fourteen, Clem. I didn’t know what to do”

She knew he was trying to get her to feel pity, and she hated herself because it worked.

If people judged her for what she’d done when she was fourteen…

She let him talk.

“I’m trying to make things better. I want to fix things.” He continued. “Sophie wants me dead”

“She doesn’t”

“She left me to die”

“You gave her away”

His shoulders dropped. He looked down.

“Maybe I should give her what she wants”

Clementine’s stomach dropped.

“Marlon” She started. “Are you planning on sacrificing yourself tonight?”

He shrugged.

“Maybe that’s what it takes to fix things”

“What will fix things is to get the girls back” Clementine retorted. “Not more sacrifice”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Maybe sacrifice is necessary, sometimes”

He became quiet after that. Clementine didn’t know how to reply to that, so she just didn’t.

AJ looked at her. She wondered what he was thinking about. Did he pity Marlon? Did he think he was pathetic?

“I _will_ fix things” Marlon stated.

Clementine didn’t reply.

God, what it would do to Louis if Marlon got himself killed trying to do something heroic. She didn’t want to see her friend in pain.

The sound of engines made their way in the night. Far away, driving towards them through the road, a series of familiar cars came in their directions, with the lights on. The one at the front started to flicker its headlights, on and off and on again very quickly.

“That’s the sign!” Sophie yelled. “Willy, get the bomb ready”

On the other wagon, Willy struggled with the second bomb.

The cars were closer and closer every second.

Just after they drove past them, along the road and away from the station, the bomb exploded.

A bit too soon, maybe, and the bang was so loud Clementine worried she’d go deaf. The explosion wasn’t just sound, but a flash of light and destruction, too. It raised a giant cloud of dust and smoke that seemed to never end, engulfing the entire wagon the other kids were standing on and reaching Clementine and AJ, even so far away from them.

They were hidden from sight, covered by a thick blanket of smoke.

The New Frontier soldiers drove away, leaving them to their luck.

After the dust had settled, minutes after, she could see a big part of the wagon they were standing on had been damaged, to the point it would be nearly impossible to climb on top of it again.

Smart.

Walker after walker gathered around. They were banging against the wagons, and they would have gotten to the horses if it weren’t for the improvised fence.

There were gunshots.

Clementine, AJ and Marlon recoiled away from the edge of the wagon, out of sight, as the stuttering sound of machine guns broke the night. Flashlights lit the night and Lilly yelled something down there.

“We know you’re here!” She announced. “We don’t have time for games. Show yourselves and we’ll show you mercy”

“It’s a trap” AJ whispered.

Clementine could hear the blood running through her ears from how fast her heart beat. She couldn’t bring herself to breathe.

This was it. And the fight was just staring.

On the other wagon, Sophie secured her hood on place and grabbed her handgun to shot blindly at one of the soldiers.

There was a thump of a body falling. Clementine couldn’t see them, but she heard the outraged screams.

“Fuck! No!” A little, childish voice cried.

“No!” Lilly yelled. “You piece of shit” she growled. Her friend, whoever it was, wasn’t a danger anymore and that was all Clementine cared about.

She growled.

“I’m sure Garcia thought he was so smart, sending you here” Lilly mocked. “Bet he thought am ambush would take us out”

Bullets flew right over Clementine’s head. She threw herself down, pressed against the metal wagon, pulling AJ close to her. The bullets couldn’t go any further than the wagon’s edge, but if she stood up, it could be the death of her.

“I won’t say it again” Lilly started. “You don’t get to hide after you kill one of us”

Clementine crawled closer to the edge, gun in hand and heart in her throat. And just got to aim at Lilly’s head.

She couldn’t pull the trigger.

And it should be easy, it really should. This was _Lilly_ , the _child kidnapper_ , the one who turned kids into soldiers and forced them to kill. Getting rid of her shouldn’t be something Clementine’s heart found hard to do.

And yet… This was… this was Lilly who she was talking about. Lilly! Who had been for her in the beginning. Who had protected her at the motel and at the farm and had been so patient with her and had kept her away from Larry’s rage whenever he got angry at Lee and misdirected his anger at her, at a little girl. She knew Lilly. They’d… They had been family, once. Maybe they still were, in some strange and abstract sense. How could she kill Lilly?

Someone—not Lilly—fired at her, barely missing before she retreated back away from the edge.

“Fine. Have it your way”

The sound of someone climbing the wagon sent her into a total panic. She roughly grabbed AJ’s arm and pulled him, running towards the other edge of the wagon and climbing down after Marlon. She handed her gun to AJ once on the ground and gripped her knife as she waited around the corner of the wagon, hearing someone approaching. Before they even turned she had already kicked them down and stabbed them on their head. Marlon shot at the soldier on top of the wagon.

Gunshots had started again at some point. Someone was screaming, but Clementine couldn’t recognize them as any of the kids. She hid behind a pile of debris with AJ, letting one of the soldiers walk right past her before racing to put a knife to the back of his neck.

Marlon threw her his gun, and Clementine caught it, confused until she saw him tense his bow, arrow ready to fire. She guessed he was more confident with it.

“Meet me at the station” he told her “I have a plan”

Clementine hesitantly nodded. He ran off.

“Come on” She told AJ, grabbing his hand and springing to the passage between the wagons. She needed to protect the rest.

Sophie and Mitch were still on top of the wagon, shooting at the soldiers from above and mostly missing. Willy was defending an unarmed Tenn, hiding behind the station building, with only bow and arrow. The rest were nowhere to be seen.

A hand gripped her from behind and pulled her down. She swung her knife and missed, cutting only clothes.

“W—what’s your city?” A small voice asked.

Clementine finally looked at the person speaking to her. 

He was a kid. Probably younger even than Tenn and Willy, holding an assault rifle bigger than him and aiming it at Clementine’s head.

“Rockingham” She mindlessly replied, her mouth running faster than her brain, barely thinking before AJ got the chance to pull out his gun.

The boy lowered his gun.

He was just a little boy.

“I… I just wanted to make sure” He said. “Don’t stay here in the open! They’ll kill you!”

AJ looked at Clementine, hopefully understanding what was happening.

“You should get out of here” Clementine advised him.  He was so small… “It’s too dangerous”

The boy shook his head.

“Lilly will kill me” He protested. “I can’t desert. You know what happens to deserters!”

Clementine opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t know what to say.

He was a little boy.

“Stay behind cover” She told him. “And _don’t shoot_. Don’t attack anyone. Wait until it’s over and leave. I’ll talk to Lilly”

She hoped the boy wouldn’t question why she was taking AJ with her while telling him to hide, but before he got to ask any questions, she grabbed her brother’s hand and sprinted towards the train station, behind the wagon and away from the passage where the Delta soldiers were shooting at her friends.

She hoped the fact that they were still shooting meant her friends were still alive.

She sneaked into the train station. Before she got inside, she looked at the wagon opposite to hers, and saw Sophie and Mitch, accompanied by Brody and now Omar, still holding on, shooting at the soldiers. Ruby and Aasim were feet away, hiding behind a pile of debris, shooting arrows at the soldiers. At some point, a bomb went off. The bombs had destroyed the only way to climb and the only option was to shoot from behind until a bullet hit them. She hoped they were safe enough for her to get inside and figure out whatever plan Marlon had.

She opened the door and pushed AJ inside before her, and closed the door shut.

Silence filled the air. The muffled sound of bullets continued outside, but safe behind the walls, she allowed herself to breathe.

She hoped it was quick enough. She needed to be outside, defending her people.

“C--Clem! You made it!” Marlon greeted her.

“Alright” Clementine said, crossing her arms. “What’s the plan?”

A gun clicked behind her.

“Good to see you again” A new, but familiar voice said. A shiver ran down her spine. “You fucked me up pretty bad last time we were here”

The light of a cigarette lit his face for a moment. Smoke was leaking off his mouth, like the jaws of a monster.

Clementine’s stomach dropped. She grabbed AJ’s hand and took a step back.

Abel raised his gun.

“Lilly wanted to kill me when I told her I had let two recruits go” He said. “But I bet she’s going to be pretty happy with you two”

No, no, no…

AJ immediately raised his gun but it was snatched away from him by Marlon. Clementine grabbed her own gun and fired on Abel’s direction, but it simply clicked. Marlon had given her an empty gun.

Abel chuckled and approached them more. He had a bit of a limp.

“Come on, kid. Help me get her to the cart”

He walked out the back door of the station. Somewhere outside there were the sounds of neighing and a nearly silent vehicle moving.

And Marlon…

Marlon had betrayed them.

He was pointing a gun at them.

“What is this?” She asked, putting an arm in front of AJ. She still had her knife, but it was nothing against two guns.

“I’m… I’m sorry” Marlon said. He looked on the verge of tears. “I have to”

“You’re giving us away?” AJ asked. “Like you gave Sophie away?”

“I thought you wanted to fix things!” Clementine reminded him. “Not repeat your mistakes!”

“They left us alone before and they’ll leave us alone now!” He insisted. “You don’t understand. I need to protect the rest”

Outside, there was rattling and the sound of horses.

“Marlon” Clementine said. “You can still do things right”

Marlon’s gun shook in his hand.

“I…”

“You can let us go! We can kill Abel and Lilly and be done with this!”

The words ‘Kill’ and ‘Lilly’ in the same sentence felt strange in her mouth, but she pushed away all those thoughts and focused on Marlon.

“Sophie will never forgive you if you give us away” AJ continued.

“Sh… She doesn’t have to know” Marlon said.

“She will know, sooner or later” Clementine took a step forward. “What about Louis? What will he think about you?”

“Shut up!” Marlon commanded. The gun was aiming straight to her head, and while Clementine’s rational side insisted that he wouldn’t shoot, that he needed them alive, she knew it would only take a second for him to kill her, even on accident.

Her chest hurt. Her heart was jumping hysteric inside her chest. Threatening to jump out.

No, no, no…

She didn’t want to die. She couldn’t leave AJ alone with him. She couldn’t let Abel take AJ from her.

“Wh—When did you arrange this?” She asked him. “Does anyone know?”

“No one knows” Marlon chuckled bitterly. “I used that fucking transmitter to tell them. Like I did before”

“You’ve been talking to them!” AJ realized.

Marlon looked at him.

“I have. I told them those New Frontier assholes would come around”

“Are you kidding me!?” Clementine forgot her fear for a moment as it was flooded by rage. “You’ve been spying on us? You’re destroying everything Sophie built! What were you thinking about!?”

“Sophie is stupid!” He insisted, taking a step forward and raising the gun, a mere feet away from Clementine’s head. “She’s been putting us all in danger ever since she started business with the New Frontier. We survived because we stayed hidden, and now she involves us in a war we have nothing to do with!”

“And you share information with the enemy” Clementine scoffed. “You’re a traitor”

_“Shut up!”_ He yelled again, pressing the gun to Clementine’s head. His finger twitched on the trigger, and Clementine’s stomach dropped. He was really going to shoot her. He wasn’t thinking and he was going to shoot her. Tears starter to prick at her eyes.

This was it.

“The Delta is winning” He said with a trembling voice. “There’s nothing we can do. I offer tem information for protection. Because I want to keep the kids safe” He pressed the gun harder against Clementine’s forehead. “Unlike others”

“Y—You know what to do, Marlon” She insisted, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. “Please. Help us. No one has to die or be taken today. You can make things right”

“I…” Marlon licked his lips. He was terrified. “I can’t. I don’t…”

He was interrupted by the door swinging open. Abel walked inside, with two long pieces of rope in his hands.

“It’s ready” He said, throwing Marlon one of the ropes. “Tie the boy up”

Marlon gave Clementine one last apologetic look before approaching AJ, his gun still aiming at Clementine, and roughly grabbed AJ’s arms. Clementine tried to make a movement to stop him, but then Abel took her wrists and tied them together with rope, so tight they were soon getting numb. She was forced to helplessly watch AJ struggled in Marlon’s grip.

In a moment of bravery, he made a violent movement and sank his teeth on Marlon’s hand. Marlon screamed and smacked him across the face with the back of his hand, throwing him to the ground.

“No!” Clementine growled. She tried to run to him, but Abel’s grip on her arm didn’t allow her to move.

AJ was only six. He was too little. She didn’t want to imagine what being hit on the head so hard could do to him.

“Don’t hurt him” Clementine almost begged. “Don’t…”

“Don’t make things harder than they have to be” Abel warned her. The barrel of a gun pressed against her ribs. “Come with me. No one has to get hurt today”

He stood behind her and pressed the gun to her back, forcing her to walk out of the station into the cold air night, hidden from the rest by the building.

Her knife was still in the holster. They hadn’t seen it. If she could just be quick enough and take it...

Abel gave her a push, and she almost fell over.

“We don’t have all day” He said.

“Clem…” AJ’s tiny voice called.

“It’s okay, Goofball” She turned around to see him being pushed by Marlon towards the cart. It was close, just past a hole in the fence of the station, behind the building, guarded by no one and lit by just the moonlight. It was a big cage, enough to fit at least eight prisoners inside, pulled by horses. She recognized several of these horses as the school’s horses. They had stolen them.

It couldn’t be over. No, it couldn’t. She just needed to get her knife, or alert the others… but the gun in Marlon’s hand, pointing at AJ’s head, told her it wasn’t a smart idea.

Two against two. Her heart raced and hurt. If she could separate them, only for a moment…

“They’ll see you” Clementine warned them. “They’ll see the cart and they’ll go after you”

“No one will see shit” Marlon said with a quivering voice.

“No, she’s right” Abel said. “I’ll get the cart further away. You think you can handle them, kid?” He gestured at Clementine and AJ with his gun.

“Of course I can” Marlon assured, straightening his back.

Abel gave him a look full of something that Clementine guessed was disgust before limping towards the cart. As soon as he got on it and made the horses start to walk, Clementine turned to Marlon.

“Let us go” She commanded.

Marlon shook his head. He looked terrified.

“I can’t” He said. “I’m sorry. I can’t”

“Or what? They’ll take you instead?”

Marlon looked down, unable to reply.

“You’re a coward” Clementine stated. If she couldn’t convince him, she’d have to do things the hard way.

There wasn’t time to hesitate. She hit his stomach with her elbow. He howled and bent over, and she took the chance to kick him in the head. His gun flew from his hand, landing somewhere feet away.

She didn’t check if he was unconscious. She fished her knife out of the holster with some difficulty and kneeled to cut the rope binding AJ’s hands, with her heart in her throat and her lungs hurting, beating so fast she feared it might break out of her chest.

“…There” She sighed as she saw the ropes fall from AJ’s wrists. “Now…

“Behind you!” He cried. Before she could do anything, she was thrown to the dirt, hitting her head and a hand yanked her back, the neck of her jacket and t-shirt choking her as he pulled her across the rocky ground.

“You’re not going to ruin this!” Marlon screamed. A boot hit her head and her vision went dark for a moment. Her hear pounded painfully against her ribs. She tried to scream. No sound came out. Her neck was being choked. It hurt.

They were going to take her. They were going to take her. It was over. Marlon had betrayed them and they were taking her.

“I’m going to fix things!” Marlon screamed. Clementine kicked and tried to break free, but her vision was blurry and she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t—

A gunshot.

_Bang—!_

And blood.

Blood splashing all over her. And a gurgling sound.

“What the fuck is this!?”

It was Abel who yelled. The gun went off again. Abel’s body fell dead.

Clementine tried to crawl away from Marlon with her hands still tied together, taking in a deep, pained breath. She finally saw him.

He was holding his neck. Or rather, the space between his neck and his shoulder. And blood was pouring out, through his hands holding the wound.

His eyes were full of tears. He was in pain. He was terrified.

He fell to the ground, with his back against the wooden fence of the station.

Blood soaked his clothes. Blood soaked Clementine’s clothes, too.

He looked at Clementine and opened his mouth as to say something.

He couldn’t say anything.

“Clem!” Another voice called. “Clem! What happened!?”

Louis. Louis stood there, feet away, from the other side of the yard. Looking at them with eyes so full of fear and disbelief.

Clementine hadn’t realized until then that the gunshots had stopped. The fight was over and Louis was alive.

Blood kept pouring out of Marlon’s wound. He couldn’t talk.

Louis ran towards them, dropping Chairles to the ground.

AJ cocked the gun. Clementine only had a second to raise her head and look at him. She didn’t get to tell him not to.

And just as Louis got to his knees next to them, the gun went off one last time. A loud bang in the night, so loud, so loud. And blood, splashed all over Louis’ face now. Marlon’s blood, over his eyes and over his mouth, from the last shot.

Marlon’s eyes were wide open, staring into the nothing. The bullet had hit him dead on the center of his forehead, and left a dark red hole on it.

Clementine let out a shaky breath.

She looked at Louis. Louis’ mouth hung open, as if he were trying to say something and for the first time in his life he couldn’t utter a word.

An expression of pure, sheer horror crossed his face. And fear. And betrayal. And loss.

And AJ held the gun in his tiny hands. Bloody gun, stained with blood just like their clothes. And bloody were Clementine’s hands, too, from being so close when Marlon died.

AJ didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup! Mariana is alive here! Why? Because I love Mariana and I hate Kate. So, I made them kill Kate instead of Mariana :D The only change it would make would be that the game would have been better. Also not so subtle self-indulgent remark at A) The writers and B) The fanfic writers, for calling Gabriel "Gabe".  
> *sigh* Let me explain:  
> Gabriel is a latino boy. His name is the spanish version of Gabriel, which is pronounced in a completly different way from the english vesion. So for one, the voice actors should have either pronounced the name the right way, or not act as latino characters at all. I'm sick of Javier not knowing how to pronounce his own name. At least David know what his children's names are.  
> In spanish, the nickname for Gabriel is Gaby. It's not a term of endearment and it's not used just for children (tbh I always thought Gabriel was an old man name, because I have never in my life met a kid named Gabriel. Who knows tho things may be different in Cuba). I mean, I would know. My mom's name is Gabriela and everyone, even the people who hate her, call her Gaby. "Gabe" Doesn't exist. I would understand if he was a gringo and his name was the english version of Gabriel, but he's not! He's a latino boy! Freaking, respect his name! Or else!  
> However, as I found out, it's kinda cringy when I write characters calling him Gaby. Because lack of representation does that to you. Just so you know how bad it is, I headcanon Violet as Argentinian-American, but since I have never seen an argentinian character outside of argentinian TV (which is, btw, mostly bad), my whole nationality was thrown into the uncanny valley and now I worry it will be Cringy to write her that way in this fic. Not like it would make an actual difference tbh because she already acts in he game like the average argie would act. I'm still considering it.  
> Solution? Have only one characted call him Gaby. So Mariana will call him Gaby in this fic and there's nothing you can do to stop me.  
> *end of rant*  
> also oh look marlon's dead hehehe
> 
> (what the fuck are these notes even)
> 
> Last Capter of Act I, , "King and Lionheart", will be posted on July 10th, 2019.


	8. King and Lionheart

_“Howling ghost they reappear_  
_In mountains that are stacked with fear_  
_But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart._  
_And in the sea that's painted black,_  
_Creatures lurk below the deck_  
_But you're my king and I'm your lion-heart”_

–“[King and Lionheart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE&list=PLdTrpmlVilTi6YH4YKb-VIVY8STP_dK7e)”, by Of Monsters And Men

Δ

_She had watched Sophie die._

_She had convinced them to go on a stupid suicide mission. For what? What was her fucking goal? What did she expect would happen?_

_But before things got worse, thank god, there was a shift. And then Sophie was being held down. And a read head lingered above her red head and red was the blood on the knife and then there was red on red on red and she remained silent, a mere spectator, feet away, as the red spilled more red on the water red like the moon some nights, and red like the hands holding her by her shoulders after it was done._

_She hugged her and ran her red fingers through her hair, staining it red like the red on the red head, the only color she had left, the only color who would ever love her anymore after she watched the red be spilled red on the water._

_Sophie’s promise was meaningless. There was no home out there. All she had was the red on red and if the red wanted to spill her red on the water, she would gladly let her, to become anything her beloved red wanted from her._

Δ

The return to Ericson was dark and silent after the battle.

The Delta soldier had ran away, after they noticed their disadvantageous position in respect to the kids with guns and bows and arrows and bombs above them. Lilly had ordered a retreat after realizing there was nothing they could do and after around three soldiers have fallen. Four, counting Abel.

She cursed Javier García’s name one last time before leaving.

They found them together, the three of them. Clementine, hand tied and bloody-handed, AJ with his gun and Louis sobbing uncontrollably and yelling at them.

“You killed him!” He screamed at AJ between sobs as Clementine stood between the two. “You fucking murdered him!”

He didn’t stop until Sophie showed up, cut the ropes tying Clementine’s hands and told him to back off.

They took the cart the Delta soldiers had left behind and the remaining kids used it to go back to the school.

Mariana and the rest of the New Frontier that had taken refuge in the basement left as soon as they saw them arrive, but Clementine didn’t have a chance to talk to them. As soon as they’d returned to the school, the kids locked Clementine and AJ in their room. _Actually_ locked them, with key and probably also a chair on the other side, in case she tried to break out again. But she wouldn’t dare to try.

It took her several sleepless hours to process what had happened.

“Clem?” AJ asked. She raised her head to look at him, sitting down on his bed. She was picking at her fingers. She never picked at her fingers.

“What is it, AJ?” She asked, trying her best to make her voice sound like she wasn’t about to cry.

AJ fidgeted with his hands for a moment.

“Am I a murderer?” He asked with a string of voice.

The question shouldn’t have kicked all the air out of her lungs. It shouldn’t make her eyes water.

“You’re…” And the worst of all was, she didn’t know how to answer. “You’re not a murderer” She told him, without being very sure herself.

AJ had killed Marlon.

He had also killed Abel, but no one really cared much about that. Sophie, Aasim, Mitch and Willy all had killed Delta soldiers as well, and the rest had assisted them on it. No, killing Abel wasn’t something anyone was angry about. Hell, the first time shooting Marlon may not even have been a bad thing. He was hurting Clementine. He was dragging her towards the cart to be given away to the Delta. And AJ had done the only thing he could to protect his big sister. Clementine thought it was justified, and she was sure the others would think it was justified, too. It was self-defense, and they had no other choice.

The third bullet, though…

Marlon was unarmed, harmless, really, and wounded, but it could be fixed. And to be shot in that state, when everything could still be somewhat fixed, right in front of his best friend…

Louis was destroyed.

He hadn’t stopped crying the whole ride to the home. He kept his distance with Clementine and AJ, with Sophie, on her horse, between them, tall and protective.

She’d lost it. Her friendship with Louis. Clementine had lost it. Destroyed it in a minute. Gone. It broke her heart more than anything else. She wasn’t going to miss Marlon, but she was going to miss Louis. She was going to miss his laugh and she would live forever with the guilt of having hurt him so bad.

She snapped out of that thought. It hadn’t been _her_. It had been _AJ_. AJ pulled the trigger. She was going to tell him not to. She never wanted this. She never wanted Marlon to die! And AJ made the conscious choice to shoot him while he was defenseless, not a threat anymore.

And yet, watching her little brother standing on his tiptoes to watch through the window, as small and adorable as he had always been, she couldn’t bring herself to blame it. Because it just… It wouldn’t be fair. He was just six years old. A little boy. He had seen his sister being choked and kicked and dragged and he was probably doing what he thought was the best. She knew there was no malice behind his actions.

AJ was a good boy. He had grown up in a world of death and violence. Clementine had tried to protect him from it as much as she could, but in the end, she had been the one to raise him.

She had made him who he was.

Everything he knew, she had taught him.

Had she taught him to kill an unarmed man? She had killed people to get him back when they first took him. Did he remember any of that?

God, what had she done?

“Louis says I am a murderer” AJ suddenly said.

“I mean…” Clementine cleared her throat. “You killed his best friend”

“He was attacking you!” AJ protested. “He wanted to give you to the Delta. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Clementine took in a deep breath. That was true. Marlon wanted to give her to the Delta. Give her and give AJ. All AJ wanted was to keep her safe.

“You’re right” Clementine managed to get out. “He wanted to give us to the Delta”

“So it was right to kill him” AJ stated. It wasn’t a question.

Clementine couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“AJ…” She started. “Killing is… It’s not okay”

“But you said you’d do it to protect me!” He reminded her. “I thought I could do that, too. I thought we were a team!”

“We are!” Clementine reassured him. “And I’m thankful you saved me. You did a very good job stopping him and getting rid of Abel”

AJ tilted his head.

“I don’t understand” He said. “You just said killing was wrong”

“It is” Clementine said. She didn’t know how to explain it to him. He hadn’t been raised with pre-conceived ideas of what killing meant. He was learning in the practice. And it was her fault. “Killing is bad, even killing bad people. But sometimes it’s necessary”

“So…” AJ doubted. “Killing Marlon was… necessary”

“It wasn’t” Clementine rushed to correct him. She took in a deep breath and put on her mother mask. She gave him a stern look and said. “He was unarmed and wounded. Abel was dead and the battle was over. He wasn’t a threat anymore and you shot him anyways”

She couldn’t keep the anger from her voice. AJ had put a bullet in a harmless boy’s head.

Maybe because it reminded her of the things she’d done.

“He hurt you” AJ muttered. He clenched his fists in anger. “I was angry”

“I know you were” Clementine tried to get her tone of voice less aggressive. “But you can’t let anger control you like that. You can’t kill people unless you absolutely have to. Do you understand that, Alvin Junior?”

AJ sighed, as if his sister was scolding him about not doing the dishes when she asked him to instead of about killing a man.

“I… I think I understand” He reluctantly said.

Clementine let out a breath.

Was it her fault?

Yes, it was.

Some minutes later, when the sun was barely rising up in the sky and is light leaked through the planks of the barred window, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in” Clementine replied, instantly knowing who it was. Only one person would knock on their prisoner’s door.

“Hey” Sophie greeted them as she opened the door and walked inside the room. She took in a deep breath, clearly not knowing where to start.

“Are you mad at us?” AJ timidly asked.

“What? No! I mean… I don’t… I don’t know, AJ” She stuttered. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her hair was disheveled. “It… It doesn’t matter what I think. I need to talk to you two”

She took a seat in the chair by the desk. AJ’s drawings were scattered over it. Sophie had helped him practice his technique these last months.

“First off” She held something up for Clementine. Her beloved hat.

Clementine smiled a little. She took it from Sophie’s hand and put it back in her head, where it belonged.

“You found it”

Sophie nodded.

“Mariana gave it to me, since you weren’t… you know”

Clementine simply nodded.

“You’ve been crying” She commented.

“Oh” Sophie muttered. “It’s just… Everyone’s… They’re not okay right now. And things can get stressful, you know?” She chuckled. “And… killing again… Nothing. It just brought bad memories. That’s all. I just… needed a break”

So, she wasn’t crying about Marlon. She was crying out of stress.

“So…” Sophie fidgeted with her hands. “This is where the not-so-fun part starts” She cleared her throat. “There rest… they’re angry at you. Especially Louis”

Clementine nodded again and tried to pretend her heart wasn’t breaking.

“I figured”

“They’re angry at AJ, too. But since you’re responsible for him…” Sophie shrugged. “They mostly project their anger on you, too. They feel betrayed”

Clementine looked down. AJ, next to her, tried to find her eyes.

“Clem…” Sophie started. “What happened, exactly? Because, honestly, that looked very suspicious. AJ kills Marlon, with Abel right there… Abel, the one you told me about months ago, remember? Right after Lilly, _Lilly_ of all people, lets you go after stumbling upon you in the woods. And that fucking cart… They use it to transport the prisoner, you know?”

“I understand what you mean” Clementine interrupted her. “But I swear it’s not what you think”

“Tell me, then” Sophie prompted. “Please”

And Clementine started talking. She told her about how Marlon had implied he’d be willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of fixing things, but then tricked Clementine into a position in which he’d sacrifice her instead. She explained how he’d confessed selling information to the Delta about the New Frontier, almost giving away the school’s position and putting he school and Derek’s party in danger, and how he’d tried to give Clementine and AJ away in order to keep the Delta away from them. And so, AJ had acted in self defense and shot him on the shoulder, killed Abel, and then finally eliminated Marlon, once he was harmless.

Sophie’s expression didn’t change in the slightest while Clementine told the story. Once she was finished, she said:

“I figured that’s what had happened. I didn’t think he’d sell information to the Delta, but it makes sense” She sighed. “Guess that just proves he never intended to change or fix things. He just wanted to rid himself of the guilt or something”

Clementine didn’t know how to reply. She didn’t know Marlon very well, but she knew that wasn’t a good justification for killing.

She was trying to be better.

“Louis was there” She reminded her. “When AJ… When Marlon died. He was right next to him”

“I know” Sophie replied. “I know. He… He’s not alright, Clem”

Guilt settled in her stomach.

Her fault.

She lost him.

She could have avoided it.

“Louis said I’m a murderer” AJ said with a tiny voice.

Sophie’s shoulders dropped.

“…That’s the other thing I wanted to talk about” Sophie cringed. “First off, I want you to know I’m on your side, guys. But the rest…” She grimaced. “They don’t… feel very safe with you here right now”

Clementine’s stomach dropped.

“W—What do you mean?”

“I mean… fuck, I hate this” She mumbled. “They’ve been talking about kicking you out”

Clementine’s heart stopped for a moment. Her brain couldn’t process what Sophie had just said.

“They can’t kick us out!” AJ jumped to protest. “Marlon did worse things and you didn’t kick him out!”

“I know, I know!” Sophie insisted. “And like I said, I’m on your side. I really don’t want you to leave. Neither do Aasim and Tenn. They voted for you to stay. But the rest… Especially Louis and Mitch…”

“Mitch?” Clementine asked. She wasn’t very close with Mitch, but she hadn’t expected him to care so much.

“Mitch and Louis are angry at you for killing Marlon” Sophie explained. “The rest are mostly… scared”

Scared of AJ, she meant. They were scared of AJ.

“…Even Brody?” AJ asked.

Sophie nodded hesitantly.

“I tried to talk to her” She said. “You know she hated Marlon as much as I did, but AJ… you killed him in cold blood. She’s just worried about…”

Clementine wished she’d stop talking. Thankfully, she did.

“So they all voted us out?” AJ asked.

“…I’m afraid most of them did” Sophie confessed. “I hate this. I really do. It’s absolutely not fair. They insisted on Marlon staying after he gave us away, but they want to kick you out now for acting in self defense?” She scoffed. “They’re biased. Louis, especially”

“I mean, Marlon was his best friend”

“His best friend gave me, my sister and his other best friend away, and tried to give you two away as well. If only he’d actually used his head for once…” She sighed.

“So… we have to leave” Clementine figured. The words made her eyes fill with tears, but she didn’t dare let them spill. She’d fought so hard, looked for so long, for a safe place, for somewhere to call home, people she could trust… a chance for AJ to have a good life.

Now it was disappearing from them. It was all pointless in the end. She was losing her home, the closest friend she had, the comfort of sleep and food every day, a future for AJ…

 She rubbed her eyes, trying to wipe the tears away before they fell.

“I don’t want to leave” AJ said. “I like being in one place. I not being hungry all the time” He walked up to Sophie. “I’m sorry I killed Marlon. I know it was un… unnecessary. Can’t I make up for it?”

Sophie chuckled.

“Actually…” She bit her lip. “I… I talked to them. And we got to some sort of agreement. I think”

This caught Clementine’s attention.

“What is it?”

“You have… history with Lilly, right?” The young leader asked, and made a gesture to her arm, where the brand was. “And you have history with the New Frontier. And listen. If I’m being honest, I’m… not happy with what happened. I’m not angry either. I’m just conflicted right now. But the others… They’ve already made up their minds. They don’t see it that way. Under normal circumstances, you’d be kicked out”

“But?” She asked, heart beating fast, daring to be hopeful.

“But, I already talked to them” Sophie continued. “You two _could_ stay, but you’d have to do something for us in exchange”

“And what would that be?” Clementine asked. She knew better than to agree without knowing the details, but she rally just wanted to say yes as quickly as possible. God, she’d do anything. Anything to give AJ a home.

Sophie fiddled with the sleeves of her blood stained coat.

“Before I tell you, I want to tell you I hate this plan. I absolutely despise it and I did everything I could to make them change their mind. But it’s the only thing Mitch would agree with”

“Just tell me”

Sophie took in a deep breath.

“…You know how Minnie and Violet are still trapped at the Delta right now?”

“You’ve told me”

AJ sat down on the bed, next to his sister, listening in silence.

“You have to understand” Sophie continued. “I didn’t want to leave them. I really wanted everyone to escape, but things just…” She shrugged with a rigid movement. “Things got out of hand. And they stayed behind. And I couldn’t do anything about it. And all these years, everything we’ve done, we did it to get them back. We don’t care about the war. For all I know, the worst thing they do, they do it because of the war itself. I’m sure they’d be a lot nicer in times of peace. The best thing to do would be to end the war in a truce, but you know how adults are” She chuckled sadly. “The New Frontier is our best chance, but they’re… not the best allies out there. You saw how they left us last night…”

“Sophie, please get to the point” Clementine asked her.

“Right, right” She straightened her back. She was really tall, even sitting down. But not in an intimidating way. “What’s the point? The point is that… Well… if you want to stay, you’d have to… um…” She scratched the back of her neck. “You’d have to… kind of infiltrate into the Delta?”

Clementine thought she hadn’t heard it right the first time. AJ looked at her for an explanation.

“What?”

“It was Aasim’s idea!” Sophie added. “And Mitch’s. Kinda. Aasim actually voted for you to stay! But that’s the only condition Mitch, Louis and the rest agreed on”

Clementine didn’t know what surprised her the most. That they wanted to send her to the Delta, just like Marlon did, or that Aasim had voted for her to stay.

“No way” Clementine found herself saying. “That’s too dangerous. You said it yourself. You really want to send me and AJ—”

“AJ wouldn’t go” Sophie interrupted her. “He’d stay here. He’d be safe”

What?

They wanted to take AJ…?

“I don’t understand”

Sophie sighed.

“Louis wasn’t very happy, but everyone agreed that if you decided to go, AJ would stay here, safe with us. First off, because I am not sending a six years old kid to the Delta. I’m not a monster. Second, you’d have no reason to choose that over simply leaving if he went with you. It wouldn’t be a choice or a deal at all. Third, because we’d need a way to make sure you wouldn’t side with them revenge, that you’d come back for him—That’s Mitch’s argument”

“I don’t want to be without Clem” AJ jumped. “I’m going with her”

“AJ…”

“It would only be for a bit” Sophie explained. “Hell, it might not even be a full month. Only until Clem brings my sister back. After that, you’ll both be allowed to stay for as long as you want”

“So that’s the plan” Clementine figured. “You want me to bring Minnie and Violet back”

“That would be the idea, yes” Sophie nodded. “You’d act as… some sort of spy. Lilly let you go when she found you, which means she has a soft spot for you. And that’s rare in Lilly. She would have stabbed anyone else. And you have believable reasons to hate the New Frontier. You’d just have to… get in, find Minnie and Violet, and bring them home. Possibly Gabriel García, too, if you can. They have their radio transmitters, so you should be able to tell us what’s going on from time to time”

“And what if I can’t?”

That was the more subtle way of asking what would happen to AJ if she died trying. What would happen if all the people she named were dead and there was no one to bring back home. What would happen if she failed. Thankfully, Sophie understood.

“AJ would stay here, with us. We’d take care of him, Clem. He’d be safe. And if…” She shrugged. “If you fail at bringing the girls back, I’d find a way to get the rest to let you stay”

“I don’t care about being safe!” AJ protested. “Not without Clem. I’ll go with her if you want us to go!”

Sophie raised her hands in defense.

“I’ll let you guys think about it. The other option would be to… well… just leave. The two of you. I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be that bad, since you could go to Richmond, if you manage to survive until you get there, especially considering the Delta has been around here for a while”

“Are those really the only options?” Clementine asked in disbelief.

“Believe me, I hate this as much as you do. I know what the Delta is capable of, and I would never send you if I had other options. But Mitch and Louis insist on kicking you out… both of you” She bit her lip. “And also… this is my sister who we’re talking about. It’s been years since I’ve last seen her. I want her back home. I want her to be safe. Wouldn’t you do this to keep AJ safe?”

She would. God, she definitely would. Anything for AJ.

AJ looked at her with big eyes.

“You won’t leave me here alone, will you?” He asked with a string of voice.

Clementine took in a deep breath.

“We’ll think about it, okay, Goofball?” She looked at Sophie. “Thank you. For trying to get us to stay”

Sophie drew a sad smile.

“I just wish I could do more” She shrugged. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice Marlon betraying us right under my fucking nose” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I mean, the transmitter was in my office! How didn’t I notice?”

“It wasn’t you fault” Clementine reassured her. “You can’t be everywhere at the same time"

Sophie made a dismissive gesture with her hand, the kind that told her she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but that she’d still blame herself, no matter what anyone said.

“You can come out now” She told them. “To have lunch, I mean. I figured you guys must be hungry”

“I’m starving” AJ commented. Sophie smiled at him.

“Hey” She said, kneeling to be at his level. “Don’t… don’t worry about what the rest say. Just stay close to your big sister, okay?”

AJ nodded.

“Okay” And after a moment, he added: “Is Tenn mad at me?”

“Oh, not at all!” Sophie reassured him. “He’s not mad at you. He voted for you to stay”

AJ smiled brightly at that. Clementine couldn’t help but smile, too. Tenn was so sweet. She just hoped AJ could keep his friendships where she had lost them.

Δ

Lunch wasn’t silent. Clementine didn’t know why she expected it to be silent, knowing Louis and Mitch. Maybe she thought no one would want to talk to her, which obviously wasn’t the case.

The tables had all been separated, so one of them was occupied by Aasim, Ruby, Omar, Tenn and Willy, while Sophie, Louis, Brody, Mitch and now Clementine and AJ took seat at the other table.

The first words to greet her were:

“Oh, now they’re eating with us?”

Louis glared at her as she approached the table, bowl of stew in hand, and AJ walking timidly behind her, looking down as he heard Louis talk.

Something between them had broken beyond repair.

“Shut up, Louis”

“You know how they repay you after you give them food” Louis continued.

“God, you’re being a real asshole right now” Sophie said as she roughly put her bowl down on the picnic table. The rest watched in silence. AJ sat on the edge of the table, with Clementine next to him, as if to shelter him from the other kids.

“Oh, _I’m_ being an asshole? Do I need to remind you what just happened?”

His voice was still a bit weak and broken by the sobbing, even though he wasn’t crying anymore, but loud as always. His eyes were red from the tears.

Clementine could almost physically feel her heart break when she heard Louis’ words. And to think they’d had been such close friends just a day before…

“We already talked about this” Sophie insisted.

“We didn’t talk shit” Mitch intervened. “We already agreed to follow your stupid plan. We never talked about keep giving them food!”

“What do you suggest? Letting them starve?”

“Why not? Maybe that’ll show them”

“Oh, come on!” Clementine protested. “You can’t be serious!”

“I’m very serious” He looked at Sophie. “Why is she even still here?”

“Clem’s one of us” Sophie reminded him. “AJ too”

“I can’t listen to this” Louis stood up and walked away towards the dorms, leaving his bowl of stew untouched.

“Lou!” Sophie called him. “Come on!”

“Soph, let him” Brody took her hand from across the table. She then looked at Clementine and opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it again.

“I didn’t want this, you know” Clementine told her. “I never wanted him dead. He was trying to give us to the Delta and AJ acted in self defense”

“Uh, Louis saw something different” Mitch said.

“Yes” Sophie responded. “He saw Marlon in the ground, with a wound on his shoulder from AJ trying to stop him”

“He was already down! There was no need to kill him!” He glared at AJ. “Or was he just pissed? What happens the next time he gets pissed? Who’s he going to shoot next?”

“Mitch, stop” Clementine warned him, putting an arm on front of AJ.

“Or what?” He stood up with a sudden movement. “Your kid here will shoot me?”

“Mitch, that’s enough” Brody scolded him.

“Why do you want to kick us out!?” AJ protested. “You didn’t kick Marlon out when he gave Sophie away! Why can’t we stay around?”

“Yeah, I’d like an answer too, Mitch” Sophie agreed.

Mitch scoffed.

“I’m not explaining myself to a kid”

“Oh, drop that shit” Sophie jumped. “You’re acting like an adult”

“What if they’re with them?” He continued, completely ignoring her. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? They knew Abel, they show up right after him, and that woman you talked about let them go. Doesn’t that sound strange to you?”

“Excuse me?” Clementine snapped. “Are you serious right now?”

“For all we know, they could kill us in our sleep tonight”

“You’re being ridiculous” Sophie dismissed him. “If you have nothing smart to say, fuck off”

Mitch scowled.

“Fuck you all” He grumbled as he took his bowl and stormed off.

Sophie sighed. Brody took her hand again and rubbed the back of it with her thumb.

“I’m sorry about that” she said. “I could have handled that better”

“Don’t beat yourself over it, love” Brody asked her.

“And I’m sorry I killed Marlon” AJ said. “I was angry and he was bad, and he wanted to hurt us”

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize to anyone” Sophie ruffled his hair. “I understand. Remember, I’m on your side. You did nothing wrong”

Clementine knew Sophie was a bit biased. She did hate Marlon, and she _had_ tried to kill him before. But on the other hand, she’d also been the one he hurt the most. Maybe she was right, and it was everyone else who was biased.

“…I wouldn’t say ‘nothing wrong’ is the best choice of words” Brody corrected. “You did kill a person, AJ. I understand it was self defense, but….”

“I know” AJ said. “I know I’m bad, too”

Clementine’s stomach dropped.

“You’re not a bad person, AJ” She reassured him. “The fact that you feel bad about it means you’re good” She put a hand on his shoulder. “But I think Brody’s right, Goofball. It was a good thing that you stopped him, but killing him was unnecessary. And in situations like those, it doesn’t matter what you feel. It doesn’t matter if you’re angry. You can’t let your emotions get the best of you. Especially when someone’s life is at risk”

AJ sighed.

“I know, I know”

Δ

Sophie gave Clementine a week to decide whether she wanted to leave with AJ or follow Aasim’s plan. Clementine didn’t have to think it a lot. No matter how mad people were, their anger was mostly directed at her, and having her gone would be cathartic for Louis and Mitch, and hopefully they wouldn’t redirect their aggression towards AJ and they’d leave him alone. And anyways, AJ would have Sophie to take care of him, and he had Tenn as a friend. She doubted anyone would go as far as to hurt him, and in any case, he still had more chances at the school without Clementine than lost in the woods with her.

So she accepted Sophie’s offer.

She kind of always knew it would end up that way. She barely even considered the other choice an actual option, but she couldn’t put AJ in danger like that.

It was clear Sophie didn’t know how to react. She was between excited about the possibility of seeing her sister again and _finally_ having her own direct plan to get her back that did not depend on what the New Frontier wanted, and heavy with the guilt and worry of sending Clementine, a girl just a bit younger than her, to the epicenter of her worst nightmares.

She made her choice as she watched AJ draw with Tenn, on the picnic table. It was right after dinner, a couple of days after the battle. Right after he finished eating, he ran off without warning to be with Tenn, choosing to be with him over being with his own sister. Clementine had been about to call him, to tell him to come back, but Sophie stopped her.

“Let him go” she had said. “You can take your eyes off him for ten minutes”

“I guess you’re right” Clementine had reluctantly agreed. Not having AJ next to her felt strange.

She had discussing plans with Sophie and Aasim (“All I’m saying, if we could fortify the school…”), but she hadn’t been able to stop looking at her little brother, in the other table, talking to Tenn. Sophie had looked so unconcerned about her own brother, so relaxed about the idea of leaving him alone…

She wondered if she was being obsessive.

“Earth to Clem!” Sophie had called her. “He’s alright. Don’t worry so much”

“I know, I know” she had replied, turning around to face Sophie and Aasim. “I’m just… thinking about a lot of things”

“Hey, listen” Sophie had put a hand on her shoulder. “He’s in good hands”

It was something _so small_ , but she realized in that moment jut how _happy_ AJ was in that place. It had given him friends and food and safety.

What had she given him?

The idea that killing a harmless boy was an acceptable thing to do.

It made her wonder if she’d been wrong. If Lilly had been right all along. If she was really the best person to take care of him.

And that thought _scared_ her. It terrified her to her core. So she pushed it away and didn’t think about it again.

But it was enough for her to realize what she needed to do.

She’d be leaving three days after she gave Sophie the news, and she waited until the last night she’d spend with AJ before telling him.

Clementine told herself it was so he wouldn’t spend the three last days he had with her sad or angry, but the truth was that she was a coward. She didn’t know how to do it. She didn’t know how he’d react, although she had an idea. She didn’t want to hurt him, even if she knew it was the right thing to do and she was only delaying the inevitable.

So she stood in front of the piano room door, where AJ was. He’d told her he’d be reading something, and Louis hadn’t touched the piano in days after all, so nothing uncomfortable would happen. The only other kids who visited the piano room anymore were Aasim and Tenn, from time to time, and they had both had wanted them to stay.

And, in fact, there they were, AJ and Tenn, drawing something on paper, with Sophie’s box of art supplies. Rosie slept peacefully by the fireplace, a sleeping giant, gentle beast. They were saving the firewood for the winter, so the fireplace was cold. Sophie’s box had everything you could think of, from charcoal to acrylics and oils, inks, graphite, color pencils, chalk, watercolors, markers and an incredible amount of different brushes, but AJ seemed to prefer the crayons.

They’d been teaching AJ how to draw, those last months. And he was getting really good.

Clementine observed them from the doorframe.

It was nice that he had a distraction from the outside world, something he actually enjoyed doing. And it was nice that he had a friend. Clementine had spent years thinking AJ would grow up without friends, unable to find anyone of his age he would click with, but he still managed to find something in Tenn.

She glanced at the piano. She would miss having a friend.

“Why do you draw so many fruits?” AJ asked Tenn.

“Sophie says it’s so practice volume” Tenn answered. “So, lights an shadows and stuff”

“…Do I have to draw a lot of fruits too?”

“Only if you want to. But it’s good to practice. I’ll show you how to do it”

Clementine smiled. She hated to interrupt them, but if she didn’t tell AJ now, she’d cower out and never get it done.

“Hey” She greeted them.

AJ raised his head, finally seeing her.

“Hi, Clem” he said. “Look at this drawing I made!”

He raised a sheet of paper. It was a dog, Clementine guessed. Probably Rosie.

“Is that Rosie?” She asked.

AJ nodded enthusiastically.

“It is! I think Rosie likes me”

Upon hearing her name, Rosie yawned and stretched, and tiredly walked up to AJ, lying next to AJ so he would pet her head.

“Good girl, Rosie” he whispered to the beast. “Good girl”

“AJ” Clementine said, straightening her back and taking in a deep breath. “I need to talk to you” She looked at Tenn. “Could you give us a moment?”

“Of course” Tenn nodded. He clapped and made kissy noises to catch Rosie’s attention, and Rosie followed him outside the piano room. Clementine closed the door behind him.

“Clem? What is it?” AJ cautiously asked.

Clementine breathed in and breathed out.

“Remember Sophie’s offer, from some days ago?” She asked.

AJ immediately understood. He was such a smart boy.

“You’re going” He figured. It wasn’t a question. “You’re going to the Delta”

“It will only be for a while” She rushed to kneel in front of him. “Until I find the girls. I’ll come back as soon as I can, I promise!”

“But you heard what Sophie said!” He cried. “You know what they do! What if something happens? What if you don’t come back?”

“I will, I promise, AJ. You have to trust me”

He pouted.

“Then I’m going with you”

“You’re definitely not” Clementine said, standing up. “I’m doing this so you can be safe. So we can both be safe, and I’m not taking you to a place like that”

AJ looked away from her and paced around the room.

“Why do you always leave me out of things?” He asked. “You never let me help you. And when I do help, you get angry”

“AJ, if this is about Marlon…”

“I know it was wrong, okay!?” He protested. “I know I shouldn’t have killed him, but I still helped you! I killed Abel. Why is no one happy Abel is dead?” He huffed angrily. “You only ever care about what I do wrong. Why can’t you be nice to me?”

“AJ, I swear it’s not like that” she said. “I do care when you do things right, but this isn’t about Marlon. The point is, you’re not coming along. You know what they do to children”

“Then why are you going? Why do Mitch and Louis want to kick us out? Ugh!” He kicked one of the piano’s legs, and the wood creaked painfully. “It’s not fair! Nothing’s fair!”

He furiously rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tears.

“Hey” Clementine sat on the piano bench and put a hand on his shoulder. “Alvin Junior, listen to me”

AJ sighed, but obeyed, listening silently.

“I know this isn’t fair” Clementine stated. “I know Louis and Mitch are wrong and I know we shouldn’t have to leave. But we don’t have another choice”

“We could leave together!” AJ suggested. “Like Sophie said. We could go to Richmond…”

“Do you even know where Richmond is? It’s pretty far away, especially on foot, and remember the car is gone” She reminded him. “If the Delta is really this close, we wouldn’t survive a day until we make it there. And I don’t think Lilly will let us go a second time”

AJ looked down.

“We’ll both be safer if I do this, AJ” she continued.

“What if we’re not?” He insisted. “What if you’re not safe? What if you don’t come back? What if you die there?”

Clementine sighed. She always tried not to think about that. It made everything harder.

“I won’t… I won’t even know” AJ sniffled. He rubbed his eyes again. “I know I shouldn’t think about it, but I can’t help it! I don’t want you to die, Clem”

“I’m not going to die” She promised. “AJ, I swear. I’ll be careful. I won’t be alone. If Mari is right, Gabe will be there, and so will the girls” She drew circles on his shoulder with her thumb. “Everything will be alright”

AJ refused to look at her.

“You don’t know that”

And the truth was that Clementine didn’t. She really didn’t know. All she could do was hope Lilly still cared about her enough to gain her trust quick enough to find the girls. Despite the things they did to children, they didn’t want them dead. She should be able to get back.

“If I go with you, I can watch your back” AJ insisted. “We can work together. I promise I won’t make mistakes again”

“This isn’t about you making mistakes” Clementine said. “This is about keeping you safe”

AJ sniffled and wrapped his arms around Clementine.

“I’m sorry I killed Marlon” He said with a string of voice, hiding his face in her shoulder. “You wouldn’t have to go if I hadn’t”

“Hey, it’s okay” She reassured him. AJ gave a tiny sob against her. A new idea sparked in her brain. “Listen, here’s the plan” She took his shoulders and separated him from her. “We’re a team, right?”

“Right” AJ sniffled.

“And as a team, we can cover more ground if when we’re apart”

AJ tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, someone has to keep the kids safe while I’m gone” She smiled when his head perked up with interest. “Sophie is terrible at fighting, and Tenn doesn’t even know how to shoot a gun. They’ve all been living here for years. Someone has to teach them how to survive”

“I don’t think they like me anymore” AJ mumbled.

Clementine sighed.

“Forgiveness takes time” Clementine agreed. “But they will have to trust you. You know more about survival than any of them do. You can teach them. And as long as Sophie listens to you, it’ll be okay”

She rubbed his shoulder.

“She’ll take care of you”

“I don’t need her to take care of me” He said. “I’m strong. And… I think I’m smart, too. I’m smarter than before”

“Before what?”

“Before we came here” He told her. “I’ve been thinking a lot. And I realized… they don’t know what to do. They don’t have a plan, like we do. They just… wait”

“They do, yeah” Clementine agreed.

“Not everyone is good at surviving” He said. “Like Tenn. And that’s okay. We just have to help them”

“That’s right” Clementine smiled at him. “But don’t put yourself in danger. Understood?”

AJ huffed.

“Yeah. Understood”

“Good” She smirked. Before he could react, she started tickling him.

“Stop!” AJ laughed.

“Don’t think so!” She tickled his ribs as he laughed and squirmed in her grip. She was about to stop when AJ wrapped his arms around her neck.

“Please come back” He almost begged.

“I will” Clementine replied, hugging him back. “I promise”

Δ

She packed her bags one day later, at morning, so early the sun hadn’t came up yet. Outside, a thin layer of frost covered the plants, the ground and the picnic tables. AJ helped her as Sophie explained her plan. Louis was on the watch tower, observing the forest outside. Clementine wondered if he had chosen to be there or if it was mere coincidence.

The picnic table Clementine, Sophie and AJ were gathered around had several cans of food, water bottles, knives, guns, clothes and a few medical supplies, such as gauze and needles and strings, scattered all over, along with a big empty backpack.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to tell them?” Sophie asked, reading the tag on one of the cans of food and putting it inside the backpack.

“I… really haven’t” Clementine confessed.

“Good!” She clapped her hands. “Because I have! Now, listen. You have to justify AJ’s absence, your reasons to join after you rejected them, and possibly that brand you have” She gestured to her arm. “So, I have conjured the perfect plan: You were with the New Frontier for a while, until they forcibly branded you and you and AJ decided to run away. You haven’t wanted to join groups ever since, but after your encounter with Lilly, the New Frontier found you and killed AJ on revenge, or something”

“Wait, you’re going to tell them I’m dead?” AJ asked.

“It’s smart, isn’t it? Sophie said with exaggerated optimism. “If they think you’re dead, they won’t try to find you”

“Huh” AJ hummed. “Smart”

“And after they kill him, you decide to join the Delta, for revenge” Sophie finalized.

“Won’t they figure I’m a spy?” Clementine asked. She gestured to her own arm. “I mean…”

“Why would they brand a spy? Not everyone at the New Frontier has a brand. Why would they send someone with a brand?”

“That doesn’t make sense” AJ pointed out.

“I guess it doesn’t” Clementine agreed.

“I know you don’t like the New Frontier a lot” Sophie said. “You won’t have to lie a lot. You’re a good liar, anyways, right?”

Clementine shrugged.

“I guess so” She said. She put a hand on the empty backpack on the picnic table. “I assume I can’t carry a lot here”

Sophie shook her head.

“Just enough to survive until you make it there. You can’t use a horse, either, unless you kill it before you get too close. It’s too suspicious. And we can’t afford to lose a horse…”

“So I’ll have to go on foot” Clementine deduced. “How far is it?”

“The main settlement is near Pennsylvania, I think” Sophie explained. She picked a map from her pocket. It showed the area of Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Maryland. Sophie pointed at a line on it. “It’s right on the Ohio River shore” She said. “You’d just have to follow it. It should take you about four or five days. You think you can make it?”

Clementine bit her lip. She wasn’t sure. It had been a while since she had lived out in the open, and the weather was getting cold. If she had to carry little food and little protection…

“We _could_ sacrifice a horse, I guess…”

She had to. She had survived worse. She could do this.

“I can do it” Clementine said confidently.

“You sure? It’s a long way there”

“I’ve walked longer distances. I can do it”

Sophie drew a big smile.

“So, you could have a few cans of food, definitely water… do you think it would be realistic if you had a knife?”

“You seem happy” Clementine commented.

“Oh!” Sophie muttered. “I mean, I guess so. It’s just… I don’t know” She shrugged. “It’s not that I’m happy you’re leaving. I’m actually devastated. It’s just… I guess it’s an instinctual thing. It kinda started when I was little, I guess”

“…When you were little?”

“Yeah. My mom always got really angry out of nowhere, and guess I learned to smile and do as she said to calm her down” She smiled at Clementine. “I’m… I’m actually scared. And I feel guilty. I… _really_ don’t want you to go there, Clem. I’m happy that you’re here and I know the kinds of things they do there. I guess they’ll go easy on you, because you’d be pretending to be on their side and won’t fight back, I hope. They’re nice to people who don’t fight back, so have that in mind”

“I will” Clementine reassured her. “…What kinds of things should I worry about?”

Sophie shrugged.

“If you behave, then about nothing. They don’t hurt their own, really. They actually care a lot about each other. It’s just the… they called us _recruits_ , you know? As if we were choosing to be there. Yeah, well, they were assholes to us, but if you actually do want to join, they’ll take you in with open arms. The others…” She shuddered. “They mostly cut out limbs. Fingers, ears, toes, they rip our your nails… nothing that will kill you or make you useless, but it will definitely put you in your place. They… uh… they might make you do it to someone else, though. It’s not nice”

Clementine knew the feeling of losing a finger. The place where her ring finger used to be suddenly ached at the mention.

“Does she have to go?” AJ asked. “I think she should stay”

Sophie gave him a sad smile.

“I wish she could, little man” She glanced at Louis, in the watch tower. “I wish she could”

Louis was close enough to hear them, and Clementine was convinced he was listening. She was surprised he wasn’t saying anything.

Sophie leaned in and whispered:

“I think you should talk to him. Maybe you could… convince him or something. I don’t know”

“You think so?”

“I just said I don’t know! But… It’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

And so, once Clementine had finished packing her things, Sophie left to give them space, and Clementine climbed the watch tower to talk to Louis.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, with an expression that was more startled than it was angry.

“I wanted to talk to you” Clementine simply replied. “I’m leaving today”

AJ stayed at the picnic table, listening but not intervening, for the moment.

“I know” Louis replied. Clementine realized he wasn’t even mad. He just looked sad. “You know, I’m going to feel safer once I know you’re gone”

Clementine’s chest physically hurt.

They used to be friends.

“I didn’t want any of this” she told him. “I didn’t want Marlon to die”

“I know you didn’t pull the trigger” He said. He gestured at AJ. “But what the fuck did you teach him?”

“Keep your voice low, would you?” Clementine chided. “I didn’t tell him to kill him! He acted in self defense. Marlon was trying to give us away, like he gave Violet away”

For some reason, she didn’t feel the need to mention Minerva. The mere mention of Violet’s name, that girl she knew nothing about, made Louis’ shoulders drop and his expression shift into one of shame and sadness.

“You really want to send me there?” Clementine continued. “Sophie told us what it’s like”

“Come on, it’s not that bad” Louis interrupted her. “You’re like… a pro at survival, right? You should do fine”

“Godammit, Louis!” She snapped. “You have no idea what it’s like out there. The only reason I’m going is so that AJ doesn’t have to leave, too” She gestured at her little brother, now drawing something on the picnic table. “He’s six. I know what it looked like, but he did what he thought was best” She took a step closer. “You didn’t kick Marlon out when he gave Violet away. This is wrong and you know it”

“What I know is that AJ shot him when he was wounded and unarmed” Louis retorted. “Oh, sorry, did you forget the part in which he murdered my best friend? I know what he did is fucked up, but he didn’t deserve to die!”

“Like I don’t deserve to be sent to the Delta” Clementine insisted. “What’s wrong with you? I thought we were friends!”

Louis opened his mouth, as if to yell something, but he closed it again.

He looked down.

“You know why I accepted Aasim’s idea? To send you there, I mean” He asked. “My best friend gave my other best friend away, and for years we’ve been trying to fix his mistake. And the best thing we could come up with to fight those assholes was to befriend a different group of assholes who haven’t fixed shit”

“What’s your point?” Clementine asked, although she felt like she already knew where he was going.

He looked away, into the deep dark forest.

“I mean, we all kind of want you gone. But mostly, I just miss Violet” He shrugged. “I know it’s selfish, but… tell me you wouldn’t do the same if someone took AJ away from you”

“When they took AJ from me, I went to look for him myself” Clementine rebuked, crossing her arms. “I didn’t hide behind a wall and send someone else to do it”

Louis gave her a pained expression. He looked almost as guilty as Sophie.

“You would have liked Violet” He said. “She had like, this dark sense of humor, and she was a badass, too. _Is_ a badass. I have the feeling she kinda hated me when we first met, but she was always there, ready to defend me no matter how much of a pain in the ass I was” He chuckled. “I always felt safe with her. Like I could tell her anything and she’d just say ‘I understand, dumbass’, without judging me or anything. I could be honest with her” He faced Clementine again. “I do feel guilty for sending you there, I swear. But then I think about seeing her again… and I just can’t help it”

Clementine didn’t really know how to reply. She understood completely, but she was still terrified of going and she desperately wished she could change his mind. But if he really cared about Violet as much as she cared about AJ, she knew it was hopeless.

“I mean, we _did_ give you a choice” Louis continued. “Like I said, you’re an expert at not dying. What are a few weeks until you make it to Richmond?”

He sounded almost like he wished Clementine made that choice.

“So that AJ can be taken by the Delta?” Clementine retorted. “I don’t really have a choice, Louis. And you know it”

Louis looked down.

“Just…” He shrugged. “Good luck out there”

Δ

A few hours later, as the sun rose up in the sky, the kids gathered around the gate.

Clementine grabbed her backpack and stood in front of the big doors, getting ready to leave.

She wasn’t ready.

AJ helped her pack a few things left (a drawing he made, band aids, a scarf Sophie had insisted she took), deliberately taking his time, as if to stretch his last moments with Clementine to last longer. And Clementine wasn’t going to rush him.

As she looked at him, she couldn’t believe that would be the last time she’d seen him in God knows how much time.

For years, it had been just them. Clementine and AJ. Two siblings driving around the States. The idea of being separated was just incomprehensible for her, like her brain wasn’t made to work with that concept. They were _meant_ to be together.

Yet, she’d have to make it work. She’d have to be away from him.

She didn’t want to leave.

“Everything ready?” Sophie asked her suddenly, walking up to the picnic table.

AJ handed Clementine the last item—a small flashlight, and she turned to Sophie.

“Everything ready”

“Good” Sophie gave her a sad smile. She looked at the other kids. “This is it, then”

“This is bullshit” Aasim muttered. “By this logic, we should have kicked Marlon out years ago”

“Shut up!” Willy howled.

“This isn’t about kicking anyone out” Sophie said. “This is about getting Minnie and Violet back. Once they’re all back, Clementine here will stay with us, _for good_ ” She gave Mitch a stern look. “Understood?”

Mitch was standing by the gates, arms crossed and a knife on his hand. The boy who was responsible for Clementine being forced to leave. The biggest advocator for the suicide mission they were forcing onto her. He looked at her like she was the lowest of criminals, a look that didn’t express disgust, but more like resentment and a deep hatred.

“Get this over with quick” He said. “We should kick them both out”

“That wasn’t part of the deal” Sophie rushed to stand between him and Clementine and AJ. “Look, if you’re not going to do anything useful, go be an ass somewhere else”

“I don’t have to take orders from you” He took a step forward. “Don’t act like you have never tried to kill Marlon. You’re on their fucking side”

“Dude…” Louis started.

“Really? Now you’re on their side too?” Mitch demanded. “After they murdered your best friend?”

Louis shut his mouth.

“Whatever” Mitch grumbled, already turning around and walking away.

Sophie sighed. She looked at Brody for comfort, and shared an understanding look with her girlfriend.

She turned to Clementine.

“I’m… escorting you to the bridge, to give you a few indications” She told her. “Is that okay?”

Clementine nodded.

“It’s perfect”

“We should be leaving soon, so if you want to say goodbye…” She shrugged and glanced at AJ. “This would be the moment”

AJ looked at her with big, sad eyes. She kneeled and he immediately ran to her arms. He hugged her with a death grip and buried his head in her shoulder.

“Hey” Clementine forced a smile. “I’ll be back soon, alright?”

AJ didn’t reply. He sobbed against her. He rarely cried, and she understood he felt the same way she did.

Tears started to prick her eyes.

It suddenly dawned to her that _this was it_. This was _really it_. She was leaving. And she wasn’t going to see AJ in a long, long time. Maybe never again. The little boy in her arms, her little brother, was being torn away from her. Her only family.

Because—God, fuck, what was she going to do? What was she going to do without him? Last time she was without him—No. Bad things happened. She’d done bad things. She became _bad_ when she wasn’t with him. She—she _needed_ him. He was her anchor, her reason to do things _right_.

Her chest hurt. Her breathing grew erratic.

She couldn’t—she couldn’t leave. She couldn’t leave him. She— _she didn’t know what to do without him._

What the fuck had she been thinking when she accepted Sophie’s offer? Why the fuck had she thought she could do it?

Her little brother was being taken away from her once again.

She didn’t realize she was crying.

A hand touched her shoulder.

“Clem” Sophie’s voice said. “Come on, it’s time”

Clementine sniffed and forced herself to separate from AJ. She wiped her tears away before raising her head.

“Does she _really_ have to leave?” AJ begged one last time. He looked at Louis. “It’s not fair. I think she should stay”

Louis took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes.

“I…” He hesitated. His expression hardened. “We gave you two a choice”

Clementine _hated_ that he said it like that. He made it sound like she was _choosing_ to leave, like she _wanted_ it. Like she was abandoning AJ.

She stood up. Her legs felt weak and her chest hurt.

“Maybe he’s right” Sophie intervened. “Maybe she should stay. I mean, she didn’t _do_ anything”

“The alternative is _both_ of them leaving. We talked about this, and they don’t want to”

“I say that we both leave” AJ insisted. He turned to Clementine. “Can’t I go with you?”

Clementine barely had the physical and emotional strength to give him an answer.

“You have to stay here, Goofball” She reminded him. “You have to stay safe”

“But that means where you’re going is not safe” AJ deduced. “Please, don’t go”

Clementine felt like she would break down crying again.

“I’ll come back soon, AJ _. I_ _promise”_ she took his shoulders. “You have to trust me. Alright?”

He gave a shaky nod.

“Alright”

Clementine hugged him one last time, fighting the tears with all her will. She then stood up. She looked at Louis, as if considering saying goodbye to him as well, but he refused to meet her eyes.

He hated her. Her closest friend truly hated her. The realization made her feel something empty.

Sophie opened the big gates, and she followed her outside. She gave AJ one last look as she walked, until his face disappeared from sight and the forest engulfed the school into its darkness, hiding it from the world once again.

She wiped her tears away.

Δ

Clementine and Sophie walked for several hours, until they arrived to a covered bridge crossing the river. A pickup truck had crashed at some point trying to cross it, and now it was uselessly abandoned in the middle of it.

“See? You just have to cross it” Sophie explained. “Then just keep walking north and you should find them in a few days”

“Alright” Clementine replied. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything more eloquent.

“Hey” Sophie sat on the bed of the truck. “I wanted to talk with you about something before you leave. Something important”

“What is it?” Clementine asked, taking a seat next to her. She would always be struck by how much taller than her Sophie was, even sitting.

Sophie sighed.

“You see this scar?” She traced her scar with her finger. “I lied to you. It’s not a bullet scar. It’s a knife scar”

“I knew that” Clementine confessed. “I know what bullet scars look like”

“Yeah. I should have guessed. I told everyone it was from a bullet that missed, but you have to know the truth, so…” she chuckled nervously. “Yeah, it’s a knife scar. My sister did it to me”

Clementine jerked her head to look at her with eyes wide open.

Her sister…?

“Remember I told you I faked my death?” Sophie continued.

“Yeah, I do”

“Well, Minnie and Violet think I’m dead too. Let me start from the beginning” She cleared her throat. “I was the one who suggested we left. Violet agreed with me right away, but Minnie was more hesitant” She scratched the back of her neck. “We packed some stuff and tried to cross the river, and I told everyone they had caught us and only _I_ made it out, but the truth is… Minnie didn’t want to leave. She made up her mind in that moment, I think. And she…” She chuckled again. “She tried to kill me, I guess. And did this” she touched the scar again. “I remember it bled so much. Violet was always the smartest and bravest out of the three, but she didn’t think believe it. She always did what Minnie said. And when Minnie attacked me, she just… stood there, frozen. Like she was too scared to do anything. I… I don’t blame her, really. I was scared, too. I never thought—I never thought my sister would do something like that to me. I—” Her voice cracked. She took a moment before continuing. “Anyways, I fell off the bridge and the river dragged me away. Everyone thinks I’m dead. Everyone thinks Minnie killed me. Minnie included”

“Jesus, Sophie” Clementine mumbled. “I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry”

She put a hand on her shoulder, and Sophie smiled at her.

“It’s alright” She reassured her. “My sister made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, Clem.  She’s my sister and… and I still love her, even if she wants me dead” She forced a smile, and wiped the tears from her eyes before they fell. “I know her. I know she’s not like that. She just needs to come home and everything will be alright”

Clementine couldn’t understand it, how anyone could even hurt their sibling. It was beyond her. The sole mention of the idea of hurting her own brother made her nauseous. Like it was some sort of taboo, some sort of law of nature being broken.

“Point is” Sophie said. “They don’t want to come back. Not Minnie, at least. I don’t know about Violet, but I assume she’ll do anything Minnie does. I know this seems like an impossible quest, but I know them. They have to be home, with their family” She sighed. “Once they’re back, things will go back to how they used to be, I’m certain”

“…You sure?” Clementine asked. “I mean, it seems like they made choice”

“It’s not _their_ choice, Clem” Sophie corrected her. “They’re manipulating them. I know those fuckers”

The sun was getting higher in the sky. Soon it would be midday.

“Anyways” Sophie continued. “I think it would be better if you didn’t tell them I’m alive. Not until you know you can trust them, at least, okay?”

“I’ll be careful” Clementine promised.

“Good” Sophie smiled brightly “That’s kinda all I wanted to say, besides wishing you good luck. I trust you”

“I’m glad _someone_ does” Clementine joked. “I feel like everyone hates me right now”

“Come on, that’s not true!” Sophie smirked. “Bring Violet back, and Louis will fall in love with you, I assure you”

“Ugh, gross!”

Sophie laughed.

“Please take care of AJ” Clementine asked her.

“I will. Don’t worry” Sophie reassured her. “I think Brody wants to adopt him”

“I thought she was scared of him”

“Oh, she is. She said something about ‘raising him right’” She marked the quotes with her fingers. Clementine grimaced, and Sophie added: “…Yeah. I’ll talk to her about it. I’ll just ask myself what you would do every time I talk to him. Okay?”

“Okay” Clementine chuckled.

Sophie stood up, Clementine following suit.

“See you soon, Clem” She smiled at her.

“See you soon.” Clementine returned the smile.

And so, they turned around and walked in very different directions, towards what lied ahead.

Δ

_She had no idea what awaited her. How her life would change._

_The day she first set eyes on that girl that came out of the woods._

_She did not know in that moment she was meeting for the second time one of the most influential persons in her life, but it would take months for her to know this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This chapter was three times longer than Chapter One what the FUC)
> 
> So, this is it! "ACT I: To Build A Home", is over. This took me two months to write. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> I promise you, Violet shows up in the next chapter.
> 
> Truth is, though, I have no idea when ACT II will be finished. And remmeber I'm writing this on June 11th. I haven't even started it! And honestly I'm traveling for two weeks in a few days so it will probably take some time. But don't worry! I *will* write it. Someday.
> 
> Leave your comments and theories below!
> 
> ACT II: "Bury A Friend", coming soon.


	9. ACT II: BURY A FRIEND

_“What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?_  
_What are you wondering? What do you know?_  
_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_  
_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?”_

_[…]_

_“Your talk'll be somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud_  
_Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now_  
_Calling security, keepin' my head held down_  
_Bury the hatchet or bury your friend right now”_

–“[bury a friend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHC9tYz8ik)”, by Billie Eilish.

Δ

  **(Click "Next Chapter" to read the Act II)**


	10. Wolves

_“They’re tearing up holes in the house_  
_They’re tearing their claws in the ground_  
 _They’re staring with blood in their mouths_  
 _Mama, they won’t let me out_

 _They tumble and fight_  
_And they’re beautiful_  
 _On the hilltops at night_  
 _They are beautiful_

 _Blazing with light_  
_Is the whitest and the tallest and the biggest one_  
 _She’s muscled and fine_  
 _When she runs”_

–“[Wolves](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH3C8FyHsIk)”, by Phosphorescent.

Δ

Violet thought that would be a normal day.

Of course, it was _not_ a normal day. Not near the end, at least.

She started the day as usual: Waking up at sunrise with the sound of a soldier yelling through a megaphone and the noises of children shuffling and moaning in protest. Her back was sore from sleeping in the floor, but she’d grown used to it over the years.

The first sign that something was off was when she didn’t see Alex.

Which was strange, because her sleeping bag was just next to Alex’s cot, which had been stolen by another kid during the night, it seemed. She’d seen Alex return with the rest the previous night, his tiny body shaking uncontrollably. But she didn’t get the chance to talk to him, and once she arrived at the barracks, she’d been too tired to talk to anyone and it had been too dark to see anything. She had just barely managed not to step on any of the older kids sleeping on the ground and find her sleeping bag in its hiding spot before falling asleep.

Had Alex been allowed in the main building and no one had told her?

Or had something else happened? What if he…

No. She pushed her worry away. Alex must be the most loyal, obedient, docile kid in the Delta. No way he’d gotten in trouble.

So she hid her sleeping bag again and went on with her day, and hoped to find him later that day.

Alex wasn’t in any of the tents in the parking lot in front of the barracks, either. In the dining hall of the main building, Lilly gave a shot announcement to which Violet barely paid attention to. She mostly just said they were back ( _fucking duh_ ), and that there had been several loses at the hands of those New Frontier bandits. She was just glad not to hear her friend’s names in the casualties list. Violet’s head perked up when she heard Abel’s name and she couldn’t help but smile a little. Good riddance, she guessed. Abel was a creep anyways.

Alex wasn’t there at breakfast, either.

She took a quick shower at the main building. After that, she walked down the street towards the gym. It hadn’t snowed yet, which she guessed was a good thing, but it had rained at night (she heard the raindrops hit the metal covering of the barracks all night) and the concrete was wet.

She went to the shooting lane.

She wouldn’t say she was the _best_ archer at the Delta, but she was the best out of the ones who had time to teach the new recruits, and the best one who didn’t hate kids so much they’d make them cry with every lesson, and the best one who wasn’t currently fighting in Virginia, or working on taking back the Carson Outpost.

Even with one eye, she was good.

“I’m shit at this” her newest student, a boy named Gabriel, whined as he struggled with the compound bow.

“You’re going to be shit forever if you keep whining” Violet remarked. She grabbed her own bow and loaded an arrow, arching her back with an exaggerated motion. She’d be thankful forever that she still had her right eye. “Like this. In case you hadn’t noticed, you actually have to use your back. It’s not like in the movies, you know?”

She aimed at the target. The old basketball court had been turned into a shooting lane years prior. Some idiot had complained, she remembered. Violet didn’t really care.  She hated basketball, anyways. But archery… that was a completely different story.

She breathed in, breathed out, and loosed.

The arrow hit dead on the center.

Good enough.

Next to her, Gabriel whined again.

“I’m never gonna be as good as you” he complained. God, he wouldn’t shut up. Not in the funny kind of wouldn’t-shut-up, like some people she used to know were, but in the annoying kind. The kind that made her want to hit him straight on the face with her bow.

“You kinda have to, if you don’t want to die” She picked another arrow and handed it to him. “If you really are going on a scout mission, you don’t have much of a choice”

“I know, I know” He said. “It’s my first time going out and… I don’t know what to do” He loaded the bow (he did it the wrong way, _of course_ , because he always did it the wrong way, not matter how many times Violet explained and showed him the _right way_ ), loosed and completely missed. It didn’t even reach the target. It just lamely fell to the floor and left an ugly scratch on the wooden planks, like the hundred ones that were left during the years. He huffed. “Dammit”

Violet had to resist rolling her eyes. The soldier watching them was someone she knew, this time. A twenty-something girl. Violet checked the big clock on the wall. Almost midday.

“You know what? We’re done for today” She told him, snatching the bow from his hands. “I’m fucking starving”

Gabriel chuckled.

“Me too” he agreed.

Now that he’d turned around she could finally roll her eyes (well, _eye_ , because _fucking duh_ ) and walk up to her friend.

“Hey” She tiredly greeted her.

“But if it’s Victory Violet!” Asha exclaimed, coming down from the seats. She gestured at Gabe “See you won the lottery”

 “God, he’s the worst” Violet grumbled.

“I don’t know. He’s kinda cute” She chuckled.

“Fuck. I can’t believe it” Violet started to walk away, but Asha forefully grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards herself.

“Come on. Head on my lap” She said, patting her lap.

Violet raised an eyebrow.

“Why would I put my head on your lap?”

“Because we’re friends and I’m trying to comfort you, stupid”

Violet rolled her eyes, but lay down on the bleachers and rested her head on Asha’s lap.

“This was such a long day” Asha whined.

“You day just started” Violet said. “Your shift at the workshop doesn’t start until four”

“Still a long day. I got mud all over myself twice today, and I had to take two showers already. I swear I’m going to turn into a mermaid one of these days”

Violet snorted and closed her eye.

“Weren’t you going to comfort me?”

“I _am_ comforting you” She started to pat her head. “I’m patting your head”

They remained silent for a moment.

“God, he’s _so stupid_ ” Violet insisted.

“You really hate Gabe, don’t you?”

“He doesn’t even _try_ to hit the target. He doesn’t follow my indications. And he won’t shut up!”

“But he’s cute, isn’t he?”

Violet scrunched up her nose.

“How old are you, anyways?” She asked.

“Twenty seven” Asha replied.

“He’s ten years younger than you” Violet pointed out.

“Age is just a number, Vi”

Gross. _Gross, gross, gross._ Violet _hated_ that phrase.

It was then that Violet noticed something weird about her.

“You’re not wearing your jacket” She said, sitting up.

“What? Is a woman not allowed some air?”

“It’s cold as fuck, and that jacket is like, your second skin. What happened to it?”

Asha’s infamous leather jacket. In the three years Violet had known her, she had never, ever seen her without her jacket. She probably even slept with that fucking jacket. Leather jacket, shoulder length black hair and that stupid baseball bat of murder. She had never changed her style.

Asha huffed.

“Okay” she said. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk about. It’s Alex”

Violet’s heart stopped.

“What’s up with Alex?”

“Didn’t you hear?” Asha asked, raising an eyebrow.

Violet shook her head. First, he wasn’t at the barracks, and judging by Asha’s tone, he hadn’t moved to the main building. She was starting to worry.

Asha grabbed her arm, suddenly oddly serious.

“Let’s go have a walk”

They walked out of the gym. The cold air hit her like a train, and Asha started to shiver, as she didn’t have any coat other than her missing leather jacket. A heavy blanked of grey clouds covered the sky.

“It’s going to snow soon” Violet pointed out.

“You know how we went to follow those New Frontier fuckers last week?” Asha started.

“The ones with the cars?”

“Exactly. The ones with the cars. They ambushed us in a train station and we lost six of our men. Abel included. They probably came from the Carson Outpost”

Violet nodded. She hadn’t heard about the ambush part, but to be fair, she wasn’t listening when Lilly talked.

She could at least find some consolation in the fact that Abel was dead. She fucking hated that creep.

A military jeep drove past them, down the street and towards the wall. It splashed water all over the sidewalks, and Violet took a step back so it wouldn’t hit her.

A car? If they were wasting gas, then something must be wrong.

“What happened? Violet insisted. “Is he okay?”

“Alex is fine” Asha reassured her. “But he made a mistake, and now he has to suffer the consequences”

Violet’s stomach dropped. She was suddenly very aware of the piece of dark cloth covering the left side of her face, were her eye used to be.

Not Alex. He was so young—the same age she was when it happened. She wondered, horrified, if they’d had her do it. She didn’t want to hurt Alex.

She realized Asha was walking her to the School.

Her blood went cold.

“No” She said, completely stopping her walking. “You can’t—”

“The rules are the rules, Violet” Asha told her. “You should know that better than anyone”

It wasn’t fair. Asha had _no fucking right to tell her something like that_. Alex was a little kid. _She was a little kid when it happened_. It just _wasn’t fair_. _It wasn’t fair it wasn’t fair it wasn’t—_

“Who—?”

“I was the one to do it” Asha told her. “He doesn’t want to talk to me, or Lilly, or anyone else”

“So? You expect me to talk to him?” Violet asked bitterly. She suddenly wanted to hurt Asha. The two girls were the only people close to Alex.

“That’s the idea” Asha nodded. “Come on, he needs to see a familiar face right now. If you want to help him, the best you can do is go talk to him now”

Violet clenched her fists.

She didn’t want to go to the School. _It wasn’t fair_. She didn’t want Asha to take her back to the School.

She looked down and brought her hand over the space where her left eye used to be. She hadn’t realized how rapid her breathing was becoming.

“Vi” She put a hand on her shoulder. “We _need_ you to do this, okay? You can’t say no”

Violet swallowed and looked up.

“Do I have a choice?”

Asha shrugged and gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Not really”

Δ

Violet hated the School.

She didn’t hate schools in general. In fact, she had spent some of the happiest years of her life at a school. There had been a piano, and a lot of books and enough space to practice archery. No. She hated The School. With capital S. It was a special School, that worked very different from other schools, even though someone she knew would say it served the same function.

 _Schools, prisons, factories… it’s all the same, guys. You know, I read a book the other day… I think you’d like it. It’s about power, and discipline, and how institutions seek to control the mind and body through constant observation and punishment_ , blah blah blah, it got blurry after that. She didn’t remember much. It didn’t matter. The girl was _dead_. Everything she said was dead too and it was better not to think about it.

But she had been right on something. The School was there to teach discipline. To teach _order_.

Lilly said it was a good thing. And Minnie agreed with Lilly.

So it must be a good thing.

Yeah, a _fucking_ good thing.

The School was a big building, with two floors and an endless series of classrooms on both wings. It smelled like the inside of a wet corpse. The lockers were used to store supplies such as food, water and clothes, nothing that could be used as a weapon. The metal they were made of was sharp and rusted. The classrooms worked as cells. In front of it, there was a makeshift watch tower, only a little bit taller than the building. Violet had thought it was strange looking at first, but she’d grown used to it with the years.

_It hurt. It hurt. She didn’t want to be there._

_A piece of red hot metal pressing against her small head. It hurt. Minnie. Make it stop. It hurts. Please. Stop it. Minnie…_

Her fists were shaking from how tightly she was clenching them, cutting the blood circulation. She tightened the cloth strip around her head so it covered her left eye better.

Fucking good thing. So fucking good. They loved people crying so goddamn much.

Asha led her upstairs and to the west wing. The east wing was reserved for adults.

The place made her want to vomit. It made her want to kill Asha. It made her want to stab herself until her body was so disfigured there was no Violet left.

The sound of crying echoed in the halls. She vaguely wondered how many kids were locked there.

Head down, facing the floor, looking at Asha through her lashes. Fists numb from the anger.

Classroom N° 12.

“Ten minutes” Asha told her. “The point is to make him think about what he did”

She wanted her to make him feel guilty. Like he deserved what they did to him. She knew the protocol. Violet wanted to break something.

“What did he do?” Violet forced herself to ask.

“You ask him” Asha shrugged. “Come on. I’ll take you out for food! And once he’s learned his lesson, we can have a nice picnic all three of us this weekend” She smiled. It made Violet feel nauseous.

She turned the doorknob. There was a bitter feeling in her stomach.

_“Ma’am…”_

_“Lock her in! Let her think about what she did”_

_“I can’t see…”_

_Click._

This place reminded her she was bad.

She closed the door behind herself.

Alex was a twelve years old boy, but you wouldn’t have guessed. He was so small, he might as well be eight.

He was curled into a ball in the corner of the classroom. The room was dark, emptied of chairs and desks and with the window barred with wooden planks. There were stains of dried blood in the tiles of the floor. On the board, the same message was written over and over again, with a minuscule calligraphy: ‘ _I will not run away. I will not run away. I will not run away’_

_A chalk was handed to her._

_“Write”_

_‘I will not commit treason. I will not commit treason. I will…’_

“Alex…?” Violet whispered, slowly approaching him. Asha’s heavy leather jacket was wrapped around him, engulfing his small frame.

Alex’s head jerked up at the sound of her voice. He looked at her and something resembling a smile drew on his face.

“Vi!” He cried. He instantly stood up and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Violet tensed up. She wasn’t used to hugs, but she still awkwardly hugged him back. He winced painfully when she touched his back.

“I’m sorry” he whimpered.

“It’s okay” She reassured him. She took a step back and crouched to be at his level. She realized he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt, and Asha’s jacket was the only thing covering him from the waist up. “What happened?”

“I…” He swallowed. “I was scared. I didn’t want to go on the mission, but Lilly said it was a good idea. So I went. And…” He looked down. “Everyone was shooting each other, and I got scared, and someone told me to hide… so I did”

Oh, no.

Lilly didn’t like runners.

“Someone told you to hide?”

He gave a rigid nod.

“She was one of us” he said. “She knew about Rockingham. And she told me to hide, so…”

“Had you seen her before?”

He licked his lips and looked down.

“No”

Chances were, this person was with the New Frontier. Chances were, they had found out about their code words, somehow. Chances were, they were spying on them.

But she didn’t tell Alex any of this. He didn’t need to feel worse than he was already feeling. In any case, he had been the one to make this discovery. That was something to be proud of, kind of.

“Hey” Violet sat down by the wall, resting her back against it. “Come here”

Alex sat down next to her, with his legs crossed and his back away from the wall.

“What did they do?” She asked.

Alex took in a deep breath.

“It was the whip”

Oh.

Oh, no.                                                                                                                                       

He was so young…

But in the other hand, Violet was almost glad they didn’t cause him any permanent injuries. The whip was terrible, yes. But the wounds would heal.

It was better than losing an eye, she guessed.

She wanted to break something.

“How many times?” She asked.

“Ten” Alex said with a string of voice.

She suddenly felt an impulse to hug him again, but she knew it was better to let him initiate any physical contact. She realized Asha had given him the jacket to cover his wounded back.

“Look” Violet whispered, facing him. “You don’t deserve this. This is fucking wrong. I don’t want you to forget that”

Alex tensed up and looked at the door.

“No one is listening” Violet reassured him. “What they did to you is bad, okay? You did nothing wrong”

Alex pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them.

“That’s not what Lilly said” he mumbled.

“Lilly…” _Lilly is full of shit_ , she wanted to say. She wanted to scream. But she couldn’t. Because then, Alex might think it was alright to say that kind of things, and that could get them both in trouble.

“She said I was useless” Alex continued. “She said they should have never taken me in after we left Oceanside. She said it’s my fault Sam and Paige and Jamie died”

“That’s not true”

“But it is!” He whined. “You weren’t there! I was the only one with a gun, and I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t do anything because I was scared and I wanted to hide. Just like when I hid in the train station”

Violet understood the feeling very well.

_There was red on the bridge and red on the water._

It broke her heart. And it made her angry. It threw her into a dark place. She didn’t know what to say. She was shit at comforting people.

“You’re _not_ useless” Violet forcefully stated. “Everyone gets scared sometimes”

_Getting scared gets people killed. Like with Her. Everything was red._

_She missed her._

_Her fault. All her fucking fault. She always fucked everything up._

Alex buried his face in his knees and let out a pained cry.

“We lost because of me” he sobbed. “Lilly says we would have won if I hadn’t been a coward”

“At the ambush?” Violet asked. Her anger rose higher. “There’s nothing you could have done. It wasn’t your fault, and whatever Lilly has to say about it, she can shove it up her ass”

Alex chuckled weakly. Right. He didn’t need her to get angry. He needed her to comfort him.

“Does it hurt?” Violet asked.

Alex nodded.

“Yeah” He bit his lip. “I want to get out. When can I get out?”

“I’ll ask Asha. Don’t worry about it”

Alex looked down.

“Asha hates me” He whimpered.

Violet took in a shaky breath.

_“I love you, Vi. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I had to. I still love you”_

What Asha did to him—

“She doesn’t hate you” She hesitantly corrected him. She took a deep breath. “She cares a lot about you. She sees you as a little brother”

“But she was angry today” He insisted. “She agreed with Lilly. She hurt me”

Violet opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t know what. She knew Asha. She remember the script. Asha was _good_. She just followed rules like she was supposed to, just like Alex and Minnie. She just wanted the best for the Delta and… and so did Minnie, right? Right. Fucking right. They were _always fucking right, uh? They knew fucking everything._

And… so wanted Violet. Just because they hurt them it didn’t mean they didn’t love them.

“Asha… She did it because she loves you”

Asha was with Lilly, so she must be right.

“But she hurt me”

“I know. She…” Deep breaths. That’s right. She knew the protocol. She knew the drill. She had heard those words a million times. They’d been drilled into her skull with fire. “She just wants the best for us” She said, as if she was reciting a script. “She wants the best for the Delta”

 The strip of cloth around her head felt loose, so she unmade the knot holding it and tied it again, tighter.

“It’s not fair”

_It’s not fair. It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not—_

She didn’t have a script for that.

She didn’t know what Minnie would say. And without Minnie’s words speaking for her, Violet was useless. She knew that very well.

“I’ll ask them when you can go home” She limited herself to tell him. She wanted to hug him, but he didn’t look like he wanted to be touched, and he didn’t give her a response, so she simply walked out of the classroom. Asha locked the door behind her.

“So?” She cheerfully asked. “How did it go?”

Violet shrugged. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t feeling anything.

_Minnie. I love you. It hurts._

“It went well, I guess”

Asha interlocked their arms, like two high school best friends.

“Come on. I promised I’d take you out for food”

Δ

It wasn’t always like that.

She once had friends she wasn’t scared of.

There was a boy who always made her laugh.

Δ

What Asha seemed to understand by ‘Taking Someone Out For Food’ as ‘I bring you quality food for once, but I also pick the second place you hate the most in this goddamn shithole to eat’.

And that was exactly what she did. She brought some bread and cheese from her room in the main building (making Violet walk the length of the base twice, mind you) and then strode all the way back to the barracks.

The barracks were a series of buildings that used to be used as storage places, back when the Delta was a simple military base. The looked like giant metal tubes cut in half. They had been modified, over the years, to keep the warmth and house people.

Which didn’t mean they were comfortable, mind you.

They were so crowded, many of the older kids chose to live in the tent city growing in the parking lot in front of the old storage buildings.

And when it started snowing, the kids in the tents might be forced to sleep in the barracks, which meant they would be even more crowed, which meant even more kids would have to sleep on the cold floor.

Violet just wanted to give her back a rest.

Thankfully, the barracks were almost empty that day. There were a couple of kids chatting in one of the double beds near the other end of the building, and only one adult guard with a gun lazily smoking a cigarette by the door. Violet and Asha could walk in with no problem.

While most of the space was occupied by cots, double beds, mattresses on the floor, piles of blankets and sleeping bags, near the entrance there were also big wooden boxes meant for storing vehicle pieces and other construction material, useless for the workshop but that may come handy some day. They were obviously sealed, but you could still climb on top of them. The little mountain of boxes must be at least twice as tall as Asha (who was quite tall, in comparison to Violet), so you could get a pretty good view of the interior of the barrack from up there. Violet hid her sleeping bag and backpack between one of the boxes and the wall, so no one could reach it and steal it. They’d stolen her first sleeping bag and she had to snatch a new one.

The soldier by the door wasn’t paying much attention to them, so they climbed at the top of the last box together.

“Why is this always so dark in here?” Asha asked, taking the bread and cheese out from the fabric bag she’d brought along. She was right. The only light in the building was the one coming from the open door. At night, they had old light tubes that barely worked anymore. Of course. Asha had her own fucking apartment, with windows and a bed and all the lamps she wanted. Not everyone was that lucky.

“Fuck off” Violet huffed. She wasn’t in a good mood.

“How do you say it? You’re sexy, but in a rat kind of way”

Violet shrugged. It made her uncomfortable.

“Whatever”

“Well, you’re ugly anyways” She joked.

Violet rolled her eyes and pretended that didn’t hurt. She knew her wound didn’t make her pretty. She didn’t _care_ about pretty. She cared about feeling human.

“Anyways” Asha shifted and rested her head on Violet’s lap. A sense of revulsion invaded Violet and had the sudden impulse to push her off the mountain of boxes. “Let’s talk about Gabe”

“Why would I want to talk about him?”

It was outrageous. It was disrespectful. It was a fucking joke. It made her want to vomit.

Boys? Was that what Asha wanted to talk about? Because Violet had much more serious, much scarier things in her head.

“Your favorite student? Come on! Don’t tell me he doesn’t have a charm!”

She bit down her lip and forcefully pushed her away. Asha sat up with a confused look.

_It’s not fair. It’s not fair._

_“She said I was useless”_

“I wonder where he comes from” Asha continued. “He’s… mysterious, isn’t he? I like that in a man”

Asha had held the whip against Alex, and all she wanted to talk about were _boys_.

She wanted to ask Asha what the fuck she was doing at the barracks with her, when she could be in her luxurious apartment, in the main building. Why the fuck she thought Violet wanted to spend time with her. She hadn’t invited her. She didn’t even want to fucking see her. They might have been friends for years, but right now she only wanted to tell her to fuck off. To ask her _what the fuck_ was going on in her messed up head when they handed her a whip and told her to torture the twelve years old boy that admired her so much. To ask her how she could be so cheerful and playful after what they made her do.

“I’m sick of talking about Gabe” She grumbled.

“Oh? What do you want to talk about, then? Victory Vi?”

She repressed her impulse to tell her it was only funny when _she_ said it, and instead, turned to her and opened her mouth to tell her, to say something.

She couldn’t bring herself to utter a word.

There was a gun on Asha’s holster. Violet never really saw her without her gun, and she knew she wouldn’t actually use it on her if she said something she wasn’t supposed to. She’d take her to Lilly and the Council would decide the proper punishment.

It just reminded her she wasn’t safe.

Asha would hurt her. Her best friend would beat her up and drag her across the dirt. She would tell her things that would make Violet want to rip her ears off. She would inflict such terror in her she wouldn’t be able to see.

Asha was smiling at her.

Part of Violet didn’t care if she hurt her. Part of Violet wanted her to. She deserved that and worse. Part of Violet was absolutely terrified. She realized in that moment that she couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t trust Asha.

So she snapped her mouth shut again.

There was nothing she could do, anyways. It’s not like she could take Alex’s pain away. It’s not as if she could stop the procedures that took place at the School with Capital S, and it’s not as if she could get her left eye back by denouncing what she went through.

Asha raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing? I mean, I know I’m always the one to come up with the best conversation topics. It’s okay, Vi”

Asha couldn’t read her mind. She was safe inside her mind.

She couldn’t trust her friends.

“Okay, I was thinking about asking him out” Asha continued, unprompted. “Here’s my plan…”

Δ

Violet had a look-out shift at sunset, which must be the part of her day she hated the least. So after her shift at the workshop, when her hands hurt and were sore from working all day fixing light bulbs, she got her chance to walk out and run to the watch tower. Saved by the bell, she guessed.

She grabbed her bow from the armory, a flashlight and a bag with arrows and walked down the streets towards the wall.

It was about half as tall as the main building, made of solid concrete. It had been there since before everything started, back when the Delta had a different name and it was a simple fort, or military base. She wasn’t sure and she didn’t care. Same with the watch towers. They were designed for this.

So Violet climbed to the tower right next to the gate with her bow in hand. Her shift lasted only two hours, thankfully.  And the clouds didn’t quite reach the horizon yet, so she had a nice view of the sunset. She could see everything outside the walls from her place. The forest that extended miles and miles away, and if she turned around, she could kind of see the barracks, the wall just behind them and, even further, the light reflecting on the river. If she still had both eyes, and if there was more light, she could probably see the port, with its dozen of ships, ranging from small sail boats to giant metal monsters meant for the ocean resting in the docks.

She couldn’t see it, but a bit further, there was the bridge.

_“Guys, come on!”_

Everything had been so _red._

_“Violet, look at me”_

_“W—what happened?”_

She looked away. She didn’t want to think about the bridge.

_“You’re a murderer”_

She turned around and observed in direction of the west. That was all she had to do. Right in front of her, the road made a cut in the forest. She couldn’t see the actual road, but she could see the space it created between the trees, and the bit of street that diverged from it and led to the very gates she was watching.

Above her, the stars.

She wasn’t supposed to look at the stars, though. It was distracting, and she could look at the stars later, anyways, once her shift was over. The sky was mostly covered by clouds, anyways. So she simply watched ahead.

A bird flew above her. Some kind of hawk or falcon, she guessed. It glided across the air and away, into the forest, flying higher and higher until you couldn’t see it anymore.

She wished she had wings. It must feel wonderful to fly away.

Her eyes returned to the bridge.

_There was so much blood._

Lilly had been so proud.

Godammit, Alex.

What the fuck? What the fuck had they done to him? He was just a boy. He was terrified of Lilly, and he followed every order to the letter. He was scared, and he had thought he was just doing what he was told. Lilly wasn’t like that. Lilly was… she was rational and intelligent, and wouldn’t punish someone who didn’t deserve it. She _knew_ that. Lilly wasn’t a bad person, not really. She just… made a mistake. And so did Asha.

But… it was a terrible mistake. To hurt a boy like that… Alex didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t fair. Lilly had crossed a line, and Asha should have questioned it. It was just… wrong, regardless of intention. It was _wrong_.

She was thinking about this when she heard someone call her name.

“Violet!” Minnie yelled from the ground. She started to climb the ladder. “Hey”

And like a switch, all her anger dissipated at the sight of her girlfriend’s face.

“Hey” She greeted her, once she was in the platform with her.

Minnie stood a good head taller than her, only her fun-lined jacket being enough to cover Violet down to her knees, when she put it on. Her red hair looked like fire in the light of the sunset.

“Seen anything?” She asked her. Violet shrugged.

“Nothing interesting. Not even walkers”

Minnie hummed. She was so tall and beautiful and muscled and fine, with those freckles no one could tell were there unless you looked very closely, and those emerald eyes and her fiery red hair… Violet couldn’t help but stand on her toes and kiss her. It only lasted a moment.

“How was your day?” Violet asked her.

“Pretty boring. I went patrolling down the river, and I helped at the port”

Violet snorted.

“How is it going? Has anyone lost any fingers yet?”

“Give it some time. It’s only been three months without accidents” She sighed. “We’ve been talking about the Carson Outpost”

“What about it?” Violet asked.

“Lilly and Andrew are making a plan to take it back” Minnie explained.

Despite how much Violet enjoyed Minnie’s company, she was starting to wonder what she was doing there. She wasn’t the smartest or the most important person to be told all the details of the attack plans. She was free to go to her apartment. She didn’t have any more work to do for the day.

“I heard about what happened to your friend” She said. It mad Violet’s stomach drop. “The little boy”

Violet looked down. She realized the thick clouds had now covered the entirety of the sky, The sun was gone and the above was dark. Minnie straightened her back, standing even taller above Violet. Her expression hardened.

“You know it was necessary” She stated. “He put everyone in danger”

Violet couldn’t bring herself to look at her in the eye.

Minnie sighed.

“I wish this didn’t need to happen” She said with a weak voice. “But… You know the rules, Vi. If someone steps out of line…”

“They can get people killed” Violet finished. She had heard and said those words a million times. She knew the script.

“You know I hate this as much as you do” She continued. “But six people died last week. We can’t take those kinds of risks. No one can. You know that”

Violet weakly nodded.

“I know”

“This is the only way we survive”

Violet nodded again and swallowed. Minnie grabbed her hand.

“Come on” She said, slowly turning her around. “Take a look”

Behind her, the Delta. Or its main settlement, at least. Right below her, the big training area, which was also used to keep the horses, and the main building right in front of it. To her left, she could distinguish the farms in the darkness, although she couldn’t see any of the pigs or sheep or chickens in there. Past the main building, past the second training area, now used to grow food, there were the barracks: five old storage buildings that looked like tubes cut at the middle, with the thirty tents in front of them.

In the main building and the secondary admin building, to her right, they were turning off the lights, as they couldn’t afford to call attention to themselves like that, but cars and carts dragged by horses still filled the streets, the people left their work places to go back to their homes, and a new shift came out to replace their fellow soldiers, grabbing their guns and standing by the wall. A group of kids were playing soccer in the street, and a mother walked down the sidewalk with her children. A man with a cart and a horse whistled a cheerful tune. Plants grew in the yard behind the main building like a jungle. The School with Capital S was so far away, hidden behind buildings and barely visible in the darkness. It looked so, so far away.

Everything was so full of life.

“We fought so hard for this, Vi” Minnie said. “We have a good thing here”

Violet nodded once again. Minnie said it, so it must be real.

“We do” She agreed. And it was true. They had hot water, food, electricity, the safest wall you could ever wish for…

Minnie squeezed her hand.

“Don’t you want to protect this place?” She asked. Violet finally looked up to her.

“Of course I do!” She rushed to say. “That’s all I want! That’s what I’m trying to fucking do”

“Then you have to understand, Violet” She suddenly seizing her by the shoulders, sending a pang of panic down Violet’s spine. Minnie _would never hurt her_ , but she didn’t like to be grabbed. She felt a little guilty for distrusting Minnie like that. “This is something we have to do, we like it or not”

Violet took a step back and Minnie’s hands released her shoulders.

God, how could she had been so stupid? Of course no one wanted Alex to get hurt. Of course no one wanted to hurt a little boy. Of course Lilly would try to find another way and the punishment came as last resort. _Of course_ she knew by _experience_ sometimes _punishment_ was the _only way_ to make things _work_. She mentally kicked herself for not realizing things like those were necessary. It was a little sacrifice for the Delta, for the lives of so many people. A left eye or ten cracks of a whip meant nothing compared to that. It was just a way of keeping their people safe and making sure mistakes weren’t made. It was just… a way to teach discipline. It was a worthy price to pay. Everyone said it.

She had been _lucky_ to find herself in such a place.

“I understand” She muttered. Minnie’s hand found hers again.

“I almost forgot” Minnie fished something from the pocket of her jacket. “I brought you something”

Violet was almost excited to see what it was, but her stomach then dropped at the sight:

It was an eye patch. A beautiful thing made of jet black leather, the edge lined with a bright red sewing, and the straps had a small golden buckle to secure it around her head. It was clear a lot work and care had been put to make it, and it must have been terribly hard to make.

It was horribly _pretty_.

She imagined herself wearing it, instead of the uncomfortable piece of cloth she used. She must look like a pirate, or a corsair. A brave warrior. She may even look beautiful with it.

It made her sick of the stomach.

She knew Minnie had the best intentions, but she couldn’t help but feel it would make her wound look like it was something pretty. Like it was something to be proud of. Like she didn’t hate it.

She slowly took it from Minnie’s hand. She wanted to lie and say she loved it, but she couldn’t bring herself to fake excitement.

“Come on” Minnie said. “Let me help you”

She tried to touch the cloth Violet used as an eye patch, only for Violet to jerk her head away.

“Not here” She said.

“Come on” Minnie insisted. “No one is watching”

So Violet simply froze and let her work, staring at nothing and desperately trying not to think about Minnie unwrapping the cloth and leaving her scarred face in plain sight. She thought about the constellations she should be able to see now that winter was approaching, the next time she’d see Alex once was released and why the barracks were always so fucking dark.

Next thing she knew, Minnie was taking a step back, and the new feeling of an actual eye patch welcomed her. It was more comfortable, and it didn’t feel like it would loosen anytime soon.

Minnie grabbed something else from her pocket. A small mirror.

“Here” She said as she handed it to Violet.

She observed her reflection.

She looked like someone else entirely. Like a warrior or a war hero. The red string that had been used to sew the patch stood out even in the dark. The right strap went right over her right eyebrow and over her ear, while the left one went under her left ear. The little scars still peaked under the patch, but not more than before.

The patch didn’t hide anything. It didn’t hide what she was.

Then, she noticed something on the mirror. A tiny spot on the glass, that quickly melted and turned into a water drop.

She raised her head and turned on her flashlight, pointing it to the ground feet under the platform so it wouldn’t be visible from afar.

It was snow. The firsts snow of the year. Just thin snowflakes falling almost like rain. It would probably melt before they even created a white sheet on the ground, but it was there. It was snowing.

Minnie huffed.

“Fucking great”

“It’s just snow. Nothing bad happened last year”

She crossed her arms.

“You never know, Violet”

In that moment, she heard something.

She immediately crouched down and hid behind the makeshift cover railing of the tower. Minnie followed suit.

“Fuck” She muttered. Violet hushed her.

Footsteps. Feet dragging against the ground. Getting closer, and closer, and stopping just before the gates.

There was no other watch tower anywhere near. The towers were meant to spot and take care of large threats, not a single person.

“Do you have a gun?” She asked Minnie in low voice. Minnie shook her head.

Fuck. Shit. She’d have to deal with them alone.

She took a deep breath.

“Give me a city name!” She yelled. And waited.

A voice replied:

“What? Who is it?”

“Do you know a city name?” She insisted. If they were Delta, they’d understand. And, considering the circumstances, if they were New Frontier, they would, too.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The voice yelled back. It was a girl. “C—Can I please come in? I’m exhausted”

“Go get Lilly” Violet whispered to Minnie.

“What if it’s a trap?”

“I’ll deal with it. Just go”

Minnie glared at her. She didn’t like taking orders from Violet, but this time, she had to follow her plan. She climbed down the ladder and ran off.

“I’m alone!” The voice continued. “I swear I’m alone! Please, let me in!”

Violet loaded her bow and stood up, aiming at the girl.

She must be her age. She was wearing a thick brown winter coat and an ugly baseball hat with a D on it. She looked unarmed.

“Who are you?” Violet demanded to know.

“My name is Clementine” The girl said. She looked like she could barely stand on her feet. “Can I please come in? I can’t spend the night out here”

Violet didn’t lower her bow.

“Where do you come from?” She inquired.

“Originally? Georgia”

“That’s pretty far”

“I guess” She replied. “I’m alone. I swear I’m alone. I’m not looking for trouble”

The sound of military boots against the pavement reached her.

“What’s going on here?” Lilly asked. She was accompanied by two men with assault rifles.

“There’s someone out there, ma’am” Minnie replied.

Violet didn’t dare to take her eyes off the girl, but she said to Lilly.

“Looks like it’s only one”

She heard Lilly climb the ladder and stand on the platform, next to her. She had a gun in her hand, and for one moment, Violet thought she’d aim it at the girl.

But instead, Lilly’s eyes widened and her face adopted an expression Violet had never seen on her. Was it confusion? Fear? Horror? Hurt? Sympathy?

“Open the gates!” She commanded. “Now!”

Violet looked at Lilly in perplexity, then at the girl again. She didn’t seem surprised.

The guard looked just as baffled, but they followed the order.

The gate was a double door, both made of metal panels and wood, but they were sturdy enough. A complex mechanism of chains, pistons and pulleys groaned and creaked as the right gate opened, leaving just a space big enough for the small girl to pass through.

As soon as she walked in, the chains were released and the door slowly closed shut behind her.

She was visibly tired, limping inside the walls and shaking like a scarecrow.

Lilly stood in front of her, and they looked at each other in silence for one long second before the girl collapsed into her arms.

It took Violet a moment to realize she was _hugging_ her. As in, _hugging Lilly._

She was crying.

“I’m sorry” She heard her whimper. “I should have gone with you. He’s dead. He’s dead. He…”

“It’s alright” Lilly comforter her, hugging her with only one arm. “You’re safe now”

Violet’s eye found Minnie’s, and they shared a long look of bewilderment. Lilly wasn’t the kind of person to be _comforting_ anyone.

Unless, maybe, they knew each other. Unless they had cared about each other, once.

“Come with me, Clementine” Lilly said. Violet realized she hadn’t told Lilly the girl’s name before. “We need to talk”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! It's been a long time, right? I think it's been over a month since I posted anything lol. But here we are! This Act took me some time, but it's finaly writen! It's seven chapters, just as the Act I, but each chapter is far longer. The longest one is about 20k words, for reference.  
> I really hope this is worth the wait. I want to thank everyone who stuck with me for so long, even after more than a month without updates.  
> From now on, the updates will we weekly.  
> Please don't forget to leave a comment!  
> Chapter Nine: "The Gilded Hand" will be posted on September 1st, 2019.


	11. The Gilded Hand

_“Open eyes adjusting to the dark_  
_The growlin’ of machinery_  
_Can’t say if it’s night or day_  
_And you know, somewhere in there you know_  
_There will be a price to pay ‘til all this goes away_

_So we walk the empty halls, the dirty walls_  
_We smear our names in them_  
_Dirt we find beneath our nails_  
_Can’t be scrubbed from our tired hands, never clean_

_We’re never clean  
We’re never clean”_

–“[The Gilded Hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AWb6TTE5H8)”, by Radical Face.

Δ

_It had been on her 9 th birthday._

_Or, well, kinda._

_Clementine hadn’t seen the point on telling anyone at the Motor Inn. Not even Lee. Because everyone was so busy with something else. Except for the man on the Walkie Talkie._

_She now looked at the Walkie on the table with disgust and guilt. She had been so stupid._

_Lilly sat in the roof of the RV, with the rifle in hand. This was before she had killed Carley, Clementine reminded herself. And before she learned about what she did now, in the real world. Before she knew she kidnapped children. Back when she still trusted her._

_So she observed her. She looked different, much younger, despite only eight years having passed. Her hair was still brown._

_Lilly turned her head to look at her and asked:_

_“What are you working on?”_

_Clementine looked down at the sheet of paper in her hands._

_“It’s a drawing” She replied. “For Lee”_

_She had never gotten to finish that drawing in real life. She wanted to finish it now, so she could at least give it to him this time._

_“I’m sure he’ll love it” Lilly told her, then, still smiling. She didn’t smile much. Not after her father’s death._

_God, what a jackass. Clementine hadn’t given it much thought back then, but now, she could only think about how much of an asshole he had been to everyone. Especially to Lee. He even treated his own daughter like shit. And yet, she still loved him._

_She guessed that was how family worked. You could do fucked up shit to the ones closer to you, and they’d still loved you._

_It wasn’t very fair._

_At some point, Lilly climbed down from the RV and went inside her bedroom. Clementine focused on her drawing, but after a while, when the door opened again, she saw Lilly and Lee hugging. Lilly wiped a tear away and climbed back on top of the RV._

_Clementine gave Lee an inquisitive look, and Lee approached her._

_“What are you thinking about?” He asked her._

_Clementine shrugged._

_“I don’t know. It’s been a long time”_

_“It sure has” Lee agreed. “You always pick the train. Why the change now?”_

_Clementine wasn’t very sure about that._

_“I wanted to see her, I guess” She said. “Before she changed”_

_She didn’t really know if Lilly had changed. Maybe she had always been like that, and they just hadn’t seen it._

_“It’s been a long time” Lee repeated. “She cared about you, you know?” He said. “I think she still does. In her own way”_

_“But…” Clementine vacillated “It doesn’t matter if she cares about me. What about others?_

_“I guess you’re right” Lee agreed. “She does terrible things to others”_

_They both observed her for one long moment._

_Clementine realized she wasn’t small anymore. She was taller, her hat was dirtier and more worn out, and instead of her old dress she was now wearing her winter jacket. She was her sixteen years old self again._

_“Do you think…?” She started._

_Lee chuckled._

_“You’ve been spending way too much time with Sophie” He joked._

_“What?”_

_“You’re becoming more like her” He said. “An idealist” He gestured at Lilly. “You still think you can bring the old Lilly back”_

_It was a statement, not a question. And it was true._

_Because, she had let her go, right? She wasn’t all evil. Maybe the old Lilly was still there._

_Lee put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug._

_“It’s going to be okay” He said. “I have faith in you”_

_Clementine chuckled. Her eyes were starting to water._

_“I don’t know if I can do it” She said. “What if something goes wrong? What if they find out? What if I can’t bring the girls back?”_

_“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be able to do all of that” Lee insisted. He took a step back and grabbed her shoulders. “Remember. You’re strong. You can do anything”_

_A single tear ran down her face. She quickly wiped it away._

_God, she wished he was still with her. She wished he could make the hard calls for her. She wished he could still take care of her._

_Everything was so much harder without him._

_Lee looked at Lilly, on top of the RV._

_“You know, I think she’d appreciate it if you went on up there with her” He said._

_“You think so?” Clementine asked._

_“Of course!” He gave her a pat on the back. “Go. I’m right here”_

_So Clementine gave him one last look before climbing on top of the RV and sitting down next to Lilly._

_Lilly glanced at her, without saying a word._

_She handed her the rifle._

_“Do you know how these work?” She asked her. Clementine shook her head. She had never gotten the chance to work with sniper rifles. “Here. I’ll show you”_

Δ

Clementine had never thought of herself as a particularly good liar. The second day walking up the shore of the Ohio River, looking for the Delta, the main thought that plagued her mind was:

How the fuck was she going to convince them she wasn’t a spy?

Because she was putting a lot of faith on the history she had with Lilly. She hoped Lilly would trust her more easily. She hoped whatever sense of caring they once had for each other would make her lies less obvious.

So she considered herself very, very lucky when she found herself sitting in the Council’s table, surrounded by people she didn’t know but, with Lilly right next to her, seemed to believe her story.

Lilly had guided her inside the building in front of the wide yard meant for training and, apparently, keeping horses. Said building was made of brick, had two stories and was as big as the length of the training yard, being separated from it by only a thin street. A military jeep was parked right next to the door.

She was at an office inside the building, with four strangers plus Lilly observing at her. One of them sat on the chair behind the desk. Someone stood by the doorframe.

They had taken her knife and her gun. She was completely defenseless.

“He’s dead” She said, once again, with a pained voice. “AJ’s dead”

The trick, she realized, was to imagine it was true. To think about AJ’s lifeless body on the ground.

It wasn’t very hard, considering she had thought him dead for a long time already, years prior. She just had to evoke that feeling back.

The mental image triggered _something_ inside of her.

“Clem” Lilly said, in the same tone of voice she used whenever she patiently explained her what kind of gun was the one she was using, back at the Motor Inn, or when she handed her the best pieces of food. “We need to know the full story”

Clementine nodded and sniffed. She didn’t think she’d be so good at pretending to cry.

She recalled how she had to turn her back to AJ and walk away from him. Twice.

Oh god, what if something happened to him while she was gone?

“It was after you found us” She managed to say. While traveling to the Delta, she had realized it would be better not to make Lilly look bad, revealing she had purposely let her go, so she added: “When we ran from you. We thought we would be better on our own, but…” She wiped a tear away. “The New Frontier. They found us”

“The New Frontier!” The man behind the desk exclaimed. “Those fucking pirates. No wonder you’re so shaken”

“Dammit, Andrew. Keep it quiet” Another council member, a woman, scolded him.

Clementine pressed her eyes shut. She had thought about her plan a lot.

…But what if—?

“I was one of them” She continued with her plan, under the judging eyes of the Council members. She carefully rolled up her left sleeve, showing them the brand. “It was years ago. We left after they did this to me”

They observed her silently for a long moment. She didn’t miss Lilly’s surprised expression. It was five adults, three of which were women. The girl by the doorframe didn’t count.

“How do we know you’re not just trying to infiltrate our walls?” The other man, the one who wasn’t Andrew, asked.

Clementine’s heart gave a leap inside her chest. She bit her tongue and tried to remain unfazed.

They were going to find out. They were going to know she was lying.

“Why would they send a spy with a brand?” She asked. “They have people without brands, too”

“If she were a spy, I wouldn’t have found her a week ago” Lilly argued.

“You didn’t tell us anything” Andrew accused. He was tall and he looked like he didn’t have a single hair in his body. Not even his eyebrows.

“She and the boy ran before I could do anything” she lied. Clementine almost couldn’t believe she was lying, but she guessed she was doing it to save her own skin. She didn’t think the Delta was kind to traitors and deserters. “That was the day of the ambush, and you know they don’t let kids fight. They wouldn’t have bothered to take her with them”

Andrew scratched his imaginary beard.

“True” He admitted.

“Kid” one of the other women, the one with her hair into a bun, said. “Keep going”

“Right” Clementine rubbed her eye, as if wiping away a tear. The girl by the door was staring at her. “Before I ran, Lilly mentioned something about another group, I think. I didn’t know it was them” She looked at Lilly. Her presence was almost comforting. She was the only person she knew in the room. “AJ was sick when you found us. I don’t know if you noticed” She didn’t wait for Lilly’s response. “So I tried to find this other group. I thought… maybe I could snatch some medicine or something…” She remembered everything. She recalled Dr. Lingard using the medicine that could save a kid’s life to get high. Recalled being blamed for it when the medicine was gone. Her eyes started to water out of frustration and she purposely let the tears fall. “They caught us” She said. “And when they saw who we were… they… they…” She wiped a tear away. “They killed him. To make sure I wouldn’t try to steal from them again. They…” She conjured up the image of AJ’s dead body. It was repulsing and terrifying. What if he wasn’t okay? “They shot him. In the face. Then they tried to shoot me too, and I had to run. I couldn’t…” She buried her face in her hands. She kind of wondered if her acting was too much, because she was certainly not the most qualified person for the job, but it did seem to convince them. She turned to Lilly once again. “You were right” She forced herself to say. The words tasted gross in her mouth. “I should have gone with you”

“Oh, kid” The other woman said. “I’m so sorry you went through this”

“Those fucking bastards” Andrew grumbled.

“Clem” Lilly said. “Is everything you say true?”

Clementine sniffed and glared at her. She didn’t miss the other girl’s eyes on her. It was disturbing.

“Of course it is!” She lied. “I wouldn’t lie about this”

Thankfully, Lilly believed her. She squeezed her shoulder, as if trying to comfort her.

“What do you think?” Andrew asked Lilly.

“We need as much people as we can get” she said. “I don’t see why this would be an exception”

Clementine finally looked at the girl, and it hit her like a freight train.

It was Sophie. Except that it couldn’t be Sophie, because Sophie was still at Ericson, she had long hair and would never be trusted to keep guard. But she was identical to Sophie. She was at least a head taller than her and she had half of her red head shaved. When Clementine returned the stare, she quickly looked away.

Sophie’s long lost sister. Minerva.

It really was that easy. She’d found her.

Only one more to go.

Δ

“You lied” Lilly said.

Clementine stopped dead on her tracks, her footsteps leaving irregular footprints in the thin sheet of snow that covered the concrete street.

Her heart hammered painfully against her ribs.

She let out a shaky breath. It was so cold it turned into a cloud.

“I didn’t” She promised.

They were walking by a chain link fence. They had streetlights, but they didn’t have them turned on at night, and so, in the darkness, Clementine couldn’t clearly distinguish what was behind the fence. She could barely see the grass at the light of Lilly’s flashlight, but no more.

There was a watch tower was by the wall, and if Clementine’s calculations were right, they must be in the center of the base. There was also a smaller one, not far from them, in the corner where the sidewalk turned left. But it was dark and silent. If Lilly decided to kill her in the spot, no one would see or hear anything.

 “You said you ran from me” Lilly explained. “You could have said I let you go”

Clementine’s shoulders dropped. She allowed herself to breathe in.

False alarm.

“I didn’t think it’d be good for you” She explained. “Didn’t want to get you in trouble”

It was true, she guessed.

They reached the end of the chain link fence, which gave a ninety degrees turn and continued around the corner, to Clementine’s left. It formed a square that surrounded a big dirt yard. She wondered if they grew their food there.

They were standing at the foot of the makeshift interior watch tower. Clementine observed that the cabin where the guard must be was covered by horizontal wooden planks with a small space between them, as if to hide them from sight. Anyone inside could see everything around them, but Clementine couldn’t even see if there was someone inside. It could be empty, for all she knew.

She’d been looking at the tower for so long she hadn’t noticed the lights in front of her.

Across the street, at least a dozen of green military tents of various sizes and qualities filled a parking lot, behind which five huge storage buildings stood. Several guards patrolled the area, walking among the tents and standing by the storage buildings, all of which looked like tubes chopped in half. All guards had flashlights, but besides the occasional camping light hanging from one or two of the tents, they were the only sources of light in the place. Without them, they’d be in the dark. A second makeshift watch tower made of wood and metal planks rose as tall as the storage buildings, in the middle of the parking lot. You could probably see everything from up there. Clementine couldn’t see if there was anyone inside, either, but she guessed it still served as a menace, even empty. She wondered if the whole inside of the place was constantly under watch. A few broken vehicle parts were scattered around the parking lot.

Lilly stopped before crossing the street, standing on the corner of the chain link fence, by the foot of the watch tower.

“So you lied for me?” She asked.

She was so comfortable speaking out loud right next to a watch tower, Clementine deduced it actually _was_ empty.

Clementine shrugged and looked away from Lilly, observing the soldiers in the parking lot. They were still too far to hear them.

They were wearing the same military jackets and carrying the same weapons she saw them use at the train station. Somewhere near the extreme of the parking lot, a broken cart with a cage lay abandoned. It looked just the same as the one Marlon and Abel had tried to trap her in.

She suddenly snapped back into reality, and remembered that no matter how nice Lilly was, she still tried to kill her friends. She still held a gun to AJ’s head. She and these men hurt children.

She still did something to Minerva’s head, something so fucked up that would lead her to hurt her own sister the way she did.

How dare she forget about it for even a minute?

“I guess” She finally scoffed. “Why did you let me go?”

She thought she knew the answer. Something along the lines of ‘For the old times’, but she wanted to hear it from Lilly.

Lilly pressed her eyes shut and sighed.

“I probably shouldn’t have” She said.

“But you did” Clementine insisted. She tried to put her anger aside for the moment. For the sake of her mission.

“You caught me off guard. That’s all” Lilly muttered.

Did her voice shake? Yeah, it shook. It was the perfect time to drop the bomb.

Clementine took a second to regain composure and said:

“Lilly… We were family once, right?”

Lilly’s expression changed in the moment. Her eyes opened and her eyebrows rose. She wasn’t expecting that one.

Still out of guard, it seemed. Clementine bit the inside of her cheek to hold back her smirk.

Lilly took in a deep breath.

“We were” she replied after a moment.

Maybe this was going to be easier than Clementine thought.

They started walking towards the tents and crossed the streets. One of the soldiers spotted Lilly. He straightened his back and asked:

“New recruit?”

Lilly nodded.

“Everything in order here?” She asked.

“Not exactly” The man said reluctantly. “We found the Fairbanks kid sleeping in the barracks. He wasn’t allowed, was he?”

So, these were the barracks. Why did Clementine suspect Lilly and the other council members slept in more comfortable places?

She wondered if this was where the stolen kids slept. In cold storage buildings, stored like war weapons.

“Fuck” Lilly muttered. “Where is he now?”

“He was already taken to the school” He said. “We had a problem with his friend, the girl”

Lilly sighed.

“Why am I not surprised?” She scoffed. “I’ll take care of it after I finish this”

The man looked at Clementine. He had this expression that screamed incompetence and stupidity, while proudly wearing a military jacket as if he deserved a golden star simply for having it.

“Showing her around?” He asked. He extended a hand to Clementine. “Name’s John, by the way”

Clementine didn’t bother to shake his hand.

“Clementine” she drily introduced herself.

Right. This place was infested with murderers.

Lilly put a hand on her shoulder.

“Clementine is joining us. She came to our doors on her own” Lilly explained.

John’s eyebrows rose to his hairline.

“That’s good to hear” He said. “I’ll leave you to it”

He walked away and Lilly continued to lead Clementine among the tents and towards one of the storage buildings.

“Do you do this for everyone?” She asked.

“That’s my job” Lilly said.

“Giving private tours?”

“I take care of young recruits” she corrected her. Clementine couldn’t believe Lilly was her fucking babysitter.

Lilly exchanged some words with the soldier guarding the door that Clementine didn’t pay attention to before opening the door and gesturing at Clementine to get inside.

The doors of the building itself were so big you could probably fit a tank through it, but a smaller door had been cut for people. Lilly didn’t walk through it. Instead, she made Clementine cross first.

There was noise before, the sound of people chattering and walking and shifting, but as Clementine walked it, it turned into an eerie silence.

The building looked smaller from the inside, because it was so overcrowded, there as barely any space to move. There were at least two dozen double beds and about the same quantity of cots and mattresses lying on the floor against the walls, where kids slept. Well, some of them slept, but most of them were simply sitting on their beds, talking or playing with an old toy. There were as many boys as girls, and half of them couldn’t be older than thirteen. In fact, none of them seemed to have reached adulthood yet.

Despite the beds, most of the space in the building was occupied by the sleeping bags, the mattresses and the simple bundles of blankets on the floor. Big boxes of diverse materials piled up in the corners close to the door, and covered most of the wall opposite to the gate, hidden in the darkness.

The only sources of light were the flickering white tubes hanging from the ceiling from a tangle of wires. They casted an uselessly dim, dirty light in the whole space. Clementine wondered if they turned them off to sleep, because it was so dark, it probably wouldn’t be necessary.

Most kids didn’t pay attention to her as she walked in, but a few lifted their heads with little interest before going back to what they were doing.

“There’s an empty bed for you over there” Lilly gestured at a dirty cot not far from there. “I wouldn’t take too long, or someone else will grab it”

“I thought you said you had beds” Clementine remarked.

“We do” Lilly countered. “But not enough for everyone”

Clementine gave the barrack a long, thoughtful look. The walls had been somewhat reinforced with scrap materials, probably to keep the heat, and the floor was dirty with litter, dirt and fluids of some sort that must soak the sheets of those sleeping on the floor. Ericson sounded like a fucking nun school compared to the Delta barracks.

The adults must live in the main building, Clementine concluded.

 “You made the right choice by coming here, Clementine” Lilly said. Clementine forced herself to nod. “Welcome to your new home”

Δ

Clementine walked over to her new bed and sat on it, hugging her backpack to her chest. It was hard and you could feel the bars of the cot through the mattress, but it was still more comfortable than sleeping on the ground like she’d been doing for the last week.

She looked around, trying to find a familiar face. Minnie was nowhere to be seen—perhaps she slept in a different barrack. Neither was Gabe. On the other hand, years had passed since the last time she saw him. He must have changed, and she didn’t even remember his face that way. She could recognize Mariana when she saw her, but if someone asked her to describe her before, she wouldn’t be able to. Maybe she was looking for the wrong face. Maybe Gabe was in a different barrack, which was the most likely, or maybe something had happened to him.

She noticed most of the people sleeping on the beds were older kids, while the youngest ones had to stick to the floor, and she felt a pang of contempt towards them. They were bigger and stronger. Were they seriously making little kids sleep on the floor? How pathetic could you be to steal the bed from a ten years old kid?

She decided she should probably give her cot to a younger kid who needed it more than her. The cold hard ground barely bothered her anyways, after all those years.

She turned her head to see if there was any younger kid sleeping near her.

She was met by a single green eye staring back at her.

The other girl quickly looked away. She was sitting on top of a sleeping bag, with her knees pulled to her chest. Her short blonde hair fell over her face, covering most of the left half of it. Clementine quickly recognized her as the girl that met her at the wall. She had a bruise on her jaw that she hadn’t seen before.

Better start getting to know people, she guessed.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the girl interrupted her:

“I don’t know why I get the feeling you’re Lilly’s fucking favorite” She mocked. “Must have something to do with the luxury bed they gave you. I don’t know”

Clementine raised an eyebrow. Okay. This was going to be difficult, then.

“Do you want it?” She asked. It was better not to pick fights and she was going to give the bed away anyways. “I mean, I wanted to give it to one of the kids”

“Whatever” The girl shrugged. It looked like she was trying to remain angry. “Keep it for now, if you want. I’m saving it for a friend”

“Why aren’t they here now?” She asked.

The girl rolled her eyes.

“Right. You’re new” She grimaced. “That’s none of your business”

Clementine nodded. She hoped not all people were like that.

She suddenly missed Gabe a lot.

“Does everyone sleep like this?” She asked. She already knew the answer before the girl gave it.

“Come on, do you think Lilly sleeps here?” She sneered. “Most grow ups sleep in the main building, the one at the front. They have their own bedrooms and shit”

“That doesn’t sound very fair” Clementine pointed out.

“Yeah, well, try to tell them that” she gave a bitter chuckle. “But if Lilly loves you so much, I bet my ass you’ll be moving there soon”

“I’d rather die than live with them” she joked.

“Just try spending a night here”

Clementine was about to ask her name, but then the doors slammed open, and the kids who were not in their beds yet scurried under the blankets and pretended to be asleep. The barrack was suddenly swallowed by a tense silence.

Clementine’s heart started beating faster. She glanced at the girl, and saw the expression of sheer terror in her face.

The guards at the entrance gripped their guns, ready to shoot.

Clementine immediately let herself fall to the side of the cot to hide from their sight. She pulled the blankets so they reached the floor and blocked her from view completely. The girl quickly got her idea and rushed next to her. She could hear her ragged breathing and she was sure that if she came just a little closer, she’d hear her heartbeat as well.

They sat there, Clementine crouched and ready to run, and the other girl with her knees against her chest.

For a moment, there wasn’t a sound in the building. The air stayed still with the dozens of kids holding their breaths.

They waited.

Clementine’s hand instinctively looked for her knife, usually attached to her hip, but the holster was empty.

Right.

Then, there was a crash. The sound of sobbing.

“Leave me alone!”

“For fuck’s sake, stop moving!” a male voice growled.

A smack and more crying. It was a kid.

The girl next to Clementine suddenly tensed up. She was absolutely paralyzed, like a rabbit. She wondered if she was even breathing.

Something hit the metal wall of the barrack repeatedly, like a hammer trying to catch the kid’s attention.

“Everyone, listen up!” Lilly’s voice commanded. Some heads timidly peaked out the bundles of blankets, but most kids remained hidden. Lilly continued: “As some of you may know, someone from here has been playing difficult for some time” she said. “Someone who put our lives in danger. Someone who ruined our last mission” her steps echoed inside the building, shaking the kids to the bone. “Now, he received the appropriate correction, but it seems as if wasn’t enough for him to understand” She kicked someone, and they gave a pained huff. “Is that right?”

The crying resumed.

“Now, tell them what you did” Lilly ordered.

The kid gave a pained sob.

“I… I deserted” the kid whimpered. “I was… was a cowards and I p—put everyone in danger b—because of it”

“And?” Lilly insisted. The kid sobbed again.

“It’s m—my fault we—we lost so many people” he cried. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”

“Oh, shut up” the male voice commanded. The kid immediately went silent.

None of the kids in the barracks said a thing. None of them jumped to attack him and none of them jumped to defend him.

“Now, he wasn’t alone during his last offence, was he?” Lilly continued. The girl next to Clementine gave a rigid flinch. “This is not something that can be overlooked” more footsteps. They were closer now. Lilly was probably only ten feet away from them now. Clementine could practically feel the girl’s own fear. There was a moment of silence and then, like a string snapping, it was over.

Lilly called:

“Violet!”

The girl snapped her eyes shut. Her hands were shaking as she gripped her knees.

Violet, Violet, _Violet_.

There she was.

“I know you’re here” Lilly continued. “This doesn’t have to be any more difficult that it already is”

The girl took in a deep breath and stood up.

Clementine’s heart gave a leap. If this was really Violet, she couldn’t let her get hurt. Sophie and Louis would kill her.

“I’m here” Violet said, clenching her fists.

Clementine couldn’t see Lilly, but she could almost hear her smug smirk.

“Why is it always you?” Lilly mocked. “Always making things harder”

Violet remained silent, staring at Lilly dead in the eye.

Then, she said.

“Please let him go” She swallowed and shifted in her place. “Isn’t it enough?”

“You’re not the one who to decide that” Lilly corrected her. “Or do I need to remind you what happens to deserters?”

Violet bit down her lip and took a step back.

“It was all me” She said. “I got him out. It wasn’t his fault”

Lilly chuckled sarcastically.

“Violet always defending the less fortunate ones” she mocked. “I bet you think you’re a savior. But I know that’s not true. Someone saw him coming out of the school on his own”

Someone else walked inside and Violet turned her head slightly to look at them.

“It’s true” a new but eerily familiar voice muttered. “I saw him climb out through the window. Violet wasn’t there”

_Sophie._

No, not Sophie.

“…Minnie…” Violet said.

Sophie’s voice. Minnie’s voice. Their shared single face, so scarily the same and yet so different.

Sophie would never throw someone under the bus like that.

The kid sobbed.

“It was all me!” he cried. “She didn’t do anything!”

“She sneaked you in and hid you when she knew exactly what it meant” Lilly snapped.

Clementine didn’t have her knife. She was unarmed. She and dozens of kids under the watch of no more than five adults with guns.

She had never felt so impotent, so out of control in her life.

It was like being a little kid again.

It was terrifying.

Violet looked at someone, the man that was with Lilly.

“Tom, don’t you dare—” Violet threatened.

The man chuckled.

“Or what, missy?”

There was a sound of shifting, and the frantic murmur of scared kids rose in the room.

Violet’s expression turned to horror.

“No! Don’t you fucking—!”

The boy screamed. It was a broken shriek that must have woken up every walker in the forest. Some kids started crying.

Clementine peaked through the corner of the cot, and only saw a puddle of blood, staining the blankets and sleeping bags around it.

“Now you all go the fuck to sleep!” The man, Tom, roared. “We have a long day of preparations tomorrow and I don’t want any of you pulling on my dick”

Violet jumped over the cot and rushed to the kid. Clementine immediately stood up, ready to defend her if they tried to hurt her, but Lilly had already turned around and was walking out the door.

 “Let this be a warning” Were her last words before the door slammed shut, and the kids were left alone once again.

Lilly hadn’t even seen her.

Clementine let out a shaky breath, and anger hit her like a train.

Lilly had killed Carley. Lilly had kidnapped Sophie and the girls. Lilly had scarred them for life.

And to think half an hour before Clementine had called her family.

She felt gross.

Violet held the kid in her arms as he cried. He couldn’t be older than ten. A few kids looked at him, but they didn’t dare to go help him. He was clutching his bloody left hand. His sleeve and most of his clothes were soaked in his own blood.

The sight was repulsing, but Clementine still walked up to them. She had some disinfectant in her backpack. She grabbed it and stood up—maybe she could do something about it.

She stepped on something, and it almost made her vomit.

A pinky finger covered on blood. The kid’s finger.

God, Lilly had cut off his finger.

She covered her mouth. She couldn’t believe it.

Lilly wouldn’t—

This wasn’t the Lilly she knew.

This wasn’t her family.

But she had other matters to attend, so she pushed away her revulsion and she took in a shaky breath before approaching Violet and the kid.

Violet stood up, still with a hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked the other kids.

“Are they going to hurt us?” Someone asked.

Violet shook her head.

“They got what they wanted” She said. “If we keep our heads down, we should be okay”

“He deserted” another kid said. “He deserved what he got”

It was a boy, maybe a bit younger than Clementine. Violet glared at him.

“He didn’t deserve shit” She said through gritted teeth. “Go fetch me some bandages or fuck off”

The boy gave her a frustrated look, but ran to grab some strips of fabric from under his pillow anyways.

She kneeled in front of the kid once again and said something to him. Clementine took this chance to talk to them.

“Hey” She said. “I got some disinfectant”

Five minutes later, the kid (Alex, Violet had told her) was sitting on Clementine’s cot while Violet wrapped his left hand in clean bandages. A girl ran up to Violet to hand her a bottle of water for Alex. He didn’t want anyone but Violet to touch him, so Clementine stood next to them, making sure nothing happened and occasionally glancing at the door, in case anyone came in.

Her heart was just starting to calm down, only to pick up every time she saw Alex’s bloody hand.

_AJ, crying inside the car. The walkers surrounding them. The car door slamming on her hand._

_It was so fucked up, so beyond saving, and it had gotten so infected, so she had to tear it off herself. Her ring finger. She used a knife to do the job._

_Cutting through blood and bone and hitting every nerve, snapping the finger out of her hand like a dry twig, sending shots of pain to her brain to the point it was so overwhelmed she saw all black. She cried and AJ cried because he saw her cry._

_She cried, and when she stopped crying, she vomited, because the sight of her hand with four fingers was sickening._

_She’d done it to herself. She was thirteen._

“Vi, it’s gone” Alex whimpered. “It—it’s gone”

“I know. Don’t move”

“It hurts…”

Clementine snapped back to reality. She was shaking. She hadn’t realized she had started shaking.

“I know what it’s like” She said. “I lost a finger too”

She didn’t show him her bad hand, because she worried that would only make him feel worse.

“I can’t believe it’s gone”

He looked up at her. He looked so small, he almost reminded her of AJ.

In fact, he looked vaguely familiar.

“It gets better” She added. She took a seat next to him. “You’re going to look at your hand, and you’ll feel weird when you see it’s not there” She said. “It will take some time, but it will heal, and you’ll learn to live with it”

The kid simply whimpered. He was still in shock.

He turned to Violet.

“They won’t let me go to Carson, will they?” He asked.

Violet shook her head.

“I don’t think so” She replied. “You need to stay here and recover”

Some minutes later, he lied down on the bed and quickly fell asleep. The soldier keeping guard handed Clementine an old sleeping bag and she ended up laying it next to Violet’s, since it was one of the only free spaces on the ground, and she could easily keep an eye on her that way.

The idea didn’t make Violet very happy. Once the soldier announced it was time to sleep and switched off the lights, she turned away from Clementine.

They weren’t even that close, but in the darkness, Clementine could still hear her rigid breathing over the sound of snoring kids, the movement outside the barrack and Alex’s occasional whimpers.

She lied on her back, staring at the ceiling. The only source of light was the guard’s flashlight. There was some whispering, too low for the soldier to actually hear, but it was there.

She caught something through the corner of her eye, and when she turned, she was struck with the sight of Violet staring at her.

In the dim light of the single moving flashlight, she saw the eye patch covering her left eye.

She hadn’t seen the eye patch before. Her hair had been covering it. And it was a nice looking eye patch, black and red and in pretty good state. Why cover if it was so pretty? Why have a pretty eye patch if you were going to cover it anyways?

But she realized the eye patch was the least of her concerns when she saw the expression in Violet’s face.

“So that was your best friend” She scoffed. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Look” Clementine said. “I’m not friends with Lilly. I knew her years ago and I found her again now.  Do you think I support this?”

Violet hummed.

“You came here on your own” She said. “Did you know Lilly was here?”

“I heard something about it” she replied. She decided it was time to test the waters. “I take you don’t like Lilly a lot”

“What makes you think that?” Violet grimaced. She sat up and took a deep breath. “I know she wants the best for the Delta and all, but—fuck!” She pulled her knees to her chest. “It’s like she doesn’t realize this is only hurting us more”

Clementine thought Lilly knew that very well. She did know she was hurting people.

“But everyone says it’s for the greater good so…” Violet shrugged. “Who knows. I just wish they didn’t go that far. Especially on kids”

She glanced at Alex, sleeping on his cot.

“It’s not fucking fair” she muttered.

“It really isn’t” Clementine agreed. Violet’s head perked up, as if she wasn’t counting o Clementine hearing her. “What did he even do?”

Violet sighed.

“He was sent on a mission a week ago. People started shooting at each other, he got scared and hid from them”

“That’s understandable”

“The whole mission was a stupid fucking mess, and we lost a lot of people. Lilly blamed him, although that doesn’t make any fucking sense. He was locked in, and he got out today”

Clementine nodded.

“This is so messed up” She whispered.

“It is” Violet concurred. There was a long moment of silence, and then she added: “Thank you.  For giving him the cot and shit. He needs it”

Clementine smiled.

“You’re welcome” She glanced at the sleeping boy. “He was talking about… going to Carson. What’s that about?”

“It’s nothing” Violet said. “Some raiders took over one of our outposts a few months ago. We’re sending a scouting party to check the surroundings and make a plan to take it back. He wanted to go, to prove his loyalty or whatever” She shrugged. “I don’t think that’s happening”

“I see why” Clementine said. “He needs to rest right now. He’s so young…”

“Well” Violet lay down again. “You’ll get used to it, I guess”

Δ

Hours after the lights were switched off, no matter how tired she was, Clementine would lay down in her sleeping bag with her eyes wide open, thinking about the events of the night.

Lilly had mutilated a little boy in front of dozens of kids. She’d scarred him for life.

And she couldn’t do anything.

No knife, no people to rely on, not even the ability to stand up to Lilly and try to stop her. Because she needed to pretend she as on her side. Because she needed to get close to her and keep her guard down. Because she needed to play family and not raise suspicions.

She rubbed her eyes. She was powerless. Maybe more powerless than she had ever been. Maybe she couldn’t do it. Maybe Sophie had overestimated her abilities when she sent her on that mission. Maybe the girls were a lost cause.

And she was alone. In enemy territory. Pretending to be someone she was not. Surrounded by cannibals that would turn on her and hurt her worse than they hurt the kid if they found out about her true intentions.

Maybe she had grown too used to having people. Maybe she’d grown too used to relying on others. To having someone to trust.

There was no one she could trust now. Not even Violet and definitely not Minerva. Maybe she could still find Gabe but… being honest, being the nephew of the enemy leader, chances were he was dead already. Or worse.

The thought made her stomach sink. Chances were her friend was dead.

And if she failed… God, if she failed. If they found out about the school’s location, they’d go after them. They’d take everyone and do what they did to Violet and Minerva. They’d hurt AJ. They’d break him and they’d turn him into someone else.

AJ…

Maybe she had grown too used to having AJ by her side.

Because she could always trust AJ. They almost always thought the same—she had raised him, after all. And she could be honest most times. Sure, she had to keep a lot of her pain to herself, but when she had AJ, she had never been _alone_.

AJ was her everything. He was her reason to live. He was her reason to fight. To give him a small chance.

She wondered if Mitch and Louis were treating him well, if he was getting along with Tenn, if Sophie was taking care of hill well. She wondered if he was scared without his big sister sleeping in the bed next to his. If he had trouble sleeping. If he was scared of the people around him. If he felt alone without her.

Being alone was _scary_.

Fuck, what if he wasn’t okay? What if Mitch had hurt him? What if Louis had turned on him and done something? Louis wouldn’t hurt a little boy… right? Or would he? What if they had just waited until she was out of sight and then immediately killed him? What if he was dead? What if he was hurt? What if they used him as walker bait?

Clementine had trouble sleeping without AJ in the same room as well.

He was probably so, so scared.

And a small, selfish part of her wished he was there with her, in the Delta, fighting by her side. That way, neither of them would be alone. She could keep him safe. He was _supposed_ to be with her. That was just how things were. They wouldn’t be scared if they were together.

She grabbed her backpack, which she had been using as a pillow, and hugged it to her chest. Maybe she could pretend it was her little boy, for a moment.

It didn’t work.

Being alone was terrifying.

Δ

It had been eight years since the last time she took a proper shower.

No more cleaning herself once a month in the river. No more pouring cold water on herself and getting sick as a result. Not even at Ericson were her baths this comfortable.

She walked inside the shower stall, closed the curtains so all the other girls taking showers wouldn’t see her and proceeded to undress. She didn’t like undressing. She didn’t even fully undressed when she took baths at Ericson. It made her feel exposed and defenseless.

She still forced herself to undress and when the hot water hit her body, she almost jumped away from it.

It had been so long, so long since she had a shower. It was strange, how the hot hard rain fell on her. She wasn’t used to it.

It was incredibly comforting and relaxing, to allow herself a moment of peace. She only had five minutes, they’d told her. But she took her time to enjoy the water and get rid of all the dirt in her body. She hadn’t been this clean in years.

For a moment, she imagined nothing had changed. She still lived with her parents in her house on the outsides of Atlanta, and she was just taking a quick shower before school. She’d be in high school, right?

But there wasn’t such thing as high school anyways, her parents were dead and her Atlanta house was miles away. As soon as the mental image came it left, and she turned off the water, dressed up again with the new clothes they gave her and quickly left the showers.

The showers were in the main building, and they were the only showers in the Delta besides the ones in the gym, so they were very crowded. Some women even shared stalls. Clementine was glad to get out. The steam was already making it hard to breathe.

The dining hall was big and had too many tables to count. It had a window that gave to the kitchen, where the cookers were handing trays with food to the soldiers. Yep. Sophie would say it was definitely like being in school again.

She took the first empty seat she could find. Most adults were wearing military jackets. Some even wore full army camo uniforms. The kids only had normal coats and jackets to protect them from the cold.

She caught a glimpse of someone, a few tables away. A boy with an orange beanie and a dumbass face she recognized instantly. He had a small scar above his eyebrow. She didn’t know the would had left a scar. It was bandaged last time she saw him.

Gabe didn’t see her, but she already had a plan in her head.

It started now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I was reading Philip’s Pullman “Northern Lights” while writing this. It’s a fantastic book btw. Totally recommend. It’s actually a bit similar to this fic! With adults kidnapping kids and a girl traveling to the Arctic to find her friend. Friendship ended with Jon Snow. Lyra Belaqua Silvertongue is my new best friend.  
> Violet basically being an aunt to all these kids. Not a mom. Moms are too gentle. Definitely an aunt or a cool older cousin.  
> Also not so subtle references to The Deserter’s Song, eh? eh? Which in case you don’t remember was the song/title of the first chapter. I LOVE that song, by the way. Is anyone here listening to the chapter songs? Because please do! It has, you know, a meaning and all  
> Comments warm my heart.  
> Also before anyone starts calling me a Lilly Apologist or whatever... *please* remember this is about what Clementine thinks, not about what's actually going on. This is, this is how you write character arcs. This is how books are made.   
> Chapter 10: "Cherry Wine" will be posted on September 8th, 2019.


	12. Cherry Wine

_“Her eyes and words are so icy_  
_Oh but she burns_  
_Like rum on the fire_  
_Hot and fast and angry as she can be_  
_I walk my days on a wire._

_It looks ugly, but it’s clean,  
Oh momma, don’t fuss over me._

_The way she tells me I’m hers and she is mine_  
_Open hand or closed fist would be fine_  
_The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine”_

–“[Cherry Wine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdSCCwtNEjA)”. By Hozier.

Δ

Violet skipped breakfast for the next two days.

Instead of eating in the dining hall in the main building like everyone else, she hid her rations of food in a bag and hurried back to the barracks to give it to Alex. She told him she had already eaten, of course.

She had tried to convince Asha to bring them food, but it hadn’t worked.

She had approached her before breakfast, planning on asking for her help for the next week.

“Hey” Violet had muttered. “Could you help me with something?”

Asha had ignored her, simply taking a tray and walking towards the window between the kitchen and the dining hall.

Violet was already getting scared. She hadn’t wanted to make her angry.

“Ash, please”

“I heard about what you did” She had said in a hard tone. “We fucking talked about this, Violet”

Hearing her friend snap at her like that hurt, but she tried not to think about that. Seeing as she wasn’t getting any help she decided to hide some food to give Alex.

As she was walking towards the door, a hand gripped her arm and yanked her inside the bathroom.

“What the fuck were you thinking!?” Asha shouted in her face. Violet wanted to scurry away, but she couldn’t move a muscle. She could only return Asha’s glare.

Asha drew her hand back and smacked her across the face. She seized her by the shoulders and pressed her against the wall again.

“What the fuck were you thinking!?”

Violet’s heart pounded rapidly in her ribcage. She didn’t move. She didn’t even dare to breathe.

“Breaking the rules like that!” Asha continued. “We told you. I told you a million times, Violet!”

She let her go and took a step back.

“I heard about what you did. The kids must think you’re a fucking Robin Hood or something” Asha mocked. “Taking Alex out of the school like that. Do you have an idea of what those things do to kids, Violet?” She grimaced. “I don’t like how Minnie always says you’re stupid, but you’re starting to test my patience”

What..?

Minnie said what…?

Violet crossed her arms and looked down. She deserved it, she guessed.

“Oh my god, Vi. And you even dare to be offended” Asha scoffed. “The School is there for a reason, Vi. _Rules_ are there for a reason. We gave you a simple instruction and you can’t even do that. And what was it?”

Violet bit her lip.

“Answer me” Asha insisted.

“You told me to make him regret it” she mumbled.

“Yet he didn’t regret it enough to behave, it seems” She gave her a violent push and the back of her head hit the wall painfully. “If he had truly regretted it, he would have learned. See? That’s what I was trying to do back there. We’re trying to educate these kids” Another push. Violet just let herself be pushed around. “But you! Not only you disobey direct orders and fill his head with bullshit, but you also condone inadequate behavior. Spending the night at the school is part of the disciplinary process, yet you… You just want to ruin everything, don’t you?” Another slap that threw her head to the side. It stung, but she didn’t let it show. It was okay. “Listen, Violet. If this is how you’re going to behave, then we can’t be friends anymore”

Asha took a step back.

No. No, Violet didn’t want to lose Asha. She didn’t have a lot of friends and she _couldn’t_ lose one of the only persons she was close to.

Asha had always been good with her. She was the first one to be nice when she first arrived

“I won’t do it again” Violet promised. She was trying not to sound desperate.

Asha sighed.

“But you know the thing, Violet, you always say you won’t do it again. You fuck things up and then you say you’ll behave from then on, but that’s always a lie”

She raised her hand and Violet raised her arms to block the next smack, but nothing came.

“I don’t give a shit about your promises” Asha said. “I care that you keep them and follow the rules. Understood?”

Violet didn’t want to nod and agree, but she didn’t have a lot of options.

So she nodded weakly.

“Good” Asha said. “Now get the fuck out of here”

And so she ran to the barracks to give Alex the food. He didn’t want to go out with everyone else and he was in too much pain to move a lot.

She didn’t cry. She absolutely didn’t cry. She didn’t want any of the kids to worry and she didn’t want to admit Asha had hurt her.

 She knew she was supposed to forgive Asha. She was only doing her job and being loyal to her family. It was stupid to be angry at her when it was all Violet’s fault.

She tried to forgive Asha, just like she tried to forgive Minnie.

Because Minnie… she was doing her job as well. She was following the rules, and the rules had been made to keep everyone safe. Maybe Alex had made a mistake and put people in danger, and they were trying to… correct a dangerous behavior, so no more people would die. Right?

Fuck. She couldn’t do that.

No one would fucking die if they let Alex sleep on his bed for the night instead of in the cold floors of the School. She’d sneaked him in and kept him out of sight of the soldiers for a whole hour before they realized he was missing, and nothing bad would have happened if they hadn’t gotten violent with them. She’d been hurt worse by the soldier who dragged him away when she stood between them, but even her bruise in her jaw had faded quickly.

But Alex had lost a finger, and that something that could not be ignored.

Maybe keeping their head down was the right thing to do. Her eye patch always reminded her of this.

She was thinking about this while she stared at Minnie, as the horses dragged the cart they were sitting in.

The plan had been settled quickly. Carson was only 100 miles away from the Delta. They couldn’t risk the New Frontier having an outpost so close to them. So now a caravan of seven horse pulled carts and four big military transport cars were leaving the Delta’s gates at dawn, heading southeast.

No one had fucking told her she was supposed to go!

Alex, of course, had been left behind. Violet had instructed him to make sure no one stole her especial sleeping bag, the one she’d snatched from the main building before she lost her eye. Meanwhile, Violet herself went on a suicide mission with Minnie, fucking Gabriel and his new best friend, this Clementine girl.

They had clicked almost immediately. They wouldn’t stop talking until night when they had to go to their respective barracks, and they’d be together again as soon as breakfast started. It was obvious there was something going on between them, even after just two fucking days. Poor Clementine didn’t seem to realize he didn’t deserve her time.

The adults going with them in the cart were Dorian, who led the horses, and three other soldiers whose names Violet didn’t know or care about, but Minnie had greeted them in a nice manner, so they must be close. Besides them, two other boys of fifteen and seventeen years old respectively were silently sitting on the cart and watching the moving landscape.

Minnie had always been better at making friends than she was. No wonder everyone liked her so much.

Though being nice and friendly could attract unwanted company, and Fucking Tom was the living proof of this.

“All I’m saying” Tom said as he scratched his beard. “That wasn’t me. No, sir. Everyone loves pointing fingers and blaming other people for their problems, but that wasn’t my fault, now, was it?”

Violet looked away. Her week was already bad enough without this absolute piece of shit so close to her. She looked at him and wanted to grab a meat cleaver and chop off his fingers one by one.

It’d feel nice to do so. That is, since he liked cutting kid’s fingers so much.

Alex was still scared of him. It was understandable. Asha insisted that he was just doing what he had to do. “It wasn’t personal” she had said to him a pitiful smile. “Come on, he’s a good guy. You’ll forgive him someday”

But Violet wasn’t going to forgive shit. She tried to go understand Asha and Minnie, but she wasn’t going to waste her time on understanding a man who maimed kids for fun.

“I’m right, aren’t I, son?” He elbowed the boy next to him in the ribs. His name was Jack or something like that, and he was just seventeen. She guessed he probably lived in the main building with his dad.

The boy nodded enthusiastically.

“Damn right” He agreed. “It’s not our problem that they don’t want to make an effort”

He was tall, but not as buff as his dad. Violet could easily punch him and drag him across the dirt and bury him alive six feet under with a rabid dog next to him. It shouldn’t be that hard.

“What do you think, missy?” Tom asked Minnie. Violet was suddenly very aware of how close she was to Minnie, sitting next to her. Which meant Tom’s attention was inches away from Violet herself, and if he dared to talk to her she’d push him off the cart and feed him to walkers piece by piece.

Thank god, Minnie just shrugged.

“As long as everyone stays safe” She said with hesitance. “There’s no need to start trouble and get yourself killed”

Violet didn’t look at Minnie. She didn’t care. Nothing meant anything.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about!” Tom let out a gruff laugh. “If you get in trouble, that’s no one’s fault but yours, girl. Why blame other people when things don’t go your way?”

God, she wanted to shoot arrows to his knees and take out his guts with a fork and feed them to him. She wanted to put him under the cart and let the wheels crack his neck. She wanted to cut out his limbs one by one until there was no Tom left, and then bury them next to the rabid dog that ate his son.

“Hey!” Dorian grumbled. “Keep quiet. You’re going to attract walkers”

“Oh, leave me alone, woman! I can handle all the walkers in the world at once, if they’re not scared of me!”

Now, that was something Violet would like to see. Tom covered in his own tears and snot and piss, crying cowardly in the moment a grandma walker got too close. Exposed like the pathetic pig he was.

She turned her head and met Clementine’s eyes for a moment. She was glaring at Tom with as much disgust as Violet. She quickly looked away.

They’d been traveling down the road for a few hours, and the sun was starting to rise. The snow and the fallen branches crunched under the wheels of the cart, and the tired horses panted and neighed in protest.

Around them, only forest. The cars advanced slow enough to keep the pace with the carts. The purring of engines filled the air.

They went past the port. The wall was made of ship containers stacked on top of each other and hid most of the inside. Tom yelled something at a man who was chopping firewood outside, and the man yelled back something just as rude. They both broke in laughter.

The port was pretty small, with a narrow dock and at least a dozen of ships of various sizes resting along it. It used to be a nautical club, so it had several buildings meant for storing and fixing small ships and kayaks and a long main house, with tables and a kitchen. People had made houses out of ship containers. Only three families lived there, but people from the headquarters went to work there from time to time. Alex loved it there.

It was so tiny next to the Ohio River.

They quickly left the port behind, just as a small ship was parting.

Violet hadn’t talked ever since they left the Delta. She didn’t feel like talking to Minnie, and she didn’t give a fuck about anyone else in the cart, so she limited to observe the river and the forest.

Her stomach dropped when they reached the bridge.

She closed her eye. She could feel Minnie’s deep breathing next to her.

“Hey, I remember this place!” Tom said cheerfully. He patted Minnie’s shoulder. “This is where I found you after you killed your sister!”

Violet screamed in her head. It was like a glass bottle shattering inside her chest. Like being burned alive.

_Her smile. Then, eyes full of fear._

Please don’t talk about that. Please, please, please—

Minnie gave a rigid nod.

“I remember”

The wood creaked under the wheels.

Violet felt like throwing up.

She didn’t dare to open her eye. Because she was sure that if she opened it, she’d see the bridge covered in blood. The river red with Her blood.

“It feels like forever” He continued. “You’ve grown so much!”

A rotten plank of wood cracked and fell on the river with a splash. She flinched.

_Her body. Dropping lifelessly on the river with a heavy splash. Her blood staining the water dark dark red._

“I hope you know you’re making the Delta proud” He said. “Whatever happened in the past, it’s all forgiven. Isn’t that right, Dorian?”

“I’m trying to drive. Now, be quiet” She commanded. Tom didn’t give her much importance.

_“Proud”_

Violet’s tongue mimicked that word with her mouth closed. She didn’t make a sound.

_Proud._

_“You just want to ruin everything, don’t you?”_

“Anyways, you’re part of this family now, Minerva” He said. “Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. But look at you now!”

And Violet felt like everyone’s eyes were on her. She kept her eyes closed and her head low. She couldn’t move even if she wanted to.

“How could you say that?” Clementine asked.

Violet’s heart gave a leap in her chest. They were going to kill her.

“Excuse me?” Tom mocked. “Who do you think you are?”

“This is none of your business” Minerva snapped.                                                 

Clementine didn’t say anything else after that.

An eye or a finger, who cared? Who cared about the past when it made your life a living hell today, uh? Who cared about the past when it haunted her every time she closed the eye she had left? Every time she saw a fucking bridge?

_She had looked at her one last time before falling. She didn’t catch the expression on her face, because she had already crossed half the bridge and Violet hadn’t even put a feet on the wood yet. She was paralyzed. She watched. She watched as she died. As she bled and fell to the water. She had looked at her. Their eyes had met and…_

_And then she was gone. Lost Forever. Her dear and brave friend. She watched her die and did nothing._

But oh, no, the past was the fucking past and all that was left to do was to forgive and forget and move on.

But Minnie was next to her. And she _loved_ Minnie. She _loved her more than anyone else in the world._

And… she forgave _Minnie_. She _always forgave_ Minnie. Because she loved her and because she did it for her… _their_ home.

Minnie was her everything and… and so was the Delta. And the people living there. It was a good home. People were happy there. _Minnie_ was _happy_ there. And the three of them could have lived happily in their new home if it wasn’t for…

She rested her head on Minnie’s shoulder and buried her face in her jacket.

_Her fault her fault her faultherfaultherfault…_

_Minnie and Her, in the middle of the bridge. Violet hadn’t even started to cross it yet. She couldn’t move her feet._

After a while, Minnie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

_She was dead. She had killed her._

The cart gave a little jump when it left the bridge and followed down a dirt road. The caravan continued its course.

Deep breaths.

She bit down her lip. She opened her eye.

The brightness caught her off guard for a moment. She raised her head from Minnie’s shoulder and looked around.

They had left the bridge behind and the forest was already hiding it from sight.

Deep breaths. It was okay.

This really shouldn’t affect her so much. She was gone. It had been years ago. It was _so fucking stupid_ to get so worked up about _this_. She should be over it already. Like Minnie.

God, Minnie. Perfect Minnie. She did everything right. She was smart and beautiful and a good fighter and people liked her. Why did she even love her? Why would she want to waste her time with Violet? She was too good for her.

They stopped hours later, to let the horses rest and have some food. All the horse pulled carts stopped, while the trucks and cars continued driving. They were going to catch up with them later. Tom’s son went to get water from the river while Clementine and Gabriel helped Dorian with the horses. They had brought some food with them, but Violet guessed she’d go have a look and see if there was any rabbit around.

“Hey, yo” Dorian warned her before she left. “Don’t do anything stupid”

Violet nodded mindlessly.

Besides, she needed some time for herself.

So she grabbed her loyal compound bow and walked into the forest.

The trees were naked and skeletal, having lost their leave weeks ago. A layer of snow that reached her ankles covered the ground, and the murmur of the river had become he only sound she heard once the talking back at the cart didn’t reach her ears.

It was nice to be alone. The Delta barracks weren’t the pinnacle of privacy, exactly, with all the kids yelling and running around and the guard watching them at all times. She missed having a room for herself, and a nice bed, and not being woken up at six in the morning and thrown into a mission she didn’t want to be part of.

Life was just easier back then. When everyone was alive and her worst fear were walkers. Back when she was met with a new piano solo every week and she could talk for hours about dumb fighting moves or playing card games. It was easier.

Her heart broke whenever she thought about that. So it was better not to think.

Sometimes, she just needed to escape. Escape from the walls, escape from the noise, from the fear, the eyes. Sometimes it just meant not talking to anyone for half a day, because nodding and agreeing became exhausting and stressful. Always being reminded to keep her guard up and that every tiny mistake could get her killed.

Yeah escape, but only for five minutes, and then she’d go back, because she couldn’t leave Minnie and Alex and Asha. The Delta was her home, after all. You can’t escape home. Home is where you belong.

She had nowhere else to go, after all. If _they_ saw her again, they’d kill her on sight.

_But she had never wanted to escape from Her. She felt comfortable with her friend. Even if they didn’t talk. She was someone she could trust. She didn’t make her scared._

Her footprints marked the way back. She’d be fine.

And talking about footprints, she spotted a series of small marks in the snow, running among the trees.

She smirked and gripped her bow. Jackpot.

_God, she was so bad at fighting. So bad. She never stood a chance. If only someone had helped her…_

She followed the tracks as silently as possible, with her bow in one hand and an arrow in the other, ready to tense and loose.

_But no one helped her. No one defended her. Violet hadn’t defended her, when she could have._

She surrounded tree and there it was. A little brown creature with big ears. She put her arrow in the bow, tensed and…

_Now she was dead._

Footsteps. Behind her.

She jerked her head and turned around. The arrow pointed at a chest.

“Woah! It’s just me!” Clementine said, stepping away from the arrow.

Shit.

Violet turned just to see the rabbit hopping way.

“Fuck” She muttered. She aimed at it again, hoping she could hit it from the distance.

A creature descended from the sky and snatched it away with a shriek. The bird took the animal on top of a tree.

“Fuck! She exclaimed.

“I’m sorry” Clementine said. “I didn’t mean to startle you”

“Well, then don’t fucking sneak on me” Violet spat. She spotted the bird on a branch. Maybe she could hit it, and then both the bird and the rabbit would drop to the ground.

She charged the arrow one last time and pointed it at the bird.

It was a hawk, she realized. She moved a bit to get a better aim.

It was a mom hawk, and she was feeding her baby hawks in her nest. Now that she paid attention, Violet could hear their tiny hawk cries, asking their mom for food. She had just wanted to feed her baby hawks in her house.

Violet sighed and lowered the bow. They had food in the cart, anyways.

“They sent me to check on you” Clementine said. “We’re about to leave”

Huh. Time had passed faster than she thought.

She shrugged.

“Whatever. Let’s go”

They followed their footprints back to the cart. At some point, it had started snowing.

_Because She was dead and gone forever. She’d been dead for three long years, when she could still be alive. If only Violet had done fucking something, if only she hadn’t been such a fucking coward…_

She spotted Minnie, already getting on the cart. For a moment, she saw Her in her face. They had the same face, after all.

_She had killed her. She had killed her with her own two hands. Violet had killed her. She had watched her bloody body drop on the river and be dragged way by the merciless water. She was a murderer. She had killed her friend._

A bitter feeling settled in her stomach.

_She wondered why Minnie even loved her. Why anyone could stand to look at her face. How could someone not be disgusted by the sight of her?_

After a moment, Clementine asked:

“Are you okay?”

Violet raised her head. Clementine’s voice snapped her back to reality in an instant.

“Uh, yeah. Sure” She said.

She didn’t want to talk about it.

After that, the ride was silent.

She still sat down next to Minnie, who didn’t talk to her. Not that Violet made any effort to talk to her either. Clementine and Gabriel exchanged a few words in low voice, but they too fell silent after an hour or two. Thank god, not even Tom or Jack talked.

Night fell quickly in winter. Violet wasn’t looking at the landscape anymore. Instead, she stared at her feet and tried not to think.

Minnie, next to her, loaded a gun, sharpened a knife, cleaned her crossbow.

God, the crossbow.

Violet shook her head, as if she could shake away the memories, the pain, the guilt.

Gabriel grew more and more nervous the darker it got. Clementine said something to him along the lines of “everything is going to be alright”. Dorian handed Minnie a flashlight to light their path. Violet wondered if horses had a good night vision.

Snow fell irregularly, stopping and starting again every half an hour or so. Not that Violet was paying much attention, but the wheels of the cart left tracks deeper than before, and the horses were having a harder time carrying it. They would occasionally pass by a walker lying on the ground, half buried by the snow. It would raise its head and stare at them, and it would try to reach out to them with what was let of its arms and fail miserably when they barely even moved. Their nauseous smell was far weaker in winter. Violet was glad. She liked to imagine they were Tom. That’d be a satisfying image.

They didn’t stop until they reached Carson.

Carson was a small town, part of the Delta. It served as a small outpost, although it wasn’t very used since it was so close to the headquarters. The New Frontier had taken advantage of the lack of security and soon the soldiers in the outpost were either kicked out or killed, the place now occupied by bandits and thieves.

The cars and trucks were already parked outside of town, by the old abandoned buildings. All the carts soon took their place next to them.

“We’ll send a scouting party to check the conditions” a high rank soldier announced. “Everyone, be ready. I don’t want any more incidents today”

They were staying there for some time, so everyone reached for their respective backpacks and sleeping bags. They had different tents for women and for men. Violet wondered if the two lovebirds, Clementine and Gabriel, would be too devastated by the prospect of not being attached to the hip for an entire night.

Every day she was more thankful she didn’t like boys.

Dorian sent her to get some food from the cart, since she hadn’t managed to hunt anything. She opened one of the salt bags they had stored there and fished… a big piece of meat (a leg of pork?) out of it. She brushed off the remaining salt as well as she could before taking it to the fireplace Gabriel was working on.

“Think you can cook that?” She asked him.

“I’ll try!” he replied, almost cheerfully”

“Good” She dropped the piece of meat on the snow. “Hope it’s enough for everyone”

Gabriel replied something to that, but Violet was already turning around and walking towards Minnie and Clementine, who were working on the tent. The idea of sharing a tent with fucking Dorian and Clementine made Violet wish she were dead, but at least she could sleep next to Minnie.

It had been a long time since she shared a bed with Minnie. Years, even. Before the incident with her eye, when she was sent back to the barracks. But in the months she enjoyed living with her in the main building, she only ever allowed her into her bed when one of them had nightmares and needed the comfort. Violet felt like she needed the comfort every night, but she didn’t want to make Minnie uncomfortable. She probably would have insisted if she had known she’d go back to the barracks so quickly.

It was crazy how they could so easily take away comfort and luxuries. Behave exceptionally well? You can sleep in the same building as the Grown Ups and have a bed and a bedroom of your own. You made a mistake? You’re back to sleeping in the floor of a storage building, and we’ll also take your eye, in case you ever forget why you’re sleeping in the ground and not in a bed.

An eye, a finger. She found herself staring at Tom, who was working on his own tent. She wondered if it’d take too long to smother someone with a pillow. Would they make too much noise, or would the pillow muffle his cries for help? Should she keep smothering even after he passed out? And how long would that be? How would she be able to tell when he was already dead? Because she didn’t want to wait for an indefinite amount of time until he turned into a walker and ate her.

Was it even worth it to waste her time fantasizing about killing him when she damn well knew she wouldn’t even dare to consider doing it for real?

She hated Tom. God, she hated him so much. But she didn’t want him dead. She didn’t want to have that sort of power.

She thought about this as they ate. As useless as Gabriel was, he wasn’t that bad of a cook. They made several fires, straight up in the middle of the road or past the edge of the forest, among the trees.  Most people took a moment to sit by the fire, while a few others walked the length of their camp and circled it to make sure no one was approaching them. It was Minnie and Jack’s turn, so everyone else could enjoy the food for another half an hour, before their shifts changed.

“This is incredible” Clementine told Gabriel, leaving her plate on the ground. She had devoured her meal in less five minutes.

“Thanks” Gabe replied. “I’m doing what I can, I guess. It’s hard to cook in these conditions”

Right. Gabriel worked a shift at the kitchen, back at the Delta. Of course he’d complain about his current cooking conditions.

And now he was fishing for compliments (and poor Clementine fell for his trap. Violet almost pitied her), and Violet wasn’t about to give them to him, so she was about to stand up and leave when one of the other adult soldiers, a woman, started talking.

“Do you know how many raiders are there?” she asked.

The younger boy that had came along with them shrugged.

“Twenty? Thirty? I didn’t stop to count”

“Of course” someone scoffed.

“But I don’t think they have a lot of guns. They do have a lot of cars, though. It’s going to be easier to kick them out than to kill them”

“Well, can’t take any chances” Tom said. “Better get rid of the problem”

“I think we should just kick them out” Gabriel intervened. “We should avoid a shooting”

“Gabe’s right” Clementine agreed. “We can’t put ourselves in risk like that”

“We’re more at risk letting them roam free!” Tom argued. “I say, no tolerance! They can’t take out outposts and then expect to retaliations. We have more than enough people to take them down!”

Minnie and Jack arrived in that moment.

“There’s not much” Jack said. “Just a few walkers”

Clementine stood up.

“You know what? I think I’ll go patrol the area” was her excuse not to spend more time around Tom.

“Me too” Gabriel added. They both walked into the edge of the forest.

 “Fine! Whatever. You two go fuck in the woods. I don’t care” Tom said. “Just don’t come crying when you get sick!”

He laughed as if he had just told the most fucking hilarious joke of the century, when all it really did was to make Violet want to stab him with her fork. He just couldn’t be less insensitive, could he? But every time she thought he couldn’t get worse, he proved her wrong and broke his own record.

It wasn’t as much the joke itself as it was the fact that he existed in the first place.

Violet decided she was done with assholes for the day, so she stood up and went back inside her tent with the excuse of getting her sleeping bag ready. It wasn’t on the street, but among the trees, away from the noise. Her shift would start in an hour or so, and she wanted a moment of peace. She just needed a little bit of privacy. A little bit of silence. Being alone inside a tent was the closest she could get to having her own room and she wanted to savor the feeling.

She took in a deep breath. It was dark inside, but she didn’t turn on her flashlight. It was cozy when it was dark.

Okay. It could have been a worse day. It’s not like anyone got hurt or anything. She could even manage to pretend Tom didn’t exist for most of the trip. She was okay. Minnie was okay. That was all that mattered.

She turned on her flashlight and got her sleeping bag out of its bag, and extended it on the edge of the tent. She’d get Minnie to put her sleeping bag next to hers, so she shouldn’t have to be close to Dorian and Minnie would be the only one with her. It had been a long and exhausting day and she needed her girlfriend’s arms around her waist while she slept. Maybe she could turn around and press her back to Minnie’s chest to feel her steady heartbeat. She had never slept like that with anyone before. She betted it must be warm and comfy. But she wouldn’t oppose to Minnie being little spoon, if so she wished. Anything for Minnie.

Once she was done, she placed her backpack at the head of the sleeping bag so it would act as a pillow. The tent was big enough for five people, and only four would sleep there, considering there were five women and there would always be one on watch. So there was a space big enough to leave her compound bow. She didn’t want to leave it in the cart, in case she needed it or someone tried to steal it, and not in a million years was she going to leave it at hand’s reach of Tom. She’d cuddle her bow if she had to.

The tent entrance fluttered open. Violet tensed up, but she relaxed once she saw who it was.

“Hey” Minnie muttered.

“Hey” Violet replied. She stared at her girlfriend for a moment (how could someone be so beautiful?) before burying her face in her shoulder. She felt Minnie’s hand rubbing her back. “I fucking hate Tom”

“Come on, he’s not that bad once you get to know him”

Violet snorted.

“Why would anyone _want_ to get to know him? God, he’s such an ass. Did you hear what he said about—?”

She stopped right there. She knew what Minnie thought. She couldn’t talk to her like this.

“What he said about what, Vi?” Minnie insisted.

Violet put a distance between Minnie and her. She didn’t want to make Minnie upset. She didn’t want to have problems with her.

“Just…” She fiddled with her hands. “What he said about… Sophie”

She said her name with a string of voice, almost inaudible. She didn’t dare to look at Minnie’s face, and although she didn’t see her, she could tell her demeanor had changed completely.

“He didn’t talk about Sophie” She said sternly, like a mother scolding a child.

“No, he didn’t talk about Sophie” Violet agreed. “He talked about you”

 _‘Proud’_ Violet rolled the word in her tongue, in her closed mouth.

Minnie stared at her for a long moment, urging her to continue when all Violet wanted to do was retreat. She suddenly didn’t want to talk about this anymore. She didn’t want to talk about Sophie. She just wanted to cuddle her girlfriend and go to sleep.

“Come on, Minnie” She tried. She leaned in to place a kiss on her lips, but then she was forcefully pushed away. Minnie’s hands held her away.

Minnie’s expression was full of fear. Violet felt her stomach drop.

“I’m scared, Vi” She said. “You… you know what can happen. I don’t want you to get hurt” She took her hands. “I… Violet, please”

“Please what?” Violet asked. Seeing Minnie in this state was scary.

Minnie took in a deep breath.

“You can’t think about it like…” She swallowed. “You know what I mean. You know why I did it” She squeezed her hands. “Why we both did it”

“Minnie” Violet whispered. “Sophie was your sister”

“I know!” Minnie sniffled. She rubbed her eyes, though Violet didn’t see any tears. “Fuck, I know. But… she was messing with our heads, Vi. She was putting us all in danger”

Violet shook her head. Something wasn’t right.

“Tom said they were proud of you” She snapped. “You’re a fucking pride to the Delta because you killed your sister”

Minnie immediately let go of her hands.

“Don’t you dare, Violet” She said with quivering voice, and Violet immediately knew she had made a mistake. “You don’t know anything. You just watched. If you’d done something…”

“If I’d some something—!” She interrupted her. “She’d still be alive”

There was a long second of silence.

And then Minnie grabbed her head with both hands and the contact sent shots of panic up Violet’s spine straight to overload her brain.  She struggled but Minnie’s left hand, the one she couldn’t see, held the back of her neck and kept her in her place.

She could practically see the red hot metal against her face, close to her eye. She could feel its heat.

_Too much. Too close._

“Let me go!” She cried. “Minnie! Let me go!”

“I need you to listen to me” Minnie commanded. “Violet, listen to me”

Violet jerked her head but Minnie kept a death grip on both sides of her skull so brutally she could crush it, or she would snap her neck. She could do anything she wanted to do to her like that. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t get away.

“This is our home, Violet” Minnie said. “Do you understand that? Does that fit in this head of yours?” She tapped her temple. “You don’t know what it’s like. You’re being reckless and stupid and you’re going to get people killed—”

Minnie sobbed. Violet hadn’t realized she was crying.

“I can’t lose you” She said. “Violet, you need to understand”

“What I don’t understand” Violet got out. “Is why you’re friends with a man who cuts out children’s fingers for fun”

Minnie’s grip on her head tightened. It hurt. _Minnie, it hurts._

“Why did you sell Alex out?” Violet insisted. “He didn’t deserve that and you know it”

“I did the right thing”

“How could you say that?!” Violet finally jerked her head away from Minnie’s grasp and smacked her hands away. “In what world was that the right thing to do? He lost a finger because he wanted to sleep in his own bed. What the fuck were you thinking?!”

“This is the only way!” Minnie gripped her shoulders, and Violet couldn’t do anything about it. “Follow the rules and stay in line. Otherwise—”

“Otherwise what, Minnie?” Violet spat. “Was it too hard to turn a blind eye?”

Minnie didn’t answer that, but Violet knew the answer very well.

It was because she was a coward. Because she was scared of what Lilly would do to _her_ if she didn’t report what she saw. Because she would rather mutilate a child than lose some privileges.

She lowered her gaze and looked at something else.

_To turn a blind eye._

“You knew the kinds of things they do to people” Violet said. “Minnie… you know…”

Minnie’s head jerked up to look at her.

“Know what, Violet?” She spat, getting closer. “That it could have been worse? You got lucky. You could be all blind if I hadn’t—”

“I know you want to protect the Delta” She continued. She backed away from Minnie. “Shit, I want that too. Do you think I want there everyone to die?” She shook her head. “But these fucking rules are causing more harm than good. Can’t you see that?” She hesitantly took Minnie’s hands again, as if being careful of not waking up a beast. Minnie wasn’t looking at her. “Minnie, look at me”

Minnie’s eyes found hers, and she knew she was staring at the eye patch. It was so pathetically extravagant, Violet wanted nothing but to give it back. But it made Minnie happy, and all she really wanted was to make Minnie happy.

Maybe Minnie wanted her to be happy, too. Maybe she’d hug her and apologize and promise she’d find a way to make things better from the inside. Maybe she’d be the one to bring her food for her and for Alex, and she wouldn’t have to beg Asha or skip breakfast. Maybe she could put an end to the conversation and they’d go to sleep together and nothing bad would happen.

But then Minnie ripped her hands away from Violet’s and said:

“You made a choice” her words echoed in the tent and hurt Violet’s ears. “You knew damn well what would happen. Don’t you dare blame me for it”

“I—Minnie, I’m not blaming you!” Violet said. “Even if it was you who… It doesn’t matter! You’re missing the point!”

Instead of coming closer to Violet and cornering her against the wall of the tent, Minnie stepped away and opened the zip of the door.

“I’m done talking about this” She said.

“Minnie… please”

Minnie didn’t close the zip.

“It’s your turn to do the look out” She said from the other side.

So Violet reached for her bow with shaking hands and crawled out of the tent when all she wanted to do was to curl inside her sleeping bag and have a good cry.  But circumstances forced her to stay in plain sight for an hour, in the forest surrounded by people she hated.

She sighed. She didn’t have a choice. She never had a choice in anything.

A hand wrapped around her wrist and forced her to turn around. She tried to jerk it away, but then she was met with Minnie’s eyes, hard and icy. Her body went still, like a rabbit playing dead.

“You don’t get to do this” Minnie growled. “You don’t get to put what happened to Sophie on me” She tightened her grip around her wrist. Violet’s hand throbbed with numbness. She pulled her closer. “You don’t get to blame _me_. You know damn well you’re _just_ as guilty as I am” Minnie’s expression twisted with disgust and rage. “You weren’t even there. You did nothing to stop either of us. We could all be at home now” She forcefully released her wrist and sent her off balance. “But we’re here now. You lost an eye and your friend lost a finger. And whose fault is it?”

Violet’s mouth tasted like copper. She’d been biting her tongue. She didn’t dare to look at Minnie in the eye.

“Was that my fault? Do you think I enjoy it when—?!”

“It’s not your fault!” Violet cried. No, she didn’t want Minnie to blame herself. It wasn’t fair. “Minnie, please! Don’t say that!  It’s not your fault”

“Then whose fault is it?” She insisted.

“Mine! It was my—!” Violet’s voice cracked. “It was my fault!”

She furiously rubbed her eye. It must be a disgusting sight: tears running down only one eye because the other had been burned years ago. She didn’t see Minnie’s expression, but by the way she stepped away from her, she deduced she must be looking at her with pity and contempt.

However, she wrapped her arms around her shaking frame and pulled her into a hug. Violet hid her face in her jacket, trying to hide from the world.

“I’m sorry” Violet whimpered. Minnie’s hand held her head in its place and threaded through her hair.

“When will you learn, Vi?” She asked her. “Are you even trying? Because… you always fuck _everything_ up”

Her words felt like a stab through the heart. Violet bit her lip and tried not to sob.

“Do you want to leave? Is that it?” Minnie asked. Violet couldn’t bring herself to reply, so she continued: “Because after what we’ve done… after what _you’ve done_ , do you think anyone would take us in?” She let out a wet chuckle. “Do you really think anyone out there would want you?”

Violet sobbed and shook her head. No one wanted murderers. No one wanted people who killed the ones they loved.

“You get people hurt” Minnie continued. She tightened her arms around her. “You get people we love killed and…” Her voice cracked. “And I don’t want to lose you!” She grabbed her shoulders and took a step back. Violet looked at the snow between her feet to avoid Minnie’s gaze. “You need to stop this. Be smart for once in your life and stop acting like this” She squeezed her shoulders. “Okay?”

Violet gave a shaky nod, and only allowed herself to breathe when Minnie let go of her shoulders.

“Good” Minnie said. “Now… I’ll help Dorian with something. You go keep watch and we’ll go to bed in an hour, okay?”

Violet nodded again.

_“You’re just as guilty as I am”_

_“You killed her”_

She stood at the edge of the camp, in the snow, flashlight and bow in hand. The snow now reached halfway to her knee, and she really wished she had some kind of waterproof pants, because her legs were getting cold real quick.

She turned on the flashlight. She could see her own breathing in the cold air. She wondered what was the point of having a flashlight, since it would only give away the position if a New Frontier bandit was close, and most walkers were noisy enough to be detected without light.

So she turned off her flashlight, but kept it in her pocket, because she might need it later.

Snow fell faster more angry than before, to the point it was impossible to see anything past the twenty feet.

Her heart felt heavy. The tears had already dried, but she her eye must still be red and puffy. She didn’t have time to cry. She needed to keep watch, although she didn’t think she’d notice a New Frontier soldier walking right past her in that moment.

She could still feel Minnie’s hands on her head. On the back of her neck. Her fingerprints were engraved on her skin with fire and they left marks that could not be erased no matter how much time she spent in the shower trying to wash them away. She had held her like that that night. The night she had spent at the School. She hadn’t had Alex’s courage to break out when no one was watching and go back to the barracks, although she did live in the main building until then. That had changed after what happened.

Minnie’s hands on her head shouldn’t make her recall the worst day of her life. Her girlfriend’s touch shouldn’t give her panic attacks on the worst days. Was she doing something wrong?

Minnie had been right on something.

That was solely her fault.

No one had forced her to do anything. No one had made her commit treason. She had chosen to do so. It was a mistake she had to pay the price for, and the price was her left eye. That was all. She knew the risk, she knew the rules, and yet, when she saw the girl with the baby… She couldn’t pull the trigger. She couldn’t pull.

Sophie, her eye, Alex’s finger…

She could have taken Alex back to the School without anyone noticing, and he’d still have all his fingers. She could have taken the girl with the boy, and she’d still had both her eyes. She could have stopped Minnie… she could have talked Sophie out of leaving… She knew Sophie wouldn’t have left them behind. She’d stay with them until they decided to go with her, and eventually, she’d learn, and she’d get used to her new home, and the three of them would have a happy life.

But maybe she should have. Maybe Sophie should have left Violet behind. Maybe she deserved to be left behind. Everyone seemed to think she wasn’t worth it. Her first family, the teachers, her friends…

They never came back. The boy had taken them out to hunt and then he let them be taken.

Sophie always said they’d come back for them. Yet they never did.

She deserved it. She was bad, after all. A murderer and a traitor. Who would want her? Of course everyone left. That was what happened to people like them. The ones she loved always left.

Except for Minnie. Minnie never abandoned her. Minnie stayed with her no matter what. Minnie was the only one who loved her, even though she didn’t deserve it. God, she didn’t deserve her. Minnie was brave, and smart, and sweet. She had found a beautiful eye patch for Violet when Violet herself had never bothered to think about her appearance, because at least someone cared about it. And Violet had done nothing but to despise it. To ignore Minnie’s effort to find something nice for her, and all she could think about was how much she hated it.

She was so ungrateful, treating Minnie like that after everything she did for her. How dare she? How dare she blame her for what happened to Sophie? She wasn’t even that close when it happened. She didn’t see anything. What if Sophie had attacked Minnie, and Minnie just acted in self defense? What if Minnie had just tried to stop her to bring her back home and Sophie had somehow cut herself and fell of the bridge? She was clumsy and a terrible fighter. It would make perfect sense. Maybe Minnie had actually tried to save her. Maybe Violet was the only one to blame, because she hadn’t done anything to avoid it.

She was a murderer. A murderer who killed the people she loved.

She sobbed, and immediately covered her mouth to muffle all sound. The other person on watch was Clementine, and she was at the other side of the camp, deeper into the forest, not looking in her direction and probably too far to hear her.

She wiped away the tears, because it made it hard to see and she needed to stay alert.  She turned on her flashlight and tried to find something, anything. A walker stuck in the snow that needed to be killed, a rabid animal wanting to fight, an enemy soldier trying to kill her. Maybe she’d let them. She’d be doing Minnie a favor.

She sobbed again.

What had she done?

“Violet?”

It was her fault. She had killed Sophie.

“What’s wrong?”

Maybe she should go with her. Do Minnie and the Delta a favor. Everyone would be so much happier without her.

“Hey”

A hand touched her shoulder. She flinched and turned around.

It was Clementine. She was looking at her with an expression of pure concern.

“Sorry I snuck up on you” She said. “But… wait, are you crying?”

Violet wiped her tears away. It was a gross image, the one of someone crying through only one eye. She suddenly wanted to hide.

“Oh my god” Clementine whispered. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine” Violet said through gritted teeth. “I’m not bit, if that’s what you mean”

“That’s good to hear” Clementine replied. She still looked concerned, though. She took a hesitant step towards her. “I know it’s none of my business”

“It really isn’t”

“But… Is everything okay with Minerva?”

Violet was surprised she knew Minnie’s full name. She was more surprised that someone could be so nosy.

“You said it yourself” Violet retorted. “None of your business”

That didn’t seem to be enough for Clementine to go do her fucking job and leave Violet alone, because Clementine stayed there, and Violet didn’t have the energy to tell her to fuck off.

“I heard some things she said” Clementine continued. “I wasn’t spying on you. You guys are just… pretty loud”

Violet shrugged. She turned off her flashlight. No need to attract walkers.

“The way she grabbed you…” she whispered. “Are you okay?”

“She’s not usually like this” Violet protested. She felt the need to defend Minnie. That’s what girlfriends did, right? “She’s just… scared. We’re all scared. Don’t blame her for acting the way she does”

Clementine crossed her arms.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that” She said.

Violet looked at her in the eye.

“Hey, do you remember when you said it was none of your business?” She reminded her. “Yeah, I’d listen to your own advice”

Clementine only stayed silent for a few seconds before talking again.

“Look, whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault”

“Bullshit” Violet replied. She was starting to get on her nerves. “What do you know, anyways? It’s not like you were there or anything”

That seemed to effectively shut her up. Violet started walking, circling the camp with the pretense of covering more ground, but really she just wanted to get away from Clementine.

But Clementine fucking followed her, because of course she did. She didn’t talk, though, thank god. Even if she couldn’t enjoy solitude, maybe she’d grant Violet the blessing of silence.

The snow had stopped falling at some point, but Violet was certain it would start again soon. The sheet of snow became thinner the closer it got to where the fireplace was.

The camp was dark and silent, most people already asleep. There was some activity near the abandoned houses and the road, but everything was silent in the forest. It was completely black, so Violet raised her flashlight to take a look. In front of her, nothing but naked trees. The flashlight only lit a stripe of forest, and where the light didn’t reach, it was as if an inky blackness had swallowed the world. As if everything that existed was Violet, the flashlight and where its light reached. Any further than that, reality ceased to exist.

The thought was quite disturbing, so she turned off the flashlight again. It’d only bring attention to the camp, and if the enemy soldiers were moving at night, they’d bring their own light and reveal their position. Joke was on them. Violet and the rest could move in silence and take them out in a second.

“How long have you been with them?” Clementine suddenly asked. Violet turned around and raised an eyebrow to her.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Come on, you know what I mean” She gestured to the tents with her head. “I doubt you’ve been with them since the beginning”

Violet shrugged. She really didn’t want to think about that. She was tired of thinking.

“What gave it away?” She asked.

“Nothing” Clementine replied. “I just got the feeling”

Oh, so she was going to be as annoying as her boyfriend. Violet had won the fucking lottery with her mission buddies, hadn’t she?

“You go first” Violet retorted. “You come here on your own, and you’re instantly best friends with Lilly”

“…Yeah” Clementine crossed her arms. “I knew Lilly when I was little, and I stumbled across her in the woods some weeks ago”

“But she didn’t bring you here” Violet said. “You came on your own”

“She tried to get me to go with her. My brother and I escaped. Then…” She bit her lip. It was clearly a difficult topic for her.

“You don’t have to tell me”

“No, no, it’s okay” Clementine sighed. “My little brother was sick, but… I didn’t want to get involved with groups. So when we found a New Frontier camp, I… I tried to steal some medicine from them. But they saw me, and they took AJ and…”

She closed her mouth. Violet understood.

“I’m sorry” Violet said. She didn’t really know what else to say.

The camp was incredibly silent. Violet stared at the forest ahead of her.

“They killed him” Clementine finished. “He was only six. They weren’t even using the medicine. Their fucking doctor used it to get high, and to make sure I wouldn’t try to steal any, they…”

Violet didn’t have any strong feeling for the New Frontier. She didn’t love them, but she didn’t have the deep, crushing hatred towards them that other people at the Delta did. She just feared them. Fighting them was a simple task she needed to fulfill. But hearing this made her actually angry at them for the first time.

To kill a little kid… To outright deny him medicine… That was simply vile. It was her reminder that no matter what happened in the Delta, she was better off with them that at the hands of those bandits.

“What was his name?” Violet asked.

Clementine sniffled.

“Alvin Junior” She said. “AJ, for short”

“Alvin was your dad?”

“He was _his_ dad” Clementine corrected her. “I think”

“Oh. So you were half siblings”

“We weren’t really related. But I was there when he was born, and I’ve been taking care of him ever since until…”

Violet cranked her neck to look at Clementine this time. She was wiping a tear away. Clementine raised her head and forced a sad, tiny smile.

“What about you?” She asked. “Do you have any family?”

“The Delta is my family” Violet replied, as if reading off a script.

“Are your parents there, or…?”

“I actually don’t know where my parents are” Violet cut her off. “Haven’t seen them in… Shit, nine years? I don’t know”

This time it was Clementine’s turn to say:

“I’m sorry”

Thank god, she didn’t ask anything about them.

“After they… took AJ” Clementine resumed. “I traveled north, because I thought maybe I’d get lucky and find Lilly” She chuckled weakly. “I guess I did”

“So, you’re friends with Lilly”

“I wouldn’t say that, exactly”

“So? Why did you come here?”

Clementine looked conflicted.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think it’d be like this. But I have nowhere else to go now, so…”

Oh. So they were on the same page.

“I can’t believe they hurt children like that” Clementine added.

She was thinking about Alex.

“I can’t believe it, either” Violet agreed. She kicked the snow. “I mean, I guess it’s supposed to keep everyone in line and shit, but…”

“Come on, you can’t justify _that_!”

She spoke too loud. Violet immediately looked at the tents, making sure no one woke up.

“Let me give you some advice” Violet whispered. “Don’t say that kind of things out loud. It will get you in trouble”

Clementine raised an eyebrow, but didn’t protest.

“I didn’t know censorship was so bad in here” She said.

“The only reason why everyone goes so easy on you is because you behave” Violet explained. “Trust me. You don’t want to give them a reason to hurt you”

“Is that what happened to your eye?”

_Minnie’s hand. The red hot metal._

Violet froze. She turned around. Her hand instinctively traveled to her head to make sure her left eye was well covered and the cloth she used wasn’t falling off, but with her new patch, that wasn’t a problem.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked”

Violet shrugged. She took a long look at the forest. She was actually avoiding looking at Clementine.

“It’s nothing” She said. “Just… Never mind. It doesn’t matter”

Clementine took a seat in the cart. All the horses were sleeping while standing up, still tied to the vehicle.

“You didn’t answer my question” Clementine said. “How long have you been here?”

Violet followed her and sat at the other extreme of the cart. She could still see the entirety of the camp from there without getting her feet cold from the snow. She should have thought about it before.

“Three years, I think” She said. Clementine hadn’t asked for more. But she was just about to do so.

“And where were you before? Did you have a group?”

“Kinda, sorta” She replied. “I… I didn’t come here because I wanted to. You know, unlike _some_ people”

Clementine nodded.

“Have you… Have you ever tried to leave?”

Every muscle in Violet’s body froze. Sophie’s face jumped to the front of her mind. Sophie taking her hands as she excitedly told her the plan. Sophie running down the bridge. Sophie looking at her one last time before falling to the river.

“Um…” Violet hummed. “Once, years ago”

God, she had been the last face Sophie had seen before dying. What had she though, back then? Had Sophie thought Violet didn’t care? Had she thought it was all part of a plan Violet and Minnie came up with? Had she thought Violet was looking at her as if observing a mathematical calculation, instead of frozen in terror? Had she felt betrayed?

Clementine nodded. Thank god she didn’t ask for details. Thank god she could tell it was time to stop. Sometimes.

Of course she’d felt betrayed. She had murdered her, after all. She had felt betrayed and so, so scared. She had been the same age as Alex… and Tenn must be her age now, too, right?

She hadn’t thought about Tenn in… a long, long time.

Okay. Deep breaths. No point in thinking about Sophie.

Clementine remained silent. She raised her head and looked at the sky. Violet followed suit, and was delighted to see the stars above her head.

There they were, Orion and his dogs, Taurus, Eridanus, Gemini, Lepus… she’d memorized them by now. The sky offered her a rest and the clouds opened a gate to take a glimpse of the night.

She shook her head. If she spent all night stargazing, Dorian would kill her for being the worst look out in history. She better stay alert. Just in case.

But Clementine didn’t seem to think so. She looked at the sky, while Violet looked at her feet. When Violet glanced at her again, she found her staring at the tents.

“What’s the deal with the New Frontier?” She asked. “I mean, I won’t start committing treason or anything, but I’d like to know what I’m fighting for”

Violet had never seen it that way. She didn’t really question the meaning of the war. She just focused on staying alive.

“I’m not sure” She said. “Lilly and the Council say they raid communities to steal from them, and that they’ve attacked the Delta in the past, but I’ve never seen it until now” She shrugged. “Maybe it just happened before I showed up. I don’t know. You should ask Alex about it”

“How long has he been with the Delta?”

“I don’t know. Five years? Six?” She shrugged again. “His old community was raided by some psychos… they wore walker skin and shit. His family escaped, but most of them didn’t make it far. Um… He arrived with his brother to the Delta, before things went bad. He died some years ago”

Clementine nodded.

“I see” She said. “And now you look after him”

“I guess so. Kind of” Violet replied. “I mean, he had no one else. We kinda became friends with time” 

She decided it was time to ask Clementine a question. She was starting to feel interrogated.

“Okay, my turn” She said. “Where were you before you came here? You said you were from Georgia”

Clementine chuckled.

“Yeah. I’m… I guess I’m pretty far from home” She said. “I’ve traveled a lot since everything started”

“I bet you could be a tourism guide” Violet joked.

“Hey! It can’t be that hard” Clementine smiled, but her expression quickly dropped. “I was eight in the beginning. I met this man named Lee. He took care of me for a while, before he…”

They exchanged a look. She didn’t have to keep talking. Violet understood.

“A year later, I think, I came across this group. That’s when I met AJ’s parents. It… didn’t last long. I think AJ and I were the only ones left” She said. Her eyes were full of sadness.

So, she was the only one who made it out. Violet couldn’t say she understood. She had never been on her own, let alone as a small kid.

God, she couldn’t understand what Clementine had gone through.

“My parents had died at the beginning, AJ’s mom died the day after he was born… so, I guess I wanted him to have a family. Even if it was only us” She sighed. “We were okay for so long… I guess I forgot how quickly…”

She breathed in silence. They observed the limits of the camp and the forest. The cars and carts parked near the beginning of the town. They listened for any noise, any walker moaning or any enemy soldier walking, any engine roaring in the night. But nothing. Only silence, broken only by the heavy breathing of the horses.

Clementine was holding something. A small green notepad.

“What’s that?” Violet asked with little interest.

“Oh, it’s nothing” Clementine replied, hiding it in her pocket. Violet just shrugged.

There was a sound coming from the men’s tent. She realized to her horror that was Tom’s snoring.

“Gross” she muttered. “Such a… piece of shit”

“I can’t believe he said that about Minerva at the bridge” Clementine said. Right. She’d heard everything.

“Me neither” Violet nodded. In low voice, she continued: “He’s… he’s such an asshole! He can’t say that kind of shit”

“He’s fucked up” Clementine agreed. “I really pity Gabe”

Violet chuckled.

“Your boyfriend really got the short stick”

“Oh, come on! He’s not my boyfriend!” Clementine protested. Violet just stared at her.

“Sure” she said.

“We’re just friends”

Violet snorted. Yeah, that’s what everyone said.

She suddenly wondered what the fuck she was doing. Smiling and laughing with the new girl. This wasn’t _fun_. This wasn’t _nice_. There must be something terribly wrong going on.

Why wasn’t she scared of her? She was a monster and a murderer and Clementine shouldn’t be so fucking eager to talk to her. She should run away in the moment she had the chance. She was bad. She always fucked everything up and she would fuck her up as well.

What did she want from her? What did she want to take? What did she know? Nothing. She was no one and she knew nothing. She was a stranger. She didn’t know Violet yet, that’s why she wasn’t disgusted by her. Give her a few days and she’d known she should have never talked to her.

Violet could bite. Violet could get her killed. Violet could ruin everything again, like she always did. And then Clementine would leave, possibly early enough not to hurt. Leave before Violet cared about her leaving. This was the right time. Leave and don’t come back.

“Hey” Clem said. “You go to sleep. I’ll keep watch”

“You sure?” Violet asked. She was leaving. “I think I still got half an hour left”

“I mean it. You look like you could use a rest” Clem gestured at her bow. “Besides, we might need your good shot soon”

Violet looked down at her bow. She doubted she could hit anything in the darkness. But Clem was right. She was exhausted and she just wanted to end her day in Minnie’s arms. She hopped off the cart and gave Clem one last look before slipping inside her tent.

She was disappointed to see Minnie was already sleeping in the bag the furthest to hers, pressed against the opposite side of the tent. She didn’t know why she thought Minnie would want to sleep with her. She quickly changed her pants, so she wouldn’t have to sleep with clothes wet from the snow, and slipped into her sleeping bag.

It was cold. It was incredibly cold, and the ground was even harder and more uncomfortable than the one in the barracks. She could swear there were rocks digging into her back. But here eyelids were heavy, and it had been a long, long day, so still, she quickly fell asleep.

She dreamed with the piano room that night. She was laughing at the jokes the piano man told, and he laughed when she pretended to be annoyed by him. She couldn’t really remember the music once she woke up, but she had an idea of what piece he’d been playing.

Δ

“Alright, everyone!” A man shouted. “There are raiders patrolling the wall with guns and explosives. Scott, how many raiders did you say there were?”

“Between twenty and thirty” The fifteen years old boy replied.

“We have more than enough to take them down, don’t we?” He straightened his back and received a murmur of approval from the crowd listening to him. Violet wasn’t paying that much attention. “We’ll be parting in half an hour. Everyone, pack your stuff and follow me”

It took less time than she expected to get everything ready to leave. They were going on foot, and some people were staying behind to take care of the vehicles.

Violet had found herself to be among these people.

Minnie was going to fight. Violet really didn’t mind staying behind. She was actually glad she wasn’t going to find herself in the middle of the battle. Having only one eye made fighting difficult.

Gabriel and Clementine were there, too, just as Tom and five other soldiers. She sat on the driver’s seat of a cart and waited. They’d come back in an hour or two. She just had to make sure no one stole their horses or their cars.

Easy.

Or so she thought, before a bang echoed in the forest and a soldier fell dead.

The horses shrieked and ran, pulling the carts with them, and Violet had to jump so she wouldn’t be taken away. She rushed behind one of the trucks and gripped her bow tightly.

She loaded an arrow and peaked through the corner of the vehicle. There was someone with a rifle on top of a house. She aimed at them and loosed. The arrow pierced their neck and they dropped to the ground.

In that moment, a woman charged towards her and knocked her to the ground. She brandished her knife and made a deep gash in her shoulder. The woman tried to punch her, but she kicked her away before she got the chance. A final kick to the head knocked her out.

She observed her clothes for a moment. Nothing she wore was part of a military uniform. She checked her neck and, indeed, she was met with the New Frontier brand, a Capricorn burn mark.

Fuck. They’d found them.

Was Minnie okay?

She looked at the town and tried to see if she could distinguish something, anything.

The only thing she saw was a column of black smoke rising into the clouds.

She didn’t see Clementine or Gabriel. They must be either dead or behind cover.

She locked eyes with a soldier hiding behind a tree trunk.

“There’s one inside that house” he pointed at half-made construction feet away. “Cover me!”

Before Violet had the chance to reply, the man ran with his rifle in his hands, and Violet fired an arrow just in time to save his ass, her arrow flying through the window and killing the woman about to attack him.

A car raced towards her and she moved right before it crashed against the one she was hiding behind. The driver opened the door and Violet ran to smash it close around his hand. Someone else shot him in the head.

“You have to be quicker, missy!” Tom sneered. “You’re gonna get yourself killed if you don’t grow some balls”

The sight of a head brown up was nauseating, and Violet had to look away.

She took refuge behind a tree. She heard more people approaching, but when she took a look, she was relieved to see they were some Delta soldiers, showing up to help.

She sighed.

The battle was a mess of limbs, guns and blood. People shot each other in the face and slit each other’s throats. Violet had seen what happened to people who refused to participate in the battle, so she forced herself to load her bow and shot the raider closest to her in the thigh. He screamed in pain, and a Delta woman stabbed him through the throat.

It was too much. Violet didn’t want to see it.

But then a glint of red caught her eye.

Minnie.

She was alive. Thank god.

She wasn’t far. Violet was about to say something to her. She took a step forward.

But then she heard a scream. And violent struggle.

“Let me go!”

Violet turned around. They were somewhere in the woods.

“Oh my god, oh my god. Fuck!”

Her heart stopped.

That was Clementine’s voice.

She glanced at Minnie. She was doing fine. She was tall and strong and no one could beat her at combat. She’d be okay.

Violet gripped her bow and ran towards the noise.

She was practically blind in the darkness, but she didn’t turn on her flashlight. She wouldn’t give away her position. So she ran, stumbling and tripping on roots and rocks and snow. The struggling was close. Clem needed help.

She must be mere feet away.

Violet took her flashlight and switched it on. They’d see her coming anyways.

The light hit the ground, and her stomach dropped when she saw what stained the snow.

Blood. Bright red blood ran like a river towards her feet.

The struggling had ceased. She could hear a heavy breathing ahead of her.

Her heart throbbed against her ribcage so loudly she could hear her own blood running through her ears. The flashlight shook in her hand.

She took a step forward. The closer she got, the more red there was.

Another step. And another. Everything below her was red.

She lifted he flashlight and finally saw the scene.

The first thing she saw were Clementine’s golden eyes, wide open like a deer in the headlights. Next to her, Gabe was on the ground, wounded and bleeding, but still pretty much alive.

Clementine’s hands were red with blood.

And to her feet, lay Tom’s dead body, with a stab wound piercing his neck. He had stopped gargling and choking on his own blood seconds before.

Clementine’s knife glistened red.

Their eyes met, and Violet could have sworn she saw tears in Clementine’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New date idea: kill a man in front of your crush!  
> (yes i hate asha too)  
> Damn I feel bad for Violet. The only non-abusive relationship she has left is her friendship with a 12 years old boy.  
> Chapter 11: "Bring The Clones To Life" will be posted on September 15th.


	13. Bring The Clones To Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for torture and child abuse.

_“_ _Failure is the lake we need to cross together_

_Looking for the fish we need to kill, to feed the pack_

_Treat me like a tool and you’ll find reparation_

_Treat me like a fool and you’ll find confrontation_

_‘Cause we are the ones who bring the clones to life_ _”_

 

-“[Wolves](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETtz8bTL5i0)” by Maldito

 

Δ

Clementine and Gabe first pretended not to know each other.

They didn’t have a chance to talk until archery practice. She didn’t know how to shoot with bow and arrow, so Lilly had instructed her to take classes at the gym, which was now used almost exclusively for training. And Clementine could have sworn she had been blessed by the fairy of good luck, because there she found two of her targets. Violet and Gabriel García.

Once their training session was over and Violet left, Clementine rushed to hug him.

He was definitely taller, but his look hadn’t changed. He still wore that dumb red hat, but she guessed she couldn’t really say anything about wearing dumb old hats.

He hugged her back and she could swear she heard him laughing.

They later sat in floor of the gym bathroom. It was lunch time and everyone was either eating in the dining hall in the main building, or in the barracks.

“I can’t believe you’re here” Gabe said. “I mean, I never thought they could catch you”

“They still haven’t” Clementine smirked. “I came here on my own” She considered explaining the whole plan, but first, she needed to hear Gabe’s story. Just in case. “What about you? Your sister told me what happened”

Gabe’s head perked up.

“You saw Mari?” He asked with incredulity. “Is she okay?”

“She was okay last time I saw her” Clementine replied. “That was about a week ago”

“Oh, thank god” Gabe sighed. “I… um… What did she tell you, exactly?”

“She said you were kidnapped” Clementine recalled her conversation with Mariana. “And that she was going to get you back”

“Oh” Gabe said. “Oh. I see. I… I think I owe you an explanation” He sighed. “I… came here on my own as well” he said. Clementine blinked. “Mari and I have a plan. They don’t know I’m with them. I get information and…”

“And you give it to Mari and the rest” Clementine concluded. In low voice, she added: “So, you’re a spy?”

“I think I am” Gabe chuckled. “It’s just… Javi wouldn’t let us do anything. We couldn’t just sit there while our people were dying, you know? We had to do something”

“So he doesn’t know you’re here”

“No, he does!” Gabe scratched the back of his neck. “He thinks I was kidnapped as well”

Clementine nodded.

“Is it true that he’s the leader now?”

“He is. I mean, there’s still the whole council thing, but he’s kind of… the head of the operation”

Clementine blinked. Javier García as the head of the operation. She guessed desperate times required desperate measures.

“Well, guess what” Clementine said. “I’m sort of a spy, too”

She proceeded to tell him her story, ever since she found Ericson. She told him about AJ, and Sophie, and Louis, and about Marlon and the girls who were taken and the events that led her to where she was now.

Saying it out loud felt liberating, because she was finding someone she could be honest with. Someone she could trust. For a moment, she didn’t have to lie.

But recalling it also made her miss AJ even more.

His absence was palpable. Clementine had grown used to a life with him by her side. She wasn’t meant to be without him. Something wasn’t right when they were apart.

“Wait, you said Violet?” Gabe asked. “Is this the same Violet I’m thinking about?”

“I don’t know” Clementine said. “Is she close to this Minerva girl? Do they know each other?”

“I think they’re dating” Gabe replied. He grimaced. “Minerva is scary as fuck. And she loves this place. I don’t think you could convince her to leave”

“Well, I have to try” Clementine insisted.

“Didn’t you say she tried to kill her own sister?”

Gabe had a sister himself, and so like Clementine, he must understand why the idea of such a crime was so disturbing and inhumane. Killing a sibling must be against all laws of nature. It was something people were just not supposed to do. Her stomach told her it was just as unnatural as incest. The sole idea of hurting her little brother made her nauseous, and Gabe looked like he was thinking the same.

Truth was, Clementine had the same worry. She worried Minerva would be too far gone. If she had no qualms murdering her own sister when she tried to escape, why would she hesitate to kill a literal stranger for attempting to do the same thing?

“I mean, if I were you, I’d try with Violet” Gabe told her. “She’s kind of a troublemaker here. I think. Did you see her eye?”

“I saw her yesterday” She said. She glanced at the door and listened for any noise outside. Nothing. “They chopped off a kid’s finger off last night”

“I saw them take him to the hospital today” Gabe said. “These people… They’re crazy, Clem. And half the soldiers are kids. I don’t know what we’re going to do without hurting kids”

Right. The New Frontier people didn’t want to fight the kids. How do you win a war if you don’t want to harm the enemy soldiers?

“We take them down from the inside” Clementine suggested. “I mean, it’s two of us now, right? And if we get Violet on our side…”

“Unless we convince Minerva, I don’t think there’s much we can do” Gabe said. “She’s with the ones in power”

Clementine nodded. She hoped she could find a way to make things work out, to bring the girls back home and possibly convince Sophie and the rest to get the hell out of West Virginia and away from the war. AJ deserved a peaceful life and goddamn Clementine was going to give it to him.

Δ

The plan was simple.

A couple of months before Gabe and Clementine found each other, a New Frontier party had taken over a Delta outpost called Carson, after an important fallen soldier, apparently. It was inside a small town, and this is where Mariana had been staying while her group wandered West Virginia looking for trouble. She’d been there ever since it was taken. In fact, while the two García siblings had been playing with their plan for some time already, it was the conquest of the outposts the closest to the Delta what allowed them to take it to action. They’d traveled as stowaways with the party meant to capture it and while Mariana stayed behind, Gabe followed the Delta’s carts as their fell back to their headquarters and knocked on their gates.

Now, after the ambush at the train station, they Delta’s council had decided it was too dangerous to have the enemy so close, and so a plan to capture Carson back was formed.

After Gabe told her about it, they’d agreed that they both asked the Council to let them go. It had taken some convincing, but after a while they’d agreed that they needed as many soldiers as they could, and such dedicated and loyal recruits weren’t meant to be wasted planting corn behind walls when there was a war going on.

Gabe had then talked to Clementine, behind the Hospital building. The old broken ambulances without wheels or engines that piled up next to the emergency door served as a perfect hiding spot.

“We need to meet up with Mari” Gabe had said.

They were going to tell Mari what they knew. Clementine knew Lilly. She knew her weaknesses, and that could be key information. They could detail a plan. And hopefully Mari and Derek could organize a way to help Clementine bring Minnie and Violet back home.

Kidnapping worked the first time. Why wouldn’t it work again?

Although Clementine preferred to find an alternate strategy.

Gabe suggested that they wrote down what they wanted Mari to know, since she might not remember all the details.

“We’d be leaving evidence behind” Clementine countered.

“I can write it in Spanish. That way, they won’t know what it’s about” Gabe proposed.

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“You’re saying no one here speaks Spanish?”

“It’s a safety measure! Of course there are risks!” Gabe protested. “But I thought it would reduce our chances of getting caught”

So they skipped dinner the next day to write the letters. Clementine dictated and Gabe wrote on his notepad as quickly as he could. He had a terrible calligraphy, but Clementine trusted Mariana would still understand him. Once they were done, Clementine took a look and asked:

“How do I know it says what I said?”

“Come on! Don’t you trust me?”

“I don’t know. Do I?” She joked. She was feeling weirdly optimistic.

Things were turning out just as planned.

“Yes, you do!” Gabe replied. “Come on. Let’s go get ready”

Gabe hadn’t really seen Mari since he left Carson. They had planned this encounter before he had even left for the Delta. They knew it was something that might happen and he knew damn well they were tapping on the Delta’s frequency from there. They were expecting them. And so Mariana was ready to meet him when they were close. They had agreed to meet at a specific location at a specific time, every time they got the chance: by the river at night. This was not only his way to communicate with his sister, but also his way to prove his fake loyalty to the Delta.

After talking to Clementine, they both decided to ask Lilly one more favor.

“I think Violet should come along” He had told Lilly. “She’s the best archer I know”

And so Clementine found herself in a horse-pulled cart a few days later, glancing occasionally at Violet, who was sitting in front of her. She knew Gabe had asked Lilly to get her to go on this little trip with them to give Clementine a chance to get closer to her. It was already a given than Minerva was going as well, but Clementine didn’t know if that made her plan easier or harder.

Δ

Clementine heard everything.

She heard the way Minerva talked to Violet, and it made her sick.

Weren’t they in love? Weren’t they supposed to take care of each other?

She wasn’t spying on them. She was feeding the horses and checking they were alright, and Minerva and Violet were yelling. Everyone in the camp must be hearing them. Minerva was publicly humiliating her girlfriend without Violet even knowing.

Clementine shook her head. It broke her heart to hear them inside the tent.

“Was that my fault? Do you think I enjoy it when—?!”

“It’s not your fault! Minnie, please! Don’t say that!  It’s not your fault”

When they came out of the tent, and now everyone could not only hear but watch what Minerva did to Violet, Clementine wanted to intervene. She really did. But then Gabe grabbed her arm and advised her not to.

“Then whose fault is it?”

“Mine! It was my—! It was my fault!”

Was this Minerva? Was this Sophie’s sister? She was nothing like Sophie. Sophie was kind, and funny, and sweet and a bit of a dumbass but she was not cruel and definitely not scary.  Was this the person Clementine was risking her life for? Did she really want to put her life in the line for someone like Minerva?

Δ

After their chat, she watched Violet slip inside the tent at night. As soon as the zip was closed, she tapped against the fabric of the men’s tent with the tips of her fingers.

Gabe immediately came out of the tent, already dressed to travel at night.

“Okay. Coast’s clear” Clementine whispered. All the other tents were far enough not to see them of hear them, by the old abandoned houses and the road. The soldiers doing the lookout were too busy planning an attack to notice two kids slipping into the night.

Gabe handed her a gun.

“I got this” He said. “Thought it’d be useful”

“It is” Clementine took the gun and the silencer from his hands. Gabe turned on his flashlight and it casted a cold light in the snow “Let’s go”

Clementine felt a pang of guilt leaving the camp unprotected, though this would only take a moment and any walker that could suppose a danger was already buried under the snow, and even if one of them were still walking, it’d pay more attention to the horses, and their shrieks would wake everyone up. There were other guards as well who would surely notice anything that happened in their absence. Worst case scenario, that woman, Dorian, would realize they were gone and they’d have to lie and say they saw something and went after it. Hopefully they’d get to keep all the fingers they had left.

They slowly walked away from the tents with some difficulty due to the snow. Their feet left clear traces on it, detailing the path they were taking. Gabe insisted that it was clearly going to snow again and it would cover their footprints, because ‘those were snow clouds’. When Clementine raised her head, she just saw darkness with patches of starry sky, and that was supposed to mean the clouds were staring to dissipate.

They weren’t planning on the chaos that would take place in the camp only a few hours later that would make everyone forget about what was left of their footprints after soldiers and horses walked all over them, so for the moment, they allowed themselves to worry about such minor matters.

They only used one flashlight to light their path. They were walking towards the river. They couldn’t see it, but they had a feeling of in which direction it was, and in the silence of winter, its soft murmur confirmed their suspects. So they walked in a straight line towards it, through the forest until the trees gave way to the shore, and the light of the flashlight hit the water.

The Ohio River was wider than Clementine thought. The river by the shack near the school was nothing but a small branch of it. But the actual river was so big, she couldn’t even see the other shore. The clouds covered the moon and so the only source of light was the flashlight Gabe held in his hand.

She breathed in, breathed out. She looked at Gabe.

“Now what?” She asked.

“She was supposed to be here” Gabe said with a tinge of worry in his voice. “She should be close”

But half an hour later, Mariana wasn’t showing up. And Gabe was growing anxious.

“What if something happened to her?” He asked. “What if they caught her? What if she got bit?”

“She’s probably just delayed, that’s all” Clementine tried to reassure him, but in actuality she was just as worried as he was. Mariana had thrown herself into a war at thirteen years of age and assumed she could deal with everything that meant. She could be kidnapped, bitten, killed. She could get sick in the cold or she could have simply been sent home, and Gabe and Clementine were uselessly waiting for her to show up, risking their lives for someone who was not there.

Her mind instantly jumped to AJ. AJ, who she had abandoned in a school where people were scared of him, _angry_ at him. AJ, who was just six years old and barely knew what to do without his big sister there to help him. AJ, who was miles and miles away, protected only by other kids during an adult war. Kids who wanted him dead. Dangerous kids. Troubled kids. Kids with knives and guns who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him.

She wondered if he was okay. If he was scared, or if he was cold, or if Mitch had taken his anger out on him already. Sophie and Tenn could only do so much, because Sophie had a lot of work already and Tenn was just a small kid.

Another idea took form in her mind. What if the soldiers had found them? What if they had taken them and were on their way to the Delta? What if they had killed him?

No they—they couldn’t have killed him, right? They needed—needed the soldiers. They couldn’t afford to kill them. But AJ was so small, and she knew he’d fight back. And if kids got their fingers chopped off just for disobeying small rules…

Violet’s eye. Had they taken her eye out? Was that how they made people bend? Was that what they’d do to AJ if he offered resistance?

“Gaby!”

She knew that voice.

She turned around and there she was.

Mariana looked exactly the same as the last time Clementine had seen her. She was carrying an assault rifle wore a thick scarf around her neck.

She was okay.

She rushed to her brother and they greeted each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Clementine could only smile at them. At least they both had their sibling there. They were never truly alone.

“I was so worried!” Gabe whispered.

“I’m okay. Just… something came up. I’ll explain later”

She then looked at Clementine.

“Clem? What are you doing here?”

“It’s a long story” Clementine said. “We don’t have much time”

“Right” Mariana cleared her throat. “Where are you staying?”

Gabe cranked his neck to take a look at the forest”

“Must be ten minutes away”

“They’re planning an attack, aren’t they?” Mariana asked. “We… didn’t think you’d arrive so quickly”

“We’re on the outsides of town” Gabe explained. “Tell them and get everyone ready”

She sighed.

“And to think Derek was planning an attack”

“An attack?” Clementine asked. “On the Delta?”

“Yeah” Mariana nodded. “He thinks he can end the war like this, but…”

“He’s not gonna make it” Clementine stated, crossing her arms. “They have walls and watch towers and everyone inside has some sort of… military training.” She explained. “How many people are we talking about?”

“With everyone at Carson? Forty six” Mariana replied. “We’re tired and hungry, but he doesn’t care!”

“There’s more” Gabe said. “They’re still angry at you guys for what happened at the train station”

“That wasn’t us, really” She said. She glanced at Clementine. “Okay. What else? What is the Delta like?”

“It’s not as big as I thought” Clementine said. “Half the soldiers must be kids”

“How many?” Mariana asked. “In total, I mean”

Clementine and Gabe exchanged a look.

“I don’t know” Gabe said. “Five hundred? Six?”

“I think it’s more” Clementine corrected him. “At least eight hundred. They cram us all together in five barracks”

“Unless you’re an adult” Gabe added.

“Shit” Mariana breathed out. “Okay. Okay. What about the walls?”

“I mean, it’s… a military base, or a fort of some sort” Clementine said. “So they’re pretty strong. They have watch towers, too”

“With big searchlights” Gabe continued. “But they almost never turn them on”

“So we won’t see them” Mariana deduced.

“Exactly”

Mariana looked at Clementine.

“How many watch towers do they have?”

“Don’t you need to… I don’t know, write this down?” Gabe asked.

“I’ll remember it. Don’t worry” Mariana reassured him.

“I don’t remember the exact number” Clementine said. “But they must be about ten, at least. Half of them are by the walls, but there are a lot inside”

“Those were made by them” Gabe said. “To keep watch on us” He cleared his throat. “They grow their own food, too. And they raise animals”

“We raise animals too”

“But not as many. It’s fucking winter and they’re doing just fine. When was the last time you had some real food?”

“Before I came here, actually” She said. “Did you come by car? We didn’t hear a lot of engines”

“They don’t have a lot of cars” Gabe explained. “I think they mostly use horses. We came with both this time”

Mariana nodded in a thoughtful manner.

“We can’t just carry our guns around” Gabe continued. “Most of them are kept in the armory and they only give them to us when we go out”

“Or unless you live in the main building” Clementine added.

Because she had noticed that. There were very few kids with guns inside the Delta. She had only see a couple, and one of them was Minerva who, as far as she knew, didn’t live in the barracks with everyone else.

Not everyone got the same access to protection. They chose who got to defend themselves and who depended on others to survive.

Mariana turned her head to her.

“Main building?” She asked. “Do you not all live in the barracks?”

“Only most of the kids” Gabe said. “The ones who didn’t manage to get a tent. They have this sort of tent city in a parking lot, the ones who don’t want to sleep all crammed with everyone else”

“Or the ones who live in the main building, with most of the adults, I think” Clementine said.  “I’m not sure what do you have to do to live there”

“I think it’s based on how much they like you” Gabe said.

“How much you adhere to their ideals” Mariana suggested.

“Either way, we don’t live there” Clementine concluded.

“And what about electricity?” Mariana asked. “Do they have generators? Solar panels?”

“Solar panels” Gabe replied. “They’re on most of the roofs”

“Destroy the solar panels…” Mariana started.

“No more light” Clementine finished. “No searchlights, no heating…”

“Exactly” Gabe nodded.

“They’d still suppose a danger” Mariana said. “Those guys have guns, right?”

“Guns, grenades, bows, crossbows, blades…” Gabe counted. “Shit”

“That’s a lot of weapons” Mariana pointed out. She sighed. “I’m… I’m trying to be optimistic, guys, but I’m starting to get scared”

“You’d be crazy if you weren’t” Clementine said. It was easy to forget Mariana was just thirteen. She wondered if adults in her childhood felt that way when they heard her talk and when they saw her fight. If that was why they put so much pressure on her from young age. “You can still go back home if you want” She suggested.

“I can’t” Mariana shook her head. “This information could save us all. I can’t just _hide_ when our people are dying. It wouldn’t be fair to them”

Clementine nodded.

“I understand”

Mariana breathed in and breathed out. She walked to the edge of the river and for a moment Clementine wondered if she could see it well, if she’d fall off the shore on accident.

“They must have some weak point” She said. “Right? You can’t destroy the solar panels without getting caught. You’re under watch at all times, and you don’t even have access to guns” She sounded tired and defeated. “And… and whatever they do to kids… if they do that to you…”

Clementine frowned.

“What?” She asked.

“Uh…” Gabe hesitated. “When we catch a kid they took from the New Frontier before, they’re… I don’t know. They’re changed”

“Changed how?”

“The last one killed his mom” Mariana snapped. “That’s how”

“Shit” Clementine mumbled. “I didn’t think that was a common occurrence”

Mariana looked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“One of the girls here” She said. “She tried to kill her sister”

Mariana’s eyes were wide open.

“Yeah, that happens a lot” She said. “I don’t know what they do there. I only trusted Gabe to go because I knew he’d play along, but…”

“They cut fingers out” Clementine explained. “And eyes too, I think”

“It can’t be _just that_ ” Mariana stated. “It’s not just… individual events. There must be a… a whole system dedicated to brainwash them”

“I mean, I’m sure there is” Clementine agreed.

She had never considered the possibility that she was vulnerable to this process as well. She trusted herself to remain strong, and Gabe had been playing along and he was still the same old Gabe she knew. Perhaps she just needed to be careful.

Mariana was suddenly staring at Clementine with a strange expression.

“What?” Clementine asked.

“What are you doing here?” Mariana asked her. “Did Sophie send you?”

“Not exactly” Clementine replied. She bit the inside of her cheek. “You know the girl I told you about? The one that tried to kill her sister?”

Mariana nodded.

“What about her?” she asked.

“That was Sophie’s sister” Clementine explained. “Her twin. Minerva”

Mariana’s mouth opened in surprise before she closed it again.

“Her scar…”

“That was her sister” Clementine said. “Something happened, back at Ericson… Things got out of hand, and someone ended up dead” She told her. “Sophie sided with us, but the rest gave AJ and us two options: We could either leave the school together, probably go back to Richmond, or I could do… _this_ ”

“And that would be…”

Clementine sighed.

“Sophie wants me to bring her sister back” She said. “As well as a friend of hers”

“Oh” Mariana mumbled. She looked sorry and devastated. “Oh. Clem, listen” she started. “I’m sorry, but what you’re trying to do… we’ve already tried. We’ve been trying for years”

“So, it’s impossible?”

“No, not at all!” Mariana corrected her. “But it’s hard. And if she already tried to kill her before…” She shrugged. “I don’t think this is a good idea”

“What am I supposed to do, then?” Clementine asked. “Just… abandon them? Their family is counting on me to bring them back home”

“I know! I know. But Clem, it’s not that easy”

Clementine let out a tired breath.

“I have to try” She said. “If things with the Delta get violent…”

“I can’t promise nothing will happen to them” Mariana interrupted her. “I’m sorry. I don’t really have any power with Derek, and if they attack us…”

“Could you try, at least?”

Mariana gave her a sad look.

“I’ll tell everyone at the camp, if that helps” she suggested.

Clementine thought about it. A lot. But she didn’t really want to accept Sophie’s plan was, in fact, hopeless, and that Minnie and Violet were a lost cause. Violet sounded pretty opposed to the Delta, and while Minnie would probably be harder to convince…

She had to try. For AJ.

They slowly started walking along the shore. The snow wasn’t that high by the river, and they could walk with no problem.

“Who knows?” Mariana said. “Things may actually turn out well for you”

“I hope so” Clementine said.

It was dark, but their eyes had quickly gotten accustomed to it and now Clementine could distinguish the river shore, the movement of the water and the snow under her feet. No walker on sight. Winter wasn’t all bad.

Then, they saw something.

In the river, far away from them, there were a cluster of lights moving together across the water. The kids quickly went to hide behind the trees.

As the lights got closer, Clementine got to see what it was.

A ship. A small one, gliding down the river. Its engine roared softly in the cold night air. It came from the same direction Clementine and the soldiers had come from.

It could only belong to the Delta.

The ship never interrupted its journey. Never saw the kids observing it from afar. It continued to travel down the Ohio River and soon it was so far away, there was barely anything left to see.

The kids left their hiding spots soon after.

“They have ships” Gabe suddenly said. “I forgot that part. The Delta has a port with ships”

“Woah” Mari mumbled in awe. “That’s kind of an important detail”

“They have about a dozen” Clementine added.

“There are three families living them permanently, but people go lend a hand all the time”

“That’s their main transport method” Clementine looked at the cluster of lights traveling farther and farther away from them. “That’s how they kidnap people”

“I think they also fish like that” Gabe pointed out.

What would the Delta do without their port?

“Is there a river that connects here and Richmond?” Clementine asked.

“I don’t think so” Mariana replied. “But they can definitely get closer” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fuck. That’s how they move so fast”

“That’s how they get so close” Gabe said.

“If we get rid of the ships…” Mariana smiled. “I need to talk to Derek”

“That won’t defeat them” Clementine reminded her.

“No” She agreed. “But it might give us the upper hand”

They resumed their walking, this time quicker. The sky was completely covered in black clouds again, but it wasn’t snowing yet. The night was pitch black and Mariana took the flashlight from her brother’s hand to light her path.

“I was thinking” Mariana continued. She turned to Clementine. “You don’t happen to have a way to talk to us from inside, do you?”

Clementine shook her head.

“I guess I could get some walkie talkies, but they’d just tap into the signal”

Mariana nodded.

“There’s a way to encrypt the message” she told her. “We’re working on it. Until then, we’ll have to use a different method”

She looked at her brother.

“I can do that!” he agreed. “It can’t be that hard, right?”

“Do walkies even have the range?” Clementine asked. “I thought the longest range was thirty five miles”

“Yeah, with walkies” Mariana nodded. “But with an actual radio…”

“We’d have to steal one” Gabe said.

“I don’t know” Clementine crossed her arms. “It’s too dangerous”

If they recognized his voice…

“This could mark the difference!” Mariana insisted. After a moment, she added: “You don’t have to be part of this if you don’t want to”

“No way I’m leaving you two alone” Clementine retorted. She sighed. “I’ll… I’ll try”

Mariana smiled widely. Maybe things were actually turning their way.

They took a turn and started walking back to the town. The less time they spent away from the camp the less chance there was someone would notice they were gone.

“Gabe” Clementine called him. “Do you have the letters?”

“Letters?” Mariana asked. Gabe handed her his notepad and she read what he’d written with help of the flashlight. “Oh. Letters”

“Yeah” Clementine said. “If you ever go near Ericson again, could you give them mine? And… translate them, if you can”

“I’ll try” Mariana promised. She ripped the pages with the letters, folded them and stored them in the pocked of her coat before returning the notepad to her brother.

Clementine had asked Gabe to write two letters for her. One was for Sophie, containing all the information they’d told Mariana, as well as an update regarding Minnie and Violet’s state. She wished she could add her conversation with Violet, but she guessed it would be left for next time.

The second one was directed to AJ. In that one, she reassured him that she was okay, and that she hoped he wasn’t causing trouble and putting himself in danger. She told him she loved him for the millionth time and that she’d go back home soon. It was a bit more optimistic than the one meant for Sophie, but that was kind of the point. She didn’t want AJ to be scared.

She was suddenly aware of how comfortable she felt with Gabe and Mariana. She didn’t have to pretend she was just like the soldiers at the Delta. She didn’t have to pretend she was on Lilly’s side. She could be honest with them. These were her people, after all.

“Hey” Gabe said to his sister. “Do you have any news about Javi?”

“Nothing. We’re too far from home to use walkies, anyways” She replied. “I assume you don’t know anything, either”

“I just know everyone hates him”

Winter was so quiet and silent. Clementine was surprised not to hear any walker groan or even smell their rotting flesh. Snow was truly a blessing.

“Does he even know you’re here?” he asked.

Even in the darkness, Clementine could see Mariana biting her lip.

So, he didn’t know she was just a stowaway in Derek’s mission.

Gabe groaned.

“Mari…”

“I know! I know” She interrupted him. “But, did you really think he’d let me go?”

“Oh my god. Does he think you’re dead?”

“I mean, I bet Derek must have told him I was with them” She guessed. “When we were still close to Richmond”

“He’s going to kill us”

“Says the one who’s a literal spy” She rolled her eyes. “Listen, I know we lied and all, but we already talked about this” She stopped and turned to look at her brother. “We’ll go back home soon! I’m sure that Dad—”

“Dad?”

Mariana closed her mouth shut. Clementine took a step back, knowing this wasn’t her place.

Gabe threw his hands in the air and walked past his sister.

“Gaby, come on!” Mariana called him.

“I can’t believe you’re calling him Dad”

“I hate when you do this” Mariana trotted up to him with some difficulty. “This is not the time”

“Did you just forget about him?!” He yelled. Mariana slapped a hand on his mouth to shut him up.

“Of course I haven’t forgotten Dad. Gaby, come on!” She turned to Clementine. “He’s being stupid”

“It’s not stupid to remember him!” He protested. “Everything we’re doing… we’re doing it to make him proud, and you—”

“No, we’re not!” Mariana countered. “Gaby, Dad is…” She sighed. “Dad is gone. He’s been gone for years and…” She made a pause. “You still think he’ll come back some day, don’t you?”

She took a step towards him. Gabe clenched his fists.

“Gaby… he left us. He walked away. Three times. You can’t keep trying to make him proud when he’s not even here anymore!” She hesitantly reached a hand out and traced the little scar Gabe had above his left eyebrow with her thumb. “You can’t revolve your life around someone who’s gone”

He smacked her hand away.

“You don’t understand” He grumbled. Mariana just shook her head. She didn’t have the energy to keep arguing about that.

She looked at Clementine.

“I hate it when he gets like that” She said. “I thought we were over this, but…”

“He’ll come around” Clementine reassured her. “Don’t worry”

They didn’t talk again after that. Instead, they opted to walk in silence, without attracting any attention to themselves. Snow was falling again. Clementine hoped it buried their footprints.

They soon caught a glimpse of light and movement, from the Delta camp, not far from them. They quickly turned off the flashlight. They could hear the soft murmur of voices.

“Alright, everyone!” A man shouted. “There are raiders patrolling the wall…”

“Ugh, I hate it when they call us that” Mariana mumbled. “It makes us sound like savages”

“They should check the mirror” Gabe agreed.

The two siblings exchanged a look.

“You two should go” Mariana told them. “Don’t let them notice you’re gone.

They nodded, and Gabe quickly walked off. Mariana sighed and looked at Clementine. She opened her mouth as if to tell her something, but then closed it again.

“Good luck” she simply said, before turning around and disappearing.

Δ

Clementine wasn’t expecting the New Frontier to attack back.

She expected a defense, true, but _in Carson_ , holding position. She didn’t think they’d venture so far from the center of town to attack the soldiers in the camp.

Gabe ran and disappeared. Clementine took refuge behind a tree, not as close to the conflict as she would usually be. She had her gun and her knife, but nothing else.

Horses ran in her direction, and she had to jump to avoid being run over by them. Their hooves were heavy and violent and they could crush a skull. She was glad not to find herself under them.

A hand grabbed her arm and she quickly pressed her gun against a throat.

Her attacker wasn’t wearing a military uniform.

“What the fuck are you doing here, hat kid?” he asked, letting her go. “Get under fucking cover! Derek’s gonna kick my ass if one of our kids fucking dies”

Just as he said this, a bullet hit his shoulder and Clementine pushed him away. He fell into the snow and lay still, playing dead.

“You ok there?” a Delta woman asked her. Clementine gave a shaky nod.

“I’m okay” she replied. The soldier nodded and ran off.

“Fucking hell” the man muttered after she was gone. “Get the fuck off. This shit’s fucked”

She was too exposed. She could get caught in the crossfire.

One of the carts had fallen over. She ran towards it and crouched so she’d be out of sight.

Okay. A deep breath.

She stood up and took a look.

Derek was covering behind the corner of an uncompleted construction, shooting blindly at Dorian and Jack, hiding behind a rock.

What the fuck was he doing!?

And Clementine observed them, gun in hand.

Two….assholes she didn’t give a shit about, yelling and shooting at each other. She was supposedly on both of their sides.

She pointed at Dorian, and then at Derek. No one would believe she was really with the Delta if she shot Dorian, but killing a New Frontier party leader…

Derek was going to attack the Delta. He was going to put his people in danger, Mariana included, and he was probably trying to kill the girls.

She didn’t want to do this. She really didn’t.

But if Derek attacked… they’d all die. Or worse. They’d force him to talk and he’d end up confessing about this school in the middle of the forest that tapped into their conversations with a radio and sent spies inside their walls. He’d give them the coordinates and they—

_Bang!_

The gun went off and Derek’s body fell limp.

She only caught a glimpse of Dorian and Jack looking at her before she hid behind the fallen cart once again.

She then realized Gabe was nowhere to be seen.

She didn’t call out for him. She looked around without turning on her flashlight. It had stopped snowing.

She caught a glimpse of struggling. A bit ahead of her, away from the light and in the forest. There was a loud bang. Someone cursed.

It was Gabe’s voice.

So she stayed close to the ground and ran in that direction, with her gun in one hand and her knife in the other. Deeper into the woods.

She couldn’t let him die. She’d never forgive herself if she did.

Someone turned on a flashlight.

It was Tom. He held Mariana down against the snow with one hand. The other hand held a knife.

Gabe lay bleeding on the ground.

Clementine didn’t hesitate this time. She aimed and fired.

Tom’s shriek broke the night. He gripped his shoulder and screamed.

“You!” He roared. “I knew you’d be a fucking problem!”

It was too fast, and a single smack threw her against a tree. It hit her head and she was falling when an arm yanked her up and all air was kicked out if her lungs with a brutal blow. He tossed her to the ground. Her knife flew away from her reach.

“You little fucking rat” Another kick to the stomach. Her eyes watered. “You were with them all along, weren’t you? Should have fucking guessed” he delivered a violent smack and the world became black for a moment before he forced her back to reality pulling her by the hair. “Tomorrow, I’ll personally go to the barracks and I’ll kill your little friend, how about that?” He gave a sadistic laugh. “The boy, you know. I’ll make sure you watch every moment. I’ll make you watch when I take every single finger out of his hand before I chop off his arm and I leave him to bleed out” 

_AJ._

He wouldn’t—he couldn’t hurt AJ. He wouldn’t lay a hand on AJ.

AJ, without his fingers. AJ, mutilated and bleeding out in the ground. Crying and begging his big sister to help him. AJ, locked in the locker of a burning building. AJ, in the arms of a stranger.

In her dizziness, Clementine tried to kick him, but he simply pushed her back down against the snow again.

No, not AJ. Anyone but AJ…

Something raised behind Tom, and Clementine didn’t bother to warn him.

It hit him in the back of head. The back of an assault rifle. And it hit him again. And again. And again. He hollered in anger and tried to grab his attacker.

Mariana recoiled away in fear. Gabe yelled something to her, and she gave Clem one last look before running away.

While he was still getting up, Clementine kicked him on the back of his head again. And then she kicked him one more time. She’d make sure he didn’t hurt anyone else.

She stepped on his hand, and he shrieked when his bones snapped under her boot. She hadn’t noticed the blood pouring out of his head.

Something glistened in the light of the fallen flashlight. A metallic blade.

Clementine limped towards it and closed her fingers around the handle. She rested her weight against a tree and somehow managed to stand up. Her body screamed with pain.

He was going to hurt AJ. He’d tell everyone. He’d go to the school and hurt him. He’d chop him in pieces until there was no AJ left.

She couldn’t let him hurt AJ.

She took three steps forward, raised the knife and with a rigid movement, she buried it in Tom’s neck.

He stopped. His screams turned into bloody gargles.

His eyes were open in shock. Then in pain. Then in terror.

Clementine stepped away. Red poured from Tom’s neck like a river as he choked on his own blood. She rushed to tear the knife out and all the blood it could have stopped flowed wildly into the snow. She didn’t know there could be so much blood in a body.

He was dead.

He would never hurt AJ.

A new light—a warm light, flickered somewhere in front of her. A different flashlight.

Clementine could only stay where she was and stare at the person in front of her.

Violet looked at her with an expression of pure terror.

Δ

Two days later Clementine was already in one of the Delta’s cell.

She guessed this wasn’t the kind of cells they kept for the worst criminals, because it was surprisingly comfortable. It had a bed and all. It was more comfortable that the barracks. Had she been in a better mood, she’d joke with herself about committing crimes more often if this was the treatment she’d be receiving.

She vaguely remembered being taken to the main building after they went back to the Delta. After kicking out the few New Frontier soldiers left, they sent a few carts with horses to take the wounded back to the Delta while the rest stayed to rebuild the outpost. Clementine wasn’t as hurt as most of the others—like Gabe, who could barely open his eyes. She also recalled Jack trying to hurt her, but other soldiers pushed him away.

 _“You killed my dad!”_ he had cried. _“Fucking psycho! She killed my dad!”_

She didn’t remember well how the fight had ended, or the doctor that visited her to fix her wounds and check she didn’t have any broken bones (which she didn’t have, thank god). She didn’t really remember anything with much clarity. The last crystal clear scene she could recall was talking with Gabe and Mariana in the forest at night.

It wasn’t night anymore. It was the morning, about two days later. They’d spent the entirety of the previous day getting back to the Delta. She had the feeling they had tied her hands, but she didn’t remember. She slept in the cell for a long time before the sunlight that peaked through the windows woke her up.

She had a headache, her ribs and stomach hurt and her mouth felt like sandpaper from the thirst.

She’d had worse.

She had killed a man.

Two men, actually.

She… she thought she was past that. She could have stabbed Tom in the shoulder, or in the leg, and make him stop. He didn’t have to die.

_“Tomorrow, I’ll personally go to the barracks and I’ll kill your little friend, how about that?”_

He wasn’t talking about AJ. He was talking about Alex. And Clementine had been so blinded by terror and pain that it never occurred to her.

Of course Tom would never hurt AJ! He didn’t know where AJ was. He didn’t even know of AJ’s existence! How could he possibly hurt AJ?

And Derek…

Fuck.

She didn’t really care about Derek, but she’d… she had shot him. She was made the conscious decision to kill him. Conscious? How conscious?

What was she thinking?

Did she really think they’d torture him until he specifically told them about Ericson and about AJ?

Had he really deserved to die because of her paranoia?

Clementine pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself.

What had she done? How could she set an example for AJ if she acted like this? How could she protect anyone if she let fear take control of her?

Two lives. Two lives she had taken that night, two lives because she was scared and she didn’t think. They had families, and goals, and loved ones counting on them and praying they’d come back home. How many times had she worried about a loved one dying while they were away? How many times had she broken down when they didn’t make it?

Hadn’t that been the case of her parents?

God, Tom was a parent.

Her following through hit her like a freight train.

If Alex got his fingers chopped off for breaking such a small rule, then what punishment awaited her? What part of her body would they take? A finger? An eye? She already had only nine fingers and it was hard enough that way. It made her feel sick whenever she looked at her hand. She couldn’t lose another one. What if they decided to cut out a thumb? She—she wouldn’t survive if she couldn’t grab a gun or a knife. Would they burn her, like the New Frontier burned her before? What would they do to her?

Her heart was beating faster. She hadn’t noticed the beats picking up.

Would they cut out an ear? An arm? Would they hurt her in a way that made it impossible to function on her own? Would they doom her to need them in order to survive?

A bitter feeling settled in her stomach.

She’d rather die.

Maybe she deserved it.

They’d seen him kill a member of their group. Her façade was gone. They’d force her to confess and they’d kill her, for being a spy and a traitor, or worse. They’d probably kill Gabe, too, because he was with her in the crime scene. AJ would live the rest of his life without his big sister and Mariana would live the rest of her life without her big brother. In a way, they were failing their families.

All because of Clementine.

She thought she was better. It’d been years since she’d killed anyone because of losing control. Was it when she killed that man at that town? What was its name? Prescott? He’d sold her fake bullets that didn’t work, and she’d gotten angry. It was no season to get that angry, but she spent so much time angry back then… She’d done so much harm…

When she found AJ, she thought things would change. He changed her. He made her better. She needed him to be better.

And now, that he was taken from her again… look at how fast she fucked up again.

A deep breath.

She couldn’t let the separation do this to her. She couldn’t lose control again. She was older, and smarter, and she promised herself she would never go back to that.

She was thinking about this when the door opened.

She could swear she felt her heart stop when Lilly walked in.

She stood tall above her. Her military jacket made her look even more vicious and merciless than before. She looked at Clementine with an undecipherable expression, some strange twisted mix of anger and sympathy.

Clementine would have stood up and demanded to know about Gabe, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to give Lilly a reason to make things worse.

So she waited for her to speak first and to decide her future, in silence.

“Your friend said it was self defense” Lilly hissed. “Is that true?”

Wait, what?

She swallowed.

“It is” Clementine lied. “Tom attacked me. I was just defending myself”

Lilly nodded.

“I bet you were” She said. “I need you to tell me the whole story”

Clementine breathed in. She didn’t trust her lying skills. If Lilly as much as noticed something off…

“I was keeping watch with Gabe” She said. “We saw some movement in the forest and we went to check. We thought they were tending us a trap, but when we came back… I…” She bit her bloody lip. “I think I knocked against Tom and he started beating me up” She gestured to her bruises. “I’m sure he thought I was New Frontier or something, but I thought he was going to kill me. I had my knife so…”

“So you killed him” Lilly finished.

“I wasn’t thinking” Clementine confessed. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I was aiming for the shoulder, but he was moving too much”

“And what about Gabriel?” Lilly inquired. “He was found bleeding”

“Is he okay?” Clementine asked.

“He’ll be okay. Now” Lilly insisted. “Why was he bleeding?”

Clementine blinked. She couldn’t tell a different story. If Gabe had already told them something… they’d know they were lying.

“Didn’t he tell you?” Clementine asked. “I didn’t see everything. He was already there when I found him”

“He was shot” Lilly said. “That was pretty much clear”

“Maybe he was caught in the crossfire” Clementine suggested. “Or Tom shot him on accident. I really don’t know” She stood up, but didn’t approach Lilly. “Lilly, you have to believe me. It was self defense. If I had really wanted to kill him, I wouldn’t do it out in the open where everyone could see”

Lilly didn’t reply. She looked at Clem with a thoughtful expression. Clementine could practically see all the thoughts passing through her mind, all the possible punishments she had prepared for her. She couldn’t run. She had no control at all.

Then, Lilly said:

“You killed one of my most trusted soldiers, Clementine” She took a step forward. Clementine took a step back. “Self defense or not, this can’t be ignored”

There it was. It was over. They’d hurt her. There was nothing that could be said or done. If she offered any resistance… It’d only be worse.

Clementine breathed out.

“Okay” She said.

Was this like giving in? Giving up?

Lilly raised an eyebrow.

“That’s it?” She sounded genuinely surprised.

“You’re right” Clementine forced herself to say. “I killed one of your men”

Lilly looked quite perplex. She opened the door for Clementine.

“Follow me” She said. “And don’t you dare to think about running”

Δ

Lilly led her down a series of clean and tidy corridors, with big windows that gave to the training field, right in front of the main gates.

They were in the main building, it seemed.

Everything looked so much… cleaner, in the main building. No kids sleeping in the ground, no litter all over the place and no boxes piled up in the corners.

It was uncanny. It looked just like a building from Before.

They eventually reached a door that Clem recognized.

Inside, the Council members waited for them. Clementine just vaguely remembered their names. Andrew, the leader, and then… Anne and Julia, she thought? And an older man called Rodney. She wasn’t very sure.

But there was someone else, as well. She saw in one of the chairs in front of the desk, with a terrible posture and with blood drops in her clothes.

Violet.

She barely glanced at her, and when Clementine returned look, she stared at the ground.

Clementine took a seat at the chair next to hers. It almost felt like a school, or some sort of discipline institution. The leaders observed them from above, standing up, while they conjured up the sentence for the crime. The girls had no power against them. They were at their mercy.

Lilly stood behind them, by the door, as if making sure they wouldn’t try to run.

They wouldn’t dare.

“Clementine, right?” Andrew asked. Clementine nodded.

“That’s me” She said.

He looked at Clementine, and then at Violet.

“I think you both know why we called you here”

Both girls nodded.

“It’s because I killed Tom”

“So, you confess”

“I do” Clementine said. “It was self defense”

Violet looked at her. Clementine caught it by the corner of her eye.

Andre turned to Violet.

“Is that true?” He asked.

Violet gave a hesitant nod.

“It is” She confirmed. “I saw her. Tom was attacking her, and she simply defended herself. That was all”

Andrew drew a sad smile.

“Is this what happened to Gabriel, too? He was attacked?”

Clementine almost looked at Violet to exchange a look, but she held herself back, and thankfully, so did the other girl.

“I didn’t see him” Clementine confessed. “He was already wounded when I found him. That’s why I was with Tom. I heard Gabe screaming”

“I saw what happened” Violet lied. “Tom shot him. I don’t know why, but I saw him pull a gun on him”

“And that’s when Clementine killed him” Andrew deduced.

“I think she tried to stop him, and that’s when Tom attacked her”

The old man, Rodney, grumbled.

“That doesn’t sound like Tom”

“It sounds exactly like Tom!” One of the women (Anne?) chided.

“Why would Tom do something like that?” Julia asked. “To shoot one of our own soldiers unprovoked? That doesn’t make sense, even for him”

Clementine glanced at Lilly, who was merely observing, not adding anything.

Andrew huffed.

“Did anyone else see anything?”

“Gabriel” Lilly replied from her place by the door. “But he can’t be here. He’s in the hospital”

“Understandable” Andrew said. He leaned over the desk and looked at Clementine. “Now, why should we believe you?”

Clementine’s stomach dropped.

“What…?”

“For all we know, you could be making up all of this” He said. “Perhaps you here hesitant to fight. These used to be your people, after all”

Her people? The ones who stole AJ from her?

“They are not my people” She stated. “They’ve never been. They killed my brother!”

“That’s what you’re telling us” Andrew insisted. He stood straight. “Give us a good reason to trust you”

She didn’t have one.

She didn’t have a reason why they should trust her. She only had reason why they should _not_ distrust her, and they were falling short.

“I don’t know what to tell you” Clementine said. “It’s clear you don’t believe me, anyways”

“If I may add something” Lilly intervened. “One of my most trusted soldiers reported that she saw Clementine shooting the Platoon Commander”

Andrew turned to her, suddenly more interested.

“She killed Derek?”

Lilly nodded.

“Explain to me why she would kill her own commander” She continued.

Derek stared at Lilly for a moment with a thoughtful expression. It only made Clementine more nervous.

She hadn’t wanted to kill Derek. He might be kind of an ass but he didn’t deserve it.

And now she was rewarded for it?

Andrew tapped on the table to get her attention.

 “That brand on your arm” he said. “It stands for everything we’re fighting against. Piracy and crime and chaos. You can’t build a society on chaos” He circled the desk and stood tall above her. “And you’re wrong. I _do_ believe you”

Clementine’s head perked up.

“You do?”

“I believe you spent half your life in the run. I believe you’re tired. You just lost your brother” He said. “We’re fighting the same enemy, girl. We both want to make the world a better place” He chuckled. “I know it sounds stupid, to want to make things right in a world like this, but… If that’s not what we’re fighting for, then what is life worth?”

Clementine was growing impatient. She needed him to get to the point.

“But you might not be used to this kind of life yet” He said. “The world needs rules and discipline. It’s not about kill or be killed. And that’s something we need to make you understand” He clicked his tongue and went back behind the desk. “You are one of us, Clementine, and you will be rewarded by your loyalty. But you have committed a crime, and that cannot go unpunished” He looked at Lilly. “Take her to the School”

Δ

Clementine hadn’t struggled or fought back on the way to the school. But she’d almost had a full blown panic attack. The first one she’d had in years. Her chest hurt and it was hard to breathe, and every muscle in her body screamed at her to run. It wasn’t safe. She wasn’t safe.

She was being escorted by Lilly and Violet, the latter of which was still looking at the ground. She hadn’t talked since they left the main building.

She couldn’t do anything. She was powerless.

They walked down the street past the armory, always controlled by soldiers and with a small makeshift watch tower on the roof with its invisible guard, the main storage building in the Delta, where all the electricity was generated, and towards a two-stories building next to it, against the wall. It wasn’t an especially big building, but it rose tall over Clementine as she came closer to it. She felt like she was walking towards the guillotine.

Her heart pounded wildly and painfully inside her chest. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. This wasn’t supposed to happen to her.

“Violet, you’re dismissed” Lilly announced.

Clementine and Violet exchanged one last look. The other girl looked like she wanted to say something, but she ultimately turned around and walked away, towards the barracks at the end of the street.

Clementine was forced to walk inside the building. As soon as she saw lockers and the graffiti on the walls, she realized it was an actual school, once meant to educate real children.

Someone she knew would say its purpose had never changed trough the years.

It reminded her of Ericson. If she focused on a patch on the wall, she could imagine it was part of the piano room, and Sophie or AJ had drawn the graffiti on it. Maybe she could even imagine the sound of kids in the main yard, laughing and bickering. AJ would run up to her and show her the new drawing he’d made with Sophie and Tenn’s help, or try to play the last song Louis taught him.

But her home was miles away, and so were her friends and her little brother. They weren’t playing around or making art together. They were terrorizing him. Those kids were hurting him. Instead of bickering, she heard the distant occasional whimper and feet ruffling against the floor.

It was dark. This must be the only building at the Delta with all the windows barred. And the fetid smell of moss and humidity made the air feel heavy with a feeling of disgust and dread.

Lilly led her up the stairs, and Clementine could do nothing but to follow.

She wondered if this was the place where they kept Alex before.

Once they reached the second floor, they turned left and followed down a hallway.

Despite the walls, she could hear the muffled cries of kids behind the classrooms doors.

This was it. Nowhere to run. Nothing to do. She’d lost the battle.

There was someone waiting by one of the doors. A young woman who must be in her late twenties. She had short black hair and was wearing a leather jacket. She was also carrying a big toolbox.

Was this her torturer? The butcher?

Clementine blinked away the tears and Lilly made her walk inside an empty classroom. She tried to breathe in but it was as if her ribs were locked together.

The younger girl followed Lilly inside.

Most of the desks were gone, though they’d left two still in the classroom. Otherwise, despite how dirty it was, it was basically empty.

There were dark dried stains in the floor.

Clementine watched as the other girl placed the toolbox on one of the desks. The sight of it alone sent a strike of terror down her spine.

Lilly locked the door closed.

She needed to get out. She couldn’t—couldn’t let this happen. She didn’t want to be hurt. She didn’t want to be in more pain. Her body was small and young and exhausted and she didn’t want to be in more pain.

“Take your shirt off” Lilly commanded. Clementine dared to shook her head.

“No” She mumbled.

“I’m not asking you” Lilly said. “Take it off. Now”

Seeing as she didn’t have many options, Clementine managed to take it off with shaky hands and leave it on the other desk, followed by her hat. Thankfully Lilly didn’t ask her to keep going.

If they hurt her too bad, she wouldn’t be able to fight properly. She might not be able to fight at all without their help. Like Violet, whose blind spot kept her from seeing what was at her left. Maybe they hurt her in a way that she became dependant on them, forever. They could take her dominant hand, they could take more fingers, they could take an eye. And if they did that, what chances did she have at survival? How was she going to protect AJ when the time came? How was she going to travel and drive and defend herself?

They were going to break her. They were going to make her useless. With the pain, they were going to turn her into a mindless soldier, and with the wound itself, they were making sure she could never fight back or survive without them. They’d absolutely destroy who she was. They’d turn her into a different person.

Maybe that was the most terrifying part. She wasn’t that brave. If being apart from AJ could make her kill again, then how could she trust herself to remain strong through the torture and pain? How could she trust she wouldn’t turn into Minerva?

“Hey, no stress. This is just the standard procedure” The other girl, the young woman, casually said. She turned to Lilly. “How many, ma’am?”

“Twenty” Lilly replied. “Twenty five if she offers resistance”

Clementine sniffled and bit down her lip. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t going to give them that. She wasn’t going to let Lilly see her cry.

What was she doing? Scared and shaking? This wasn’t how she normally was. She wouldn’t doubt to fight back, or run, or talk her way out of it.

Was this giving up?

If she could not physically fight, then the resistance must be mental. Take her body, not her mind.

She couldn’t let her win that easily.

The younger woman walked so she was standing behind Clementine. Lilly watched from the door.

“Don’t move” she said.

The whip cracked against her back so hard she was sure it had made her spine snap. Tears of pain pricked at her eyes and she only had time to wipe them away before the second strike came.

She screamed this time and covered her mouth to muffle the sound.

She glanced at the door. Lilly was holding a gun.

No escape.

The third strike made her knees buckle, but she forced herself to remain standing. She wasn’t going to kneel.

She wasn’t going to let Lilly win.

But it was hard. The next two strikes forced her to hold herself up with the help of the desk. The sixth strike had her in tears.

She sobbed loudly. It hurt so much. So, so, so much.

And it was different than when she had to tear out her own finger. Because back then she was doing it to herself. She had certain control over the situation. She could take a little break if it got too much and she was trying to make it hurt as little as possible. She was doing it because she knew it would ultimately be better for her.

This was different.

The whole point was to hurt her as much as they could.

And it was someone else in control of her body.

The eight crack. She screamed and sobbed again. If her mouth and throat felt raw from the thirst before, now it was completely destroyed.

She couldn’t make it stop. She had no control. She was at Lilly’s mercy and Lilly alone decided when her pain started and ended.

The ninth one almost made her fall to the ground.  She sobbed and tried to walk away from the girl with the whip, and the next strike accidentally hit the desk.

“Please…” Clementine whimpered.

“Shit, stop moving”

The young woman raised the whip one last time and Clementine covered herself with her arms.

“That’s enough!” Lilly commanded.

Silence.

“Ma’am, are you sure…?”

“It’s an order. Put that thing down. Now”

What…?

Without hesitation, the girl cleaned the whip with a piece of cloth softly put it back inside the toolbox.

“There, it’s okay” Lilly said in a strangely comforting tome.

Clementine was wrapped in a thick soft blanket and Lilly pulled her towards her. She found herself burying her face in her shoulder and sobbing in the embrace.

Lilly held her as she cried, and for a moment Clementine wondered what the fuck she was doing. But the blanket was soft and she was in pain and she needed the comfort right now and even if she tried, she wouldn’t be able to break free from Lilly’s grip. She needed someone to hold her and tell her it was okay, and Lilly… happened to be that person, she guessed.

Δ

A doctor came to bandage and disinfect her wounds and then she was guided back to the main building. She didn’t think much about it until Lilly opened a door for her.

Clementine stared at the open door with little interest.

“What is this?” she asked bitterly. Her back hurt.

“Your new home” Lilly simply replied.

Clementine glanced at her before walking inside.

It was a small room with two double beds on both of the side walls, with a small table at the end and a closet. An old window casted a dirty light in the room.

All the beds had simple mattresses without any sheets, but there were two thick blankets folded on top of one, with a pillow on top. The closet was almost empty save for a few clean new shirts and a new leather jacket. An electric heater waited unplugged on the ground next to the table.

Was this where she’d be living in from now on? No more barracks? No more sleeping bags? With heating and a bed?

Was this what she got as a reward for murder?

Gabe and Mariana would never forgive her.

This new room didn’t make her feel proud or valued. It just made her feel guilty.

“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Lilly said, and Clementine wished she had a knife to slit her throat in that very moment.

“It wasn’t that hard?” Clementine snarled. It still hurt. The wounds were fresh.

“You did the right thing back at Carson” Lilly continued. “Taking down Derek was exactly what we needed. We’re proud of you”

But Clementine wasn’t proud of herself, and Lilly’s pride was less than worthless to her. She just glared at the woman, the soldier, the monster that stood in front of her.

Lilly sighed and took seat in one of the beds.

“When I first saw you, back in the forest” she started. “I couldn’t believe it. I thought you were all dead”

Clementine crossed her arms and didn’t reply.

“You were very young when this all started” she continued. “I honestly didn’t think you’d make it”

“Well, thanks” Clementine scoffed. Lilly glared at her.

“You’re stronger than I thought” she admitted. “You’ve grown up”

Clementine rolled her eyes.

“Cut the shit, Lilly” she snapped. “What’s your point?”

Lilly was clearly losing her patience. She inhaled sharply.

“I’m glad you found your way here”

Clementine didn’t react immediately. She studied Lilly’s expression and tried to deduce what she was really thinking. This was _clearly_ part of her scheme. Lilly didn’t give a shit about her.

…Even though she had stopped the punishment far before it was meant to be over. When she still had eleven more to go, after all. And that was… What? What did that mean? That she was being _nice_?

Lilly didn’t give a shit about her, did she? She had given her a new room, as part of her reward for killing one of her allies. The bed was warm and she had nice clothes now.

_(But did it matter?)_

She had made sure Clementine didn’t receive any permanent wounds and she’d even minimized her punishment. She let her go, putting her life in the line. She lied for her, she defended her and now, she even protected her from the whole punishment.

She didn’t _care_ about her, did she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having two chapters named after two songs with the same name makes things difficult. i had to get creative ok?
> 
> ok but this chapter is super important cause mariana here is the only one who has her shit together and no kidding this is actually super important bc of character development issues.
> 
> I know this chapter feels long, with 11k words (proofreading was a nightmate), but there's a longer one. A lot of things happen ok?
> 
> Chapter 12: "If You Come Back To Haunt Me" will be posted on September 22th, 2019.


	14. If You Come Back To Haunt Me

_“You might come, and you might break me_  
_But I know my place, cause I was born into it_  
_And you might crash, and you might burn up_  
_But you know your place, cause you dug yourself into it_  
_And they might win, and they might break me_  
_But I know my place, cause I’ve gotten used to it_  
_And you might live, or you might give up_  
_But you know your place, cause you’ve fallen into it_  
_And I’m falling too”_

–“[If You Come Back to Haunt Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJTGVvCuPsg)”, by Radical Face.

 Δ

 

The next time Violet saw Clementine, it was the next week.

She’d been worried sick, and Alex had been able to tell.

“Look if she’s telling the truth and it was really self defense” Alex said. “Then she should be fine, right?”

But Violet didn’t just believe in ‘Fine’. They told her she’d be fine, too, and she lost an eye. Alex told her he was fine, and she heard him cry himself to sleep every night. Minnie told her everything would be fine, and then…

Fuck!

They had taken Clementine to the School.

God knows what they could be doing to her.

“Why are you so worried?” Alex asked her that night. “You barely even know her”

“Shit, I don’t know” Violet grumbled. “This is so fucked up”

That day she was supposed to help in the kitchen, in the main building, so she hoped she’d get a chance to talk to Minnie.

She wanted to apologize.

She had been incredibly cruel and insensitive with her, and Minnie didn’t deserve that. Violet knew all she wanted was to protect her and yet she’d hurt her.

So she wanted to apologize to her girlfriend.

During dinner, they sent her and a few other kids to do the dishes while the rest cooked. The kitchen was crowded and noisy, and people gathered at the little window between the kitchen and the dining hall to get their plates. Violet wasn’t paying much attention to what the food was. She’d eat later anyways.

She took a chance to observe the people. As always, there was an armed soldier in the kitchen and two others in the dining hall, keeping people under watch at all times. People barged in with their dirty boots completely ruining the tiles floor and crammed themselves in tables too small for everyone.

It was noisy. People talked cheerfully or didn’t talk at all. Violet herself was among the ones who didn’t open their mouths until everyone had left, the doors had been locked closed and the lights were starting to get turned off.

She told the soldier by the door that she had to talk to Minnie and then made her way through the back door of the kitchen down a hall and up the stairs to the second floor.

She loved the main building. It was always clean, always silent and always warm, and during night it was dark and cozy. Instead of soldiers watching her all the time, there was only the occasional man or woman patrolling down the hall, but they never went inside the rooms. Violet didn’t even encounter one while she looked for Minnie’s door.

The only light came from outside, through the windows. It was just barely enough to light the hall and the white tiles floor. Violet was certain that if a guard walked down the hall right in that moment, if she pressed herself against the wall close enough, he wouldn’t be able to see her.

Being alone and being in the dark made her feel invisible. Hidden. Protected.

She treasured these little moments, when she was alone and no one could see her.

Why were people so scared of the dark? It made her feel safe.

But the moment ended soon, as she reached Minnie’s door. Despite the years, she still remembered where it was.

She’d lived there, after all. Only for a few months, of course. In the months between Sophie’s death and the event that led her to lose her eye. She’d been rewarded with a room for only Minnie and herself after taking part in her murder, and then she was kicked out back to the barracks after she deserted.

Minnie kept the room for herself now.

Violet hesitantly knocked and waited.

The door opened about a minute later, and there stood Minnie. She wasn’t wearing her jacket, only a grey shirt and pants. It made her look a little smaller and less intimidating, but just as beautiful. Maybe even more.

“Hey” Minnie greeted her.

“Hey” Violet replied. “Can I come in?”

Minnie stepped aside so Violet could walk in. She closed the door behind her.

“What is it?” Minnie asked.

Violet sighed.

“I’m sorry” She said. “I shouldn’t have acted like that. I just… I got angry and I said some shit I shouldn’t have” She took Minnie’s hands. “You’re right. In everything. I shouldn’t have blamed you for what happened to… you know”

Minnie looked at her like a mother looks at her annoying kid.

“Come here” She said, letting go of her hands and sitting down on the bed.

Violet missed sleeping on a bed so much.

The room wasn’t much different than the last time Violet had visited. Minnie still had the comfiest bed ever, but apart from that, the room was small and boring, with only a closet, a small table by the window and a bedside table. The only exception must be that lamp on top of it, that Violet had always loved so much. Minnie had scavenged it for her back when they still lived there, but after Violet was sent to the barracks, she ended up keeping it.

“You know I’m… I’m only trying to keep you safe” Minnie said.

Violet nodded.

“I know”

“I’m just asking you to be careful”

She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“You could live here” She continued. “You can have a nice life. But you still…” She looked for the right words. “You’re always causing trouble”

“I know” Violet repeated.

She knew she was difficult to deal with.

“If you only followed the rules…” She said.

Violet buried her face in Minnie’s shoulder. She felt the most comfortable when she couldn’t see her face.

“You’re getting hard to love, Vi” Minnie suddenly said.

And it shouldn’t have broken Violet’s heart like it did. It shouldn’t have made her nose itch and her eye water and she shouldn’t have felt like she’d been stabbed just from hearing those words.

_“You’re hard to love”_

But she did. She didn’t move at all, because she didn’t want Minnie to see her expression, but Minnie must have noticed something was up because she stood up and switched off the lights. She then walked up to the lamp on her bedside table and turned it on.

Warm light spilled in the form of hundreds of tiny dots all over the room, like stars in the night sky. The cylinder of the lamp rotated so the stars moved and danced across the dark walls.

But it was still dark. And that made Violet feel a little more comfortable.

Did Minnie find her hard to love?

Was she really such a burden to her?

“I’m sorry” Violet said once again.

Minnie sat down next to her again.

“It’s okay” She reassured her.

_Hard to love._

Did Minnie want to leave her?

No, wait, that was stupid. That was _so goddamn stupid_. There was a war going on and all she could think about was whether or not her girlfriend wanted to leave her? No wonder Minnie had such a hard time with her.

Violet rested her head on her shoulder. She really wanted to kiss her, but she guessed Minnie wasn’t in the mood to be kissed. So they stayed like that. In silence, for some time. Until Minnie stood up again and, standing tall above Violet, said:

“I think you should head back. It’s getting late”

Violet nodded and walked towards the door. Part of her hoped Minnie might ask her to stay the night, but she guessed she was wrong, as always.

So she left. Minnie closed the door behind her without saying goodnight and Violet was once against left in the dark hallway.

She didn’t start crying until she got to the bathroom. She washed her face and willed herself to stop quickly so she could get back to the barracks soon. But as soon as she stopped, she started crying again. It took her almost ten minutes before she could get a grip of herself.

Had she really hurt Minnie that much? She better stop. She’d be a better girlfriend. She’d stop starting trouble and she’d stop being insensitive with Minnie. She could do that.

She didn’t want to be abandoned again.

_“Hard to love”_

She was hard to love. She knew that. She was angry, and aggressive, and bad. She didn’t deserve love, anyways. She was nothing. Why would anyone want her? Why did Minnie love her? Why did she make the effort to be with her?

She made her way back to the barracks. Alex had been waiting for her, talking to some other kid. They would turn off the lights in ten minutes, so she was obviously worried when she didn’t see Clementine.

“I’m sure she just moved to the main building” Alex said when he saw the expression in her face.

“Maybe” Violet guessed. She should have asked Minnie if she’d seen her.

Well, no point in worrying about that. It was better not to think about it anyways.

She turned to Alex and his friends. Alex himself was sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of another kid in the same position. A third kid was watching them.

“What are you doing?” Violet asked.

Alex smiled and moved the covers of his bed, revealing a flat box with black and white squares.

“I found a chess game!” He said excitedly. “I’m playing with Emma. Maybe if she loses I’ll play with Elliot too” he gestured at the boy looking at them.

“I’m not losing” Emma, the small girl sitting on the bed, stated. “I don’t lose”

“Watch that humility” Elliot jokingly warned her. “You’ll let people take advantage of you if you’re that humble”

Violet smiled at them.

“Okay, just be over before they turn off the lights” She said. “I don’t want anyone getting in trouble. And Alex” She caught the boy’s attention. “Make sure you hide that well, or someone might take it”

Alex grinned.

“Understood!” He exclaimed.

A couple of minutes passed, and Violet observed the kids playing chess and bickering because she had nothing better to do. It was nice that Alex was making friends of his own age. He was a very lonely kid.

And a very smart kid, as well. He quickly beat both Emma and Elliot, who both insisted he had cheated, even though Violet could verify he was playing by the rules. She decided to join them a few minutes later, because she was getting bored and she needed something to distract herself from the worry.

Nine minutes. That’s all it took before she won the game.

“Victory Violet” Violet snickered.

“That’s impossible” Alex mumbled.

“Good luck next time” she smiled. She glanced at the guards by the gates. They were about to hit the lights switch. There was movement past the doors. “Now, you three get ready to sleep. No need to get in trouble”

Once the lights were off, she slipped inside her sleeping bag. She was already falling asleep when she caught a glimpse of a head peaking inside the barracks.

It was Clementine, still with her hat, but with a new jacket. She didn’t move inside. She just took a look before disappearing again.

Well, she was alive. That was good.

Δ

“You’re leaving today?” Violet asked. “You sure?”

“Yes, Vi!” Alex insisted. “Nothing bad is going to happen to me. I swear. I’m not going to fuck up again”

Violet sighed.

“Okay. I trust you” She playfully pushed his shoulder. “Go nuts”

They were just outside the barracks, walking among the tents in the parking lot. She wished she could get a tent, but with her record, she doubted they’d allow her one. Maybe if she scavenged one during a supply run…

Alex carried a backpack almost as big as himself. He said goodbye to his friends and hugged Violet before running off towards the cart that would take him to the port.

“Wow” a voice said from behind her. “Where is he going?”

Violet turned around to see Clem walking towards her. Her heart almost stopped in the moment. It took her two whole weeks to show up. Violet didn’t know if she felt relieved or pissed.

“He’s helping at the port” She explained. “He’ll be back in a few days”

Clementine hadn’t even gone to her archery classes. And she knew damn well the girl needed them. Now a word, not a message, no nothing. She had just vanished. Violet would sometimes catch glimpses of her in the workshop or in the dining hall, but that was it.

“Does he even know anything about ships?” Clementine asked,

“He lived in a seaside community before coming here, you know” Violet said. “He’s actually pretty good”

After that, they left for their respective jobs. Violet had to go help at the greenhouse, and Clem was on look out duty.

The field where they grew their food was a big square in the middle of the Delta. It took over almost half of the total area, and it was protected by a chain link fence with several doors to get in, and circled by streets that separated it from the other buildings. Inside, there was a big greenhouse, to grow food during winter, although with all the reserves and the pork and sheep from the farms, there really wasn’t any food crisis during the cold months.

With less and less soldiers to feed every day.

She walked through the chain link door and past the people removing the snow from the wheat sprouts. Asha had talked about the wheat growing cycle so much she could recite it in her sleep. They planted the seeds at the beginning of fall, and they barely grew at all until near the end of winter. ‘Vegetative phase’ or whatever. Asha had given her a death glare when she asked if that meant wheat was a vegetable. It wouldn’t be ready for harvest until summer.

She wasn’t going to do that. They needed people to take animal food from the greenhouse to the pig and sheep farms, and whoever had decided to assign her the job hadn’t considered it worth of horses and carts, so she had to take the bags and boxes in a wheelbarrow.

And so, whoever had assigned her the job had also assigned her the creepiest partner ever.

It was a little girl, of maybe nine years old, whose skin and hair had no color at all and who kept staring at Violet with eyes round and big like a frog’s.

Violet tried not to return the look as they both carried a wheelbarrow each, but it was making her uncomfortable. She’d grown used to being under watch at all times, but never from so up close and never by such a freaky guard.

They were walking down the narrow street that separated the plantation and the School. There was a watch tower next to its entrance.

Violet looked away and met the girl’s gaze. She kept staring at her with that face devoid of all expression. Her arms, lazily holding the wheelbarrow, had the grey skin sticking to the bones. Violet wondered if the kid was sick.

“What are you looking at?” She finally asked. The girl didn’t seem to have heard her, and Violet returned her gaze ahead. There was a horse uselessly trotting through the sidewalk. It could be doing Violet’s job, but she guessed she was the one meant to be beast of burden.

“You’re the one who deserted!” The girl suddenly exclaimed.

Violet’s stomach dropped and her blood went cold. She immediately glanced at the watch tower by the School. There wasn’t anyone in the street that could have heard the kid.

“I’m sorry!” The kid cried. “Was that a secret? I wasn’t supposed to say that?”

“Just…!” Violet sucked in a breath. This was a kid. She didn’t know any better. “It’s not a secret. I think everyone knows by now. But you can’t say that kind of shit”

“Why not?” The kid asked. “If everyone knows?”

“Because that happened years ago” Violet explained. “And if people hear you, they might know I did it again”

“Oh” The girl mumbled. “I heard some kids talking about you in my tent” she continued. Violet hadn’t noticed until then that she didn’t live in her own barrack. “They said that’s how you lost your eye. Is that true?”

Violet’s feet stuttered in her walking and she almost tripped over. She gripped the handles of the wheelbarrow so hard her knuckles turned white.

_Minnie held her head against the wall with one hand. With the other hand…_

She took a moment to regain composure. The kid looked at her with a worried expression.

“I don’t want to talk about it” Violet finally said.

The kid nodded and didn’t say anything else after that.

They walked past the main storage building and past the armory, a relatively small red brick building. There was a watch tower next to it. Another watch tower. There were so many watch towers. The cabin where the guard must be was barred with vertical wooden planks, creating some sort of dark box, separated enough for someone inside to see them and shoot them. But from the ground, you couldn’t see anything. For all you knew, there could be no one watching them at all.

They turned around the corner of the armory and walked up to the second chain link fence that separated the farms from the rest of the Delta.

Thank god, with the snow, they kept all the animals inside the farms now instead of letting them roam free through the small field.

They were still trapped by the walls, of course. The farms and the small field were inside the safety of the Delta’s walls.

Two other watch towers stood. One that belonged to the original military base, made of concrete, from before everything started, and it was against the wall, meant to look out for an external attack. The second one was in the exact middle of the field, and was made out of scrap materials. Like all the other towers, the wooden planks, this time horizontal planks, blocked the guard from sight.

But the guard could see everything. They were above and in the center, after all.

So better not start any trouble.

“The kids at my tent say you’re awesome” The kid blurted out.

Violet’s head perked up.

“What?”

“They say you’re a pirate” the girl continued. “And that you were supposed to kill your friend, but you didn’t, so they took your… uh…” The girl vacillated. Violet got it.

“Well, I can confirm I’m not a pirate” Violet said. The farms and the barn were at the other side of the snow covered field. It would be a long path. After a moment, she asked: “What did you say your name was?”

“Oh!” The kid gave a little jump. “I’m Beth”

“The story is wrong, Beth” she said. “That’s not what happened”

“What happened, then?” Beth inquired. “Wait, can I ask?”

Violet bit down her lip. She _did_ kill her friend. She murdered Sophie. She was stained and ruined forever and no kid should take her as an example. She was bad. This child shouldn’t try to strike conversation with her. She should run away, screaming and terrified. Violet was like the big bad wolf that was only going to kill more people.

Fucking murderer. A monster. That’s who she was.

But that wasn’t how she lost her eye.

So Beth must be talking about the time she let those two strangers go.

Two strangers that could have fought for the Delta. Two potential soldiers who could have saved lives and helped win the war.

Yet, letting them go must be the only thing she’d done in her life that she wasn’t ashamed of.

They were almost reaching the barn when Violet said:

“It wasn’t a friend. It was a recruit I was supposed to bring here. They resisted and I let them go. That’s all”

“Oh” There was a long moment of silence, only broken by the crunch of the snow under the wheels and under their feet. Then, the kid added: “I still think you’re awesome. And I bet my friends will think you’re awesome too”

“I don’t think so” Violet hummed.

“I know we’re the good guys” Beth said. “If Lilly hadn’t found me, I’d still be with my mom at the New Frontier. And she was bad”

Violet mindlessly nodded. So this was one of the kids taken from the New Frontier. Like Asha.

“But Lilly sometimes acts like my mom, so maybe she’s not all good” Beth said. “But you’re not like my mom. My friend Elliot says you’re super cool”

Oh no, no. She wasn’t ‘cool’. She wasn’t good. She didn’t want those kids to be like her. She wanted to scare her off. Don’t be like me. Be scared of me. Why aren’t you scared of me?

Once they were next to the barn doors, she let go of the wheelbarrow and said:

“I’m not a good person. I‘ve killed people. You and your friends shouldn’t worship me like that”

Her tone of voice was hard and stern, and she reminded herself of Lilly. It hurt to say that, but it was true. She couldn’t let a kid think her actions were correct.

Beth stared at her with surprise and an expression that resembled horror.

“What do you mean?” She asked. “You’re good”

_“You’re getting harder to love”_

“I’m not. I really am not” Violet corrected her. “I fucked up. A lot. Desertion is not ‘cool’ or nice or whatever you’re thinking about”

_“You’re so stupid”_

“But you did it!”

“That happened years ago and I regret it every day of my life” She insisted. She opened the barn doors and gestured the kid to walk in. “Come on. I don’t want to talk about this”

Beth made a protest sound, but carried the wheelbarrow inside anyways.

Violet followed her with her eye when she was suddenly met by Asha’s face, staring back at her.

Asha was there, waiting for her.

Violet’s blood went cold.

“Come with me” She took Violet’s hand. “I need your help for something”

Δ

Asha forced her into a small wooden cart carried by only one horse. It was full of supplies, bullet boxes, fertilizer bags and a couple of guns.

Before Violet could react or fight back, Asha got on the cart as well and the horse started moving. They traveled down the street until they reached the main gates. Asha waved cheerfully at the guards. The doors were open just enough to let them pass, and soon they were outside the walls, on the dirty road in the forest.

It hadn’t snowed in day. Which meant the snow that remained was hard and frozen. Patches and blankets of ice haphazardly covered the ground.

 

Asha had handed her the bow and arrow. She felt safer that way.

The smell of cold air filled her lungs.

Violet felt like she was walking on glass shards.

She tried to be as silent as possible, avoiding Asha’s gaze. She didn’t want to make her angrier and get smacked around again.

_But she deserved it, didn’t she?_

The watch tower casted a cold shadow over them. They quickly left them behind, and they were greeted by the weak light of the sun in their skins. Violet couldn’t help but notice how different the towers meant to watch out for dangers from the outside were from the towers to observe the people inside. In this one, you could see if someone was looking at you. It was bigger, but less intimidating.

“How many walkers have you seen in the past weeks?” Asha suddenly asked.

Violet shrugged with a rigid movement.

“I don’t know”

“Exactly!” Asha exclaimed. “It almost looks like they’re gone, right?” She gestured at the snow. “But I bet my ass they’re all buried here”

Violet didn’t know what to reply. Asha didn’t sound angry anymore, but that didn’t mean she could just lower her guard. She had been the one in the wrong. She had to apologize and hope Asha forgave her.

“And I thought, who’s the best archer in the Delta?” Asha chuckled. “I need to deliver some stuff at the corn farms, and I needed someone to watch my back”

Asha was being nice. That was good, Violet guessed.

It was pretty easy to find walkers in the snow, because while they were still and silent, there was always a hand, a piece of cloth or a ribcage pocking out of the snow. They were so still, Violet didn’t even need to use her bow, because she could easily crush their skulls with her boots. But from the moving cart, she was forced to waste perfectly good arrows when she could have stopped to kill them with her knife. The rate at which her arrows were disappearing started to worry her—they didn’t have a lot of arrows at the Delta, and it felt like a waste, so she decided to put the bow down and only use the arrows she had left if she actually needed to. If a walker got too close to the horse or something. The brown blood that stained the snow soon was left behind.

“You know, this wasn’t so hard” Violet said to Asha. “You could have done this on your own”

She cringed at her own stupidity. Who did she think she was, questioning Asha’s choices?

“Yeah, I could have” Asha agreed. “But I wanted to talk to you. I know you like silence and being antisocial as fuck, so I brought you here”

Violet would have made an snarky remark, but she decided against it. She just observed the snow below her, as the cart raced down the dirty road, to the north. The moving forest

 “You did a good job at Carson” Asha smiled. “I didn’t know you’d go, but it’s nice to see you’re helping the Delta”

Violet didn’t know how to reply to that.

“Thanks, I guess”

“And helping that girl get the appropriate retribution” she continued. “You know, you could have taken advantage of it and lied to get a room in the main building, but you told the truth. I’m really proud of you”

Violet chuckled bitterly.

“Really?”

No way anyone would ever be proud of her. She didn’t deserve pride.

“Yes, really!” Asha pat her back. “There was no one there. Anyone else would have made up a savior story about exposing a traitor, because it sure looked like treason, but you were honest and humble. That’s exactly what we appreciate in the Delta. This is what family is about, Vi”

Violet hadn’t really thought about that. Painting Clementine as a traitor? What was the point? Lying like that didn’t make any sense to her. Why would someone even come up with that idea?

“But what I really wanted to talk about was that talk with the kid”

Oh?

Asha turned to her.

“I heard your talk” she said. “You were pretty loud actually. That kid was talking about your previous treason as if it was something cool or exemplary. But you didn’t play a hero or anything. Again, you were humble and owned up your mistakes” She smiled at Violet “You’ve grown a lot. And I can tell you’re learning. I hope you can keep to do things right” She extended one arm, while the other still gripped the horse’s rein. “What about a hug?”

Violet didn’t really know if she wanted a hug, but nevertheless, she fell into Asha’s arms and let her hold her tight.

She felt a lot better. A lot safer.

Asha wasn’t mad at her anymore. They were friends again.

Asha whispered in her ear:

“I forgive you”

Δ

The corn farms weren’t originally farms, really. Violet was pretty sure they used to be a big, big hardware store. Much like Carson, the port or the other settlements, the corn farms were under control of the Delta. In fact, they were their biggest source of food. They planted everything you could think of, from corn, wheat and tomatoes to potatoes, onion and garlic, along with an interminable variety of aromatic plants, to keep the pests away. They raised animals as well, in one of the buildings. The people who worked there lived in the building that had once been a small shopping mall, which was also used for storage.

Everything was grown inside the building. The sunlight had been replaced by special light bulbs where it couldn’t reach through the glass roof. It was too dangerous to grow food outside. A walker could fall on the ground and contaminate the food, or a bandit could see what they had and attack them, and the snow just made everything harder.

Of course, the place was surrounded by watch towers.

“Who is there!?” Someone demanded to know, from the top of the building. They had no guns and no crossbows. The only weapon they were holding was a long stick that looked like a spear, or a javelin. It was a rather sad image.

“Rockingham!” Asha shouted, and the man put down his death stick. He quickly climbed down from the roof and the doors were opened about a minute later.

Asha hit the horse with a whip and the beast carried their cart inside.

The place was better lit than the barracks, but not by far. The light tubes hung from the roof, high above her head. It was a big open space, mostly empty save for the broken vehicle near the corner, the bags and boxes piling up against the walls, a few big tables with tools and repairing equipment scattered all over them and the few aisles randomly standing with a couple of boxes and bags on them. One of them had several weapons hanging from it: some axes, a broken spear, three knives, two metal baseball bats and a flare gun. A few empty boxes— bullet boxes— littered the hard ground. It was clear that the farms had a weapon problem.

Even then, the room was so big it still looked vacant.

“Good to see you” the man said. Asha hugged him before turning to Violet.

“I brought her to help” she said. “Hope you don’t mind”

“Hey, the more hands the better!” he smiled. “Come on, kid. We have to store this”

They started to unload all the cargo, putting it in wheelbarrows and walking through the big room. They went through a door and down a hallway, to the back of the building. She saw through a window a room even bigger than the one at the entrance, covered by a dirty glass roof and full of diverse plants. Several people were working there.

“Did you bring any weapons?” The man asked Asha.

“We can’t afford to” Asha replied. “We’re dealing with a lot of shit back at the Delta”

“I can imagine” the man said. “Are you sure the council can’t spare… a couple of guns? Some bows and arrows?”

_Bows and arrows. And spears._

“I’ll see what I can do” was Asha’s response, which was as empty as the big room. But Violet already had an idea.

Once they were done storing all the boxes and the fertilizer, the man smiled.

“Well, girls, you two are a blessing” he chuckled. “I have something for you two”

He took them to the next room, where there was a big kitchen waiting for them. He grabbed two fabric bags from the counter and handed them to the girls.

In the moment Violet opened it, she was hit by the smell of warm homemade bread. There were about a dozen of small balls of bread of about the size of her fist inside.

“They won’t be warm for very long” the man explained. “But I hope this is a good repay for your help”

It was better than good. It was amazing. The kids were going to love it. Violet could kiss this guy.

“Thank you” Asha said. “God, this looks delicious”

It wasn’t until they were back at the main doors that Violet noticed how few people there were in the farms. One would think this would require a lot of staff and a lot of protection.

“Have a safe travel, girls” the man said as they got back in the cart. Violet realized his spear didn’t even have a point. It was just an untreated tree branch with one of the extremes sharpened by a knife.

“What happened to your weapons?” she asked.

“Oh” The man glanced at his spear. “Well, most of the construction material was destined to the farms, and with everything going on, we’re not in the best position to find something else. My boys are going to check the nearby towns to see if we can find something. They left yesterday”

So that’s where everyone went.

“Do you even have guns?” Violet asked, now pretty concerned. They’d be almost defenseless against an attack.

“Well, now that your friend has brought us a few…”

Violet glanced at Asha.

“We need the guns, Vi” she explained. “They’ll be fine here”

Bows and arrows.

_“I have an idea” the boy had said as he carved a bone with his knife. “Just wait and see. We’re gonna catch so many fish with these”_

Spears. A knife. A bone.

“You should use bones for the point” she told the man.

They left moments later. Asha devoured the bread, because she wanted to taste it while it was still warm, but in the moment she opened the bag the cold air leaked inside and she could hardly get anything hot past the first bite. Violet decided to keep the bread for later. The kids at the barracks would love them.

Δ

At night, back at the barracks, she sat on Alex’s bed and opened the bag. He had left her his cot while he stayed at the port. Surprisingly, it was still warm, and so she could taste it better. Soon, more kids gathered around, and Violet took the time to part every small loaf into four pieces and carefully handed them to every kid that asked, making sure not to skip anyone. Even Beth, the creepy little kid, was there. To Violet’s surprise, she hugged her when she handed her the piece of food.

Violet herself didn’t eat much, in the end, but she didn’t mind. She just wished she could keep some for Alex. Alex’s friends, Elliot and Emma, ended up inviting her to a chess game, and she purposely let them both win. They laughed and ate the last piece of bread with happiness.

It hadn’t been a bad day.

Δ

Her archery classes with Clem didn’t start until a week later. They said it was a ‘back injury’, and that she needed to rest. Violet deduced immediately what that meant, but with the soldier observing them as she handed her the bow and told her where to stand, she wouldn’t dare to talk about it.

Clementine walked in a strange way, weirdly careful, as if she were afraid to break something. She flinched when she took off her jacket and dropped it on the bleachers.

“Hey” Violet greeted her. Once she was a little closer, she added in low voice: “You okay?”

“I’m fine” Clementine replied. She took the compound bow Violet offered in her hands. Glancing at the distracted guard, Violet continued:

“What did they do?”

Clementine made a dismissive gesture with her hands.

“It’s nothing”

Clementine had bugged her for hours in the forest. This time, it was her turn.

“Bullshit” Violet cursed. “You’re flinching and cringing and you look like you can’t even walk”

Maybe that wasn’t the best way to express concern. No wonder Minnie found it hard to deal with her.

Clementine sighed.

“Okay” She admitted. She lowered her voice. “They hit me with a whip”

_Oh, Clem…_

“But I’m okay!” She rushed to reassure her. “I’ve had worse. I can deal with this”

“Are you kidding me now?” Violet snarled. She was painfully aware of the guard watching them. “Did they even bandage you?”

“They did. Don’t worry about that” She assured her. “I mean it. It’s not like I can do anything about it right now”

Violet grimaced. She examined her bow. She wanted to tell her something, but she wasn’t sure what.

“Shall we begin?” Clementine asked.

“Yeah, yeah” Violet nodded. She grabbed an arrow (she was running out of arrows) and tensed the bow. “You see my stance?” she asked. She repeated the motion. “You have to use your back to pull the bow back. Not your arms”

Clementine nodded.

“Like this?”

She arched her back and tried to draw the bow, but then she flinched and dropped it with a little whimper.

Violet immediately straightened her back and rushed to her.

“I’m fine” Clem said before Violet got a word out. “I’m fine”

She took a step back and tried again, but again she groaned and the bow almost fell from her hands.

“You’re not fine” Violet stated. “Come on. Let’s sit on the bleachers”

Violet wanted to offer Clem help, but Clementine was decided to walk over to the bleachers by herself. They placed their bows and arrows on the seats.

Clementine sat down. Violet didn’t. She kept observing the guard by the door.

“How long ago?” she asked.

Silence.

“Three weeks? I don’t know”

“Fuck” Violet mumbled.

“Violet, I’m fine”

“You can’t even hold a bow”

“I just need to try harder”

“You shouldn’t _have_ to try harder” She took a seat next to her. “You’re living in the main building now”

It wasn’t a question.

Clem nodded.

“I guess it’s a reward for killing Derek”

“Who?”

“He was… I don’t know. The leader of the New Frontier group we fought? I think he was important”

Violet nodded.

“Do you like it?” She asked bitterly. Because of course Clementine would get a bed for herself.

“I guess so” Clementine shrugged. “It’s definitely more comfortable, but the neighbors…”

Violet nodded again.

“You disappeared” she said. She wasn’t looking at Clementine. She kept staring at the guard. The guard wasn’t looking at them.

“I had to rest” Clementine said. “I was… busy with something”

Violet couldn’t shake the feeling that Clementine had talked to Lilly.

Whatever. Let her talk to Lilly. Who cared? It wasn’t as if Violet gave a shit. She barely even knew Clementine.

Still, she’d wait until Clem felt better and insisted in trying again, because she knew she would. And if she didn’t, then she’d probably walk her back to her room.

After a moment, Clem whispered.

“Did you really see me with Tom?”

Violet turned to look at her.

“Yeah, I was there”

“But… I mean…” She licked her lips. “Did you see me killing him?”

Her whisper was so quiet Violet almost didn’t hear it.

No, she hadn’t seen her stab him. She just saw her with the knife and the dead body.

So she shook her head.

“I didn’t see that part”

“So, you didn’t know it was self defense”

Oh.

“I just… assumed it was” Violet replied. “Tom was a piece of shit. I’m not saying I wanted him dead, but…”

“I understand” Clem said.

Violet didn’t really know if it had been self defense. She just knew she’d defend Clementine over Tom.

“Thank you” Clem muttered after a moment.

“Uh…” Violet vacillated. “You’re welcome”

“I mean it” Clem insisted. “It would have been so much worse if you weren’t there”

Violet knew. A whip may leave scars, but everything would heal sooner or later, right? Eyes and fingers didn’t heal.

She had to admit, she was glad Clem didn’t have to lose any body part.

Clementine stood up with some difficulty. She grabbed her bow.

“Okay” she said. “Let’s try again”

Δ

Violet was in a better mood for the next two weeks. She wasn’t scared of Asha anymore, and she even let her come over to her apartment to use her radio and talk to Alex.

“This is so cool!” He exclaimed from the other side of the line. “Everyone here is so nice! The Captain is teaching me how to sail, and he says he wants me to have a boat for myself!”

Violet chuckled. The sun was setting and she’d have to start her shift at the workshop soon, but Alex was so excited she just couldn’t abandon him.

“Just make sure you don’t crash it” She joked.

“I won’t crash anything. I promised”

“He’s so sweet!” Asha squealed. She was reading a book in her bed while Violet sat at her desk with the radio. “Tell him I say hi”

Violet smirked.

“Asha has something to tell you” she said.

“What is it?” Alex asked.

“She just told me where she kept her secret stash of gummy bears”

Asha stood up immediately and snatched the mike from Violet’s hands.

“Alex, that is not true!” She laughed.

“He’s going to find them some day, you know” Violet teased her. “You’ll probably die if you eat them all in your own”

“It’d be worth it” Asha promised.

“I’ll find them!” Alex laughed through the radio. There was a muffled voice somewhere behind him, and the next thing he said was: “I—I have to go now. I’ll talk to you later!”

He sounded weirdly worried. Before he hung up, Violet asked:

“Is everything okay over there?”

“Yeah! Just… the Captain says he saw something weird. It’s probably nothing” He reassured her. “So… uhm… goodnight!”

Violet smiled, but she couldn’t help but be a bit worried.

“Goodnight. Try not to crash any boats!”

“I won’t!”

And so, the communication was cut.

“There” Violet left the mike on top of the radio. “I better get going now. I’m working at the workshop tonight”

“Damn” Asha whistled. “Well, good luck fixing trash, then”

Violet walked out of the room and closed the door behind herself. Just as she was about to walk away, she heard shuffling and the radio being turned on again in Asha’s room.

She stayed as quiet as possible, trying to listen.

There was a lot of white noise and some cursing from Asha’s part, and then…

Some words. Someone was talking, but it didn’t sound like English. Was that Spanish?

Right. The New Frontier leader and his family spoke Spanish. No wonder they’d use it to communicate during times of war.

Since she wouldn’t understand anything no matter how much she heard, Violet marched out of the main building and towards the workshop anyways.

The workshop was right in front of the storage buildings that were now the barracks, against a corner of the wall. It had two stories, and it was where all the repairing and manufacturing was done.

Violet wasn’t very good at art and crafts, but she was working on something interesting.

She gave a nod to the guard watching the entrance and she climbed up the stairs to the second floor. There was one big room with a series of lockers against the walls, three long tables occupying almost all of the space and a flickering warm light bulb illuminating the space. The tiles floor was covered in litter and dust and the walls had the paint ruined by the years old humidity. The windows gave view to the barracks.

Not even from up there Violet could see if there was anyone in the small watch tower.

The lockers had different materials and artifacts inside. She opened hers, grabbed what she needed and dropped them on the table.

There were two women working on one of the solar panels on the table and a boy working on a broken gun, so Violet only had a bit of space to work. But it was enough.

With so many hands working on the solar panels, she could allow herself to dedicate some time to her personal project.

Bows and arrows weren’t the most common weapon in the Delta. Soldier preferred guns, or, in any case, crossbows. Minnie went everywhere with her favorite crossbow, for example.

But Violet hadn’t gone to five years of archery camp when she was little for nothing. And when everything went to shit, a bow and arrow were her best friends when it came to hunting and killing walkers in silence, back at the school.

Not the School, with capital S. She meant the other school. They didn’t raise animals there. They had to hunt and fish basically every day to survive, with arrows and spears with points made of bone. And if she wasn’t an expert when everything started, then she sure was an expert now that she depended on it to live.

But archery was such a neglected discipline in the Delta. They barely had any arrows compared to the mountains of crossbow bolts they kept in the armory. It was enough for her, but as more people were learning, they’d need new arrows to fight.

Arrows, and also bows.

It was several long branches, still untreated. She had been picking them up for the last week to work on them.

The corn farms needed weapon. Long distance weapons, particularly. And Violet had made bows and arrows on her own before. She could arm them and teach them. She could actually help someone.

She had finally gathered everything she needed. So she started to work.

She vaguely recalled what she’d figured out with the kids at the school. It had to be smooth, dry and dead flexible hardwood and about as tall as she was, which wasn’t a lot. She eventually reduced her options to two branches. She picked the lighter one. Better start with only one bow to see if it worked.

What did Aasim use to say?

Right. She needed to mark the handhold and the limbs. She picked a marker from one of the lockers and measured where the marks should be. Once that was done, she picked a wood carving knife and started to give it shape.

She wasn’t the best wood carver out there—that was Mitch, for sure, who could make knives and spears and arrow points out of human bone, which she had always thought was cool as fuck.

_Wait, no._

She shook her head. Enough thinking about that. No point in making herself sad. She was there to make a fucking bow, not to go down the memory lane.

Minnie said this was her home now. And Asha had just forgiven her. She wasn’t going to fuck up again.

_Three years._

Three years since that fucker, Marlon, had walked away when Violet and the twins needed him the most.

_“Take them! Please, leave me alone!”_

A strange feeling settled in her stomach. Anger? Disappointment? Hurt?

Three years. It had been three years. She shouldn’t still feel like this.

Except that she did.

Three years, and ever since, no one had came to look for them. She just watched Marlon walk away as they were forced inside a truck, back when the Delta still used cars.

Three years.

Were these the kinds of things a bow could make you think about?

Had anyone ever missed her, back then? She wanted to think Louis missed her, because they’d been best friends. But he probably didn’t really care. Maybe he was even relieved of not having to put up with her bullshit anymore.

She hadn’t thought about Louis is… years.

Louis, with his stupid piano and his stupid jokes. She loved him so much. Yes, loved him. He was like a brother to her. They were family. That was unquestionable. She’d do anything to see his dumb grin and hear his dumb jokes again.

Her shoulder dropped. He probably didn’t care about her as much as she cared about him. Why would he? She wasn’t funny, or smart, or strong, or especial. He had other friends. Better friends. There wasn’t any void that needed to be filled so desperately that Louis stuck with Violet, the first person he found. He must be so much happier now that he was free of her.

She’d been friends with Marlon too, once, and he’d abandoned her on the first chance he got. Would have anyone done the same?

She ended up fucking up that bow, so she had to pick the second piece and start all over. She made the marks and carved it so that the handhold, the center of the bow, was thicker than the limbs. She cut notches at the ends of the limbs to tie the string.

She had picked some fishing line, because it was the easiest one to get. But the piece of string she had wasn’t long enough, so she had to get up and grab another one.

It was then that she realized everyone else was gone.

The light bulb was still flickering above her head. She looked out of the widow to check the sun had already settled, but when she looked at the clock, she confirmed it was still early. In the barracks, the lights would be turned off until two hours later.

_“Do you think anyone would really want you?”_

After what she’d done?

She didn’t want to think about this.

She opened a locker and took some old fishing line from inside. She tied the string in the notches of the bow and slowly stretched it to test the flexibility. It was lighter than her compound bow. It was strange. It felt like the bows she used to make back then.

If she ever came back, they’d kill her on sight.

She knew, she knew.

It was… whatever. It wasn’t as she was ever going back. What was the point of thinking about it? It was so fucking stupid. This was her home and whatever happened before didn’t matter. She should be over it by now, like Minnie and Asha.

They always told her not to think about this.

Violet realized only then that there wasn’t any guard in the room.

No one was watching her.

She wasn’t used to that.

And so what if they abandoned her? So what if they never came back for her? If they didn’t think about her anymore? If they were happy she was gone?

She deserved it. She was bad. She killed Sophie. Her own family.

There was a strange empty feeling in her stomach.

Why would anyone want her?

She was truly lucky to have Minnie. Even though she didn’t deserve Minnie, either. Minnie was good. She was brave and kind and always put up with her bullshit when she didn’t have to. He gave her chance after chance no matter how many times Violet fucked up.

She betted they’d take Minnie back, if she ever returned to the school. Everyone loved Minnie.

She snapped the bow in half. She didn’t know how, but now she was holding two separate pieces only connected by a loose string.

She threw them to the other side of the room and fell to the ground with her back against the wall, her knees to her chest.

Something else she had broken. All her work was worthless in the end.

“What did that bow do to you?” Someone asked. Violet looked up to see Clementine climbing up the stairs and entering the room.

“Leave me alone” Violet demanded.

Clementine didn’t leave. She crouched and picked the pieces of the broken bow.

“You made this?” She asked. “Violet, this is incredible!”

Violet shrugged.

“Whatever”

What did she want from her? Why was she there? Why was she talking to her?

Clementine was looking at her.

“Hey” She said. “What happened?”

“Nothing” Violet replied. “I’m just feeling like shit. That’s all”

“Do you want to talk?”

“Not really”

Clem nodded.

Why didn’t she run away? Why wasn’t she scared of her? What did she want from her? She must want something. Everyone wanted something. No way she’d just choose to spend time with someone like Violet.

“Okay” She said. “I’d leave you alone, but I need to work on something”

She inspected the tables and opened the lockers, looking for something. She looked in the shelves and finally found something inside the trash can.

It looked like an old broken radio transmitter. Clem set it on the table and started inspecting it.

“Why bother? It’s broken” Violet said.

“I think I can make it work” Clem assured. “I’ve been trying to fix it these last weeks. It was only in the trashcan because I hid it”

“Someone smashed it with a hammer. You’d need to replace every piece. It’s be easier to make a new radio from scratch”

Clem started to pick apart the broken pieces of the radio. She set the wires, the dials and the buttons next to the box.

“I think it’s almost done, actually” she said. “I had a friend who showed me how to do it. Kind of”

She checked if there were any batteries inside the artifact (there were none), and pulled put the antenna. Surprisingly, it still worked.

She was doing everything with her hands. No way she’d be able to fix anything like that.

“You need tools for that, you know”

“I know. I couldn’t find them” she said. “Do you know where they might be?”

Violet sighed and stood up.

“I’ll go get them for you”

“Thanks”

So Violet found a toolbox in one of the shelves and placed it next to Clem’s radio transmitter. She wasn’t very sure of what she’d need, so she just took a screwdriver, some pliers and a soldering iron.

“What does it look like, doc?” she asked. “Can you save it?”

“It’s just some broken connections” Clem explained. “I got this”

“Have you ever done this before?”

“Don’t you trust my radio fixing skills?”

“I wouldn’t trust you to fix a pair of sunglasses” Violet scoffed playfully. Clem glanced at her.

“Why don’t you fix it yourself, then?”

“Nah, I’ll think I’ll just watch you do it”

Clem chuckled. She removed the back of the transmitter and started working on the wires and connections inside.

“Do you happen to have a flashlight in that toolbox?” she asked.

Violet found a small one and held it to light the inside of the transmitter. It was a mess of wires and circuits. She didn’t know how Clem understood anything.

“That bow you made was really good” Clem suddenly said. “I mean it”

Violet shrugged.

“It’s useless now”

“Why did you break it?”

Violet didn’t know how to reply.

“I was angry. That’s all”

With the pliers and the soldering iron, Clem cut and reconnected a few wires and changed the place of some pieces. She took a small green piece from it and placed it on the table.

“I need an amplifier” She said. “This one’s broken”

Violet picked it up. It looked like any other small circuit piece that you’d find when you opened a computer or a remote controller.

There were other radios lying around. Maybe she could find a new amplifier.

She started searching through the shelves and the lockers. There was a wide arrange of radios, walkie talkies, broken phones, old laptops, wireless headphones and more broken wrist watches that you’d imagine.

It was going to be a long night.

She had just picked up a baby monitor when Clem spoke up again.

“Is everything okay with Minnie?”

Violet almost dropped the thing.

“Everything’s fine” She forcefully placed the monitor back in place. “It’s just… I was thinking about some stuff. It’s nothing important”

“What was it?”

Violet cranked her neck to look at Clementine.

“You’re pretty nosy” Before Clem could say anything, Violet sighed and proceed to explain. “I was just thinking about the place I lived in, before I came here”

“Where did you live?”

Violet chuckled.

“I know it sounds weird but… There was this boarding school in the forest. The teachers left when everything went to shit, and most kids didn’t get picked up so…” she shrugged. “I lived there for… five years, I think. Until I came here”

There was a moment of silence. Violet grabbed an old phone and opened the lid. Most of these phones still worked. They were just useless without connection a way to call, so no one bothered to load them anymore. They were all out of battery. She guessed she had nothing to lose and pressed the key to turn it on. To her surprise, the screen quickly flickered back to life.

“What did you find?”

“A working phone”

“Wait, really?”

Violet handed it to Clementine, who held it as if she was holding a sacred relic.

“I hadn’t seen one of these in years” she confessed. “I barely remember how it worked”

“Did you have one?” Violet asked.

Clem shook her head.

“My parents thought I was too little to have a phone of my own. But they let me use theirs from time to time” She smiled sadly. “Have you?”

“We didn’t have money for that” Violet replied. “I mean, we lived in a trailer, and with my mom having to work three jobs and my dad wasting all the money in beer…”

No point in thinking about that. No point in thinking about her family. The Delta was her family.

“And you said they never came to pick you up” Clem said cautiously.

“I mean, I don’t blame them” Violet said. “It was far and it’s not like it was worth the effort”

“I…” Clem licked her lips. “I think you’re worth the effort”

Violet shouldn’t have blushed like she did. She quickly turned around and continued to look for something, this time in the lockers.

“I mean, what kind of parent would do that?” Clem insisted.

“Parents who can’t afford it, I guess” Violet countered. “Or who don’t care”

Not that she _deserved_ that.

She found a radio in one of the lockers. It was probably meant for receiving, not for transmitting, but maybe it had something useful.

“I lost my parents too” Clem said. Violet listened. “Before everything started… They had gone on a trip to another city. We lost communication and I went to look for them, but it was too late”

“How old were you?”

“Eight. I turned nine on the trip”

“And you got there on your own?”

In one of the lockers, there were a couple of old walkie talkies no one used anymore that Violet picked.

“There was a man named Lee that took care of me” Clem told Violet. “He was there since the beginning”

“Did you know him before?”

“No. I found him on my backyard” she chuckled. “I… I think we were like family”

Violet didn’t have to ask. This man wasn’t around anymore, so it was safe to assume he was dead.

“We were in the same group as Lilly at first” Clem continued. “That’s how I met her. We were like… only ten people, and Lilly was the leader”

“Were you friends with her back then, too?”

Clem shrugged.

“I don’t know. She was always nice to me. And she was a good leader. She was friends with Lee, too” She cut the wrong wire on accident and cursed under her breath. “She killed a girl and then she stole our RV”

“Sounds like a great friend” Violet remarked.

“I know. Really, I only came here because… I just hoped seeing a familiar face would make things better” She made a pause. “After what happened to my brother…”

Right. Clem had lost her brother.

“I’m sorry” Violet said.

“It’s okay” Clem said weakly. “He’s… at peace, now”

Violet found three broken radios while looking in the tables and took everything to Clementine. She opened them with the screw driver and found the pieces that looked like the amplifier.

“What does this thing even do?” She asked.

“I think it’s to broadcast the signal” Clem explained. “The better the amplifier, the further the signal goes, I guess”

Clem picked the old amplifier and compared it to all the others. Violet thought the old amplifier looked in perfect conditions, even better than the other ones, but Clem insisted that it was broken and it wasn’t as if Violet could really tell the difference.

She picked the biggest amplifier and started soldering it to the transmitter.

“I’m not on Lilly’s side” Clem said. “I don’t even know if I agree with going to war”

“It’s not like we have much choice” Violet said. She was holding the small flashlight again.

Clementine didn’t reply.

She tried the antenna one more time, and while to Violet it worked fine, Clem said it was broken, so she unscrewed the antenna of one of the other radios and replaced it for a new one.

“Vi?” Clem asked as she finished with the antenna.

“Yeah?”

“You… you came here against your will, didn’t you?”

Violet bit down her lip.

Did it _matter?_ _No!_ It _didn’t matter!_ The Delta was her _home_! So? So _what_ if she hadn’t initially _wanted_ to go there? She was there _now_!

“This is my home” Violet forced herself to say.

“How can it be your home if you didn’t choose it?” Clem insisted.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters! Look at what they—” She gestured at Violet’s face, but didn’t finish the sentence.

“At what they… what?” Violet demanded to know.

Clem hesitated.

“Look at what they did to you, I mean” She finished. “Don’t tell me that was an accident”

_Her eye._

_She could still feel it burning._

Violet looked away.

“Would the people at… at where you lived before… Would they do that to you?”

“What’s your point?” Violet snapped. “What? You want to desert? Is that what this is about?”

“No!” Clem rushed to say. “That’s not what I mean. I’m just saying that…” She lowered her gaze. “I just don’t like what Lilly does to kids here”

“I don’t like it either” Violet agreed, crossing her arms. “But what are we going to do? We’re just kids. We can’t fight them off. We don’t have a choice”

She didn’t mean to sound as weak and desperate as it came out.

And as the words left her mouth, she realized how truly, utterly helpless they were.

They were just a bunch of kids against army adults who controlled their every movement, their bodies and their thoughts, and there was no way to put up any resistance. Their lives were condemned to serve purposes and goals that weren’t theirs to benefit… who?

“There’s always a choice, Violet” Clem said. She hesitantly reached out a hand and touched her arm.

Violet took in a deep breath.

“What are you going to do?” She asked. Because Clem was clearly up to something.

Clem shrugged and shook her head.

“Right now, I just want someone I can trust” She said. “Someone I don’t have to be scared of”

And they seemed to be trapped in a world in which the only true trust, the only true connection, could be found between two scared kids when they were alone. Where love and affection and friendship were conditional and there was a wall between people that could only be torn down when you were utterly honest, open and vulnerable with the other person.

And Violet had never been as honest, open and vulnerable in her life as when she uttered the next words:

“I don’t like this place”

She had never dared to say that. To Minnie, to Asha, not even to Alex. Her only friends, for the last three years. She could never tell them what she truly thought, how she truly felt. She was even scared of thinking and feeling like herself when she was around them. When she was under watch. When she was surrounded by kids and soldiers in the barracks.

“I don’t like it at all. This is not where I want to be”

Maybe that’s why she loved being alone so much. She could be herself.

Clem nodded.

“Me neither”

Clem didn’t make her feel like she needed to be alone to be herself. To think and feel and feel like a person.

She rubbed her eye and only then realized she was about to cry.

Clem smiled at her and Violet wanted nothing but to pull her into a hug in that exact moment.

Clem offered her a hand, and Violet took it.

And Violet could know exactly what was going through Clementine’s mind in that moment. She was glad. She was thankful. She felt safe, just like Violet, because just like Violet she was daring to trust again. And it didn’t felt like Asha or Minnie’s sudden changes of behavior, in which it felt like they were putting on mask after mask and nothing they felt was true.

But Clem felt true.

And she didn’t just have to guess what Clem was thinking. Clem showed it, too:

“I’m so happy to hear you say that” She said. “I was worried that… you’d call me crazy and kicked me out”

“Why would I do that?” Violet chuckled. “I don’t think you’re crazy at all”

“No?”

“No. I just think you’re being naive” She let go of her hand.

“Well, let’s be naive for one night” Clem smiled. “Shall we?”

Violet gave her a smile, because how could she not?

This girl must be the bravest person she’d ever met. Braver than any Delta soldier, braver than Lilly and maybe even braver than Minnie and Sophie.

Clem led her to stand next to the radio.

“Do you still have that phone?” She asked.

Violet took it out of her pocket and showed it to her.

“I still can’t believe this shit works”

Clem looked at her new radio.

“Do you want to try it?”

They found a wire to connect the phone and the radio and Violet checked the music library of the phone, full of weird and obscure songs she had never heard the names of. She picked one at random, and the music started to play through the speakers.

It was a soft organ sound, and soon a cello and a piano joined it.

When was the last time Violet had heard music?

“I haven’t listened to music in… shit, years” she said

Clem smiled.

“I missed music too”

Louis always played the piano. He was fucking obsessed with it. It wouldn’t be rare for him to wake up the entire school by playing at midnight. He said it was ‘for morale’, and Violet always insisted that a good night of sleep was better for morale than a big piece of future firewood making noise at 3 am.

Now she missed it. She missed him. So much.

 _“You might come, and you might break me_  
_But I know my place, cause I was born into it_  
_And you might crash, and you might burn up_  
_But you know your place, cause you dug yourself into it”_

“It works!” Clem exclaimed. “I can’t believe it works”

“Now we just have to check if it can transmit” Violet said.

“Right” Clem looked at her. “I’ll go see if I can find some walkies”

As Clem looked through the shelves and the lockers, Violet listened to the music.

 _“And if you come back to haunt me_  
_I could probably use the company_  
_Come have a seat”_

She wondered if Clem would know how to dance.

She shook her head. It was stupid. Clementine wouldn’t want to dance with her, and that was… way too intimate, anyways. Dancing was meant for couples, not for friends.

“Found something!” Clem called. She came back with one walkie talkie in her hand. “You go downstairs and I’ll see if I can find the frequency”

The music stopped and Violet climbed down the stairs. She turned on the walkie and struggled with the channels until he heard Clem’s voice coming out of the device.

“Can you hear me?” She asked.

“I do” Violet replied. “Clem, you really made this work. It’s impressive”

“Wow. Thanks for always having faith in me” she chuckled. “Thanks. Come back! We can check the distance tomorrow”

So Violet went back up and handed Clem the walkie.

“We should probably hide it” Violet suggested. “So no one else will use it until it’s ready”

They found a big box and Clem climbed on top of a chair to place it on top of the lockers, where no one would pay attention to it.

Violet checked the clock in the wall. Half an hour until the lights were turned off in the barracks.

“We should get going” she said. “I don’t us getting in trouble”

“You go. I still have to find something”

“What is it?” Violet asked. “I can stay and help, if you want”

Clem shook her head.

“I insist. You go and get some rest. You deserve it”

Violet gave her one last look before climbing down the stairs once again and walking out of the building. The workshop was directly in front of the parking lot where the tent city was, so it was a short walk to the barracks.

She already missed Alex there, but she had Clem now, and she was good company. If her radio transmitter worked, she could talk to Alex anytime she wanted and she shouldn’t have to wait for Asha to get a free moment to let her sneak into her room and use her radio. That is, if the soldiers didn’t confiscate the radio for themselves, although fixing electronic devices was a pretty useful skill that could get Clem far.

She slipped inside her sleeping bag. Another kid had stolen Alex’s cot. She’d have to get it back for him once he came back, but for the moment, she allowed the child have a soft place to sleep.

She still had the song stuck in her head.

 _“And I won’t bend, so you’ll have to break me_  
_But I know my place, and I’m pretty used to it_  
_And you might turn, and you might lose face,_  
_But you know your place, cause you’ve given into it”_

Fuck. The bow.

She still had the other branch, so maybe she could still save it, even if she had to start again. But she hoped the job would be less tedious with music.

Not if someone took the branch before she got the chance to work on it. It could get broken, or ruined, or someone else might notice its shape and steal her idea, and it was hard to get good braches. She didn’t have a lot of chances to go out and most of the trees surrounding the Delta weren’t very good for this kind of job.

She asked a kid with a wrist watch the time. She still had ten minutes. She could run to the workshop, take the branch and hide it somewhere. It’d only take a second.

She ran across the tent city in direction to the workshop doors and carefully opened them to walk inside.

Once the doors were closed and she was isolated from the noise outside, the first thing she noticed were the voices:

The first one was a boy, and the other one was a girl, who talked with a metallic noise, as if speaking through a mike.

They had gotten Clem’s radio.

The second thing she noticed was that they weren’t speaking in English. They were speaking in Spanish.

Violet tried not to have prejudices, but truth was that there weren’t a lot of people in the Delta who spoke Spanish, and she didn’t think there was anyone who was fluent in it to talk as fast as the person with the radio.

Why would they speak in Spanish, if they were talking to a fellow Delta soldier?

She silently started to climb up the stairs. She didn’t have any weapons to defend herself.

Once she could hear the voices more clearly, she sat on one of the steps.

She recognized that voice.

It was Gabriel, Clem’s friend. He was talking to a girl at the other end of the line.

The first floor of the workshop was incredibly dirty and incredibly dark. No one could see her.

Her stomach dropped.

Gabriel was a spy.

That was the only thing that she could figure out. He was probably even part of the García family. Javier García had two children, a boy and a girl. And the girl at the other end of the line…

She needed to tell someone, didn’t she? She couldn’t ignore a spy and a traitor. Because if the Delta was bad, the New Frontier must be worse. They were bandits and criminals, after all. They’d kill them without a second thought.

But she knew what happened to deserters, and traitors, and spies. And as stupid as Gabriel was, she knew he didn’t deserve what they were going to do to him.

The radio was suddenly turned off. Violet’s heart beat so fast it hurt.

Gabriel paced around the room. The sound of his footsteps echoed in the cold empty building.

“They’re attacking the port tomorrow night” he said to someone.

The port.

They were planning an attack, right under their noses. They were going to take what made the Delta so powerful for the New Frontier. They’d all be dead within the week.

“She says they don’t have time” Gabriel explained. “After losing Carson…”

Tomorrow night.

And for a moment, only for a moment, she considered not doing anything. She considered keeping quiet and letting them do whatever they wanted.

_“There’s always a choice, Violet”_

Was that true? Did Clementine mean it when she said that?

And Gabriel may be a pain in the ass, but he didn’t deserve the punishment. He didn’t deserve what they’d do to him. He was just a kid. Just like Violet.

Was there an universe in which this was an option? A possibility to hit them back? To, perhaps, change the way she was living?

No.

No, there wasn’t.

 Alex was in the port.

And she knew the New Frontier. They attacked and destroyed everything in their path. Without the preparation… Without any chance of defense…

They were worse than the Delta. Simple pirates and thieves. They had no consideration for human life and they didn’t blink once before killing children. Even their own children.

A New Frontier child who dared to go back to the New Frontier was a dead child. The Delta was merely saving them.

And if they got to the port… if they got their hands on Alex and everyone else working there, if they got a hold of their ships and took over the fishing… if they got so close…

She wiped away a tear threatening to fall and silently rushed out of the building.

She needed to tell Lilly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah that's a lot of things that happened but wait until next chapter tho.  
> Okay, I know what you're all thinking. I should reply to the comments. I know! I know and I love replying to your comments! I really do! But both lack of time and laziness always get me, and I know it's been two weeks sine I posted Cherry Wine and I still haven't replied to One (1) comment in that chapter. And yeah I feel guilty for it, but I feel like too much time has passed and replying now it's worthless.  
> So I promise I'll try to reply to comments again. I'm sorry guys.  
> And thank you all for being here for me and this story! I have to admit I haven't writen much of Act III yet, but I'm hoping on getting down to it this week. It's going to take some time (although I do have all the structure writen down, so once I force myself to write it should come off more easily than before). So I want to thank you all for your patience and support. It means the world to me. This is my first long story (with 400 pages and over 130k words so far!) and I'm SO proud of it. I'm definitely planning on finishing it, even if I'm not as involved in the fandom as I used to be. This has taken a spirit and body of its own, with its own world and character dynamics and philosophy and I don't think it depends too much on my interest in the fandom anymore. The game might not be mine, but this one little story is, and I love it.  
> Chapter 13: "Rivers In The Dust" will be posted on September 29th, 2019.


	15. Rivers In The Dust

_“You wear a rose from yesterday_  
_Like the world is green and overgrown_  
_And I wear a handkerchief around my mouth_  
_To keep the dust and ashes out_  
_I dream a glass of water_  
_With you dreaming of the sea_  
_And I watch my feet and you would watch the sky_  
_And we would wonder why our eyes no longer meet”_

–“[Rivers In The Dust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1DOEPoRxFg)”, by Radical Face.

Δ

Clementine worried she might have feelings for Violet.

She didn’t mean it to happen. In fact, she’d been trying to avoid it, but Violet was Violet and having feelings for her was something inevitable.

She was funny, but not like Louis. Her humor was more snarky, bitter and ironic but it always made Clementine smile because she knew that this was her way to express what was going on in her head and some of the things she said were actually funny, and under all the porcupine quills, she was actually a very sweet girl. She saw how she stood up to the soldiers when they messed with the younger kids, or how she tried to put others before herself. And on top of that, she was too freaking cute. Clementine had heard her hum along the music and patiently listen to the kids’ rants and teach them how to play chess.

She felt her chest tighten with warmth every time she saw her.

She might not know her that well, but she really wanted to.

She wouldn’t say she was in _love_ , and with some luck she wouldn’t get that far, but dammit. Things were getting difficult.

For one, because feelings made you unfocused. They created bias, and they were an obstacle for rational thinking, and while back at Ericson she would let herself feel everything she was feeling (she surely did for the two weeks in which she had a crush on Louis, before it went away), in a place like the Delta it was too dangerous to get distracted like this.

And also, because Violet was dating Minnie, that… piece of shit of a girl. And feeling bad about _unrequited love_ was the most stupid way to lose time and energy during a war.

She had more important things to think about. Like working on the radio to communicate with Mariana and the school.

And of course, Violet just _had_ to help. She had to hold the flashlight so close to her, so close their arms touched and Clementine could hear her breathing, and she had to listen to the music so curiously and with such a sense of wonder, like a baby kitten discovering flowers for the first time. And Clementine absolutely _had_ to hold her hand, didn’t she? Because she lost self control when she felt too intensely, and she worried things were getting out of hand.

She had to admit, she was quite disappointed as she saw Violet leave, walking down the stairs to go to sleep in the barracks. But having her out of sight definitely helped her snap back to reality.

As soon as she heard the door slam shut, she ran towards the emergency door at the back of the room and opened it.

Gabe was waiting there, at the end of the stairs. There was barely a small alley between the workshop and the wall where you could hide, in the fire escape.

“All clear” Clementine said. Gabe nodded and ran upstairs. Clementine closed the door behind him. “I fixed it. Everything’s ready”

Gabe didn’t look at her. He was still angry.

Of course he was.

She got the radio down from the lockers and placed it on the table.

Upon seeing the artifact, Gabe’s eyes widened with wonder at the sight of the radio transmitter.       

“You did this all by yourself?” He questioned. His tone of voice was hard.

Never mind Clementine had worked so hard on it, or that she was so proud of what she’d done.

“I didn’t do it alone, you know. Violet helped”

“I didn’t know you were such good friends” he scoffed. “Come on. Help me get this”

Clementine pushed back her anger and got down to work. She managed to turn it on and skipped through the channels.

“…promise, there’s nothing in the woods…”

“…won’t believe what I found…”

“…I’ll bash their brains out if they…”

“…had one job…!”

She had chosen the right amplifier. She could catch conversations from the port, from the main building, from smaller Delta outposts and even the corn farms…

She hoped it was good enough to establish communication with Mariana.

She truly wondered if she could contact the school with this. Could she talk to AJ? Could she hear her little boy’s voice again?

The idea made her heart beat faster. She needed to hear his voice. She needed to know he was okay and pretend he was there, next to her. She needed to take him out of that dangerous environment, with boys that wanted to hurt him and who kept him away from her.

“Alright” Gabe mumbled. “Now we only need to…”

He found the channel they had agreed on with Mariana and checked his wrist watch. It was the time they’d agreed on with Mariana.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Clementine asked. “I mean, anyone could hear”

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d care about it”

Clementine took a step back.

“What’s wrong with you?” She snapped.

“What’s wrong is that you killed one of my people” he snarled. “And now you’re getting rewards for it”

He was still angry about Derek.

Clementine was genuinely surprised he still wanted to work with her.

“I didn’t have a choice” Clementine rushed to defend herself. “They were shooting us! And you know they don’t like me. If he saw me and thought I was with the Delta…”

That wasn’t entirely true. Well, it was true, but it wasn’t all of the truth. She had kind of wanted to prove her loyalty. To show Lilly that she could trust her.

“So you shot him just in case?”

Clementine was already angry at herself. She didn’t need more torture.

“We can talk about this later” She scolded him. “Now let’s get this done”

Gabe rolled his eyes.

“They can’t understand us” Gabe finally answered her question. “I got this. Don’t worry”

“Of course I worry” Clementine took seat in one of the chair. She wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but she didn’t think he’d appreciate the contact. “They could still recognize your voice and come after you. I don’t want that to happen”

“With all the static, Mari and I will be lucky if we recognize each other” he pressed his lips together “It’s not like this is going to _kill_ anybody. I can do this”

Clementine gave him a sad little smile.

She had to trust him. What other choice did she have?

They exchanged a look.

Gabe struggled with the dials for a moment. He only heard static. He took in a deep breath, grabbed the mike and pressed the button.

 _“¿Hola?”_ he whispered. Clementine waited in silence.

After a moment, a familiar voice answered:

 _“¡Gaby!”_ Mariana exclaimed. Her voice was buried under layers and layers of noise and static, and Clementine only heard muffled sounds and fired-rapid Spanish words that ran over each other, but Gabe seemed to understand and that was enough.

They exchanged words so quickly Clementine wondered how they didn’t run out of breath. She decided to stand up and keep watch, as there was no use on trying to understand the conversation until Gabe could translate for her. She discreetly looked out the window and saw the barracks and the tent city. The watch tower in the middle of the parking lot had a series of thin meal planks hiding from sight whoever was inside. It stood almost as tall as the third floor of the workshop, where she was hiding. Out of sight, even from them.

The kids down there were walking back inside their respective barracks. No one held them at gunpoint. They walked in voluntarily, doing the soldiers’ job by themselves, under the ever watchful gaze of the guard in the watch tower. The warm streetlights were soon the only source of light inside the workshop. It filtered through the dirty windows and casted a dim light on the two children. Violet had taken the flashlight. The older kids who lived in tents were going to sleep, up to twenty teenagers forcing themselves into a dark green military tent designed for ten people. She could see the soldier in the second watch tower, taller and by the wall, made of concrete. He was looking out for danger outside the wall, in the forest. Everyone could see him from down in the tents.

Clementine caught a glimpse of Violet walking towards the barracks. She smiled and moved away from the window.

More important things to do. Yeah. Okay. She could keep watch.

She made sure the emergency door to the fire escape was closed but accessible, she tried to find something that could be used as a weapon (she found a cardboard box full of glass shards of the size of her hand) and she checked the first and second floor to make sure there was no one there. Of course there was no one there. She had already checked and she hadn’t heard anyone come in.

If anyone found out… if anyone heard them… god, the things they’d do to them

Would she have to kill them?

The thought made her knees buckle and her stomach sink. She suddenly felt like throwing up.

She didn’t want to kill anyone else.

She couldn’t sit down. Her anxiety wouldn’t let her stop moving. She paced around and glanced at the doors, the stairs and the windows every a couple seconds. Every moving shadow made her heart jump to her throat. Every creaking sound made her feel like she’d pass out from the terror. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. Would she able to hold a gun if she had to? To hold a knife?

For AJ. This was all for AJ.

Gabe finally stopped talking, put down the mike and turned off the radio. Clementine opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything, Gabe said:

“They’re attacking the port tomorrow night”

Clementine swallowed and nodded.

Tomorrow night?

“She says they don’t have time” Gabriel explained. “After losing the outpost…”

Was that a sound downstairs? Footsteps?

She didn’t reply immediately. She put her finger on her lips to tell Gabe to stay quiet.

They didn’t make a sound for a few seconds. There was nothing.

“Is everything okay?” Gabe asked after a moment. “You look tense”

“I don’t know” Clementine said. “It must have something to do with the fact that we may get killed at any given moment. If anyone finds out…”

“That’s not happening” Gabe promised.

“And tomorrow night? Are you sure?”

“I just told you! We don’t have any time” Gabe insisted. “They just lost the outpost and if they don’t take action now, they’ll have to retreat. And you killing Derek doesn’t help, either”

Clementine rolled her eyes. Gabe really didn’t know how to focus.

“What was the point of the mission in the first place?” Clementine demanded. “Aren’t you even a little worried about your sister?”

Gabe’s eyes widened.

“Of course I am!” he exclaimed. “But I trust her. I know nothing bad will happen to her. She’s smart. And if they retreat, they’d get caught. This is the closest they’ve ever been to this place! I wouldn’t be able to share information with them if they leave and they wouldn’t even be able to move fast enough on foot”

“Is that what their plan is, then?” Clementine took a step forward. “To get a boat?”

“They’re not retreating!” Gabe repeated. “But even if they were, they’d still need a ship! They’d get caught if they tried to leave walking. And the only way to get a ship would be to take the port” He started pacing around the room. “This would let us get the upper hand! We could communicate better and we’d have a place to hide if things get bad! We could put an end to this!”

Clementine crossed her arms. She wasn’t so sure. So many people could die, or get hurt, and they could find out about them. She might be forced to kill and…

It was either killing more New Frontier people and murdering her allies, or killing Delta soldiers and being further punished.

Her back still ached when it brushed against something. Her clothes were killing her. And she’d gotten lucky.

Who knew what they’d do if she killed someone again? Who knew what they’d do to Gabe and Mari? Who knew what they’d force them to confess? How much they would ruin them?

She glanced at the window and saw the watch tower. No one could see the solider inside. For all they knew, there was no one there. For all they knew, all the watch towers were empty. The mere suggestion that someone _might_ be watching them all the time was enough to make the recruits behave out of fear. To apply the power others exercised on them on themselves and by themselves.

It was not only control over the body, but control over the mind as well.

Wasn’t fear a method of control? Wasn’t being scared just giving up and bending to someone else’s will?

Or was bravery not different from stupid pride? Was standing up any different from doing something that will get your killed simply because you’d rather become a martyr?

“I don’t know” Clementine concluded. “It sounds dangerous”

“We don’t have a choice” Gabe continued. “They already decided everything”

And of course, Gabe wouldn’t make any alternate suggestions.

“So? What do we do?” Clementine sat on the edge of the table. “We just… go with the flow?”

“That’s the other thing I wanted to talk about” Gabe took a seat on the chair again. “Mari told me they need us to take them down from the inside. Sabotage their defenses and shit”

“What if we have to fight?” Clementine insisted. “Do you think I liked killing Derek?”

Gabe didn’t look at her.

“We’d have to avoid getting involved I the actual conflict, I guess” he said. “Maybe take down some Delta soldiers…”

Her back hurt like hell.

“That would only get us in more trouble” she reminded him. “This bedroom they gave me? I’ll be able to find out about all the plans, all the strategies they discuss from there. We can’t miss that chance” she straightened her back. “Besides, I don’t want us getting hurt”

Gabe breathed out.

“That makes sense” he confessed. He sighed. “Okay. The walls of the port are just containers piled in top of each other, right?”

“Those should be easy to climb” Clementine figured.

“Not only that” Gabe said. “They’re hollow. You could probably live inside of them. I think some of the houses there are just containers”

“Do you think you could walk inside?” Clementine asked. Her brain was already forming ideas: doors and tunnels that connected every container, walking the entirety of the wall from the inside of it. Hiding in there.

“That’s the idea” Gabe nodded. He picked a piece of paper and a pencil. He drew a straight line—the shore—and a rectangle against it that represented the wall. Everything inside the rectangle was the port. “There was only one gate, right?” he asked.

Clementine recalled the one time she saw the port. She vaguely remembered a space between the containers, covered only by a chain link fence and a double door on it.

“That’s where they’d expect the attack” she deduced. “I know the New Frontier technique. They… ram the door with a truck full of walkers”

“No need to describe it. I was there” Gabe reminded her. “But yeah. We’ve done that before. That’s what they’ll expect”

“But we’re not doing that” the corner of Clementine’s mouth twitched. A tiny smirk.

Gabe drew a bigger rectangle surrounding the smaller one. The wall, hollow and thick enough to move inside of it. He left a one inch space with only the smaller rectangle protecting the port. The gate.

“They _will_ ram the door with a truck full of walkers” he said. “But that’s not how we’ll enter. One of us is going to guide them inside the wall, and they’ll attack from there. The truck is just a distraction”

He drew a thin line between the two lines of the squares all the way from the gates to the shore.

It was perfect. They’d have enough time to observe the situation before any rash decision, a place to hide, and an easy way out through one of the boats, if they really had to. There were children in the port, and they could easily stay to take care of them during the assault. The New Frontier didn’t hurt children, after all.

“So, one of us guides them inside” Clementine repeated. “And the other one…”

“The other one will have to make sure the distraction works” Gabe continued. “Distract whoever is in charge there. Probably get soldiers out of the port”

“They’ll assume they’ll come through the gate, after the truck” Clementine observed the map. “I can do it”

Gabe looked at her with wide open eyes.

“You sure?” he asked.

“I’m sure. They trust me more. Besides, I’m a better fighter”

Gabe gave her a playful glare.

“Okay, then” he let out a nervous breath. “It’s settled”

“Tomorrow night” Clementine said.

Gabe nodded, and he was about to say something when they heard the door downstairs slam open.

Someone rushing up the stairs.

“Gabriel García!” Someone called.

The two kids immediately ran for the emergency door and the fire escape. They climbed down with their hearts on their throats, and ran.

The workshop was next to the school, so they sprinted down the alleyway between the school and the wall. It was dark and humid and cold.

They’d kill them.

They saw them. They saw them. The saw—

Gabe grabbed her arm.

“I need to leave” He whispered to her.

Clementine shook her head.

“What…?”

“I’ll… I don’t know. I’ll climb the wall or something. I’ll see you tomorrow” He was terrified. He was so terrified he might pass out. “You have to do my part of the plan. Or… see if got out. Please”

He let go of her arm, but Clementine wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

“Be careful” she told him.

He nodded and ran down the alleyway.

Clementine didn’t know how he planned to escape. She just hoped he’d be okay.

She couldn’t lose another friend.

She could hear the soldiers following them. They sounded confused, and their voices and footsteps were moving farther and farther away from her.

Soon, Clementine was left alone in the darkness, in the narrow alleyway between the school building and the wall.

She breathed out.

If they found the radio, they’d only need to talk to Violet to know it was hers. They’d know she was with Gabe. Unless she told him Gabe had stolen it… he wouldn’t come back after all, right? It’d be too dangerous. But who would believe her? After her talk with Violet?

She’d been lucky. She’d had people covering for her since… hell, since the war started. Even before she got involved, that kid had let her go at the McCarroll Ranch… Then Lilly, then Violet had lied and said she’d killed Tom in self defense…

How long would her luck last?

This would definitely be the final straw.

Unless…

She didn’t want to betray Gabe.

But if he was leaving, if he wasn’t coming back…

Not now. She’d give him time to leave.

There was a voice, far from her, but not too much.

She came out of alleyway and into the main street in front of the school. To her left, there were the barracks. To her right, past the armory and the storage building, there was the main building. The voice came from behind it, in the main yard.

People were walking towards it, too. She could easily get lost in the moving mass of soldiers.

She looked down, took off her hat and pulled up her hood.

It was better not to attract attention.

She didn’t lift her head until she reached the main yard.

The council stood in the steps leading to the doors of the main building. A row of armed soldiers kept the people at a safe distance from them.

Andrew was speaking.

“When you come here, a deal is made” he roared. “We give you food. We give you a wall. We give you a warm place to sleep and means to defend yourself”

Minerva stood close to them, with a crossbow in her hands.

Clementine wondered how she could have ever thought she was anything like Sophie.

“We give you a home” Andrew’s voice echoed in the walls and in the buildings and in the skulls of every exhausted silent listener. “This world has declared a war on us. Dead people don’t stay dead and they’ve brought civilization down with them. Call it God’s rage, call it science gone wrong, it doesn’t matter. Our world was ripped away from us. We’ve lost family. We’ve lost the lives we had. We’ve lost everything”

“We’ve all lived like animals for years, surviving in the wild without an aim or a purpose. We were no better than the dead. What did we do, besides walking and eating all day? What did we make of our lives in those first days?” He opened his arms. “We gave you a home. I was part of the founding of this place.  I’ve watched it grow. I’ve watched it bring purpose back into the hearts of men and I’ve watched people call it a beacon of hope for the future of civilization” he chuckled with humility. “I know, I know this is a wild take, but after what Death have done to us… what’s left to do, but to rebuild society? And what a better place that to start than here and now?” he cleared his throat.

“The Delta is home to all man, woman and child looking to bring back what was stolen from us. And I have faith that everyone listening to me tonight feels this in their heart just as much as I do” he adopted a pathetically sad expression. “But we all know that not everyone out there thinks like us. There are those who live like animals, and dress themselves in human skin to walk among the dead. There are those who cheat and kill and steal, all for another box of bullets, another piece of meat, who refuse to work together to build back the world we once knew” People around Clementine watched him with more interest than he deserved. “We can’t understand those people. Some of them are illuminated and change their ways, yes, but the vast majority would kill their mother for a horse to eat”

“Those are the people threatening out home right now. And it breaks my heart to hear about what has happened tonight, in our own home” He observed his people, his subjects, his hostages. “When you come here and we give you a home, all that we ask if that you help defend it from these people. To defend what we’re building. And it’s not just a place! It’s never just a place. But what the place means. I hope everyone here understands what I mean”

He took a step aside, and Lilly, next to him, took a step forward.

“We’ve found someone today sharing information with the enemy” she announced. Several faces turned to shock. A tense murmur extended through the multitude. “His name is Gabriel García, probably the son of Javier García. He came to us willingly and lied about his origins in order to infiltrate into our walls”

Clementine clenched her fists, her nails digging painfully in her palms. She almost prayed.

“We haven’t found him yet, and it’s presumed he left the Delta. However, he was with an unknown companion who is yet to be found” Lilly continued. “Anyone who knows anything about him or her must tell us immediately”

“The upside of this” Andrew intervened. “Is that thanks to Gabriel, we now know their next movement” He looked at Lilly and let her continue.

“They’re planning an attack on our port tomorrow night”

People started talking, uneasy and scared. Someone broke into tears. The noise and the sounds of terror rose and rose until one of the council members—the old man, had to yell to get everyone to be silent.

“We do not know the details of their plan” Lilly continued. “Right now, we need as many people as possible to defend it” there was another tower near the center of the main yard. It was exactly the same as all the other inside towers: dark and maybe empty. How had Clementine missed it? For a moment, she glanced at Lilly and she could have sword their eyes met. “We’ll part in an hour”

Δ

As Clementine entered the port for the first time, she knew the assault would be far more difficult than she thought.

The containers were piled around the port with up to four of them stacked on top of each other rising above her. While on the outside there was only one smooth wall, on the inside the containers against it were more disperse, forming some kind of irregular giant stairs, with ladders to climb on top of them up to the last one and observe the outside. There were only a few spots with only one container between the port grounds and the outside, and the weak door on its side was locked. It was impossible to see from the outside how many containers one would have to go through to get in. She’d somehow have to signal Gabe or Mariana where to go.

Fuck. She’d have to fulfill Gabe’s part of the plan as well.

There were a few buildings, with showers, a shed to store kayaks and a big main house with tables, a kitchen and two bedrooms inside. Several containers around the main house had been modified and turned into houses, with windows and nice doors and rooms and beds, and tiny chimneys, as their heating was based exclusively on firewood. The dock was thin and long, made of wood and metal and forming an awkward curve around the end. The port had once belonged to a nautical club, meant for families that liked kayaks and sailing. Now the dock was occupied by big army ships of varied sizes, and the kayaks and the sailboats had been locked away forever inside some dark wet shed.

Clementine breathed in, and breathed out.

It was still dark (it must be around midnight), and though the streets between the buildings were clean of snow, it was still cold.

There were no clouds. Only stars above her. There would be frost that night. It hadn’t snowed in a few days, and so the snow on the ground was hard and gross.

She was terrified.

Since she’d stayed awake all day, she was sent to sleep with the other children. They pushed all the tables in the main house against the wall and laid their sleeping bags in the ground. The lights were quickly turned off.

Clementine tried to sleep. She really tried to, because she needed to be awake and alert the next day, but her heart beat too fast and her mind kept going back to the same idea over and over again.

What if they caught Gabe? What if they found out about her?

They’d kill them, or worse. She would never see AJ again, and he might not even know what happened to his big sister. They might find them. They might hurt AJ beyond repair, and it would be her fault. They would break his little body and his little mind to the point in which they might not even recognize each other. They would do things to him no one should ever do to a child. They’d turn him into the kind of person that would kill their own sibling. They’d take him from her for real this time. Forever gone.

And now, there was a new worry.

The young, stupid, inappropriate worry that they might do something to Violet because of her. That they might know she was there with Clementine before Clementine talked to Gabe, and somehow they’d connect the dots and punish her for something she hadn’t done.

She rubbed her eyes. It was stupid. Violet wasn’t supposed to be so important. She wasn’t even sure they were friends.

Her back hurt so much. She shifted in her sleeping bag and tried to find a comfortable position. She couldn’t.

Violet was sleeping somewhere else. She hadn’t thought she’d miss sleeping near her, or being able to see her just by cranking her neck a little. But she did miss her, now that she lived I the main building. And there she was, blushing thinking about her.

Enough. She had more important things to think about. It felt almost disrespectful to think about Violet in this way when so much was at risk. Disrespectful to all the people that could die the next night.

After an hour of staying awake, she caught a glimpse of Lilly through the window, keeping guard outside.

What if something went wrong? What if kids got hurt? Or killed?

She didn’t know why she thought it’d be a good idea. She wasn’t even thinking when she stood up, put on her coat and walked through the door.

Maybe she thought she’d feel a little bit better if she talked to Lilly? Lilly, the woman who would kill her if she knew? The one who considered herself her family?

She stood next to her, unarmed. Lilly, with an assault rifle in her hands.

The woman looked at the kid.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

Clementine shrugged and looked at the tips of her boots.

“Can’t sleep” she simply said. She realized then that she hadn’t came up with an excuse to explain the dread she was feeling. So she decided to improvise: “Do you get scared before a battle? Or do you get used to it after a while?”

Lilly sighed and continued to look ahead. In front of them stood the gates of the port. They weren’t simply a chain link fence. It was reinforced with metal planks from the containers, chains and other diverse materials to keep it strong. Lilly was worried it wouldn’t be strong enough and Clementine was worried it would be too strong. She was then reminded that they weren’t friends, or family, or supposed to care about each other. They were enemies. Lilly wanted to kill her, she just didn’t know that yet.

Clementine still didn’t want her to die.

They’d been family once, after all. If Lilly died, there would be no one left from the beginning but her.

“It’s easier to be scared when you have something to lose” Lilly replied after a long moment. “When you’re alone, you don’t really care”

Clementine crossed her arms.

“I know” she agreed. “Everything was so much different before AJ was born. I didn’t have to look after anyone. And now…”

Now he was trapped in a school with people that wanted him dead, people with guns and knives who would decide over his life when Clementine wasn’t there to protect him. He might be already dead, for all she knew. Mitch or Willy could have stabbed him in his sleep out of revenge. Or maybe he got bit because Clementine wasn’t there to keep him safe and no one cared enough to save him.

“I understand” Lilly said. “I was alone for a long time before finding the Delta. It was hard to be in a group again” She shrugged. She looked taller and more imposing in her military jacket. “Guess I’d gotten used to living on my own”

They remained in silence for a moment, looking at the wall. They were keeping watch just in case. The attack wouldn’t be until next night.

“You’re scared” Lilly pointed out.

“I’m terrified” Clementine replied. “I mean… what if something goes wrong? What if the kids get hurt? We can’t let that happen, right?”

Lilly raised an eyebrow and to Clementine’s surprise, she chuckled.

“Should have guessed you’d be worried about the younger soldiers” Lilly said. “I wouldn’t be so scared if I were you” She gestured at the gates. “That’s the only way in. They’ll come through the gates and we’ll shoot them down one by one”

That didn’t comfort Clementine in the slightest, because she knew they weren’t coming in through the gates.

Truly, her only fear was the woman standing next to her. She was what terrified her the most.

Why was she looking for comfort in the woman that would kill her some day?

“I was friends with Gabe” Clementine suddenly said. She needed to talk about him. “I didn’t know he was a spy. I had no idea. I swear” She bit down her lip. “I can’t believe he betrayed us like that”

Lilly gave her a sympathetic look.

“It’s important that you don’t forget what we’re fighting for, Clementine” Lilly reminded her. “We are your family now. Gabriel was given a choice. The consequences are on him”

Clementine wiped away a fake tear and nodded her head.

“He told me to help him with the radio he used. Lilly, I swear I didn’t know what it was for” she lied. “I wish I hadn’t helped him. I really do”

“What did he tell you it was for?” Lilly inquired.

“I don’t know. I thought we were experimenting. We were trying to see if we could make it work again. I didn’t know he was actually planning on using it”

Gabe was gone. He was back with Mariana and their people. He wouldn’t face the consequences of his actions.

But Clementine might. So she had to cover for herself.

“We’ll run an investigation later” Lilly simply told her.

Clementine nodded despite how terrified she was.

After a moment, Lilly added:

“Tomorrow, you’ll stay in a ship, looking after the younger kids. There will be someone there to take them somewhere safe if things go wrong”

Clementine’s eyes opened wide.

Excuse her?

“Are you trying to protect me?” Clementine hesitantly teased. She tried to keep a more carefree attitude despite being terrified inside.

“I’m putting you in charge of the kids” Lilly corrected her with a hard tone of voice. “You will stay on the ship and make sure to only bring them out if we give you the sign”

So Lilly wanted her to stay where they keep the kids safe.

“Lilly” Clementine said. “Do you still care about me? Like… back at the Motor Inn?”

Lilly looked at her as if she had just grown a second head.

“You’re a part of the Delta now” She said. “Of course I care about you” And after a second, she added: “You were right. We were family once”

_Family._

Was Lilly truly her family?

Of course she wasn’t!

She had once been, but if she could be honest and true for five minutes, she would never call Lilly her family.

But maybe, they could still be family again.

A deep breath. This was dangerous.

“I know you kidnap people” Clementine said. “To fight. And I know you hurt people as well” She turned to her. “Why do you do it?”

Lilly turned to face her.

“Wouldn’t you do anything for your brother?” She asked.

Clementine nodded.

“Of course” She replied. “I’ve done… terrible things to keep him safe”

“And that’s exactly what I’m doing here” Lilly continued. “Do you think I like doing this? Do you think I enjoy it?” She shook her head. “Have you counted how many people we’ve brought here?”

No. Clementine hadn’t. She’d seen around four carts going from the Delta to the port, but that was it.

She looked inside the main house through a window. Six children sleeping, plus herself. The only adults she knew there were Lilly, Dorian and one of the council members. After them…

She looked around and counted.

They were twenty people in total.

“We brought twenty people to protect one of our most valued places” Lilly said. “That’s all we can afford. We don’t have soldiers to defend our home, Clementine” She took a step forward. “Before we resorted to this, we looked for every solution, every other option we could come up with” She looked tired and defeated, so unlike Lilly. “This is not what we wanted”

Clementine simply looked at Lilly.

She’d done bad things, too. She’d killed people who didn’t deserve it.

You couldn’t box people as “good” or “bad” anymore. She wasn’t good. She knew she wasn’t good. But she was reluctant to call herself bad, either. And she knew Lilly was in the same middle ground as her.

If only…

“Do you think there’s a way we could stop it?” Clementine suggested. “Isn’t there an alternative? We don’t need to use force”

Lilly shook her head.

“We always try to convince the group to join us first” Lilly explained. “But when that doesn’t work…”

She didn’t finish the sentence, as if she was ashamed of saying it out loud.

Clementine didn’t know how to feel.

“It’s the things we do to survive, Clementine” Lilly said. “What we do to protect the ones we love”

When Clementine went to sleep after her talk with Lilly, she had a new idea in mind. A third person to save.

Δ

She always got this feeling before a storm, like chill settling in her skin, her stomach growing cold. It happened when she was scared, too.

She spent the entirety of the next day patrolling the port and exploring all the possible ways to sneak her allies inside.

She found two spaces in which the wall was only one container thin, but in only one of these there was a container with a door on its side. It was easy to force it open while no one was watching, but she left it closed and unlocked, so it wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

She sneaked inside the main house while everyone was outside, getting ready for the attack. Most guns they’d be using were waiting in the tables. The soldiers had decided to stick with handguns and crossbows for the day and keep the rifles for the attack at night. The bullet boxes were piled up next to them.

She made sure there was no one around and then carried the boxes and the bullets she had taken from the guns outside, where a blue plastic barrel was filled with water. She opened the boxes and let the bullets fall on the water in silence.

The water would leak inside its internal mechanism and ruin the powder, rendering them useless. She waited for about an hour, keeping watch over the barrel and making sure no one came around, and then took out the bullets and let them dry. She placed them inside he boxes one by one, and then carefully closed them so it would look like they were never open in the first place.

She’d just taken down their main line of defense. This was going to get people killed. She tried to comfort herself by telling herself Violet (and yes, Minnie as well) didn’t work with bullets.

No news from Gabe, thank god. Every time she heard about Gabe still being missing she allowed herself to relax more and more. He was with his people. He was okay. She just hoped he wouldn’t come to the assault that night.

That night. That night, the New Frontier was going to capture the port and Clementine was going to help them win.

She loosed the screws that held the main gates together. She broke the spikes on the dirt road that led to the port, which the soldiers had placed to destroy the wheels of the truck. She changed the flashlight batteries for old, uncharged ones. She was breaking the internal organism of this place. She just hoped it was the right thing to do. She hoped she’d live to see her little brother again.

She’d gone through more dangerous situations. Most people didn’t even want to kill her. She was okay.

But Lilly was right. It was easier to be scared when you had something to lose.

And she was scared for AJ. Even though she knew AJ was safe at Ericson, she still feared. Combined with her daily worry of what Mitch could do to him, she was scared of the Delta finding him. Of the New Frontier turning their backs on them for some reason and killing him. Of him simply getting hurt and somehow it being her fault.

Her anxiety hadn’t allowed her a full night of sleep.

She hadn’t seen Violet a lot that day, and she mentally kicked herself for looking forward with so much anticipation to the next time she saw her. She spotted her walking down the dock, chatting with Alex, and later she caught a glimpse of her in the kitchen of the main house, but Violet didn’t seem to notice her.

Nope. No thinking about her. There was an attack in progress and people depended on her.

The wall formed a rectangle against the river, much like the one Gabe had drawn, and it ended right on the shore. You could easily swim around it and get inside, if you could survive hypothermia and get past the two tall watch towers in both ends of the wall. Each tower had several people (Clementine only got to see two snipers in each one). If they could see someone swimming around the wall, they would most likely see people breaking through it.

Thank god the truck full of walkers was a good enough distraction. Everyone would be looking at the gates.

Clementine didn’t take the risk exploring the inside of the wall. She just hoped Gabe’s descriptions were accurate enough.

The sun was setting. It would only be a few more hours before it started.

She was nervous. And scared. And uneasy. And someone noticed, of course.

She’d had climbed the ladders to the top of the wall and observed the forest with her binoculars, trying to stop any movement, listening for the sound of engines. Nothing.

“You okay up there?”

She almost dropped the binoculars.

Violet climbed on top of the wall with her, with her loyal bow.

“Hey” Clementine greeted her.

She was wearing a different jacket, a green one that didn’t look very warm, but allowed for more mobility.

She looked pretty. Even when prepared for battle. But she didn’t look brave, or intimidating, or ready to fight. She looked small and scared, like the kid she was.

She sat down on the container, with her knees pulled close to her chest, her arms loose around them.

“I just wanted to say…” She glanced at Clementine, but quickly looked away. “I’m sorry about Gabe. I know he was your friend”

Oh.

Clementine sat down next to her.

She really didn’t know what to say.

It was then that she noticed the wall between her and Violet. How hadn’t she seen it before? How could she crush on her with the distance that separated them? Violet still thought she was someone she was not. Violet didn’t _know_ her. And if Violet didn’t know her, then she couldn’t know Violet. They were truly complete strangers to each other and Clementine didn’t know what to say.

“I didn’t know he was with them” Clementine managed to say, because she couldn’t think of anything better.

She truly wanted to scream. To cry. To run after him and make sure her only friend in the Delta was okay.

She wanted to tell Violet everything. She wanted Violet to understand, to know her family was looking for her.

Violet shrugged, but it didn’t look dismissive. It looked anxious.

“How do you feel about it?” She asked.

“About Gabe?” Clementine bit her lip. “I mean, I don’t like this place, but the New Frontier is just as bad if not worse. I can’t believe he’s one of them”

She lied. And with every lie she told, she walked further and further away from Violet.

It wasn’t only a lie. It was being someone else. She didn’t hate the New Frontier. She didn’t think they were worse than the Delta and she wanted Violet to know this. She wanted her to know her, and she wanted to know Violet in return.

Violet looked down.

“Everything is so fucked” She spat.

Clementine couldn’t help but draw a sad smile.

“It is” She agreed.

“He wasn’t… shit. He was _so annoying_ , but…” She shook her head. “Fuck”

Clementine thought she knew what she meant.

“He doesn’t deserve what they’ll do to him” She finished Violet’s sentence.

Violet shrugged again. Her movements were tense.

So, she was concerned about Gabe.

“I wish we could…” Violet didn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t know. I hate this”

And with immense love for freedom and bravery for what was coming next, Clementine inched closer to her, only a few centimeters, and said out loud:

“You want to leave”

Violet rapidly shook her head, so furiously it looked as if she’d just received an electric shock.

“I can’t leave, Clem” She said. “Here I have Minnie, and my friends, and we wouldn’t last a day before they found us”

Clementine opened her mouth to say something, to tell Violet to convince Minnie and her friends to go with them, to tell her everything. But then Violet interrupted her:

“Do you really want to leave?”

She asked this with a string of voice, hesitantly and with fear. She was forever haunted by fear.

Clementine observed her, slowly stood up and took a step back.

“Because if you do…” Violet said. She swallowed hard. “You know I’d have to tell someone”

This wasn’t Violet. Clementine might not know her that well, but Violet wasn’t…

Wasn’t, how?

There were stars above her.

She tilted her head slightly to look at them. Without the streetlights from the Delta, the Milky Way was visible, running above their heads with millions and millions of little fires flickering and twinkling in the darkness.

There were so many constellations. So many.

Violet was looking at them, too. Her one eye was wide open and curious and full of wonder.

Violet wasn’t made to be kept tied to the ground.

“I know you’re braver than that” Clementine said after a long moment. “I know you’re strong”

Violet chuckled weakly.

“This is my home, Clem” She looked down, to the ground. The stars were still there, she just chose not to see them. She was too scared to. Clementine continued to stare into the horizon and observe the point in which the darkness of the forest gave way to the darkness of the sky. “I can’t… I can’t leave” She bit down her lip. Clementine looked at her now. “We already tried”

Clementine faked surprise. Honesty to lies to honesty, and back to lying again.

“You did?” She asked.

“It’s stupid. It doesn’t matter”

She looked small. She was still a kid.

Still a kid.

They were never supposed to find themselves in this world.

Clementine took a seat next to her with polite caution.

“What happened?” She asked.

Violet shrugged a third time.  Clementine worried she’d just tell her it was none of her business. Not because that would mean Violet wouldn’t tell her anything, but because she would had stepped past an unspoken boundary and hurt her.

Remembering hurts.

“We…” Violet started. “When I came here, it wasn’t just Minnie and I. Her sister, Sophie, was taken with us” She looked away. “We tried to escape, about eight months later. Sophie…” She gave a wet chuckle. “She was something else. She always talked back. Always refuse to cooperate. She gave Lilly so much hell” She smiled. Her smile was sad and melancholic. “And I thought she was so brave. Minnie and I were scared, but I always thought she’d be the one to save us all. Guess I admired her a lot” She shook her head with a grimace. “I don’t know why I never told her that. I should have told her how much I wanted to be like her. I thought she was our beacon of hope or whatever”

Clementine listened patiently and watched her. Yes, this was the Sophie she knew. Brave and a little reckless, and the one that would save them all.

And this was Violet, being honest, for a moment, only a moment. And telling Clementine how brave she truly wanted to be.

“Then one day…” Violet continued. “She did it. She convinced us to get out while no one was watching” She looked at Clementine in the eye. “We didn’t get past the bridge” She bit her lip and hugged her knees. “Minnie didn’t want to go. She only agreed because I sided with Sophie. I shouldn’t have followed her, because once we got to the bridge…” she blinked. Clementine didn’t say anything. It was silent in the night. “We killed her”

Clementine almost fell off the wall. Her mind gave a slip to the side and she had to hold on to the edge so tightly her knuckled turned white. Her stomach dropped. Her brain hurt from the whiplash from Violet’s last three words.

Eyes wide open. Mouth wide open in astonishment, too.

It was a stupid reaction, because she damn well knew Sophie was alive. But Violet still made it sound like she wasn’t.

_“We killed her”_

Violet…?

“You… what?”

_“We”_

Sophie had said—!

“Minnie pulled a knife she had hidden under her jacket” Violet explained. “And I just… watched, from feet away, while she stabbed her” A deep breath. “After she was done, she dropped her body on the river” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “All because I insisted on running away. Or because I didn’t do anything to stop Minnie” She looked at Clementine. “They gave us a room in the main building after that, as a reward for our loyalty. I was sent back to the barracks a few months later, but Minnie stayed there” She shrugged a fourth and last time. She didn’t look at the sky, despite how beautiful it was. The stars were lovely that night. She looked at the ground, while Clementine couldn’t tear her eyes away from above. “You must hate me now”

Clementine shook her head.

“I don’t hate you” she promised. “I really don’t. Vi, you… you didn’t kill her. You didn’t attack her”

“But I let it happen” she countered. “None of this would have happened if only I had stopped one of them. This is all my fault”

“It’s not” Clementine insisted. “Listen, I don’t know what they’ve been telling you, but that’s not how murder works”

Violet shook her head.

“Why are you comforting me?” She suddenly asked. “Why are you wasting your time with me?”

Clementine blinked. That was the most absurd question she had ever heard.

“Because I want to be with you” she didn’t intend it to come off that cheesy. “I like being with you”

“Bullshit” Violet stood up. “I’m a fucking mess. You must have more important things to do now”

Clementine glanced at the forest below her.

“I’m just keeping watch” she argued. “You’re not a mess”

“Yeah, sure” she scoffed. “I was sent to a school for troubled youth. And when they got sick of me, they sent me here” Her voice was angry, but also weak. “Now, I just keep getting in trouble”

“What do you even mean when you say trouble?” Clementine asked. “What did you do?”

“Besides killing my friend, you mean?” She snapped. “Besides the time I let two recruits go? When I let Alex into the barracks and got him hurt?”

“Is that why everyone calls you a troublemaker?” Clementine questioned. It didn’t sound like enough. Not at all.

“Whatever” Violet huffed and threw her hands into the air. “It’s stupid”

Clementine stood up.

“Honestly, it sounds like they’re just trying to make you feel bad about yourself”

“They don’t need to try” Violet retorted. She breathed in. “If you want to leave, leave me out of it” she told Clementine. “I’m… I’m lucky Minnie still wants me. Everyone leaves, sooner or later. Family, friends… But Minnie didn’t. She always stuck with me, no matter what. Even if I’m… not really worth it” She looked away. “I won’t blame you for leaving, you know. I understand if this is not the people you want to die for” She crossed her arms. “Besides, it’s not like I have anywhere else to go. If I go back to where I lived before, they’ll kill me on sight”

And Clementine stared at her. At her green eye, so tired and so full of sadness, and the hideous eye patch, gift from Minerva, that begged to paint her pain in the colors of martyrdom and glory, war heroism. Her short hair, covering her face, her slouched posture. The way she clenched her fists, the way she seemed to make herself smaller and smaller, until she disappeared. Until she could escape this torture, this abuse, this inhumane cruelty no child should ever go through.

Oh, Violet…

She needed to know. In that moment, Clementine wanted to tell her everything. Absolutely everything. She wanted to tell her that Sophie was alive, that she still loved her dearly even after all that  happened, that she didn’t blame her, that her family was still looking for her, that there were people out there who loved her far more than Minerva even had and ever would. That she was not a murderer. That she was infinitely loved. That the stars were beautiful that night, almost as beautiful as she was. That Clementine had walked into the mouth of the wolf for her. That everything she did, she did it to take her home. That she was worth all the constellations in the sky and more. That her family thought she was worth everything. Everything they were doing, they did it not out of fear or out of danger, but out of love. That her family wanted her, despite years and years, despite not knowing if she was alive or not, despite fighting in a war, because nothing else mattered when their Violet was missing and in danger, mistreated and hurt and beaten and mutilated and still, still loved.

Clementine wanted to tell her this and much more. Violet was being honest, more honest, open and vulnerable than she had ever been, and the least Clementine could do was to be honest in return. To reassure her that wasn’t true. Dear god, it wasn’t true at all and Violet deserved to know this more than anyone.

But a voice roared behind them in that moment.

“Clementine!” Lilly called her. “Come here”

Clementine exchanged one last look with Violet. She looked disappointed, and Clementine wanted to hold her hand in that moment.

She didn’t, though, because she still had a plan with Gabe and Mariana and she still had a war to fight.

She climbed down the ladders and walked up to where Lilly was.

“We were informed of activity a few miles away” Lilly told her. “They should be here soon”

Clementine nodded.

“Is everyone ready?”

“That’s what I was about to check” Lilly replied. “Go to the boat, with the kids. _Do not_ move without a signal. Do not let them out, and do not leave” She commanded. She fished a walkie talkie out of a pocket of her jacket and handed it to Clementine. “We’ll tell you through the radio. Now go”

Lilly turned around to walk away, but Clementine grabbed her arm.

“Lilly, wait” she stopped her. Why did she stop her?

Lilly gave her an inquisitive look.

“What?” She asked.

What did Clementine want to say?

“Be careful”

She discovered she didn’t want Lilly to die.

Despite everything, despite everything…

Lilly nodded.

“I will” She reassured her. “You too”

Clementine raced to the dock. It was a scrappy construction, made of wood and reinforced with metal obtained from the containers. The wood was half rotten and if she wasn’t careful, one of the planks may break under her feet.

Because Lilly wasn’t a bad person, was she? She did… terrible, terrible things for what she loved, just like Clementine, so who was she to judge her? And if she was really doing what she was doing because there was no other way... then perhaps Clementine could do something. Perhaps she could talk to her. Convince her. Find a solution that left everyone safe and happy.

Would that be possible? To have the old Lilly back? To have a piece of her first home back?

Once she was away from the few streetlights from the shore, the dock was eerily dark, and eerily silent, save from the light and the murmur of the torches lighting the path. It was only three of them, standing on metal poles of about five feet tall on the edges of the dock. Three torches to light the entire way to the end of the pier. The space between them was of pure black and quiet like the falling snow. Only the sound of the river filled her ears as she walked from torch to torch.

It was so dark, she almost didn’t see the person walking in her direction.

Tall (so tall), muscular, armed to kill. She only distinguished Minerva’s silhouette when she passed by the last torch.

To Clementine’s surprise, she stopped when she was right in front of her. Clementine stopped, too.

She glared at the redhead giant in front of her. She knew what she did to Violet.

“You’re Clementine” Minerva hissed. “You’re the new recruit, aren’t you?”

Clementine crossed her arms.

“I’ve been here for more than a month” She said.

“I don’t care” Minerva stopped her. “You were friends with that Gabriel guy”

A step back.

“I didn’t know what he was doing, okay?” Clementine felt like she was explaining herself to a teacher, justifying her behavior as a little kid to a judgmental adult. It was humiliating. “He lied to me just like he lied to everyone else”

“That’s now what I want to talk about” The red giant said. “This is about Violet”

Clementine raised an eyebrow and tried not to let her surprise show.

“What about Violet?” She asked.

“She’s been acting strange since you showed up” She said. “I don’t know what you’re telling her, but stop it” She took a step towards her. “I’ve lost too many people and I’m not losing her too. If you’re filling her head with lies…”

“I’m sure Violet can think for herself” Clementine countered. “I’m not filling her head with anything”

“She’s not as smart as she looks” Minerva said, and her words made Clementine want to punch her, because Violet was very smart. “You were friends with a spy. That makes you a suspect, but no one will do anything because you’re friends with Lilly”

“What’s your point?”

Minerva could throw her off the docks so easily. The water was deep this far from the shore, and the pier was very thin, not even five feet wide.

“She’s already caused enough trouble” She said. “If you’re trying to make her fight back, or put herself in danger…”

“Minerva!” A voice called from behind Clementine.

Minerva swallowed her last words and glared at Clementine one last time.

“Yes, ma’am?” She said.

“Get your ass over here” a woman said.

Clementine didn’t bother to turn around and see who it was. She just bit back her smirk as Minerva angrily walked past her, pushing her shoulder in the act, and followed the other woman down the dock and back to the shore.

Was this really Sophie’s sister? Was this her twin? Was this the person she was fighting so hard to bring back home?

Clementine walked towards the boat Lilly had previously told her, the smallest one. One of the only sailboats, too. It was about 30 feet long. In the stern, there was a small open area with the steering wheel and a seat in a square U shape around it, for people to sit, connected to the side deck that bordered the whole boat, protected only by a fragile railing. And in the space of the U, between the seats, there was a series of stairs that led to the cabin under the deck.

Clementine wouldn’t have paid any attention for it if it wasn’t for the kid sitting by the steering wheel.

“Hi, Clem” Alex said. “I didn’t know you were here”

“Don’t get too excited” Clementine told him. “I was sent to babysit you”

“Good. We could use some babysitting” Alex chuckled. “Everyone down there is scared” He gestured to the door at the end of the stairs, to enter the cabin. There weren’t kids crying or talking. They were just quiet. The sound of the movement of the ship, the creaking of it, the running of the river and the soft flapping of the sails in the breeze filled the cold air.

It was so peaceful, she couldn’t believe they were fighting a battle in a few minutes.

Alex helped her get on top of the boat. No ladder, no nothing. She had to jump over the space between the pier and the boat and over the railing just to get to the side deck.

“You don’t really have to go inside if you don’t want” Alex said. “That’s why I’m here. Being with so many people makes me anxious”

“I understand” Clementine told her. “I’m anxious too”

“I just feel better when I’m alone” He looked at her. “Not that I’m kicking you out! You can stay if you want. You’re cool”

“Oh, I’m cool?” Clementine joked.

“I mean, Violet likes you, and Violet is cool. So you must be cool”

“I’m glad to hear”

_Violet liked her._

That sentence alone shouldn’t make her feel _anything_ , especially in a situation like this one.

“I’m surprised she opened up to you so quickly” he added. “She was worried sick the first day you were gone. You know, living in the main building”

Clementine’s head perked up.

“She was?” She asked. Did she sound too excited?

It was so silent, so quiet and calm in the boat, in the river.

An idea sparked in her mind.

They kept… what? Six? Seven kids in that boat? Could she convince Violet to help her…?

Alex nodded.

“She’s been through a lot” he said. “I didn’t think she’d trust you so easily” He looked at her with big eyes. “You must be good for her”

Clementine smiled and looked away, trying to hide her blush. She doubted Alex could see anything in the darkness, but it was an instinctual impulse.

She felt a pang of guilt, too. Violet trusted her without really knowing who she was. It wasn’t fair for her. Violet deserved to know who she was putting her trust in.

Clementine glanced at the lights by the shore. She couldn’t see Violet, but she knew she was there.

Perhaps after the port was taken…

“Wait” Alex said. “You like her!” He immediately stood on top of his seat. “You have a crush on Violet!”

“I do _not_!” Clementine huffed.                        

“Yes, you do!” He giggled. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone”

Clementine playfully rolled her eyes, but he couldn’t help but notice how fast her heart beat hot blood up her neck and to her cheeks and ears.

She’d have to leave soon, to take a glimpse outside and try to find Mariana. She wanted to believe Gabe was with her, but truth was that she didn’t know. And if she didn’t know, she couldn’t risk the plan just because of what the wanted to believe.

She would have to guide them inside. She could do it. She just wished she didn’t have to. They already knew Gabe was a spy. If they didn’t catch him, then he didn’t have anything to lose. Clementine still did.

“I…” Alex suddenly said. “I’m a little scared”

Clem turned her head to him again.

“I’m scared too” She said. “It’s okay to be scared”

She felt as if she was talking to AJ. She missed him so much.

“it’s just… I know they don’t hurt kids, but what if they change their minds? What if they hurt someone we care about?” He insisted. “What if we lose and they take the port? We can’t win the war without the port”

Oh?

“How so?” Clementine inquired.

“Well, we can’t communicate with all the settlements on time. And we’d be slower. And we can’t recruit more people. We’ll barely be able to fish, or cover enough ground” He pat the steering wheel of the sailboat. “This is our main transport method. Besides, they’d be to close. And they’d have our ships! They could attack in any moment! They could take all the other settlements…!” He rubbed his eyes. “We _can’t_ lose this place. They’ll kill everyone! And take everything we have! Even if they don’t kill children— we’ll all die if we lose”

Clementine observed Alex and listened to his anxious rant with immense sadness. She wanted to take his shoulders and tell him that was not going to happen, that the new leader of the New Frontier was good, and kind, and a father, and that he’d never do that to them. But she couldn’t. So she just watched the terrified kid and sympathized with his fear.

“This is the first good home I had in a long time” he continued. “And I don’t want to lose another family!”

“Hey” Clementine said. “That’s not gonna happen”

“It always happens!” He cried. “First pirates killed my dad and my brother Greg. Then we went to a new place, and I thought everything was okay! But then another group of raiders with walker skin came and they killed my sister and her friend” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. He stared at the tips of this boots. “And then my brother Jamie and I came here, and we were good! We were never hungry and we were comfortable” He pressed his lips together and raised his head. “Then these raiders killed him!” He exclaimed. “They always kill everyone”

He wiped a single tear away. Clementine understood. Yes, she understood completely. She’d lost many families, too.

She put a hand on his shoulder. He covered his face with his hands.

“It’s not fair” came his muffled voice. “I don’t want anyone else to die”

“I don’t want that either” Clem reassured him. “Look, no one is going to die tonight. I promise”

“How can you know?” He raised his head. “It always happens”

“Not always” Clementine corrected him. “They’re not going to kill you, or anyone you care about. You have to trust me”

He looked at her _without an ounce_ of trust or belief. He looked familiar.

He sighed. He was so young and so full of pain.

Then it hit her.

This was the boy she had met at the train station. The one she had insisted he ran and hid. His missing pinky was her fault.

“I need to be alone now” He said. “You’re still cool. But I need a moment”

Clementine smiled sadly. Full of guilt. She told him to run, and because of her they had punished him.

“I understand” she said. She managed to jump back to the pier. “I need to check something. Do you think you’ll be okay there?”

“Yeah” he replied. “We got this”

“Lilly said there would be… a boat driver, in case something goes wrong” She cringed at her choice of words.

Alex chuckled wetly.

“That’s me” He said. “I drive boats”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“You do?” She asked.

“I’ve been driving boats since I was seven. I know how to do it” He reassured her. “This is _my_ sailboat. My brother and I were traveling on it when we found this place”

Clementine blinked. That was… impressive.

“Well, I trust you” Clementine replied. “Stay safe”

She immediately started walking down the dock. She’d tell Lilly, or anyone who questioned her, that the kids were anxious and they had asked her to check how things were going.

The boy had seen her. He knew her. He didn’t seem to remember, but what would it take to refresh his memory?

Luckily, everyone was too busy guarding the door, or watching from the top of the wall, or behind a building. No one saw her when she sneaked behind a container that covered the little gate from sight. No one heard her when the door creaked open, its thin metal rusted with the years, and no one stopped her when she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

She picked her flashlight from her pocket and turned it on.

Gabe was right. The container was mostly empty, except for some broken pieces of furniture and a few boxes. The big gates at both extremes had been removed, as well as the gates of the containers against it, so when she raised her flashlight, it illuminated a long metallic tunnel that extended until the light of her flashlight died. There was a thin ladder that led to a rectangular hole in the roof, a sort of hatch door without the door to cover it. She cautiously climbed the ladder and peaked through the second tunnel, equal to the first one. She was sure there were at least two other levels of tunnels, more doors that led to the roofs of other containers as a sort of balcony, and hatches that gave way to the top of the wall, where she had talked to Violet.

She was inside the wall.

She climbed down and sighed. There wasn’t another door in the same container, so she walked down the tunnel in hopes of finding another one. She walked in the direction of the shore, away from the gate, least anyone noticed something. If she didn’t find any doors, she’d have to open the final gate of the last container, the one at the extreme of it, and let them in through it.

The last container was over water. They’d have to swim to get there.

Okay. Okay. She got it.

She walked, and walked, and walked. It was dark and the whole tunnel smelled like metal, rot and rust. The cold light of her flashlight flickered tiredly and the sound of her feet echoed louder than she wanted them to.

The tunnel was longer than she thought. Or maybe she was walking slower than it seemed.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Would Sophie hate her if she left Minnie there? If she took Violet and only brought _her_ back? Yes, she would. She loved her sister, despite what she’d done to her. She couldn’t just _abandon_ Minerva, could she? Sophie would never forgive her if she did.

But Minerva… she wasn’t like Sophie or Violet. There was something wrong about her.

Clementine had heard her fight with Violet weeks before, when they went to take Carson back.

Minerva didn’t read the words of a script when she said that the Delta was her home. Minerva meant it.

What did it take? What can you do to a child to break her this way? What mental torture did they put her through to make her forget who her family was?

At this point, Clementine just hoped Violet wasn’t so far gone.

She finally reached the end of the tunnel, and she found no doors. The only way out was through the big gates at the end of the tunnel. They were old and the lock was broken.

She pressed her entire weight against it. It creaked and complained but after struggling with the broken lock mechanism, Clementine managed to force it open.

She didn’t open the doors wide. She instead peaked through the thin space between them to observe her surroundings.

The dock was farther than she thought, and it was so dark, she’d be completely blind if it wasn’t for the half moon and her old flashlight. No one should be able to see her.

Below her, only water. Most of the container was standing on land, but the end of it hung above the river. She pointed her flashlight at the water. It wasn’t as dirty as one would expect, and she confirmed there were no walkers near.

Her plan quickly took shape in her head. She’d have to swim towards her right, to the outside of the wall, and then find Mariana and the rest in the forest.

She remembered what it was like to freeze. She’d watched a dear friend be dragged down into the depths by a walker, before she was pulled up to the surface by the neck of her blue rainbow jacket.

She’d almost died.

Her skin felt cold. Everything felt cold.

She couldn’t do it.

But if she didn’t do it, they might not be able to take the port. Could she just _trust_ that Gabe had made it out and was going to fulfill his part of the plan on his own?

For AJ. She did everything for AJ.

She took off her hat, her coat, her jacket and her socks, leaving only her boots, pants and shirt. She couldn’t get her warm clothes wet.

Breathe in, breathe out.

She jumped.

She didn’t feel the cold immediately. She felt okay, for only a second under water.

Then it hit her. And her entire body burned with ice. The memory jumped to the front of her mind. Luke drowning. Her freezing, freezing… her lips were blue. Kenny had been so angry.

It was so cold.

She forced her numb arms to move. To propel her farther into the water, away from the shore and away from the wall.

She kicked her legs. Something grabbed her, but she quickly left it behind.

She couldn’t breathe.

She forced her head out of the water. It burned. It burned.

She took in a deep breath and looked back. The wall was almost seventy feet behind.

How had she left it behind so quickly?                                                             

She kept swimming. Just to be sure. Farther and farther. After a while, her body stopped burning. It was just numb. Her system would start to shut down, her brain would stop working and her heart would stop beating.

She finally made it to the shore. The snow burned. The water burned. The air burned. Everything burned and she couldn’t even feel her hands.

She crawled out of the water. There was movement somewhere ahead.

She was shaking like a leaf.

She forced herself to walk. Her boots were wet, but she barely felt the cold anymore.

Someone saw her. Someone called her name.

A pair of arms helped her stand and guided her towards the fire.

“You made it!”

She nodded weakly.

“Should have left her there” Someone grumbled.

“Shut up” The familiar voice scolded. “Clem, I’m gonna pour warm water on you now, okay?”

Clementine was too confused to respond, but then warm water was poured from a cup on her head, her neck, her back. She sighed at the pleasant feeling. She could feel her soul slowly returning to her body.

Mariana handed her a towel and Clementine wrapped herself with it. It protected her from the cold air.

She raised her head and looked around. A group of tough looking New Frontier warriors stared at her with contempt.

“You should have left her on the shore” The older woman repeated.

Mariana glared at her.

“Not now”

“For fuck’s sake” A man snarled. “She killed Derek and kicked us out of Carson. She’s one of them now, don’t you see?”

“If she was one of them, she wouldn’t have come here” Mariana countered.

“Or maybe she’s leading us straight into the mouth of the wolf” Someone else supplied.

“I’m not” Clementine intervened. “I didn’t mean to shoot Derek, I swear” she said. “I… I freaked out and he got caught in the crossfire. I didn’t want to kill him”

It was about twenty people. Ten less than when they first met up in Ericson. Their cars were parked around their little camp, with tents and mattresses on the beds of the pickup trucks. People sat in the roofs of their cars, in their beds, peaked through the entrance of the tents or sat around the fire, all dressed in simple, normal winter clothes. They had assault rifles, hunting rifles, handguns, a few shotguns and some crossbows.

They were ready to fight.

And Gabe was nowhere to be seen.

Clementine turned to Mariana.

“Have you seen Gabe?”

Mariana shook her head.

“Why?” She asked. “What happened”

Clementine breathe out.

Okay. Okay. This didn’t mean they had caught him. Maybe he was looking for them in the forest, and they’d run into each other and everything would be okay.

But Mariana deserved to know.

“They found out about him” she said. Mariana’s eyes opened wide with horror. The others took a step back in surprise. “When we talked to you. I don’t know how. We ran and he told me he’d go find you. They still don’t know I work with you guys”

“Well aren’t you a great fucking ally. Spy of the year” someone snickered.

“Just… stop that” Mariana asked through gritted teeth. She sat down next to Clementine, on a log. “Clem, is this true…?”

“It is” Clementine confirmed. “As far as I know, they haven’t caught him yet”

Mariana looked down.

“I can’t believe this” she mumbled. “God, Gaby…”

“We don’t know if he’s been caught” Clementine tried to comfort her. “I’m sure he’s looking for you right now”

Mariana straightened her back.

“You’re right” she said weakly. “We’ll find him soon”

“And that’s why we have to take this shithole port” A woman said. Her hair was so short one could think she was bald if it was a little bit darker. “We take this place, we win the war and get this over with”

“They have watch towers on both sides” Clementine said. “Everyone expects you to enter through the gates, but if you go anywhere near the wall, they’ll see you. Even with the truck as a distraction. That’s why I had to swim so far”

“Easy” An old lady said. “We take them down from a distance. We have crossbows”

“If we do that, we need to get inside fast. They’ll notice right away” the short haired woman said.

“I can lead you inside” Clementine said. “There’s a whole series of tunnels inside the wall”

Mariana nodded.

“How many people are there?”

Clementine tried to mentally recall the number of soldiers inside.

“Can’t be more than thirty” she said. She turned to the short haired woman, who seemed to be the one in charge. “What do have to do to take the port?”

“Ideally, to have them surrender” she explained. “So, killing as many people as possible. We can tie up the survivors and lock them in inside of one of these container things”

“About eight of them are kids” Clementine continued. “They’re on a boat on the dock”

“Don’t worry about them” the woman reassured her. “We don’t kill kids”

“But they can kill _you_ ” Clementine reminded her. “They’re trained to be soldiers, but they were given orders to leave if things get bad”

“Do they listen to you?” Mariana asked. “You could just tell them to leave. That would make everything easier”

Clementine nodded.

“I’ll try”

They gave her a new jacket and a gun with a silencer. Everyone picked their guns from the cars and the trucks and packed up the few tents. The air was tense and anxious.

“You okay?” She asked Mariana as she checked he rifle.

Mariana took a moment to reply.

“I’m worried about Gaby” she said. “Last time I saw him face to face we were fighting. I don’t want that to the last memory I have of him”

Clem put a hand on her shoulder.

“You’ll see him again” she said. “I promise”

Mariana smiled, but it was sad and forced and scared.

“There’s something else” she said. She grabbed a walkie talkie out of her pocket. “It’s encrypted and long range. No one can pick up the signal and understand” she extended her hand and Clementine reluctantly grabbed it. “It’s yours”

It looked like a normal walkie talkie, made of black plastic. The only difference was the lid on the back, which seemed to have been forcefully removed and then reattached with screws a little too big.

“Are you serious?” she asked.

Mariana nodded.

“Marie just figured out how to make them” she looked at the old lady that had been talking before. “And she taught everyone, so we’ll have a lot of these very soon. I just think you need it more than us right now” She showed a second walkie talkie that looked exactly the same. “Here’s the other one”

“And I can only contact that one?”

“And a few others, yeah” She observed the walkie in her hand for a moment. “You know…? You should be able to contact your school with this”

Wait.

“Really?”

Could she really hear AJ’s voice, despite the distance? Could she really talk to him, take care of him from afar?

“I talked to Sophie a few nights ago, and I read her your letters. We weren’t far from here, so it should work” She glanced at her group. “Do you get any privacy at the Delta?”

Clementine shook her head.

“Not much. I got a room of my own recently, but anyone would be able to hear through the walls”

“Then maybe you should try to talk to them now” Mariana said. “Sophie uses the radio every night, right?”

“I think so”

“Then she’ll be there to pick up the signal” Mariana smiled at her. “Go on. We still have time”

Clementine could have hugged Mariana in that instant, but instead she returned the smile and with her heart beating quick she walked into the wood and away from the camp, putting about twenty feet of distance.

She was nervous. Why was she so nervous?

Because if she called, she would know if AJ was alive or dead.

And what if he was dead?

The thought made her nauseous.

  1. Dead.



She suddenly didn’t want to know anymore.

She put the walkie in her pocket, but then immediately took it out again. If AJ was there, he’d want to hear from her. He must be so scared… surrounded by boys who wanted to hurt him and without his big sister to protect him. God, he was probably terrified, haunted by nightmares and unable to sleep. What if he fought with the other kids? What if they treated him badly? What if they were fed up with him? What if something happened?

She wasn’t sure she wanted the answers to all those questions.

But if she didn’t hear from AJ for one more day, she might have a heart attack.

She picked the channel they only used to contact Ericson, breathed in, and pressed the button.

“Ericson, do you copy?” She said with the most formal voice she could master.

No response.

Again.

“Ericson, do you copy?” She repeated. “Dammit”

One last time.

“Ericson, do you copy? Is anyone there?”

Static.

She breathed out and put down the walkie. Guess it just didn’t reach Ericson.

…Or something else had happened.

She shook her head.

No. No way.

They couldn’t—! No. Everything was okay. They hadn’t done anything. Ericson was _okay_ , right? It was hidden and protected and nothing would happen to it.

Right?

She started pacing around.

Or perhaps something _did_ happen.

She glanced at the group. At the walls. At the river and the forest.

No, no. Please, no…

 _“Who is it?”_ a metallic voice replied.

_Sophie._

Oh, Sophie, _thank god._

Clementine pressed the button.

“Sophie?” She said. “It’s Clementine”

She released the button, and immediately:

 _“Clementine?”_ Sophie asked. _“Oh my god, Clem! I can’t believe this!”_

Clementine smiled. It was… it was _very nice_ to hear a familiar voice.

Sophie didn’t sound like Minerva. She didn’t sound like Minerva at all.

“I’m with Mariana right now. She gave me a walkie to talk with you”

 _“One of the long range ones, right?”_ she asked. _“Wait, of course it’s a long range one. Mariana read me your letter. Clem, I’m so happy to hear your voice!”_

“I’m happy to hear your voice too” Clementine replied. In a lower tone, she added: “We’re about to take the port. Just so you know”

 _“The port?”_ Sophie sounded surprised. _“They got that far?”_

“Seems like it. I’m actually pretty optimistic about this. We have a solid plan”

 _“That’s… Woah. That’s great to hear”_ Sophie said. _“This will definitely give you an advantage. If we could get ships to Ericson…”_ then she interrupted herself and said: _“Do you have any news? About Minnie and Violet?”_

Okay. Here came the hard part.

“I’m getting close to Violet” Clementine told her. “She hates this place as much as you do. She only stays because she’s scared and because she thinks she has nowhere else to go”

_“Have you told her anything?”_

“Not yet. But I’m planning on doing it tomorrow”

 _“Please, be careful, Clem”_ Sophie warned her. _“Violet has a noble heart, but these people have been fucking with her head for years. Don’t trust her that easily”_

“Trust me. I got this” Clementine reassured her. “Minnie, on the other hand…”

 _“She doesn’t want to leave”_ Sophie guessed. _“I know. She’s… she’s more susceptible to manipulation, Clem. She’s always been. Whatever they did to Violet, it affected Minnie much more. I don’t know if you’ll be able to convince her”_

“What am I supposed to do, then?” Clementine demanded to know. “Kidnap her?”

_“I mean, that’s an option…”_

“I don’t know if I can, Sophie”

Silence.

 _“Clem”_ Sophie said. _“You can’t give up on her. She’s… she’s not bad, okay? She’s not broken. She’s just hurt”_

“She doesn’t want to come back, Sophie”

Sophie sighed.

 _“Clem, what would do you if you were in my place?”_ Sophie insisted. _“This is my sister who we’re talking about. I hate to ask you this, I really, really do. But I need you to keep trying”_

Clementine sighed.

“I’ll try” She said. “But I don’t know if it’ll work”

 _“Okay”_ Sophie breathed. _“Okay. Okay. It’s going to be okay”_ Silence. _“What about Violet? How is she?”_

“She’s…” how to explain it? “She’s very hurt. She doesn’t have any hope left. You can tell she feels out of control of herself”

 _“That’s what they do to you”_ Sophie said. _“You don’t even have control of your own mind”_

“She says this is her home, but she clearly doesn’t believe it. With a little more talking…”

 _“Yeah. Do that. Violet has always been the smartest and the bravest of us”_ Sophie told her. _“I trust you, Clem. I know you can do this”_

“I just wish I could trust myself”

 _“You’ve came this far, haven’t you?”_ Sophie chuckled. _“I know you’re smart. You’ve got this”_ After a moment, she added: _“Wait. There’s someone who needs to talk to you”_

There was about a minute of pure static, and Clementine waited silently until Sophie’s voice came back.

 _“Here he is!”_ She exclaimed happily.

Despite the static and the noise, AJ’s voice was clear as a bell.

_“Clem…?”_

Clem almost sobbed and thanked they couldn’t hear her. She quickly brushed away a tear before pressing the button and replying:

“Hey there, goofball” she said with a smile. “How are you doing?”

 _“Clem!”_ He exclaimed. _“It’s really you! I didn’t believe Willy when he told me you called—but you did!”_

“I sure did!” Clementine chuckled. “Tell me everything. How—how are you? Have they been treating you well?”

And to Clementine’s big surprise, AJ said:

_“Yes! I’m friends with Louis again. I’m even friends with Mitch and Willy! They made a fishing spear for me and Mitch is making me a bow to hunt with Aasim!”_

…Wait, What?

 “He is?” Clementine asked with hesitance.

 _“Yes! He was angry at first, but then we’re friends again now!”_ he explained. _“Louis is teaching me how to play the piano. He says I’m very good, but I know he’s better”_

“…He’s a very good player” Clementine admitted. “AJ, have you had any trouble?”

_“Well, Willy and I pulled a prank on Ruby. We put a bucket of water above her door so it fell on her when she opened it. And then I felt very bad about it. Then Aasim yelled at Willy, and Willy punched him. They didn’t get very angry at me though. That was like a week ago. They’re not mad anymore”_

Clementine observed the walkie.

It simply wasn’t possible.

AJ wasn’t scared.

He was _happy_.

 _“Aasim has been teaching me how to shoot arrows”_ he continued. _“But all the bows are too big, so Mitch offered to make a small one for me. He’s not that scary”_

“He’s not scary?” Clementine asked.

_“No! He even lets me help making bombs! We had a party the other day, and—”_

“Woah, woah, what?” Clementine frowned. “A party?”

 _“Yes! Ruby said it would be ‘good for morale’. She told me what morale meant but I can’t remember it”_ he explained. _“Anyways, Mitch made these sticks with sparks at the end. You set then on fire and they spark! They’re a lot of fun”_

“And…” She didn’t know how to phrase her next sentence. “No one is mad at you?”

“I don’t think so” AJ said. “Louis said he regrets sending you there. And he apologized to me the day after you left”

“How nice” Clementine scoffed.

_“He’s been helping me with my reading, and he’s teaching me to read music too! He found a flute and I’m trying to learn how to play it. He says we can have concerts in the next parties! And Sophie is not mad at him anymore. She’s been teaching me how to draw. I think I’m almost as good as Tenn now”_

“Yeah?”

_“Yes! Sophie was a lot of paints. I think it was called… soil, or something”_

Clementine let out a forced chuckle.

“Oil painting?”

_“Right! Oil painting. It takes a long time to dry, and it smells funny, but it’s very nice. You can make a lot of colors and it looks very pretty”_

“I used to draw a lot as a kid” Clementine told him. “I always had my painting book with me”

_“Clem?”_

“Yeah?”

_“I think I want to be an artist. Like Tenn and Sophie. They say Louis is an artist too, because he makes music. But I think that’s a different kind of art. I want to do both, though”_

Oh, AJ…

“You’ll be a great artist, AJ” Clementine promised. “I know you will”

_“Really?”_

“Yeah! You’re very smart and very creative” she said. “And you clearly love drawing and music. I think that’s what makes an artist”

 _“I want to be as good as Louis someday”_ he said. _“I don’t care if I have to practice all the time. I can do that”_

“As long as Louis is okay with it” Clementine agreed.

 _“What about you?”_ AJ asked. _“How are you? Are you okay?”_

“I’m okay” Clementine reassured him. “I have my own room and I think I’m making progress here. I should be able to go back home soon”

_“Really?”_

“I think so” Clementine smiled. “Now that Mariana gave me this walkie, we can stay in contact”

 _“That’s good”_ AJ said. _“I really miss you, Clem”_

Clementine wiped away a tear.

“I miss you too, Goofball”

_“I love you”_

Clementine chuckled and cried.

“I love you back”

 _“Sophie says I need to go to sleep now”_ he said. _“Can we talk tomorrow?”_

“I don’t think so, kiddo. Maybe in a few nights, okay?”

 _“Ugh. Okay”_ he groaned. _“Goodnight, Clem”_

“Goodnight” She smirked. “Sleep tight”

_“Don’t let the walkers bite”_

“And if they try?”

 _“Bang!”_ AJ chuckled from the other end of the line.

Static after that. She waited five minutes. No one talked. The conversation was over.

She had been wrong.

AJ wasn’t scared, or hurt, or threatened, or in danger.

AJ was _happy_.

She stared at the walkie talkie.

He played music. He learned. He drew. He painted. He was loved by his group. He had the freedom to be a child again, to pull pranks on people and have fun.

God, AJ. He wanted to be an _artist_.

He was happier than he had ever been with her.

That school, those kids…

They had given him something in one month that she hadn’t been able to give him in six years. In his whole life…

 _“What makes you think you’re the most qualified person to protect him, Clementine?”_ She remembered Lilly’s words. _“That other people won’t do a better job?”_

She shook her head.

Lilly was full of shit. She was AJ’s sister. He was meant to be with her. He needed to be with his family.

She hid the walkie in her pocket and talked back towards the camp.

Everyone was ready.               

Fourteen women and eight men from the New Frontier followed the kid to where the forest stopped and gave way to fifty feet of flat, smooth snow until the massive wall raised. The shore was close, to their left. Their guns and their hearts were ready for the fight.

“I just hope that guy I found doesn’t come back for his walkers” Mariana mumbled under her breath as she walked towards the wall.

Clementine raised an eyebrow. There was a lot to unpack there.

“His walkers?” she asked.

“Oh!” Mariana exclaimed. She hadn’t seemed to realize Clementine had heard her. “Well, the walkers we put in the truck belonged to this guy… The one I told you about”

With every word Clementine had more questions than answers.

“He owns walkers?”

“Now anymore. We kinda stole them, to be fair” Mariana corrected.

Clementine needed to ask Mariana to tell her the full story someday soon, but in that moment, during that night, they had something else in mind.

The wall was tall, and dark, and cold. The people inside were worse.

Clementine was ready.

“Okay” Clementine said to them, sounding brave despite her fear. “Let’s go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gASP* is this... a character arc...?  
> i love this song. Also, this chapter is like 20k words. i'm sick of proofreading. it's august 25 rn as i write this and it's like 2 am i wanna go to sleep.  
> I'll be honest with you (as I write this on September 29th). I haven't writen a full chapter of Act III. I said I would. And then I didn't. I still plan on writing this fic I don't think I'll abandon it but boy this is taking time. so sorry about that  
> Chapter 16: "War On Gravity", will be posted on October 6th, 2019.


	16. War On Gravity

_“So please show me what to do_  
_To restart this heart of mine_  
 _How do I forgive myself_  
 _For losing so much time?_

_Wake up_  
_Roll up your sleeves_  
 _There's a chain reaction_  
 _In your heart_  
 _Muscle memory_  
 _Remembering who you are_

_Stand up_  
_Fall in love again and again and again_  
 _Wage war on gravity_  
 _There's so much_  
 _Worth fighting for_  
 _You'll see”_

–“[Nine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRgtB8lWUc8)”, by Sleeping At Last.

Δ

_Last time Clementine had been with the New Frontier at Richmond it had been three years before. Even before she found AJ._

_She had asked Javier to cut her hair, for some stupid reason. She probably shouldn’t have, because it turned out ugly and it kept falling on her face. But it was a nice moment. The Garcías were the first people she had let herself be comfortable and vulnerable around in… in a long time, really. They were a strange family, that was true. Javier’s brother was cruel and angry. He treated his wife like she was worthless, he constantly argued with his daughter, he kidnapped his own son and gave him a scar for life, and he tried to kill his own brother. He made Clementine glad she didn’t have a family. It was less trouble._

_But then she saw Javier with his niece and nephew, and her anger and bitterness dissipated and she remembered how nice it felt to have someone who loved you. Last thing she heard was that Javier had been offered a position of leadership in Richmond, but he had declined. He didn’t see himself as a leader._

_Years later hundreds of free people would turn to him in search for courage and strength to protect their home, and Javier García, accompanied by his niece and nephew, now his children, would lead the avant-garde to victory._

_Years later hundreds of free people would turn to Clementine as well, looking for courage and strength as well. And Clementine would too lead the avant-garde to victory, accompanied by her own family._

_But it was two different kinds of victory, just like there were two different kinds of freedom. Sophie called them physical freedom and mental freedom. One could not exist without the other. And so the children living in the forest and he men in the heart of the city would rise up like wildfires to create something new._

_Fire was destructive, sure. It came in the form of dead people walking. But after the fire, came the new life. There was no point in setting off the fire. It was part of the cycle of the world. The fire was to be embraced and encouraged. Nothing about rebuilding from what is left, but starting from scratch. And doing things right this time._

_It was a lesson Clementine hadn’t learned yet, as Javier García clipped her hair shorter and shorter. She wouldn’t learn it for many years, until she learned to say goodbye one last time. An especial kind of goodbye._

_Perhaps she should have seen it coming when Javier said:_

_“Clementine, listen to me”_

_His tone of voice had instantly brought all her hopes down. She knew he was trying to be nice, but he also had to be honest. As a father. He knew about this._

_“If you find him, and he’s happy…” he had continued. “Let him be happy. Leave him be”_

_He had smiled when he said this. But it was a sad smile. Sad because he didn’t want to hurt Clementine’s feelings, and Clementine knew this very well._

_Yet, it was easy for her to brush away his words and continue with her quest. She grabbed a horse and parted towards the McCarrol Ranch. She killed a lot of people who didn’t deserve it in her way. Only to get AJ back._

_If you find him, and he’s happy…_

_What makes you think you’re the most qualified person to protect him?_

_And in the end, hadn’t she kidnapped him from people who took care of him? From a place where he was safe, and well fed, and taken care of by experienced adults?_

_For years she tried to justify her actions by telling herself he would have been stolen by those raiders if she hadn’t taken him with her in that moment. But that was the result, not the intention. If the place hadn’t been under an invasion when she arrived, what made her think she wouldn’t have killed everyone in her way to get him back, anyways? How could she call herself better than the Delta when she kidnapped a child and called him family just like they did?_

_“If you find him, and he’s happy…_

_Let him be happy. Leave him be”_

Δ

Violet knew something was wrong immediately.

First, one of the guards in the watch tower tripped and fell of the wall. No one else seemed to see it happen, so with the heart in her throat she ran to where he’d been standing, bow in hand, and peaked through the edge of the wall.

Nothing.

The man lay dead on the cold snow, with no visible wounds besides the gash in his head from the fall.

She loaded her bow and observed the forest below her, but with only one eye her eyesight wasn’t what it used to be.

Then came the noise.

They had left barbed wire, spikes and nails all over the road leading to the port, but they did nothing to stop the vertiginous truck as it accelerated and crashed against the gates.

She threw herself the surface of the container she was standing on.  Still gripping her bow.

They were here.

The truck was giant, far bigger than they had expected and it didn’t just crash against the gates: it completely destroyed them. It forced sparks out of the rust and metal as the heavy wheels dragged it against the cold hard ground and soon the beast stumbled and creaked deafeningly when it collapsed to the side.

Walkers soon started to walk out.

It would have been an easy job. It would have been _so easy_ if they could have just _shot_ them and be done with it.

But no one shot them.

They pulled the triggers. They expected to see the walkers fall dead to their feet. But all that came out of the barrels of their rifles were dry empty ‘bangs’ and sparks.

Fake bullets.

Godammit, Gabriel.

The bullets were fake, but her arrows were real. She didn’t bother to climb down a ladder and instead opted to let herself drop on the container below her. She drew back and loosed, quick as lighting, and the walker she was aiming for fell dead.

She considered getting down from the container, but ultimately decided against it. She was mostly safe. No walker could reach her, and she could shoot until she ran out of arrows.

…Until the New Frontier broke in.

They were coming from the main gates. That was their strategy. Once they were there, she’d be an easy target.

She looked around. A woman was struggling with a walker not far from her. Violet shot it down easily.

The kids were in one of the boats. It should be easy to get there, if she could dodge the walkers. But the fight was in the middle of the port. Anywhere on the ground, she’d be killed in a moment, with her blind spot, and on top of a container or building she’d be an easy shot. The only safe spot would be the main house.

There was a dead man in the ground, and walkers feasting on him. There was a woman screaming and hitting them with the back of her rifle. Lilly roared orders from near the gates and Minnie swung her axe with the grace of a ballet dancer, taking down all walkers that dared to walk near her.

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. It was as if they were multiplying. More and more walkers crawled and dragged their corpses out of the truck, more walkers surrounded the soldiers. More walkers quickly infested the port.

And the New Frontier wasn’t coming. They had fucked up their guns and they were leaving them to be devoured by cadavers.

Such an evil and perverse thing—

Clementine.

Where was Clementine?”

Violet’s heart jumped to her throat when she realized she couldn’t see her.

No, no, no…

There was movement inside the wall.

Then, the explosion.

Dirt rubbed against her face when she crashed on the ground. There was a ringing in her ears. She scrambled up and a hand grabbed her where she couldn’t see it. She stabbed the walker.

It was too loud. The gunshots were too loud. Someone kicked her when they ran past her and she fell to her knees. Her bow was gone. A walker lunged at her and she could only push it away. The truck was on fire now. More gunshots, behind her, on top of the containers. She crawled behind cover—an old picnic table. Her ears kept fucking ringing. She could barely hear the screams, the gunshots, Lilly roaring orders and the soldiers running.

Her bow. Only a few feet in front of her. She still had arrows.

Her leg hurt. When had it started hurting? She tried to stand up. She dropped to the ground.

Crawling it was, then.

She dragged herself against the dirt and crawled towards her bow. She extended a hand towards it.

And then a heavy boot kicked it away, hitting her hand as well. She screamed as pain shot up her arm through her bones and she pulled her hand to her chest.

“You fucking—!” The raider groaned. They grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up. It hurt. “Fucking murderer…”

_A murderer. She was a murderer._

It was an old lady, with hair grey like ashes and her face resembling a crumpled piece of paper. Not to old to fight, but too old for Violet to react in the moment without being reminded of the rifle and the rocking chair.

She hit her with the back of her rifle and Violet fell once again. She took the chance to kick her legs and throw her to the ground.

Violet raised her knife and threw a stab to the air, without hitting anything. The old woman grabbed her wrist and pried the knife out of her hand.

“Surrender” she commanded. “We don’t want to hurt you”

“Bullshit!” Violet cried.

A knife. A slap. Violet tore her wrist away from the woman’s grip and took her bow just in time to swing it and hit her in the head.

The woman fell lifelessly to the ground.

Violet breathed out and observed her body.

She didn’t like killing. She didn’t like killing at all.

She quickly got under cover again, now with her knife and her bow. She peaked through the edge and took note of her surroundings.

The truck was still burning, and some walkers had caught fire as well. Without bullets, they could barely fight them off. That, plus the raiders shooting at them.

“Listen, this doesn’t have to be this hard” A short haired woman said from the top of a container. “Just give in. We’ll kill the walkers for you and you can all go home safely tonight”

A crossbow bolt flew past her. She sighed.

“That’s a no, I assume” she raised her rifle and started shooting. Violet barely got out of sight. Her picnic table wouldn’t provide much cover from bullets. Better to avoid being a target.

Ah, shit. Okay. Okay. They were surrounded. Walkers on fire were inside their walls and the noise was attracting more through the gates. They didn’t have guns and they’d run out of arrows soon.

Surrender sounded very tempting.

A walker found her. She quickly kicked it and stabbed it, like she’d seen Clem do before.

She looked around. How had they broken in? Surely it must have been through the tunnels inside the wall. But how could they? It was sealed. They had traps. It was impossible. It was…

Gabe had been talking to someone.

When he told them the plan. He wasn’t alone.

Someone had let them in. The second spy.

Fuck.

She tried to find one of her fellow soldiers. She caught a glimpse of Minnie’s red hair, but she was behind cover. Lilly was hiding behind the kayak shed, shooting at the bandits with her small, pathetic handgun. Some people were still on top of the wall. Some others were fighting walkers with knives and dodging the bullets. Many lay dead already.

How had they killed half of them so quickly?

She caught something, through the corner of her eye.

The sailboat.

It was leaving. The kids were leaving. The wing blew on the sails and the boat glided across the water, slowly to the north.

She sighed in relief and she thanked God that Lilly had decided not to force them to fight.

Did that mean she knew they had lost? That they were going to die?

Why wasn’t she giving in?

She was going to get the all killed.

Someone else fell dead. Right on front of her, to her feet. It was Jack. Tom’s son. Like, father, the son died by a wound in the neck. A bullet snapping his jugular vein in half and spilling out the blood like water from a waterfall. He locked his eyes with Violet for a moment and silently begged her to kill him. She forced herself to put her knife through his eye and inside his skull.

It was sickening. It was cruel and gross and vile.

They _did_ kill children.

It wasn’t fucking fair. She didn’t want to kill and the boy didn’t want to die.

She didn’t want to die.

In that moment, a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her to a pair of open jaws. She stabbed the walker through the neck and to the brain, but as it fell dead a second one quickly replaced it and lunged at her. She kicked it away and just when she was about to step on its head another grabbed her from behind. She elbowed it just in time and jerked her arm away from it.

They were surrounding her. The walkers were multiplying, coming through the gates in legions, filling every corner inside the walls. The raiders were still shooting, advancing and successfully avoiding the walkers, cornering the few soldiers left away from the walls and closer to the buildings.

The buildings.

The main house. It was in the middle of the port, not too close to the action and it didn’t look like there was any movement inside. All the windows had been previously barred. No walker could get inside.

Violet immediately took her chance and sprinted towards it. She cowered behind cover when she felt a bullet graze past her. The raider stopped shooting for a moment to load, and in that moment Violet put an arrow through his head.

She jumped to her feet and made her way to the back of the building, so it stood between her and the conflict.

It was darker behind the building. Out of sight. Comfortably darker.

She found the back door and opened it as silently as possible.

It creaked open, like a tired animal, and she slipped inside.

It was… silent. She could still hear the shooting and the screaming outside, muffled through the walls. But she was away from it.

Okay. Now what?

There was someone in the kitchen.

The ruffling noises reached her ears. A pan clinging against the ground, a glass shattering on accident and a whispered “shit” as the pieces were being picked up. They were inspecting the cabinets.

Violet swallowed. She gripped her bow and silently advanced down the hallway. Even though she didn’t want to. She’d never wanted to find herself in this situation.

Once she reached the end of the hallway, she peaked around the corner and saw the silhouette of a person shifting behind the counter, at the other side of the dining room.

She loaded her bow, fired and missed.

The raider cowered behind the desk just in time. A gun was aimed at her direction and the bullet grazed the corner she was hiding behind. She dodged it perfectly.

Two more shots were delivered, then a click. They’d run out of bullets.

She loaded again and turned around only to be brutally pushed against the wall in that moment, her bow falling from her hands. She grabbed her knife and tried to cut her attacker, but they punched her hand with their heavy gun and she screamed in pain. It left her hand feeling hot and numb.

In that exact moment the raider ran behind the desk and grabbed what looked like a box of bullets. Violet ran after them before they got the chance to load the gun. They swung a knife—Violet’s knife—in her direction, but Violet jumped back before it could touch her. She grabbed the handle of a butcher knife someone had stabbed into the counter and raised it to dig it into the raider’s skull.

A pair of hands pulled her back and a quivering blade was pressed tight against her throat.

“Drop it” a voice said. “Now”

Violet’s heart stopped.

Of course.

Of course she’d been so stupid not to see it. Of course she’d been so _fucking blind_.

Before she could even think about fighting back, the first attacker hit her hand once again, forcing her to drop the knife a second time. She screamed again. It hurt worse. It must have broken a few fingers, because she discovered she couldn’t move her hand. Now the attacker held both of her knives against her, while a third one was held against her throat from behind.

The knife on her neck loosed for a moment.

“Mariana!” Clementine scolded.

“What?” The girl, Mariana, said. “She’s a soldier”

To Violet’s surprise, she sounded young. Younger than she had imagined. And now that her eyes were adjusted to the dark and she took a better look at her, she could see she was shorter than her. Small. A kid who couldn’t be older than Alex.

Clementine…

“Vi…”

Violet elbowed her in the stomach and broke free from her grip. Mariana raised the knife towards her, but Clementine gestured at her to lower it.

Clementine was with them.

She was the spy.

Surprise turned to anger.

“I can’t believe I was _so fucking stupid_ to trust you” Violet snarled.

Clementine took a step towards her.

“Vi, this is not what you think”

“Fuck you!” Violet snapped. “You’ve been spying on us this whole time! You lied to me!”

She made her feel like she could trust in somebody. She made her feel vulnerable, and listened to, and valued and taken into account. She made her think she could be honest.

And it was all a lie. Clementine had never given a shit.

“I didn’t— I didn’t lie to you” Clementine insisted. She took another step towards her and Violet backed away. “Violet, I need you to let me explain”

“What is there to explain?! You work with them!”

She didn’t know Clementine. She wasn’t who she thought she was.

“I’m here to help you, Vi” Clementine said. “Please, if you give me a chance—”

“No way” Violet interrupted. “That’s bullshit. I’m done”

In that moment, the screaming and the shooting stopped.

The three girls stood still, like a deer in the highlights.

Only one voice was heard.

“I give up!” Lilly cried. “We give up! We’ll leave!”

Violet breathed out.

It was over.

They were going to kill them all.

All because of Clementine.

She swung a fist to her face, but Clementine dodged it in time and held her wrist away from her, avoiding touching her injured hand.

“This is all your fault” She groaned. “I should have known. You were so close to him. When I heard Gabriel talking—”

“Wait” Mariana intervened. “You’re the one who caught him?”

Clementine looked at her with a new understanding now.

She knew she’d been the one to sell him away.

“Violet” Clementine said once again. “I need you to trust me”

Violet could have laughed.

“Do you really think I would ever trust you again?”

She yanked her arm away from her. The movement hurt.

Clementine’s breath was quick. She bit her lip.

She then spoke:

“Louis says he misses you”

It took a moment for Violet to process those words.

Louis…

No. No fucking way.

“What are you talking about?” She demanded to know.

In that moment, the doors were slammed open.

“On your knees!” A woman ordered. “Now!”

Mariana pressed the empty barrel of a gun against Clementine’s head and Clementine quietly obeyed the orders. The woman, with a shotgun in hand, grabbed Violet and forced her down. She tied her hands behind her back.

Clementine exchanged a look with her.

There was no point in selling her out right now. Her side was the victorious side. They’d just release her and say ‘Well, it’s a shame you can’t be a spy anymore. Time to go home’.

They took them outside and made them kneel in the snow. The remaining Delta soldiers (nine people in total) had all been positioned in a row, hand tied, unarmed and on their knees. Everyone. Even Lilly, who looked more humiliated than she had ever been.

“We made a promise” The short haired raider woman said. “We told you that if you gave in, we’d kill the walkers and you’d all be allowed to go home” She opened her arms, and Violet noticed that all the walkers now lay dead on the ground. A second truck had shown up at some point and it was not blocking the gates, keeping the walkers out. “And we always keep our promises. You should know by now. And I deeply apologize if I hadn’t gotten my point across before, because even after we communicated our conditions, you still refused to cooperate”

It was an old script. Violet had heard it a million times before.

“But we are men and women of honor, and your commander here” She pointed at Lilly with the barrel of her rifle. “Has decided to listen to our suggestion”

For the first time, Violet saw Lilly as powerless. Beaten and humiliated as she was. As a real person, and not a representation or a personification of power. Someone you could touch and someone you kill.

“You’re all going home now!” The woman smiled. “And we’re keeping this place. Thank you very much”

One by one, the raiders stood behind them with their guns, and Violet’s heart picked up. She was certain they were going to shoot them, but then they started hitting them with the back of their shotguns and rifles. Just one clean strike to knock them out. The old lady Violet had fought with was among them. She hadn’t killed her. But she was the one to deliver her the strike.

Clementine was the last one in the row, and she caught a glimpse of her before passing out, knowing damn well she would be awake and conscious the whole time.

Δ

Two days later Violet sat on her sleeping bag, back in the barracks, staring ahead with unfocused eye.

The back of her head still hurt, but not that much. They had bandaged her hand and they told her she wouldn’t be able to hold a bow for at least two weeks.

Alex was sitting on the ground, not far from her, playing some chess with his friends. She was glad he hadn’t had to put himself in danger.

Violet hadn’t had the chance to talk to Clementine.

_“Louis says he misses you”_

Shit.

What did she know? She surely didn’t know Louis. She couldn’t.

But then again, she lied. She had lied so much.

She hadn’t had the chance to talk to her and she hadn’t told anyone about what she’d seen.

_“Louis says he misses you”_

Everything made sense now. The way she talked about the Delta, how quickly she’d gotten close to Gabriel, how differently she behaved around different people, how eager she seemed to get her on her side, how she had killed Tom, how easy it was for her to adapt… If her goal was to pretend to be someone else, of course she wouldn’t offer more resistance than expected.

And her plan had worked. It had worked on everyone. Even on Violet.

How had she been so blind?

Why? Because she could have a genuine opinion when she was with Clementine? Because Clementine was so different from everyone else in her life? Because Clementine reminded her of Sophie?

Sophie. She’d been so brave. So genuine. So full of life and so… courageous, so courageous to believe the world was still good. She always said everyone was born good. That it was in people’s nature to be good.

And maybe Clementine reminded her of her old friend? When she talked about leaving? About changing? About something new? When she dared to hope for something better?

Because Clementine had been so good at lying to her, that she used her, manipulated her by giving her hope when Violet needed it the most and no one else would give it to her.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

_“Louis says he misses you”_

And Violet still wanted to know.

It was still early, and she had a long day. She tried to put on her boots, but it was difficult with a wounded hand.

“Do you need help?” Alex asked.

Violet shook her head.

“I got this” she said. It would just take a little longer.

Alex took a seat in her sleeping bag, in front of her.

“Maybe your hand would be okay if I hadn’t left” he suggested.

“It was a good thing you left” Violet countered. “There was nothing you could do”

“A lot of people died”

“You would have died, too”

“You’re right” Alex sighed. “Did they use walkers? I know they sometimes use walkers”

Violet nodded.

“They used them as a distraction. They broke in while we were too busy fighting them off”

Alex pressed his lips together.

“I hate them” he stated. “I hate the New Frontier. No one should use walkers. Ever” he stood up and looked for his backpack under his cot. “People who use walkers are all evil. I wish no one thought of walkers like that”

Violet didn’t know what to say, so she just listened to him.

“Or… or the people who dress with walker skin! And live among walkers! That’s messed up. I hate it. I hate the people who do that”

Oh. So he was talking about _that_.

“I don’t think there’s any Whisperer living around here” Violet said.

That seemed to calm Alex.

He’d had bad experiences with Whisperers.

They left the barracks to start their respective jobs. Alex was going to help at the greenhouse and Violet was sent to the armory, to help keep recount the guns and bullets, after so many had been lost. They’d been submerged in water, which had ruined the powder and thus they couldn’t produce an explosion. They needed to see if there was anything that could be saved.

So she waved Alex goodbye and walked past the School over to the armory.

It was a small, two stories building. It was always under watch, or so Violet thought, because she couldn’t really see if there was anyone inside the cabin of the watch tower. But it was better to behave, just in case.

The guns inside were hanging from the walls or from the aisles all over the big room. There was a counter with more drawers that you could count, all with various bullet boxes inside.

The morale was low. That was visible in the moment you walked inside.

The few people working there had slouched shoulders and hung her heads tiredly. They barely made a noise. There was a small mountains of bullets on top of the counter, and two men were working on counting them. A woman was cleaning a gun. Apart from that, the armory was dark and empty.

Violet didn’t ask anything. She just sat down to count the bullets with the two men.

And while she counted, she thought:

Clementine must have found out about Louis through Minnie. She had never seen them talk, and she could tell they wouldn’t get along, but it was the only way. If she’d even known Louis personally, that would mean she’d been to Ericson. And why would she leave Ericson for a place like the Delta? It simply didn’t make sense. So Violet could only conclude Clementine had lied to her again. She’d taken the name of her best friend and twisted to keep her silent. A perfect revenge would be to tell Lilly immediately. Clementine would never lie to her again.

Minnie hadn’t talked to her either.

Violet was convinced she just hadn’t been able to. She didn’t have a lot of time herself, either, between visits to the doctor, working after the loss of the port and drowning herself in her own thoughts and her own misery. She wanted to think that Minnie would run to her beloved in the moment she got a chance and shower her in kisses and cuddles and ask her if her hand was okay, if she needed anything, if she’d been scared and Violet would reply that she was scared she might never see her loved Minnie again.

The rational part of her brain knew Minnie wasn’t the type to show a lot of affection. Not that she didn’t love Violet! She _loved_ Violet. She told her a million times. It would be cruel and disrespectful and unfair to suggest she didn’t, and Minnie deserved so much better than that. She just… wasn’t the cuddliest person. She had other ways to show her love, even if Violet wasn’t always smart enough to perceive them. She should probably pay more attention.

But still… she only wanted a word, a touch, after what the battle at the port. She’d been hurt and she needed her girlfriend with her for a moment. She just wanted to ask her if she was okay.

“Have you heard about the port?” A woman asked.

“How could I not?” a man replied. “I can’t believe it”

“Truly a great loss” someone else added.

“Truly a waste. All that infrastructure in the hands of pirates is worthless”

“They’ll turn all the ships into firewood in no time”

“All the time we spent building that wall for nothing”

“And all the people who died… They deserved better than this”

“They died for a good cause”

“Right. Of course” a chuckle. “It was… it was a good cause”

No bullets could be saved, in the end. They were all useless.

Everything was always fucking useless. There was no point in anything. It was as if everyone was just making shit up to kill time until they died. Wars were just excuses to get it over with quickly. And everything the Delta had built, everything they were so proud of, was just a game they played not to get bored. In ten or five or one year it would all be gone, as if it had never existed, and all her pain would be worthless.

She skipped breakfast and lunch. She wasn’t hungry. So once she left the armory, she wandered down the street, towards the barracks again. A crying woman walked past her, hiding her face with one hand and dragging a silent kid with the other. Someone down street struggled with an angry horse trying to break free. The horse ultimately lost and was forcefully pulled by a leash, forced to walk around the corner.

The sky was grey and the air was cold. Cold air had a distinct smell, clean and pure like ice. Thin patches of ice were scattered over the asphalt and covered the sidewalks almost completely, after the snow had frozen instead of melted. And what wasn’t frozen had mixed with the mud and now gross brown snow was accumulated on both sides of the street.

Walking was hard. She slipped several times and only managed to regain balance at last moment.

Violet didn’t have a scarf. The last one she had had been stolen by some kid at the barracks and she hadn’t had the heart to get it back.

She coughed.

Some kids were running among the green military tents in the parking lot. The tent city was disorganized and messy, with no structure or pattern in the placement of the tents, the old car parts, the small wet campfires and the folding chairs. It used to be fun to get lost in it. It was like walking inside a labyrinth.

The kids laughed and yelled. They were playing tag, it seemed. They didn’t have guns, or knives, or axes. A girl had a doll in her hand and was waving it at the boys, who made disgusted noises at the sight of a girl toy. She laughed as she scared them off. They couldn’t be older than eight or seven. They didn’t slip on the ice once. They knew how to run on it. They grew up doing it.

It was nice to see someone happy.

Apart from them, the tent city was mostly deserted. Violet guessed there must be people sleeping inside. Sleeping to escape. Sleeping to make the waiting feel shorter. Sleeping to kill time.

She felt empty. She didn’t know where to go or what to do. Why bother? It wasn’t as if anything meant anything anymore. The Delta tried so hard to fabricate a meaning, but it was all worthless to her. People desperately took this pre-made meaning and made it theirs because they were scared. That was the meaning of their lives. Being scared.

What kind of life was that?

Louis had never been like that. Louis and Sophie had been… so strong. Their futures were stolen from them, so while Violet sulked and lamented, they invented the meaning of their own lives. Brave meanings. Beautiful meanings. They were artists, after all. They could create meaning out of anything.

Violet was nothing. Violet was empty.

She had dinner shortly after. She ate mostly out of boredom, although part of her wanted to starve until her bones ripped her skin to shreds.

They ate some kind of rice. She didn’t finish her plate, and instead gave it to a kid next to her.

When she took a shower, she made sure the curtain of her stall didn’t let anyone see through before taking off her eye patch and opening the hot water. Hotter than comfortable. It made her skin red.

The patch was pitch black and the border was outlined by a thin red thread and Violet though it was so cruel and unfair that she had to wear her wound like an honorable war scar, that she considered not putting it back on. She considered walking out of the stall with her bad eye in plain sight for everyone to see how much she hated herself and how much she wanted to die. What was the point anyways? The people you love don’t love you. Nobody loves you and love is a lie and everything is a lie. Trust is a lie, friendship is a lie, meaning is a lie and hope is a lie. If there was nothing true then there was nothing worth living for.

It’d be nice, she thought. To finally give Sophie her justice. To finally punish her murderer and give herself death.

But she did put on her patch in the end. She did it last, after drying herself with a towel and putting back on her clothes. She really didn’t want to put on the patch.

The showers had been empty when she walked in and they were empty when she walked out. Maybe she had stayed there for longer than she thought. Maybe no one had even been there. It didn’t matter.

But when she opened the door that gave to the hallway, she found a familiar face.

“Violet!” Clementine exclaimed. “I need to talk to you. I’m sorry it took me so long, but—”

“You were thinking up a lie?” Violet bitterly suggested. “Don’t bother”

She walked past her, painfully knocking her shoulder.

“This is important” Clementine insisted from behind her.

“Whatever. Just leave me out of it”

Hell, would she even tell Lilly what she knew? What was the point?

“It’s about Sophie”

Her feet stopped dead on their tracks, stuttered and almost made her trip over.

_Sophie…_

She took a deep breath.

“You didn’t know her” Violet stated.

There was a second of silence. Then Clementine slowly took a step towards her.

“Can we talk in my room?” She asked. “Please”

_Louis says he misses you._

And… shit. It wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that easy when it came to Louis and Sophie. Because… they _weren’t_ _worthless_ to Violet. They meant something for her. They really did.

And it hurt. It hurt so much.

Violet slowly turned around and let Clementine guide her to her room.

The hallway was dark. They didn’t run into anyone and even though Clementine occasionally glanced at her, Violet didn’t feel observed.

Clementine opened the door at the end of the hall and let Violet in. She closed the door behind her, without locking it.

Clementine’s room was small: beige walls, two double beds in each side of the room, with a space of three feet between them. It didn’t look like anyone had used three of the four beds in a long time. The window at the other end of the room was dirty. There was a closet and an electric heater, and that was the only furniture in the room.

So this was where Clementine lived now. She had a warm bed, a safe place to keep her clothes and even a heater. What you got for kicking people out of a place. She wondered how many New Frontier raiders would be getting new fucking beds that night.

Clementine sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I know you’re angry at me”

“Seriously?” Violet mocked. “What made you think that?”

“Okay” Clementine said. “I… I understand. I’d be angry too”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Violet asked. “You said something about Sophie and…” _fuck_. “About Louis.”

Clementine bit her lip.

“Yeah” She confessed. “It’s… a long story”

“It’s the only reason I haven’t told Lilly about you yet” Violet reminded her, as if to tell her to speed up.

“I had hoped it worked” Clementine admitted. “Saying that about Louis” she explained. “I needed to win time”

“So you lied?” Violet deduced. “Fucking figures”

“I didn’t lie!” Clementine jumped to defend herself. “It’s true. He misses you a lot. You’re… his best friend”

“So you know him”

Clementine nodded.

“I do. We’re friends”

“You said you didn’t come here against your will” Violet said. “Why would you leave them? Why didn’t you stay with them?”

Clementine breathed out. She sat down in one of the beds.

“Do you remember I told you about my brother?” Clementine asked.

Violet nodded.

“I thought the New Frontier had killed him”

“He’s not dead. He’s with Louis right now. He’s taking care of him”

So more lies. She wondered if Clementine was even her real name.

“I came here to protect him” Clementine continued. “He made a mistake, and… and the condition to let him stay after that was that I came here to take you and Minnie back to Ericson”

Violet blinked.

“Bullshit” she mumbled.

“It’s true, Vi” Clementine promised. “It was Aasim’s idea. Even though he wanted me to stay. It was the only thing everyone else settled for”

Violet shook her head. No way.

But otherwise, how would she know their names?

“Louis wouldn’t just kick someone out. That’s not like him”

“…He wasn’t in a very good state, after AJ killed his best friend in front of him”

His face jumped to the front of her mind. His stupid, ugly, coward rat face. How pathetic he had looked when she shouted ‘Leave me alone! Take _them_ instead’ and how much pain he had caused them.

“So Marlon is dead?” Violet asked with a string of voice.

“He tried to give me and AJ to the Delta” Clementine explained. “AJ acted in self defense”

“He deserved it” Violet crossed her arms. “He was a coward and a liar”

“He was” Clementine agreed. “But Mitch still insisted that they kicked us both out, and I going away to get you back was the only plan that convinced him”

Violet slowly took a seat in the bed opposite to Clementine.

“I don’t believe you” she stated. “There’s no way they’d send you here. They don’t even know about this place. And why would they allow the kid who killed their leader to stay? How did they even find you, with that stupid safe zone?”

“Marlon wasn’t their leader anymore” Clementine corrected her. She sounded tired and scared. “Someone else took his place”

“Who?” Violet demanded to know. “Why would they do that? He kept them safe for years”

“They found out about what he did” Clementine told her. “Things are so different from before”

“How do they know? Marlon would never tell them, and we never got the chance to talk to them. Minnie and I are here, and Sophie—” her voice cracked. She took a moment. “Sophie’s dead” she said. “She’s dead because of _me_. If you really think they’d want me back after what I did—”

“Violet” Clementine said. “Sophie’s alive”

In that moment her heart stopped and quickened at the same time. She blinked and tilted her head slightly, as if she hadn’t heard the words right. She looked at Clementine with confusion as her brain tried to process those words.

_Sophie’s alive. Sophie’s alive, Louis misses you and they want you back._

Sophie…?

“No way” She said. “I saw her die. She fell off the bridge”

“She survived the fall” Clementine said. She traced a line from the corner of her lip to her earlobe with her finger. “She has a scar from the fight, but she’s alive. She found her way back to the school and told everyone what happened. She’s the leader now”

“And she sent you here?” Violet scoffed. Sophie would never do that. She hated that place more than anyone.

“She doesn’t have that much power” Clementine explained. “They gave us a choice. We could both leave, or I could come here and let AJ stay. I thought he’d be safer there” She straightened her back. “I never liked the New Frontier much. I had some trouble with them in the past. But Sophie formed an alliance with them. That’s why I spy for them, too. Sort of”

“Sophie wouldn’t work with people like them” Violet stated. “She didn’t like violence”

Clementine sighed.

“The New Frontier hasn’t raided a community in years” she said. “I mean, they used to, back when David and Joan were leaders. But Javier took their place three years ago. He’s just trying to keep his people safe. He’s not a soldier. He’s just a dad”

Violet shook her head. Everything made so much and so little sense. It sounded like a fairy tale, or a dream. Sophie alive, the New Frontier being the good guys, her friends—her family—wanting her back… It was something her brain couldn’t believe.

How else would Clementine know their names? From talking to Minnie? Minnie hated Clementine. Why would she tell her anything about their pasts?

“Clem, I don’t know” Violet said. “This… What you’re telling me… I don’t know if I believe you”

“It’s the truth” Clementine promised. “What can I say to prove it?”

“Shit, I don’t know” Violet mumbled. “How… How many kids are left? Did anyone else die?”

“We’re twelve by now, counting AJ and I” She said, and then she proceeded to name them: Louis, Sophie, Aasim, Mitch, Willy, Tenn, Ruby, Omar, Brody, even the dog, Rosie.

“You’re telling me no one died since I left?” Violet asked. She was amazed. Usually, they lost three or four children a year. Now three years later everyone was still walking?

“Besides Marlon? I don’t think so” Clementine said. “Sophie is a really great leader. She’s been keeping everyone safe for years. She brought them out of the woods”

“That’s Sophie for you” Violet chuckled. “She was… She was always so brave. Even if she was a bit naïve at times. I think that’s what made her brave. Being convinced she could do anything”

“And she’s still alive” Clementine said. She smiled sadly at Violet. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m telling the truth”

Violet stared ahead and nodded.

Sophie. Alive. Looking for her.

It didn’t sound real, but thinking about that happy courageous smile of hers Violet felt more real than she had in years.

So many years, so many years…

And she was still alive.

Tears threatened to fall, but she quickly rubbed her eye so Clementine wouldn’t see her cry. Sophie was alive.

It was like waking up. Like her soul coming back to her body. She hadn’t killed her friend. She wasn’t a monster.

She looked at her hands. The hands Minnie held. The hands Minnie held so tightly it hurt and made her freak out. Her hands, her being, herself, not stained with blood. Herself, again.

She glanced at Clementine, and she remembered Louis playing the piano—always the same song—, while Mitch worked on carving a blade out of bone and Aasim wrote in his journal. Minnie sang at the sound of music and Sophie sketched something with Tenn. She had taught him how to draw. She had also tried to teach Violet, because Violet admired her a lot and it felt like a great honor to be taught by Sophie herself. Sophie, who was alive, and she still loved her, she was still her family—her true, real family— and who still wanted her back home. Who moved earth and sky to bring her back.

She thought they’d abandoned her. She had thought they’d find out about what Marlon did sooner or later and they’d just shrug and say ‘what a pity’ and move on with their lives, like everyone else, like everyone else besides Minnie, who never made an effort to spend a minute with her, who only talked to her to remind her how stupid and worthless she was, who promised her love yet never showed her she loved her and who didn’t even try to check if she was okay after a battle.

Louis missed her. Sophie missed her. And she was sitting on front of Clem, who was telling her story, opening up and for the first time being truly honest with Violet. This was Clementine: the girl who would lie and cheat for the people she loved, who had a home and who fought with more bravery than any soldier in the Delta who had a gun forced into their hands. Clem chose to fight. Her reasons— her meaning— to fight was genuine. She didn’t live out of fear. She lived out of love. For her brother and for her home.

And now she risked the death sentence to tell Violet the truth. That her family loved her. They had always loved her.

Something had been stolen from Violet. The honesty and the genuine bravery to be herself. And now Clem was opening a door. She was allowing her to be herself again. She could say how much she hated the Delta, how much she wanted to go back home and how much pain Minnie caused her. How much she hated and feared Asha, her supposed best friend, and how the Delta had never been home.

She’d been less than half herself for so, so long.

Clem stood up. She offered her hand. Violet took it and rose to her feet.

Wake up. Wage war on gravity.

There was so much worth fighting for.

Violet was close to tears. Clem rubbed the back of her hand with her thumb.

Clementine wasn’t her home. But it was as if she had just handed her a little piece of it. A pencil or a piano key from the school. The real school, not that torture camp they called The School. A school that they had given a new meaning to. Like artists did. It wasn’t discipline machinery anymore. It was home, and it was freedom.

Muscle memory bringing everything back to her head, everything she had fought so hard to forget. The way she and Louis cried together when they were little, when everything became too much. The way he and Sophie always found a way to cheer everyone up. The way Brody talked about traveling and discovering the world and how when she talked, everything seemed possible. The way Tenn’s drawings evolved through the years, becoming more and more sophisticated as his skill with perspective and color theory were refined. The way Minnie had taught Violet how to sing, and Violet had tried to teach her archery in return. Remembering who she was. That was Violet. That was her. Her whole heart was with her family at Ericson. That was home.

She had lost herself for so long.

How to forgive herself for losing so much time?

She squeezed Clem’s hand.

Stand up.

“Are you okay?” Clem asked.

Violet nodded. She couldn’t hold the wide grin that quickly appeared in her face. She discovered she wasn’t angry at Clem anymore. It was smart of her to lie. It was too dangerous to straight up tell the truth. Violet wouldn’t have believed her.

“Is she really alive, Clem?” Violet asked. “Is this true?”

Clementine nodded and smiled. She squeezed her hand.

“It is” She promised. “She’s alive. They all miss you. So much”

Violet’s shoulders shook with a tearless sob. She didn’t let herself cry. But she wanted to. Part of her wanted to hug Clem and thank her a million times, for everything. Part of her wanted to run away that exact night, back to the school. Part of her forgot she was scared.

She could be herself again.

It was strange. Her entire life was changed again, in a matter of minutes, with a few words.

She let go of Clem’s hand and took a step back. She could stand by herself now.

“So now what?” She asked. “We’re running away into the sunset?”

Clementine chuckled nervously.

“I mean, taking you and Minnie back home was part of the deal”

Oh.

Minnie. Right.

Minnie, who killed— tried to kill Sophie. Minnie, who took pride on it.

Violet crossed her arms.

“Clem…”

In that moment, the door burst open.

“You two” a soldier said. “Something’s going on downstairs”

Violet could have sworn her heard stopped for a moment. She glanced at Clementine, who gave her a reassuring, assertive nod, and together they walked out of the room and down the hallway.

The sound of their feet against the fake marble floor echoed in the walls. The dim and flickering warm light barely illuminated anything. Everything looked far dirtier when it was so dark.

They climbed down the stairs of the old building and made it to the first floor. There were struggling noises near, probably around the corner. A soldier ran past them. Violet guessed they were going to see what the commotion was about.

They turned around the corner, and her stomach dropped.

Gabriel was on his knees on the ground, with his hands tied back and a black eye. His lip was split open and bleeding. A lot. He looked like he barely could breathe, as if they’d broken a rib or two.

When she turned to look at Clem, she found her staring at her dear friend with eyes wide open, full of fear. Guilt hit Violet like a freight train.

Fuck.

He was being held at gunpoint by some soldier. Lilly was there, as well, towering over him.

“What do you have to say about this?” She asked him.

Both Violet and Clem were frozen in their place.

“W—what happened?” Clem asked.

“He was found outside our walls an hour ago” a soldier replied with gruff voice. “Should have expected. Fucking thief”

Gabriel and Clem exchanged a long look. Both kids were terrified. Violet wished she could do something about it. Take it back. Stop it. _Anything_.

“Violet” Lilly commanded.

Violet swallowed.

“Yes, ma’am?” she forced herself to mumble.

“Check his backpack”

His backpack was lying on the floor. She hadn’t noticed it until then.

She slowly kneeled until she was at the same height as him, and he looked terrified by her. As if she were going to bite his head off. She didn’t want people to be scared of her.

With hesitant hands she opened the green bag. Inside there was a flashlight, a gun silencer, a box of bullets, two water bottles and two Polaroid photos: one with a man who looked a little bit like him, a woman, and two kids. Violet recognized them as Gabriel and Mariana, when they were younger. The second one portrayed them as the age they were now, next to a man she’d heard a lot about. Javier García. They were smiling.

Was this the face of a bandit and a pirate?

Next to the photos, a tiny green notebook hid in the corners of the bag. It wasn’t bigger than her hand, and it looked like several pages had been ripped off.

She opened it, without taking it out of the backpack. Minuscule words filled every page. All the writing was in Spanish, so most people wouldn’t understand it right away if they read it.

But the Delta had some people who spoke Spanish. It would take less than a day to translate the entire notepad. And then they’d have access to their plans.

She glanced at Gabriel, shaking and broken, at the photo with Javier and then at Clem, who looked at her with terror in her eyes.

Did she trust Clem? Did she believe her?

She made a choice in that moment.

She hesitantly hid the notepad in the inside pocket of her jacket, before anyone could see it.

“There’s not much” she lied to Lilly.

“Really?” Lilly snarled. She took her gun and aimed it at Gabriel’s head. His eyes opened wide with horror.

Violet nodded.

“Just some pictures”

“Let me see them”

Violet took the photos and gave them to Lilly. She could see the despair and sadness in Gabriel’s eyes when she took them.

“So you are Javier’s son”

“I’m—” he coughed. “I’m not his son”

A man hit him in the gut with the back of his rifle.

“Don’t get smart with us, boy” he warned.

“He’s my uncle!” Gabriel specified. “He’s not my dad”

“Close enough” Lilly decided. She examined the photos. “So these are your parents?”

“They’re dead” Gabriel said. “It’s… they’re dead”

Lilly hummed. It was clear she didn’t give a fuck.

“And I assume this is your sister”

Gabriel froze. He jerked his head up.

“Don’t…”

“I think I saw her at the port” Lilly continued. “She’s not far from here”

Her words only terrified him even more.

“Please—”

“He’ll be executed in the morning” Lilly told her men. She stored the photos in her front pocket. “Publicly. It’s time to teach him a lesson”

“You can’t do that” Clem suddenly said. Lilly turned her head to look at her.

“These are the rules, Clementine” she said. “We cannot tolerate traitors”

She couldn’t let this happen.

“Clem’s right” Violet intervened, without knowing where she gained the courage to speak up. She quickly made up an argument: “If he’s Javier’s nephew, he must be invaluable. He can be our bargaining chip”

Clem and Gabriel exchanged a look. Lilly pursed her lips.

“You’re right on that” she admitted. “He’s far too valuable to waste” She turned to her men. “Take him to a cell. We’ll decide what to do with him in the morning”

A man grabbed him from the upper arm and forced him to his feet. He looked like he could barely stand by himself.

“Walk” he commanded.

He exchanged one last look with Clem before they dragged him down the hall and forced him around the corner.

“Now, you two” Lilly said to them. Both girls froze. “Go to sleep. Now. You have a long day tomorrow”

“Yes, ma’am” Violet muttered. Lilly gave them an approving look. She turned around and walked away, in the same direction as the men who had taken Gabriel.

Once they were out of sight, Violet asked:

“Are you okay?”

Clem stared ahead, and shook her head.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

Violet shrugged.

“I don’t know” She confessed. “I guess I felt guilty, for selling him out. It’s… my fault, that this happened, I mean”

Clem didn’t say anything. Violet couldn’t really expect her to be happy.

“We need to do something” she suddenly said. “We can’t stay here”

They started walking, in the opposite direction as Lilly.

“We will” Violet say, feeling as brave as she’d felt when Sophie just started crossing the bridge, before everything went down. She glanced at Clem. “We’re going home”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite songs. I've listened to it a million times and I still love it. If anyone is reading this, please listen to it. There's a link in the quote at the begining and everything!  
> So, this was a wild ride. The final chapter of Act II. I can't believe I got this far. Please be patient while I work in Act III. It will be longer, and I'm starting to lose passion for the fandom. I'll try as hard as possible to finish this, I promise. But it might take some time.  
> I hope you liked this. It was a lot of fun to write and this fanfic has become a big part of my life. So far, it's longer than the first Harry Potter book, with 400 pages on word and over 125k words. I've somehow managed to build a complex theme, character deleopment and a plot in just a few months, and this really is inspiring me to write my own original stories. I have a few ideas already.  
> I've never writen so much and I've never gotten this far, so I want to thank everyone who stayed with me through these two first Acts. It means a lot. This is truly a chellenging experience, as a writer. Which is exactly what I needed.  
> Thank you, everyone.  
> Act III, "Six Weeks", will be posted... at some point.


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